Friends and keeping them when they split

United States
January 21, 2010 10:17am CST
So for years I have been doing my best to stay friends with some one I have been friends with since we where 5 and another friend who she dated on and off for years and has a child with. Now they have both been with other people and have kids with said people and on the most part ignore the fact that I am friends still with the other. The thing is on my FaceBook I posted a thing about the past and they not only posted memories but began bashing each other on my page! I made it clear that I did not appreciate this and they both turned and said it was my fault for bring up old memories. I do not feel it is my fault that they acted as though we where still 10 years old. How do I continue to be friends with them when they can turn on me that quick?
2 people like this
5 responses
@PeacefulWmn9 (10424)
• United States
22 Jan 10
These can be tricky situations, but I agree, the split couple should have been mature enough and respectful enough NOT to argue in public on your personal Facebook page. I don't have a simple answer...they're not being fair, but during breakups, emotions on both sides run high and feelings are so easily hurt or triggered. Best of luck Karen
1 person likes this
@unique16 (1531)
• United States
21 Jan 10
Hello Opiniontedlady, That is really sad. it is not your fault. They were immature ones. You were extending the oilive branch and they broke it. I say leave them be and fined other friends who would appreciate you for who you are now. There are probably many on facebook that you grew up besides these two. There is more to life than this. You deserve better. Thanks and have a great day Sincerely Unique16
• United States
21 Jan 10
That's very sad, and I know it's hurtful, plus makes you angry. I've gone through all of those things with my daughter. She's 34 and now she's about to give birth, but all her long-time friends already have children 2 to 8 years old. They would have gettogethers once a month, and she started feeling out of place and awkward because beyond her control, she could not get pregnant for years. The doctors even said she wouldn't, but God had the last word! Anyways, what sadly happens and sometimes for the good, those friends drift away, (and by the way are not real friends anyway). They have the children in common. But if they are bashing each other 'hello'!. That is very childish, and you don't need to be in a mess like that anyway. I pray you meet a very special friend who will be there for you unconditionally.
@celticeagle (123877)
• Boise, Idaho
22 Jan 10
I think it is their issue, not yours. And I think it WAS your fault for bringing it up. I would leave them alone. Perhaps when the time is right I would say something to them individually and see what happened. If they are your friends I would treat them as such. I would think it would be very dificult to be friends with both of them when they obviously still have emotional baggage. A friend to one is not a friend to the other if you catch my drift.
• United States
22 Jan 10
I brought up a conversation with almost all of my friends on Facebook about memories of High School. Their childishness is not my fault.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (123877)
• Boise, Idaho
23 Jan 10
You got that right Honey!
@Hatley (164226)
• Garden Grove, California
22 Jan 10
hi opinionatedlady that sounds so childish and it is not your fault, as you said. they are acting like little kids on the playground. It will be hard to be friends with them when they are acting like spoiled little brats. why not tell them to grow up ,its not your fault and you don't like this at all.