Why do People ......

By Gabs
@gabs8513 (48710)
United Kingdom
January 25, 2010 4:17am CST
talk about someone bad when they do not even know this Person????? This is something that has been going through my mind for a while now They don't know you at all, have never interacted with you, know nothing about you but talk behind your Back and say things that are horrible and that will put most People of the Person who was talked about, unless the Person is like me and gets to know the Person themselves and makes their own Judgment This has been on my mind since People where trying to warn me of about Person, I asked them if they knew this Person well then and they said well no not really, so what gives them the right to say bad things about this Person then ? It is just something I have to ask here now, as I can not come up with a reason for this sort of behavior
7 people like this
37 responses
@ANTIQUELADY (36468)
• United States
25 Jan 10
good morning gabs, THERE ARE JUST SOME PEOPLE WHO ARE MISERABLE & WANT EVERYBODY ELSE TO BE I THINK. i USE TO WORRY ABOUT WHAT FOLKS SAID ABOUT ME BUT I GOT OVER THAT long time ago. I found out they would talk about u if they wanted to to the point of making things up if need be. People can be very unkind to others & i think it's a very unhappy person that does this.
4 people like this
@icesmile (7160)
• Romania
25 Jan 10
They feel happy only when they make others unhappy!!! you are so right; me is just pity from them...
3 people like this
@gabs8513 (48710)
• United Kingdom
25 Jan 10
Hi Lady, I also believe with a lot of People it bugs them that they know nothing about your Life, so just to talk about you and make themselves Interesting, they make things up and before you know it you have a Life that even you didn't know about lol
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Jan 10
IMO it is because they are sneaky cowards who are afraid to say their crap to a persons face.
4 people like this
@gabs8513 (48710)
• United Kingdom
25 Jan 10
Lol Heather yes that is also very true lol
@bnx2212 (712)
• Philippines
25 Jan 10
This happens all the time, as if a certain person knows us very well, talking about us to other people, judging us, pretending that they are knew us very well. But what a heck? At least I know I crossed into their minds regularly. hehe.
@gabs8513 (48710)
• United Kingdom
25 Jan 10
Lol bnx that is a very good way to look at it and makes sense you are right at least they do think about us now and again even if it is not in the Nice way lol
@rosepedal64 (4191)
• United States
25 Jan 10
Hi gabs It has been a while since I have been on here. A whole another story on my part. As for your discussion, I think that people like that are down on themselves and don't know how to correct themselves. As in return they have to gossip to make others feel just as bad as they do. They are not happy unless they can bad mouth another. Hi Gissi...It aunt rose...How have you been doing? I have missed you and want to apologize for not checking in with you for a while. I will try to do better now. Keep smiling.
@gabs8513 (48710)
• United Kingdom
25 Jan 10
Hi Rose I hope everything is ok I was wondering where you had gone It is also boredom with People they just have nothing better to do I guess Hi Auntie Rose, I have missed you and wondered where you have been I am glad that you are back though Big Hugs
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Jan 10
You are right they don't have anything better to do. I have run across several of those kind of people here lately. I think the stress on the economy might have something to do with the nasty people. I hope I never become nasty.. Hi Gissi..Im sorry that I have been missing in action. Im back now and hopefully will be able to keep up with you and mom..Have a good day Gissi and remember to give mum lots of love... Keep smiling.
3 people like this
@gabs8513 (48710)
• United Kingdom
26 Jan 10
Well I never have lol and the things I have been through I am surprised that I never changed lol but it is not me to be nasty Hey Auntie Rose I really hope so because I am still looking out for a little Doggy for you and I need to complain in the next few weeks as Mum said something about New Home and packing and I do not like the sound of that at all Hugs
1 person likes this
• Australia
25 Jan 10
There is a reason Gaby, maybe not in all cases, but in a lot. A psychologist will tell you that very often, those who talk negatively about others have a low self esteem. By denigrating others, they make themselves feel better. By pointing out faults in another person, they are putting themselves one step up the ladder. Another reason is that the majority of people prefer to hear bad things about people. Want proof? Look at any magazine. What sells copies? Gossip! Bad gossip, of course, because good news stories don't sell. Too many people prefer scandal. I know you and I and many people do NOT like gossip and don't want to hear negative talk, but I'm afraid statistics show that most do.
@gabs8513 (48710)
• United Kingdom
25 Jan 10
Hi Cloud Yes you are right Cloud but it is so maddening I guess we have to live with it lol Moving Date is March 1st I have just had it all confirmed
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Jan 10
Is Gissi ready for the move? Does Gissi know about the move??
2 people like this
@gabs8513 (48710)
• United Kingdom
26 Jan 10
Well Sweet, he is not to sure, I think he senses something as he is watching me very carefully it is when I start packing that is when my Problems with start as he will be by my Side at all time
1 person likes this
@Lakota12 (42681)
• United States
25 Jan 10
Well I cant either . No person has a right to talk bad of someone if they dont know them. I always got to know the peron make my own judgement!
3 people like this
@gabs8513 (48710)
• United Kingdom
26 Jan 10
Yep same here to
@Lakota12 (42681)
• United States
26 Jan 10
1 person likes this
@moondancer (7433)
• United States
25 Jan 10
I don't really know the answer to this one gabs. I too have encountered this type of persecution of another. I don't know why someone would spread rumors about another person that they don't even know or have not even met. But they do! I think some people just have to spread rumors and gossip. They must make another person or persons miserable some times because they are. As it is said misery loves company. It would be much better and more fair to all concerned if rumors would not be spread about another person. It makes the person you are talking to miss out on getting to know another person if they listen to this. It is always best to not listen to rumors of bad things about another. I don't listen when someone does this. I politely ask them not to tell me bad things about people. That I will not believe things unless I experience it for myself. So I cut it off before it really gets started....with me anyway.
3 people like this
@gabs8513 (48710)
• United Kingdom
25 Jan 10
Yes Moondancer that is right But not everyone is like us and there are People that will listen and not even try to get to know the Person, because they are worried about things that they have been told, which is just not fair at all
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Jan 10
No, it's not fair to either person. They could be friends if they speak and get to know one another. If one listens to what another has said bad about one then they lose the chance at getting to know another person that really probably is a nice person. But then if I met someone that always listens to what others say about people then I don't know that I'd want to be that persons friend. Everyone deserves the chance to be heard and the chance at friendship with another.
4 people like this
@sushie93 (1359)
• France
25 Jan 10
I don't know why people who are saying bad things about someone they don't even know, maybe they are jealous so they like to say bad things? Or maybe they judging you after seeing your apparence, you face, your style of cloth? It's sad to see how people like to hurt someone, humans are cruels! Or maybe they heard rumors about this person?
3 people like this
@gabs8513 (48710)
• United Kingdom
26 Jan 10
Hi Sushie Even if they have heard Rumors they should not repeat it without facts and also get to know the Person and make up their own Minds on the Person But I guess it is human that many People just need to gossip all the time Thank you
@syankee525 (6293)
• United States
25 Jan 10
there is no reason at all. because some people are just hateful and spikeful and think they are better then others, these people are not happy unless they are causing drama or making someone else feel bad. too me when someone does this to me, i will confront them and speak up to them got something to say to me come and say to my face and not a chicken butt do it behind my back. with me people who knows me, know i dont talk about no one behind thier backs. if i got something to say i will say to thier face. people these days just sucks
3 people like this
@gabs8513 (48710)
• United Kingdom
26 Jan 10
Hello Syankee Yes you are very right and it will only get worse with People I don't understand why People have to be that way I really don't Thank you for your input on this
@BarBaraPrz (25371)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
25 Jan 10
"People will talk" as the saying goes... even if they don't know what they're talking about. Good for you for taking the charitable approach to Person.
3 people like this
@gabs8513 (48710)
• United Kingdom
26 Jan 10
Well Bar I guess it is so true, but do they ever stop to think how much they hurt People I guess not
1 person likes this
@polachicago (19073)
• United States
25 Jan 10
Gabs, gossip is as old as humanity. Some people don't have life, so they have to talk about other people business. They don't have pets, passion, they don't read books. They know how to watch TV and talk about others. Gossip is often about people's imagination, not fact. HUGS
3 people like this
@gabs8513 (48710)
• United Kingdom
26 Jan 10
You are right Pola, I never thought of it that way but yes I agree Maybe if these People got a bit of a Life they would not be so busy butting into someone elses Hugs
@Pose123 (21661)
• Canada
25 Jan 10
Hi gabs, You must have been reading my mind today because I've been thinking the same way. Small towns are especially known for this kind of behavior and it seems that many people have nothing better to do. Destroying a person's character can be as much of a crime as murder and one that people can get away with. I have literally seen people laid desolate by lies. If you can't say something good about another, don't say anything is the best advice that anyone can be given. Once the rumor mill is started, it will work overtime to make sure it finishes the job. There are many murderers among us who have never been charged. Unlike many, I see real hope in the generation growing up today, the problem of course is to keep them from being indoctrinated by their elders. If this seems extreme, it's only because I've been around longer than most. The majority of people are of course, still well meaning people, but can't seem to resist repeating some juicy gossip, although they would never start it. Sorry for the rant. Blessings.
3 people like this
@gabs8513 (48710)
• United Kingdom
25 Jan 10
Ho Pose, do not apologise for ranting as you are right in everything you say I am not keen on gossip at all and if someone says something to me I will not make a comment I let it go over my Head as it is that Persons Life and it is up to them how they lead it also like it is said, gossip starts with a little innocence and then broadens to "Oh my Goodness, have you heard" and more is added on every time
1 person likes this
@Katie2009 (145)
• China
25 Jan 10
From me point of view,I think people like to fantasy and imagine.It is a bit like curiosity but quite an irritating one. Although they don't know this certain person,but they might have seen this person before when he or she did something that caught their eyes. It is like seeing a senior-aged rich man accompanied by a young sexy girl. Some people will immediately start to think that they are related and the man is a sugar-daddy. This maybe a little exaggerated,but quite true around me. People may have seen a specific scene for several times and their brain would react exactly that way they did before which can be defined as stereotype. In addition,too many soap operas pollute our minds,which sometimes mislead people. They do not have the right to judge someone they don't know,however,they like to do so.And only by socializing with them can erase some misunderstandings and prejudice.
@gabs8513 (48710)
• United Kingdom
25 Jan 10
Yes Katie I agree with you there Also it bugs People who do not know what is going on in your Life so they make things up, I had a Neighbour like that, he was one nosy Neighbour and a right gossip it was terrible
1 person likes this
@icesmile (7160)
• Romania
25 Jan 10
Hi there, is such a good question..this happened to you? i am so sorry really; seems that everybody can be judge , no body is untouchable. I hate too, when peoples like to talk behind my back, even they don t know me well. Are people, who think that they are superior, who they think that can blame,even they don t know about who they talking about.I have same questions about peoples who like to criticize even they don t know what kind of person they talk about; http://www.mylot.com/w/discussions/2228785.aspx Is good if sometimes we ask our self how can we blame somebody, if we don t like when somebody else will judge us? All in this life, each paying for one time when he did so, criticized and insulted, even if it knew that person.
3 people like this
@gabs8513 (48710)
• United Kingdom
25 Jan 10
Well I guess those People have nothing better to do Oh it has happened to me a few times but this is not exactly about me it is just in general really
1 person likes this
• Ireland
25 Jan 10
I can't understand that sort of behaviour either. When I was living at home, my parents always told me that if I didn't have something good to say about somebody, then I shouldn't say anything and I in turn preach the same thing to my children. I prefer to make my own judgements and I don't like to listen to people who speak ill of others.
3 people like this
@gabs8513 (48710)
• United Kingdom
25 Jan 10
Hi Alexandria Yes I was told this to and I think it is certainly bad behavior for People to be like that, it makes me mad I mean even if they do know someone they should not do it, but it is worse when they do not even know the Person
1 person likes this
@Zhizho (1351)
• Indonesia
25 Jan 10
Hi..I think, there is no body have a right to judgement others even she/he know about someone well.Sometimes, maybe you feel that someone does not know about you but they think when they know about you even a litle bit, they felt that they know everything about you.It's no fair but the truth will come.
3 people like this
@gabs8513 (48710)
• United Kingdom
25 Jan 10
Yes you are right and I guess that is life I just wish that People would not do this as it does not make them Special or very nice Thank you Zhizho for responding here
• Malaysia
25 Jan 10
hi gabs , i am really sorry i talked about u to my husband, about ur fall, ur grandmother, ur home experience, about the nurse visits, ur new home and about gissi too .. but nothing bad though .. but as u said, there r lots of people who share their judgements about another person without knowing the,.. and the person who hears this then spreads that as rumour to others .. they are just behaving like human i think and they have lots of time to spare cheers
3 people like this
@gabs8513 (48710)
• United Kingdom
25 Jan 10
Lol Sanjana, that is different and I really do not mind that at all and of course you know me lol, so you have nothing to say sorry for lol I guess you are right those type of People do just have to much time and need to fill that time with something to take away the boredom and then talk about People
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84069)
• Shingle Springs, California
30 Jan 10
I have a weird tactic with online people like that. When I get warned about somebody, I often go and add them as a friend and get to know them. Usually I end up being OK with the person or even being pretty good friends with them. Of course, there are a few jerks in capes, but those seem to be the exception.
2 people like this
@gabs8513 (48710)
• United Kingdom
30 Jan 10
Lol Dawn yes I guessed that is what you would do lol And that is great to I hope I was not one of the Jerks
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84069)
• Shingle Springs, California
31 Jan 10
Of course you were not!
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164226)
• Garden Grove, California
31 Jan 10
no Gabs nobody who loves a sweet little Gissi like you do could ever be thought of as a jerk,
@ElicBxn (61137)
• United States
29 Jan 10
Some people are just petty and mean
2 people like this
@gabs8513 (48710)
• United Kingdom
29 Jan 10
Yep they are Elic
1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15898)
• Australia
27 Jan 10
You know, this is why a lot of the time I prefer animals to humans! My parents are great at criticizing people they don’t even know and it infuriates me! The first thing I ask is what is so great about them that makes them feel they have the right to judge others? One perfect example of my family’s style happened around 17 years ago when I first met my husband. I phoned my mother and told her I would be bringing him to my birthday dinner that weekend and that would give her and dad the chance to meet him. Well to cut a long story short, my mother decided they didn’t like him because he is younger than me; bear in mind that they had never laid eyes on him when they made the decision! It caused a lot of friction and I ended up not going to my birthday dinner. Of course as time went on and we decided to get married they met and accepted him and I overheard my mother telling my husband’s mum what a nice boy her new son in law was! Grrr!!! All they had to do was get to know him!!
2 people like this
@gabs8513 (48710)
• United Kingdom
29 Jan 10
Hi Paula I hate it when People do that before they have met a Person they decide to judge because there is something that does not suit them it is so wrong but I am glad that they have come round to it now but it is so wrong
1 person likes this