Welcome to hell!
By Loverbear
@Loverbear (4918)
United States
February 3, 2010 2:00am CST
This has been a "wonderful" day. I woke up in such horrible pain I swear if I had enough medication I would have ended things. Then I tried to make two pieces of toast. Yeah right! I was looking at toasters the other day because I want a small two slice toaster instead of the honking huge four slice toaster...so I got my tank of a toaster out, popped two slices of bread in it and it shot flames at me. It started toasting so I backed off and did a couple of other things...until I smelled smoke! I raced for the kitchen and there was the toaster burning the crap out of my toast...but only on one side. I took a pain pill and fortunately it went to work rather fast and I started feeling better.
Then as I was getting ready to go to class the neighbor's husband came down to the house to get her sewing machine back. I had borrowed it to do some embroidery work. I sold it to her because I needed money...I wrapped up the machine and sent it home with him. The next thing I know my boy friend comes down and informs me that the couple don't think that it is their sewing machine. So I call them and explain that it really is their machine...and ultimately after talking to the phone and getting no where fast, I decide to go up.
We (my boyfriend and I) get to the neighbor's house and am met by the wife. She looks like the mad scientist out of a Frankenstein movie!! Her hair is standing on end, her eyes are huge and twirling in their sockets and she is telling me that I stole HER machine and sold it. That the piece of crap that I gave her husband isn't the machine she bought from me, (that machine is a Janome Memory Craft 8000 embroidery sewing machine that cost me $2500 new...and darned expensive piece of crap) and that I either switched machines or I sold her machine. I tried to explain to her that I didn't sell her machine or switch it out...and she called me a liar. My boy friend was there when I picked up the machine to borrow it and he tried to intervene. The woman hauled off and hit my boyfriend and told him to butt out that it wasn't any of his busniess. She kept ranting and raving at me like a total lunatic. She finally told me to "take that piece of crap and leave, she wasn't accepting it as her machine!" I left in hysterics. I have considered that woman as a second mother for many many years. I just couldn't believe what she did. Neither could my boy friend as he has been friends with the husband for many years too.
I finally calmed down enough to go to town as I had class tonight. I got to the busiest intersection in town and the phone rang. It was the husband calling to tell me that the machine that I sold his wife was a Bernina and that the one I gave her wasn't anything but crap. Here I am in the middle of the intersection getting crap from the husband, in hysterics again, and I finally told him that I would give them the money back that they paid for the machine.
I called my doctor, knowing that I wouldn't be able to get leveled off for quite awhile because of the upset and the hurt from the unprovoked attack from this crazed woman. His nurse, who I had many head butting incidents with over the years, was an absolute jewel! She talked to the doctor and in five minutes she was on the phone and telling me that he was prescribing tranquilizers for me. He also is this woman's doctor and he is going to check over her chart. There is definitely something wrong with the woman.
The punch line to the whole tale...the husband and wife went to visit a friend in Oregon and SHE has a Bernina sewing machine. It fits the description of the sewing machine the wife ranted and raved at me about. I looked it up on Ebay and there was exactally what the machine was she was describing. I called her friend and quizzed her about the actions of the woman and if the friend owned a Bernina sewing machine. She did and was amazed when I described the machine and the case to a tee.
I am finally able to "talk" about this without crying my eyes out. I didn't even want to come home, and started to shake and cry on the drive home. I realize the woman is older (she's 86 or 87) but still she needed to stop and think and listen. I know enough about the elderly that either she is in advanced dementia or she had a severe stroke that hit her area of control and reasoning....that doesn't erase the shock, pain, and hurt from her accusations. I told the husband when he called that "I wouldn't screw them, I didn't change the machine, that I didn't sell the machine and that I wouldn't lie to them because I HAD respected them too much to do something like that."
I am now sitting in terror that he will come down again tomorrow about the whole fracas. I don't want him or her contacting me, causing more problems. I am on disability and am having to borrow the money to pay for the frickin machine that she never owned. I am going to copy pictures of the machine and enclose them with the money (my boyfriend is going to take the money to them and have the husband sign a receipt for the money...two receipts in fact. One for their records and one for mine, for protection!) and I will put a note in with the money that I haven't owned any of the machines and the two that we had weren't around when she bought the Janome. My Bernina got sold to a friend and the one my Mom had went to a dear friend of hers that would have never been able to afford a machine like that. My Mom wanted the machine to go to the woman.
I am sick over the whole thing. I missed class, cried my eyes out all day, and am sick to my stomach and about to cry again. I have NEVER stolen anything from them, lied to them, or treated them with anything but the utmost respect. So, I get to perverbally swallow my teeth after the demented woman kicked me in the teeth and the gut. My boyfriend is also reassessing his friendship with the husband as the husband sat there and let his wife pull all this crap including hitting him. My boyfriend is going to have surgery on Monday and he isn't doing well right now, so the witch had to hit him!!!
Thanks guys for letting me vent my pain. I'm going to take another tranquilizer and try to get some sleep. I just hope it comes.
4 people like this
7 responses
@Orea15 (281)
• United States
3 Feb 10
Oh, sweetie, what an awful thing to happen. {{{hugs}}}
Now, take a deep breath. Let it out. You know you did nothing wrong, and that counts for a lot.
Hold that thought.
This is a horrible story, and by the time I finished it, I am left deeply concerned for that woman. I have no doubt something is very wrong with her. Then I remembered that combativeness is a sign of brain injury. I saw that recently on one of those "life in the ER" TV shows. I'm wondering if she hit her head recently. Or, as you suggested, something else happened to her brain.
I have no escuses for her husband. She was totally out of line and he did nothing. Even if he believed she was right, which he should have known better than to do, hitting someone is just not okay, and he should have done something IMHO.
I know and love good sewing machines, and I am sorry you had to part with yours, and even sorrier that you have to part with money you can't afford to take it back. I'm praying for everyone concerned.
Blessings to you.
@Loverbear (4918)
• United States
3 Feb 10
Thank you! Ahhh, another Life in the ER fan! I watch that program every night!!! I have learned so much from that program especially about stroke and head injury victums. That's how come I realize that the woman has either had another serious stroke, or she has dementia and it has progressed very very rapidly. It also could be from hitting her head in a fall, she's fallen quite a few times.
Her husband sat with his back to the whole episode. She has him seriously cowed at this point. What interests me is that my doctor, who I called for the tranquilizers, is also this woman's doctor. He immediately asked his nurse to pull the woman's chart, which isn't normal in most circumstances. The one thing I do get the feeling of is that the woman isn't going to be with us too much longer.
I guess what is really "odd", is that I had saved enough money to bid on the same model machine on Ebay. I won the auction, the machine was shipped, and I received it in pieces. Fortunately I had it insured and the Post Office paid the insurance, but that money went to pay other bills. After the hurrah, I called my best friend to be with me while I was in town. She was ready to come out and take the woman apart. But she kept her head and she is loaning me the money to pay for the machine. So, I guess in the long run it works out because I get the machine and I know it is in good shape. But, it might be closing the barn door after the horse gets out. I don't want to touch the machine or sew again. I have always loved sewing, but the woman totally pulled the rug out from under me and has me ready to list all the stuff on Ebay...sewing machines, bear making supplies, fabrics, accessories--the whole works.
I know it's one day at a time. Right now it's finding a reason to get out of bed. This morning it was because I needed to go to the bathroom so badly. That's a pretty poor reason for getting out of bed (well maybe not, who wants to change the sheets?) I wandered through the house wondering why I am putting one foot in front of the other...I have constant pain, my ears are ringing constantly, I am barely surviving on my disability, and and and...
Thank you for your prayers. It's like getting the hugs I so desperately need at this point.
@Loverbear (4918)
• United States
4 Feb 10
I wish we were closer too, I would love to have someone to sew with! I miss having Mom with me, we would spend hours sewing and I would hear her "oh $hit" and know she needed help. I would be by her side in a heart beat and was able to teach her so many sewing tricks that she had never heard of. I took care of her machines, helped her select fabrics (I helped her keep from making terrible mistakes in buying fabric that was 90% filler- it would have become just threads after a washing) and choosing patterns. I miss a sewing buddy so much!!! You sound like just what the doctor ordered to make a broken hearted sewer better. You already have started to heal my heart. I touched the sewing machine in question and started to cry all over again!!!
Thank you so much, and a cup of virtual tea and hugs back to you. I am just thankful that my instincts kicked in and I didn't become confrontational about the situation. I just took the crap and cried when my boy friend collected me in his arms when the situation got worse. It is going to take a while for me to get my "sewing" legs under me again...but right now all I am concerned with is getting the situation under control and not start to shake when the dogs give their "someone is in the yard" bark. Each time I heard it today I wanted to run and hide! If I keep feeling this way you may find a new neighbor coming your way.
What do you sew? My Mom never realized what would come of her taking me to the fabric store with her when I was three. The owner would bag up a bunch of trims for me and I would take them home and make little purses and things for my dolls. I started sewing real stuff by the time I was 8 and started designing when I was fifteen. I now design and make teddy bears and design the clothing for them. On occasion I will design and make clothing for me. I found fabric I want to make shirts for me for this summer...so maybe I'll get my feet under me again soon.
Thank you so much for your support, hugs and that cup of tea! How did you know I drink tea like a fiend? I love Bigelow Vanilla Caramel and Peach tea in the summer. Although a cup of peach tea sounds good right now. I'll have to check the cupboard.
@Orea15 (281)
• United States
4 Feb 10
Don't let this unfortunate incident affect your joy in sewing and creating. Give yourself some time to get over the shock and horror of it all.
For your own sake, I hope you can forgive her, realizing she is obviously not in her right mind. This was her illness acting out. The real personality would no doubt be horrified if she knew and understood what she did.
It's too bad we aren't neighbors, I think we could have fun doing projects together, and you could use one of my machines any time. :-)
@minx267 (15526)
• Hartford, Connecticut
3 Feb 10
WOW, you have had a day from Hell, I feel so bad for you.. I have dealt with some crazy people and lots of people on the phone that don't stop an listen..
Most recently my boss. I had to hang up on her, calm down- a lot, collect myself and I called back an hour later and asked for the owner of the company. Told him I didn't appreciate her calling me at home on my day off to accuse me of something I didn't do.. when she had the ability to check all the facts out (listen to a conversation) before calling me. - She wouldn't have had to if she had!
But to have that happen from a person you considered friend. I would be frustrated to no end.
I hope you get some much needed rest and wake up to a MUCH better day.
@minx267 (15526)
• Hartford, Connecticut
4 Feb 10
I hate to hear someone going through all that.
And my God to have lived through what you lived through... I never considered that I had a particularly easy life. But it did not involve abuse from family, Thank God- You are a strong person to have made it through that and because of that you can not
give up now.
I do understand what you are going through now- I had that same anxiety after confronting my boss. Hell, every time I have to see her or talk to her, My stomach is in knots- because this woman is Bi-polar and I never know what to expect.. Is it going to be a good day or a bad day.. Am I going to say something that will get me fired?? -Because I WILL stick up for myself!
But what I really want you to consider... because I have done this myself...
Is to write her a letter saying what you just said to me.. (ow, wait- I know you may not want to Give it to her- you want nothing to do with her.. and the fact is you don't HAVE to give it to her.. (IF you don't feel like it- after)
But Just Write it! Tell her How you are hurt.. how you can't believe she would even say those things when you have stuck by her, when you thought of her as a second mother..
Honestly, I have done this so many times and I have felt so good after just pouring my heart out..
Then If you want to wait a day or two- Reread your letter.. And see if you might think it is worth sending. Sometimes it is... Sometimes It all blows over in the interim.
But It has helped me Lots.. I usually don't send the letter.. but years ago in the case of my boss with one of her OTHER episodes.. I was so upset.. I wrote this letter and I told her in a meeting that I had it..
Of course she took it as a threat.. (my Proof) And once in a while she still throws it in my face.. But It helped me to know that she now knows I am not going to be bullied by her! In all honesty I found the letter again a couple years ago and threw it out-- but she doesn't know that. LOL
I hope you feel better and try to think of other things.. there are many more pleasant things in this world than crazy old ladies.. -Like your Wonderful, Silly CATS -that make you laugh!
@Loverbear (4918)
• United States
4 Feb 10
Bill, my boyfriend, said the same thing about not giving in and letting them win. That they are bullying me just to get what they want. I am in bad enough physical shape that I can't take the crap from the neighbors. I haven't been able to eat all day, I've been crying continuously, and I have nearly gone through an inhaler because of the upset and stress.
Then add the terror that the neighbor man is going to come and start more trouble... I have raced to the door every time the dogs have barked to check and see who is coming. If it's the neighbor I keep trying to figure out where to hide. That's a wonderful way to live in your own home!
I suppose I should try to get some sleep. I can at least crawl in bed and cry myself to sleep...big thrill.
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
3 Feb 10
Oh my Goodness Loverbear I am so sorry this has happened to you this is awful and I can well imagine how you must be feeling
To be honest though I would not have given her the Money back
I would gone to her when she had calmed down no matter how long it took and to tell her that she needs to get herself straight and that she must have got confused over her Friends and her Machine
I do understand that you just want to be left alone now
I really hope that it will stop if not you will have to take further Steps, I am sorry Love that this has happened to you
@Loverbear (4918)
• United States
3 Feb 10
I want the problem settled and out of my hair. She is the kind of woman to NOT let things be and the dust to settle. With just dealing with the constant pain every day I don't need some woman climbing my back about a sewing machine that I never owned in the first place.
I am fairly sure that she either had another serious stroke or has dementia and it has rapidly progressed to the point that she is getting violent and mean. That's another reason I want the problem resolved immediately. I plan to have my boyfriend deliver the money, along with receipts for them to sign. I want proof that I paid the money back. One copy is for their records and the other is for my records. It will state that I have purchased the machine back. That I did NOT steal the machine, sell the machine to someone else, substitute an inferior machine for the one that I originally sold to them or in any other way tried to swindle them. I will only accept signatures from both of them. Since the wife isn't totally there upstairs, I want the husband to sign too so that I have a mentally competent person acknowledging that they were paid back for the machine that I originally sold them.
What is the worst part is the way I feel about sewing. I am so ready to give it up and get rid of all the craft and sewing stuff. I loved sewing and as posted in the picture in response 1, I love designing and dressing the bears I make.
Thank you so much for your kind words. I knew that if I went on the Lot I would get the e-hugs from my friends on the lot. At this point, when the only reason I got out of bed was because I needed to go to the bathroom, there is little reason for me to keep going... and the Lot has helped a LOT! Thank you again and again for your words of wisdom and comfort.
@sid556 (30953)
• United States
4 Feb 10
Hi there,
Wow! you had a really really bad day. One thing after another but it sounds as if what really bothers you the most is this woman and the sewing machine. Hopefully your meds will do the trick and give you a good nights sleep. As you said this woman has dementia and is old. People going thru this do tend to get paranoid and think that people they love are stealing from them or trying to rip them off or whatever. It sounds as if you handled it well. I'm not sure that I would have handed back cash. I think a check would have been stronger proof that you paid her back for the machine. At least you got the reciept and hopefully that would be enough if she continues. I know it hurts especially if you have always been close to this person. If she is suffering from dimentia then she is not in her right mind and not at all the person you think she is.
@Loverbear (4918)
• United States
4 Feb 10
I have been around people with varying degrees of dementia. It hurts so much to see someone go down hill that way. I may have handled the situation with the woman well, but I am taking a lot out of myself. The tears aren't stopping, and I can't eat. I am also doubting myself now...wondering if I have a split personality that does things that the other personality doesn't know about.
I am having a real problem with the woman, and I did call the friend of hers that lives in Medford Oregon. The couple went and saw the woman during Christmas. I found out that the woman has a Bernina sewing machine that fits the description. Now all I have to do is get the model number from the woman and get a picture of the machine to find out if that was the one the the demented woman believes she owns. It is getting far too deep for me.
I can only hope that my doctor that has been my doctor and friend for the past 30 years can give me some kind of help to ease the upset. I don't want to take too many of the tranquilizers...I think.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (102698)
• India
4 Feb 10
I dont know what to say! I can just say hugs, and hope things improve for you. I think the old lady remembers wrong! Shouldnt she be on some medication? Hitting is never justified! That would mean going straight to the police, isn't it? Yes, the husband of the lady also had no business to be quiet! In all probability, it is his memory that has failed, and he has in all probability asked the old lady wasn't it Bernina and such stuff. Otherwise, he wouldnt be so quiet! When you sell such things, dont you keep a receipt of it? What about manuals? Did you give them the manuals? Other accessories which they wouldnt have returned to you - you know they are always there. If only there was something that would have reminded them which machine it was that you gave them. :(
@Loverbear (4918)
• United States
5 Feb 10
This problem has many branches to it. First, she decided that it was a Bernina because a friend she visited during Christmas has a Bernina. The woman wanted the machine I had because it did embroidery...but she doesn't remember that. I didn't keep a receipt of the sale, though the woman did write a check for the machine. I think she filled out the memo part that it was a Memory Craft 8000 sewing machine. She arbitrarily came up with the fact that the Bernina is worth several thousand dollars simply because the two of them love money and love to not only sue people but also they get as much out of the insurance companies as they can. They have had a couple of accidents and things that really weren't related to the accident was charged to the insurance company...
The next branch...or maybe the trunk to the problem, is that she does have dementia. I spoke to my neurologist and explained the symptoms to him and he agrees with me that her dementia is advanced and in the serious stages. Thinking back to the incident, the woman definitely had the look of someone who was suffering from dementia.
I told my boy friend that the next time the husband calls about the sewing machine to tell the man that he needs to report the "theft" to the sheriff. There is too many discrepancies in the story and I have a witness to what the machine and the case looked like when I borrowed the sewing machine. Plus the woman wouldn't be able to describe or pick out what Bernina that I supposedly sold her. I have been doing a lot of thinking today and I know I am in the right and that I need to stand up and fight back....especially since the woman can't remember squat and she took great delight in not only calling me everything but a human and then she slapped my boy friend who is facing surgery on Monday...
@vandana7 (102698)
• India
5 Feb 10
Hi loverbear, nothing would please me more than you fighting back! I read your other post as well. That kind of pain is depressing and bad for immune system. Whatever happens, the spirit should not die! I am really proud of you. :) You decided to fight it out. List the things calmly, let them complain. You present your case, and let your advocate collect something for defamation and violence apart from his own fees out of their estate. That possibility will definitely scare her.
I can really understand what you went through. And now that tears have stopped a bit, cool and collected way of doing things will help.
If you liked her like a second mother, then it will pain you know! But you dont have a choice. :(
Hope you are ok now. :) tc
@hexeduser22 (7418)
• Philippines
4 Feb 10
I'm lost for words. Despite the long discussion I read it all, I must say you have had a very terrible day. If I were in your shoe I may have broken down already and considering your expecting some yelling and rant from the husband in the next day. Well I think you must understand them because they are old now but I agree with you that someone should talk some sense into her. I suggest don't arrange some selling and dealing stuffs with them because it might cause you more trouble in the future. Try to be a good neighbor for now and be patient
@Loverbear (4918)
• United States
4 Feb 10
To be honest, I have broken down. I don't sell stuff for other people as I have been cheated many times. I have had to pay their charges for the sale, the sales tax, shipping and whatever else and I never even got a thank you. I won't EVER borrow anything again, that's what started the whole mess.
I am terrified in my own home, I keep expecting the man to come to my house. Every time the dogs bark I rush to the window and check to see if anyone is there and plan where to hide.
I see my doctor later today, but I am not expecting too much. I will probably end up sitting there crying. I cried all of today and went into uncontrollable sobs. The explanation is in "Welcome to hell part two."
I am staying away from the people and I am literally hiding out in my own home. I want nothing to do with them, and I am honestly trying to make the situation right. I didn't sell her machine and try to substitute a "piece of crap machine". The machine I returned was the same machine I borrowed. I wouldn't dream of doing that to someone that I HAD respected and admired for many years.
@syankee525 (6249)
• United States
3 Feb 10
momma always said there would be days like this but never two or three of them jumping me at once lol. and she also said life is like a bed of roses but we need to watch out for prickers. lol.
yeah sound like you had a rough one, but i remind myself it could always be worst for sure
@Loverbear (4918)
• United States
3 Feb 10
I have already lived through the worst. As I posted in the first response to my discussion. I grew a great deal of strength from the troubles of my early life. I have been able to handle a LOT of stuff, including being raped the week after my divorce was final...by the exterminator that came into my apartment to spray for roaches left by the previous tenants. Each time something horrible has happened I have been able to face it head on without the deep pain I am feeling from this attack.
The one thing I have always said, NEVER say things couldn't get any worse. They always will. It is like having the dog pee on your favorite shoes. You tell yourself things couldn't get any worse and then the toilet backs up all over the floor after you have had a severe case of diarrhea in it.
This is one thing that has really hit me in the gut and I'm still perverbally picking up the teeth that the woman kicked with her insanity yesterday. The only thing that could make it worse right now is for her to call the law on me...knock on wood she might just do that!
Thank you for your response...
