breaking up should be done face to face, dont u think so ...?

Malaysia
February 11, 2010 5:12am CST
my friend did not say anything to the girl when he intended to break-up with her, he just avoided her calls as well as to meet her .. according to him, its better this way because the girl was too emotional .. now as the time passes by she will 'read beteen the lines'.. it has been difficult on us, as everytime she calls the office we have to lie to her, either he is not working, toilet or... i think he should be 'man' enough to tell her that he does not want to continue .. cheers
6 people like this
39 responses
@bystander (2292)
• Philippines
12 Feb 10
i think the best way to do a breakup, is face to face and eyeball to eyeball. for a boy to simply ignore a girl, who had been a sweetheart and darling, it's not fair and very ungentlemanly... you do something, face up to it... you've been together, and i think, you also shared some happiness, even if brief... so when breaking up, have the decency to say it face to face...
• Malaysia
20 Feb 10
@sanuanu (11235)
• India
12 Feb 10
Yes, it must be done face to face. At least the person will not die wondering what the hell is happening. It must be done in any kind of relationship. Like me, I liked a girl but she was engaged with a boy already, hence I told her that I just want to be her friend and not bf. Now, that is a different thing that she started avoiding me from that day onwrds!
• Malaysia
20 Feb 10
12 Feb 10
He's a coward! He should be a man and tell her the truth. I wonder how he would feel if the situation was reversed and he was the one being told lies.
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
12 Feb 10
wow that would be good ... revenge is sweet
1 person likes this
@derek_a (10874)
12 Feb 10
Whilst I can appreciated that it is not an easy thing to break up with someone who doesn't really want to break up, I would and have always done it face-to-face. Each of us deserves to know exactly where we stand with others, or we could waste so much time on a relationship that is going to end up on the rocks anyway. _Derek
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
20 Feb 10
yes the girl deserves to know why ??
@atv818 (1980)
• United Arab Emirates
14 Feb 10
Ideally, this should be done face-to-face. After all, you had been together for quite some times and it makes the break-up formal. But, if the two of you got together without doing it face-to-face then you can call it quits without doing so also.
1 person likes this
@artee13 (125)
• Philippines
14 Feb 10
I think that men should not break up with their girlfriends. Well that is kinda hard but the girl should be able to see already that the guy is avoiding her.
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48687)
• United Kingdom
12 Feb 10
He should be Man enough to tell her and put the Girl out of her misery, as this is hard on her and leaving her wondering what is going on, emotional or not she has a right to know where she stands and he will have to deal with the emotional part He does not realise what stress and emotions he is putting her through so I hope he has the decency to tell her
• Malaysia
12 Feb 10
• Canada
17 Feb 10
This "friend" needs to be man enough to face the girl in person, and tell her what is really going on. If I worked in your office, I would refuse to lie to the girl, and I'd simply say "he's in his office. I'll go get him!" That would be forcing him to confront the issue, and I would not be caught lying. I would not say "he's in the toilet," or "not there" when he really was.
• Malaysia
20 Feb 10
you really think we should do that .. we just dont feel like doing it .. dont know why
• United States
12 Feb 10
in most cases i would say yes,unless the person has a high potential for violence.. but he should at least tell her somehow,by note of some kind instead of just disappearing.
• Malaysia
12 Feb 10
• United States
11 Feb 10
If a man is a coward or just wants to be cruel then letting a girlfriend just hang for days, weeks, or even longer before she realizes he's not going to call and the relationship is over, then that's what he should do. If he ever really cared about her at all then he should have the decency to tell her face to face that he's not going to continue the girlfriend/boyfriend relationship. What is he afraid of? Is he afraid she'll get upset and say something to hurt his feelings? Is he afraid she'll cry and make him sad? Poor guy. I feel really bad for him. Yah. Sure I do. He should just go to her and admit he's a jerk, so much so that he was going to just dump her and leave her hanging. At the very least he should call her and cut things off over the phone if he can't bear to face her in person. If he's done it wrong before, now would be a good time to be more mature. Hopefully sooner or later he'll learn to grow up and learn to handle relationships, including break-ups, with true consideration of the other person. That girlfriend should be given the opportunity to tell him what she thinks of him.
• Malaysia
12 Feb 10
i dont think he cared for her at all ... maybe he never was in love also
• United States
12 Feb 10
Well...maybe he was and is in love...with himself...and she just didn't measure up to his standards of devotion to him.
@scaflone8 (190)
• Philippines
13 Feb 10
For me that is very insensitive and disrespectful. Even if the girl is emotional and maybe won't allow them to break up but still there is a need to at least tell her and it is much better done in person. Avoiding the situation and ignoring the girl is too much, does he not owe her that much to at least say goodbye to girl, that in a way did love her? That may be his way but frankly that is not good and making you guys lie for him is also causing you guys to sin. If he is in fact really a man. He should gather his balls to break up. whether the girl like it or not. she still needs to know. You cannot make someone hanging without even letting her know it over. It's just too mean.
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (31367)
• Denmark
11 Feb 10
In the past I have dated men who have done the same to me. They simply started avoiding my calls and avoiding meeting me instead of telling me the truth. I think that behaviour is immature, of course it isn't nice to hear the truth espeically if the girl still loves him, but he is not doing her a favour by avoiding her. He calls the girl "too emotional", but in my opinion he is trying to find an excuse, because wants to avoid doing something unpleasant (breaking up with her) I think that girl deserves to know the truth. If he waits for her to read between the lines the girl just becomes more and more unhappy. She will get hurt if he tells her the truth, but I think it will even more painful for her if he doesn't say anything and just ignores her.
• Malaysia
11 Feb 10
how did u find out at the end ...
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
12 Feb 10
oh ! the nerve of those guys ... and you guys were almost moving in and he dont dare face you at all ...
@Porcospino (31367)
• Denmark
11 Feb 10
One of my ex-boyfriends and I were supposed to move in together, and suddenly he started avoiding me. He didn't break up with me, he just ignored me and made up excuses. I had a feeling what was going on, and after a while I asked him directly if he wanted to break up with me. At first he didn't answer, I asked him again and he finally told me that we wanted to break up with me. I wish he had to told me himself instead of just avoiding me. Another guy has done the same to me, but that was a bit different because we didn't know eachother that well. I didn't ask him, I just figured that he wasn't that interested in me and I stopped talking to him.
@ellebj (784)
• Philippines
11 Feb 10
first and foremost, i haven't experienced breaking up with my partner face to face.. but i agree it is best if you do it face to face... not communicating with her/him and keeping away from her/him is the second part.. it is more painful to neglect the girl than to tell him the truth.. in that matter, have some respect for your partner.. and a relationship without closure hasn't end at all...
• Malaysia
11 Feb 10
i wish u the best n never to go tru any breakup ever dear
@ellebj (784)
• Philippines
12 Feb 10
hmm.. i already had.. had experienced it twice.. hehehe.. the most recent is about 2 weeks ago(?),he broke with me through facebook even if we are walls apart.. but it is fine.. though it is painful yet worth it.. anyway, he's back and he already realized what he had lost.. lesson learned: breaking up and letting go is not the end of a relationship, it just a stop for somethings you don't like and for you two to reflect, have space and enjoy.. if you are really for each other, then, you will be together in the end..
• Philippines
12 Feb 10
Your friend is very irresponsible. If he can't handle a relationship, then he does not deserve to have one. I know that you cannot meddle in his behalf but how long will you continue to cover his back? You find it difficult to lie to her because reality bites,you are causing her pain indirectly. Sorry, I just want to speak my mind and it infuriates me to hear about men treating women indifferently.
• Malaysia
12 Feb 10
dont worry we r hoping the girl to give up
@subha12 (18441)
• India
12 Feb 10
yes I think it should be face to face. But many times people believe it is so hard to make face to face. so they so it indirectly like avoiding the person at all. but I think its not right at all. It is anyway will make a bad image. when breaking a relation one should have courage to say that face to face.
• Malaysia
12 Feb 10
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
12 Feb 10
Hi Sanjana, Your friend is a rude coward.This girl he was seeing is really better off without him though she probably isn't seeing right now. The way he is going about it is rude and disrespectful and shows a lack of caring of her as a human being. Obviously he is not caring about how he is remembered. I am a very emotional person. I have had guys break up with me and yes...it hurts but if they looked me in the eye and were honest with me then I always look back on them in a good way and with respect and feeling that the girl that ends up with him is a lucky girl. Guys like your friend don't deserve decent girlfriends.
• Malaysia
12 Feb 10
like that "rude coward" ... i shall call him that
• Philippines
12 Feb 10
I think so too. well, it doesn't necessarily have to be face to face, but atleast tell me if it's over, be it on the phone or thru text, so I won't be confused and I won't be waiting helplessly for your return call or something. I mean your friend should really be man enough to just say that it's over and not just hide from the girl. It would only make it worse, and I think it might make the girl more emotional, cause she wouldn't know what happened and suddenly the guy just stopped talking to her.
• Malaysia
12 Feb 10
@solared (1207)
• United States
12 Feb 10
Unfortunately it happens, in long distance relationships its more the norm though.
• Malaysia
12 Feb 10
this is totally different but atr least he can call n talk
@junrapmian (2169)
• Philippines
12 Feb 10
Yes, it should be a face to face encounter. If he thinks that the girl is too emotional and thinks that she cannot take it, better leave some time... a week perhaps, just to mellow down the situation. If he thinks that the girl is a little calmer, do talk to her personally. He should be ready for whatever reactions she may have. Explain the reasons for breaking up, let her absorb what was happening. It is very unmanly for not explaining and just turning his back on to her without any explanations. Hope things go well with your friend.
• Malaysia
12 Feb 10
@emerillus (467)
• Philippines
12 Feb 10
Yes, it should be done face to face so as to make things clear. You know what, my boyfriend did broke up with his girlfriend then ( and he spoke to her personally) but the girl was so emotional and wont stop crying, my boyfriend is the type that can't stand crying or too much emotions, and he also felt pity for the girl so he did not ask once again to let him go. What he did was not to answer her texts or calls anymore and won't see her anymore. So I guess he was just avoiding the drama. You could say he was not "man enough" to handle that but at least he tried.
• Malaysia
12 Feb 10