Re-inventing one's self...

Well if the Person wants to and realises that they can then yes I believe with help they can but they have to want to and also know that they need to I believe this is not her true Personality due to her Circumstances this is her putting a wall up so she can't be hurt again, she thinks if she has this wall then no one can ever hurt her again and that is what she needs to work to knock down the wall but also learn how to be weary and not let someone hurt her again the way she was That is very hard to do but with help she should get there and overcome this

I changed schools about a month into 10th grade. I decided that I hated myself and asked my mom if I could get a different hair cut and some new glasses. I was also determined to be different. It wasn't easy. It was, actually, one of the hardest things I ever did. It IS still going on to some extent. But you can chose to change yourself. I can tell you that when I returned to the former school 2 years later to finish my last year of high school, that it took MONTHS before some of the people realized who I was. That I had changed enough that I could stand up and talk back to those who had been mean to me before and actually made one of the worst person's new friends laugh at him when I said - "At least I still have the same friends I had 2 years ago," because he had lost all his old friends... And his new friends knew it too... Didn't make him my friend, but it did earn me some respect from those other guys. There's a test called the Myers Briggs personality test. I am an INFJ. But the first time I took it I realized that just 15 years before instead of just being an introvert, I would've been a deep introvert. And the last time I took it the whole group was surprised to find out I was an introvert because when I had come into the room they were all sitting around looking at each other and I got them all talking - turned out I was the ONLY introvert in the group that time!

Yes,I feel tat we can change our personalities we might have a few back flashes and glitches on occasion, but if we tried really hard we could. It would take alot of change and restraining ourselves from acting the way we did..and what was natural for us because of what happened to us in earlier life..but in keeping it up and repeating it everyday and not giving in and repeating the mistakes Yeah we could..as I said alot of work and discipline though, and after awhile the goodness/niceness would start to come more natural and become who we are..either that or my head is full of bologna..lol

its too too too hard paula....i have myself tried to change some things in ME....but i have found it difficult, maybe the nature of the person or the way God has made him/her...continues to be the way it was...and i think its really tough to change one self, or try to change someone....presently too...i am trying one experiment...will let u know if i change myself..

I think that we can alter our habits 100%. Some may view this as a change in personality, but I do not think it is. I think some people can be flexible with their personalities to appear to have changed, but I think people will always have the same personality that they grow up with. I have met some world famous people in my industry who speak at events all over the world and who have written lots of books, have the multiple websites and who come across as being really outgoing people. But when it comes down to it, they are still the quiet, shy and reserved person that they always were, they have just learned how to tweak their personality a little to get their message out there. My wife and I have changed our lives totally over the last few years and have a different social network now and act completely differently to how we used to, but we still have the same personalities that we always had. My wife comes across as being really outgoing to our customers and others that know of her around the country, but she is not that type of person at all. She, just like me, prefers to be in the background and living quietly in peace.

I believe someone can change, if they are highly motivated to do so. It takes alot of effort to change behaviors that become habits, even if those behaviors are messing up your life. Generally speaking I haven't too often seen someone just do it without something happening in their life that shook them up enough to do the work needed to make a permanent change.

It is extremely difficult to change, but not impossible. You need three things to change. 1) You first need to realise that what you have been doing is not working for you, and hopefully this will give you the desire to change. 2) You need a mentor (friend) who will teach you a new way, and support you emotionally while you learn. In most cases, the mentor appears on the scene before number one above happens. 3) You need to let go of the past. You can never forget, but you can learn to forgive. The past should only be regarded as experience. Experience can give you maturity if you look at it in a positive way. If you look at it in a negative way, all you have is hate. And hate destroys everything around you. Hate is the most lethal emotion you can possibly carry around. All that said... while you can change to become an happier person, the person you really are deep inside never goes away. It is sleeping under those new changes. A fit of anger can bring it all back to the surface in a split second. It is only with time, that you will be able to control your anger. The first lesson in anger management is to learn not to react. Learn to think very carefully before reacting to anything. Most people upsetting you, are doing it on purpose to provoke a reaction from you. And each time you blow up, it put a big smile on their face.

Yes I do and I'm a example to this because of my childhood being so hard for a few reasons that I won't go into right now, I should've been a mean unfeeling person but because I know how it feels to be hurt, I don't want to hurt anybody and make them feel what I had to feel. My closest friends know pretty much what my childhood was like and they've told me that I should've been mean as a rattle snake and they're surprised that I'm quite the opposite. I've told them the same as I've said here. Now if a person REALLY wants to change, although it may take some time and a lot of adjustment and patience, they could do it but they'd have to really want to do it. If they don't then it's just not going to happen.

There are some things about yourself that are just you. You can change your behavior, sure, but your inner self? No. I may admire somebody else's sense of humor, for example, but my sense of humor is my own.

Very good ddiscussion.I think people can change we are not robots and even teh programming in robots can cause them to change.I think circumstances can affect us to the extent that it causes us to behave in a certain way and mostly this is because we put up defence mechanisms to prevent the same things from ahppening to us again .I however believe that with a process of systematically re programming and reinventing oneself and developng a new perspective anyone can change but it takes time and process

Hmm...good question. I don't think that we can change who we are but we can change what we do. I think that is someone really and truely wanted to reinvent themselves...it's possible. I think it would take a lot of work and the heart to really want to do it. People have more control over their lives than what they give credit sometimes. I guess in a way, I once reinvented myself when I left home. I didn't leave under the best of circumstances but I made life what it is for me today. I sometimes feel like I have lived a hundred lives. I have had the chance to see a lot of different sides of the fence. In some ways it is great that I have had that experience but in others..not so great. Maybe we don't so much change our personalities as much as situations do. Great discussion!

I definitely believe that change is possible.. BUT it's only possible if we truly want it and allow it; whether it's consciously or subconsciously.

Well, I believe anyone can change if they really wanted too, but you couldn't change into a completely different person over night. I heard that it takes about 21 days to break a habit or form a habit. Re-inventing oneself will take many habits that needs to be learned and unlearned.

I do think its possible to change if you really want to. In an effort to make some extra money I just recently started selling Avon. When I was younger I was quite shy and much more of a tomboy so cosmetics was never really something I was interested in and much hasn't changed as I got older. While I have taken more of an interest in makeup and such, the hardest problem I have had is getting past my shyness. When I was younger I was supposed to be seen and not heard which eliminated my chances of becoming the friendly, outgoing person I could have possibly been. Now with Avon trying to recruit customers actually forces me out of my comfort zone. But I must admit that it has become much easier now that I have products that I truly love. With time I truly hope my shyness will become a thing of the past.

hi paula, I don't see why not. I believe our personalities could change with a change in our environment. For instance, a person raised in a hostile environment would probably have a hostile personality. However, if that person were to move into a friendly family situation, I see no reason why they would not recognise this to be better than hostility, and change accordingly.

hi paula I think there are a lot of things we could c hange in our' personalities but the underlying basics like introvert or extrovert I do not think completely change. For example when I married my hubby I did become more outgoing when I wentout with him, but myself I was still an introvert. I did try very hard to be an extrovert and be open and super friendly to anyone even strangers. but I could not really sustain this and I felt like I was acting a role and not being myself. When I more or less reverted to the real me actually people seemed to gravitate to me more than before. I think if you are super outgoing you will more or less not change but if you are shy and more likely to just talk to two or three people at a party you still are not going to become the life of the party and start singing and acting the fool.You are still an introvert. So you can mend some parts of your personality but you still have the base that is still the you of you.