'Down But Not Out'

@zandi458 (28102)
Malaysia
February 24, 2010 6:22am CST
When things are beyond your control do you feel miserable? Do you decide how the world should be or make the rules as to how everyone should behalf? When the world does not obey your rules, you get angry! Let us say that you expect friends to return favors, people to appreciate you and that your spouse should remember your birthday. These expectations may sound reasonable, but often, they do not happen the way you want them to. So you end up being frustrated and disappointed. Am I not disappointed to see a good discussion of mine gone to waste when admin see that it is no good to be on public display for reasons given not too satisfactory? Did I fool the 10 pages of responders who are intelligent enough to see whether I have crossed the boundary of wrongs? What went wrong is anybody's guess. I can only say that I am a law abiding citizen of mylot but at times can't control my razor tongue! For situations beyond my control, I have to agree to disagree on certain actions taken by the guardians of this site. They know better. I prefer sunshine all the way but rain is okay! I may be down today but surely not out as I enjoy posting discussions as long as they are still people reading. How do you feel when you find your discussions deleted? Did it motivate you further or feel like hanging your boots for good?
9 people like this
16 responses
@GardenGerty (160034)
• United States
24 Feb 10
I am not sure that I have ever had a discussion deleted. Is it the one that attracted the stalker? Sometimes it is not your fault, but that of the people who are responding. I would take it to heart, and try to do differently the next time. My feelings might hurt a little, but as you said, ten pages of respondents must have wanted to participate, and be your friends.
@GardenGerty (160034)
• United States
24 Feb 10
That is the one I meant. I did not get a notice that my replies were removed so I am puzzled. I do not know that it was your fault, it could just be the anger and rudeness that she was spewing out that made it a problem. Your question was valid, but that person basically turned all of your stuff into a battle. My income did not go down overnight.
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
24 Feb 10
Surprise? Maybe your turn hasn't come yet. Some of my friends has pm and told me about the deletion but have not informed me whether their income have been deducted.
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
24 Feb 10
No, it was about the 'women in the 50s....' She was the last responder before it was deleted. Very sorry for the people who went down with me but am happy that I have read each and everyone of the responses but only managed to comment to the 5th page. Through that post I have met many newbies, veterans who are first timers in my discussion. I hope they can be my new friends here.
1 person likes this
@salonga (27775)
• Philippines
26 Feb 10
Well dear that is part of mylot life. You are not the only one who suffered this. I myself have had two very well responded discussions which were deleted for no clear reasons at all. Well not all is lost after all. I still have the chance to create more discussions so instead of sulking I just took it as a lesson and a challenge as well. So cheer up my friend!
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
26 Feb 10
Being here one need to be prepared to face the joy and the pain of mylotting. Having said that all the pain of having to see discussions deleted only toughens me up and happy to continue doing what I am doing.
@polachicago (18716)
• United States
25 Feb 10
In situation beyond my control I let it go or I fight. There is nothing I can do, but be upset for the moment and I think what I can do. Lately I am very humble, because many people related to me are sick.Everything else is secondary in less important. Yes, when good discussions are gone without the reason I would send the message to admin for an explanation.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
25 Feb 10
I have send my query to admin but they are not responsive. I left it that they do not want to make a commitment to answer mylotters queries. I feel sad but nothing can be done as admin has the upper-hands.
@carolscash (9492)
• United States
25 Feb 10
Cheer up and don't let anyone get you down. Keep doing your work here as you know that they won't delete every discussion. Prove that you are going to do this despite the mistakes that they seem to think that you have made. Enjoy the site for what it is and work it for what you want it to be for you.
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
25 Feb 10
Well, this only happened after so long and most of my discussions have passed through mylot censorship. I have to accept it in good faith as it happened here quite often and I shouldn't be feeling bad about the whole affair.
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
25 Feb 10
I’ve been where you are now and, although I am a person who chooses not to stress over what I cannot control, there are some instances when you have been unfairly treated and it hurts too much not to react. We are only human, after all… When I had my discussions deleted my initial instinct was to log off and never come back to MyLot but I knew that would never happen so I allowed myself a little time to analyse the situation, feel the appropriate emotions and decide what I could do about it which was nothing so I made the decision to do better next time and move on.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
25 Feb 10
I think most of us have experienced having our discussions deleted at least once in our life in mylot. I really feel bad when others are affected with my deleted discussion but it is beyond my control. So, what are we going to do? Take it as a fact of life in mylot. Our attitude should be acceptance of the fact that it has happened and we should try to find the remedy instead of feeling upset or shaken and losing the courage to face the challenge.
1 person likes this
@Aaleexix (2290)
• India
25 Feb 10
All have limitation so something must goes beyond control. It is not miserable but normal. All people like to bring under control everything but everything is not possible to bring under control. So we all need to know our limitation and knowing our limitation we fix out target in such position that can't go beyond control then we need not to be satisfied. It is not right that world will run in our way. World run ion its way and we need to keep redeem with the movement of the world. If our choice is against the wave that we need to sail our life boat against the flow. Normally common people sail their life boat in the wave in a smooth direction. But many people are there they like to react the normal wave and they want to find new route. When people thing against the common thought of the people they have to face hardship. But they have strong mentality to fight against the common thought. Law are establish to restore social peace. But law has also some limitation and law are not rigid. With the change of time law are also changed. But in this who want to change the law have to face hardship. Because initially common people can't accept those. So we get so many revolutionary personality who fight against the law and establish new law for the society. Law is created by man and for restoring social decency it is restrain. But law is not absolute and rigid. So you can't say that if law is violated it is absolute fault. We need to break some established law for good reason too. All deletion of discussion here are not reasonable. And saying it may be considered as violation but I have not said so with any devilish intention.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
25 Feb 10
Maybe this is the price we have to pay for the upgrades done to this site. The admin are seriously showing their iron fist rule to the citizens of mylot. For all we know they are themselves violating their own rules by indiscriminately deleting discussions at their whims and fancies without proper investigation. With patience and understanding, we do what is right, what is necessary. We work with respect for the natural process to take its due course as we are at the mercy of the people behind this site.
• Canada
25 Feb 10
I do not take being out of control of having things beyond my control very well, but I do not turn into a dominant person either. This is what I do. I sit back and access the situation, and decide what needs to be done. If I need to tell someone else what to do, as opposed to commanding, I reason. Take my husband, for example. "If we are going to be able to afford this, we are going to need to do this, because this is what will happen if we don't, and this is what will happen if we do. My part in this will be, but in order for it to succeed I need you to..." and so on, and so forth. He tends to go with the flow and get into trouble, I tend to be very controlling, but I want to be in control of myself. Now, if I am in a situation where someone else tries to control my behaviour, I don't put up with that at all.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
25 Feb 10
It is always a good thing to discussion important issues with our spouse. Between the two of us, I am the more dominant person but he seems to agree to my final conclusion. What ever it may be.
24 Feb 10
I guess it's one of those times when you hve to accept it and move on hun. Sure it's depressing when you feel that you have been penalised unfairly, and it does feel like you just want to quit, but to quote Scarlet O'Hara "Tomorrow is another day" Don't let it get you down hun
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
24 Feb 10
Yes, it is one of those days..I accept it in good faith. Only when the turbulence of my mind has subsided can I find my rhythm here again.
@barehugs (8973)
• Canada
24 Feb 10
I am able to stay up beat most times. I've been on myLot for more than 3 years, and have never had a discussion deleted, however my rank has been 7 for at least 3 years. My rank never moves either up nor down, and I believe this is because I say exactly what I think. My feeling is - to be a good myLotter I must be completely honest, and not worried about the consequences when some myLotters take offense. I do try not to be rude, or judgmental, but obviously there are some who disagree with my principals.
@mysdianait (66009)
• Italy
25 Feb 10
Dear Zandi Unless things get tough, we will never have a chance to realise how lucky we are when they go smoothly. If we never fall down, we can never learn how to pick ourslelves up, right? Just like too much sun is not good for the plants and they need the rain, we need some bumps in our road or it would be a very monotonous drive don't you think? You and me both, and many others, have been through worse events on here and we are still going strong. It takes spirit to keep going and ours is still burning strong. In my opinion you kept your calm really well considering the circumstances and one deleted discussion is the only bruise that you have to show for it. Bruises toughen us up for the next event... and who knows when that might be? I have had more than a discussion deleted but I carried on and it will take much more to keep me from posting here. This place is home and there are friends that seem like a family and when things go wrong they rally round and help pick us up and spur us on. We are not put off by one missing response!
@neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
25 Feb 10
it only makes me work for more discussions, more quality. i don't feel disappointed but rather motivate myself to do more. it will not make me quit as quitters are losers.
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
24 Feb 10
I hate that feeling for sure. I take it personally when something like that happens. Seems like misubderstanding come up in life no matter where it is. I think it's so ugly for people to act like they do & u pay the price of their meaness & ugliness. I love sunshine to but am not one to walk off when i think people are being ugly to me without any reason . The only thing i can figure out about people who act like this is that they are miserable & want everyone else to be. U hang in there. U are a treasure on mylot & the riffrats come & go. I am a firm believer in what goes around comes around.
@kawalnarang (1095)
• Trinidad And Tobago
24 Feb 10
Get MOTIVATED and let it go on,,we are not perfect,,maybe a lil rest will help
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
24 Feb 10
Thank you friend for your motivation. I have more than enough rest everyday as I am a LOL (lady of leisure).
• New Zealand
25 Feb 10
Tbh , Idc if people post discussions that aren't "ethical", so I don't see why MYLOT should care either. It's just harmless talking... As for ur razor tongue: u'll have to show me what u mean. "RAZOR" as in straight to the point and Un euphemistic? Or offensive replies?
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85147)
• Shingle Springs, California
24 Feb 10
I try not to let circumstances that are beyond my control bother me, but sometimes the do, of course. Sometimes you just run across people who are aggravating and it is really hard to hold back that razor sharp comeback...
• Philippines
24 Feb 10
Hello Zandi, maybe it has something to do with the person that you are referring to. am sure some one thinks that the situation has gotten ugly that they reported it some how. b.b..but wait? i responded to that topic, what the? yeah i think i remember that discussion. i have the same experience myself but i don't let it get to me, most specially if the admin deleted it, i always know that when it is deleted then i really made the mistake.