Cheaters: Should They Be Forgiven?

United States
November 15, 2006 4:08pm CST
I have a friend whose wife has cheated on him three times. He took her back all three times because he says his vows stated til death do we part. He does not belive in divorce. Do you think cheaters should have so many chances?
1 person likes this
24 responses
emisle
@emisle (3822)
• Ireland
15 Nov 06
If he's looking for a valid reason to leave, God said in the 10 Commandments "Thou shalt not committ adultery"....that would be my excuse!
sassymouth77
@sassymouth77 (149)
• United States
15 Nov 06
Exactly! Point well said!! :-)
sassymouth77
@sassymouth77 (149)
• United States
15 Nov 06
Exactly! Point well said. :-)
Gabs
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
15 Nov 06
Once yes 3 times no way what is wrong with him She will keep doing it and doing it
Gabs
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
16 Nov 06
Yes and I hope he realises that soon
sassymouth77
@sassymouth77 (149)
• United States
15 Nov 06
That is what i think as well. She will continue as long as he keeps accepting her back.
juicemilk
@juicemilk (2283)
• Australia
16 Nov 06
if she's continually cheating then obviously she doesn;t have the same respect for the marriage as he does. I think he's setting himself up for a very sad life if he stays with her :( I have been cheated on before and I would not take anyone baack if they did it to me, especially if I was married
sassymouth77
@sassymouth77 (149)
• United States
17 Nov 06
Yes, Exactly!!
isasice
@isasice (2015)
• Iceland
15 Nov 06
It's their life and their marriage, it's not ours to judge them. How do you know he never cheated on her? Would you be asking this question if he was the one who had cheated three times and she was the one who forgave him?
sassymouth77
@sassymouth77 (149)
• United States
15 Nov 06
Good point. But see, he chose to tell me and my husband about it. So that is dragging us in. Yes it is their marriage but I hate to see a friend hurt. My husband, he and I were all friends since college. We were friends before his wife came along. So if he did the same thing to her and told us about it, I would be a good friend and tell him that if he can't respect her enough to be faithful he needs to let her know that and leave her along to live her life wothout gossip and shame.
firelight
@firelight (1858)
• Australia
15 Nov 06
No way! There is no excuse for cheating on a person.
sassymouth77
@sassymouth77 (149)
• United States
15 Nov 06
I feel the same way. There is no excuse at all.
naziashajid
@naziashajid (847)
• Canada
15 Nov 06
I don't think cheaters should have so many chances. If my husband ever cheats with me I would never forgive him and the final destination will be the court.
sassymouth77
@sassymouth77 (149)
• United States
17 Nov 06
I hear that!
groovybabyyeah79
@groovybabyyeah79 (39)
• Canada
17 Nov 06
Once a cheater, always a cheater....I don't know...i know I could never cheat on someone...I think it's selfish and cruel...I could forgive, but not forget, which would ultimately lead to the end of the relationship.
achilles7
@achilles7 (1276)
• India
17 Nov 06
I find it is easy to forgive than to scold.Scolding increases in me tension and I rarely do that.Why should enter into a fight when myself is wrong.Forgive others so that you are being forgiven. Error is human and forgiveness is devine
Patricia
@PatriciaL (2080)
• United States
15 Nov 06
I agree with your friend, I don't believe in divorce either. Especially if there are kids involved. If she is cheating on him repeatedly there is something that they need to work on whether it be counselling or something else.
sassymouth77
@sassymouth77 (149)
• United States
17 Nov 06
Yes, since he keeps taking her back, I definitely think counseling is needed.
amsharma
@amsharma (1860)
• United States
15 Nov 06
Adultry is the one valid excuse for divorce in the Bible. Forgiving and forgetting are two different things. If my husband cheated on me, I could in time forgive him in my heart, but I could never stay with him. It would never work because everytime he tried to even touch me, I would be thinking about what he did with the other person.
sassymouth77
@sassymouth77 (149)
• United States
15 Nov 06
I agree.
angel1983
@angel1983 (149)
• Australia
16 Nov 06
NO, if someone cheats they obviously dont value the marrige. I would end my marrige, especially after giving them three chances. If he doesnt want to leave then he needs to work on the marrige, maybe she is not getting the emotional needs from him and if he doesnt work on that then she will continue to do that. BAsically cheating kills the trust in a relationship and you need trust.
moreinfo
@moreinfo (3865)
• China
17 Nov 06
very hard decision. love, feeling, cheating, ,,,, its hard for me to forgive finally, i think.
milagre
@milagre (1272)
• Portugal
15 Nov 06
she will be cheatting him all over again... if he always accept her back... I wouldnt trust that person and its not a question of forgive, means that i would be nothing for the cheater, so the cheater wouldnt deserver me.
sassymouth77
@sassymouth77 (149)
• United States
15 Nov 06
Yes! My point exactly.
tumbleweed1990
@tumbleweed1990 (827)
• United States
16 Nov 06
I dont think he should give her anymore chances, it seems like he has tried but she keeps cheating, so odviosly once a cheater always a cheater. Let her go. If my husband did it once he would be gone!
angel1961
@angel1961 (759)
• United States
17 Nov 06
1 strike your out !! Boot'em to the curb !
DeenaD
@DeenaD (2684)
• United States
16 Nov 06
I don't think I'd ever be able to forgive my husband for cheating on me. It would be very painful for me.
stori1
@stori1 (331)
• United States
15 Nov 06
If she has cheated three times and also knowing that he doesn't believe in divorce, she will probably will again if she's not doing it aready. He takes his vows very seriously but there comes a point when you have to make some other decisions. Sounds also that he is just to in love to let go. If a person cheats once and you see they really are doing what they need to do to regain trust and they can sit down and comunicate, once is ok but 2 or 3 times, I don't think so.
sunita64
@sunita64 (6469)
• India
15 Nov 06
I must say your friend is really compassionate.If a person who has cheated recognises his/her mistake then he should be forgiven but there is limit to it.
butterpecan
@butterpecan (688)
• United States
15 Nov 06
I think they should be forgiven but just cause you forgive them don't mean you have to be with that person you can forgive and move on
harish4u
@harish4u (1393)
• India
15 Nov 06
not in all cases they should be forgiven i hope...
duskyshadows
@duskyshadows (131)
• United States
16 Nov 06
Actually, I think this is a really good question, and I have to thank my aunt for providing me with the answer as I agree with her one hundred percent. She said, "One time is okay. I can forgive that. But after that? No way."