Finally! Justice has been done.. My Ex's Allegations were Dumped!
By jennybianca
@jennybianca (12912)
Australia
February 25, 2010 3:20am CST
Today I went to Court. My ex husband, in an attempt to cover up and minimise the impact of his assault on me, tried to get a Domestic Violence Restraining order.
He was doing this, because he is very scared that I will lay charges of assault.
I probably was not going to do this, because I just wanted the separation and property settlement to be amicable. Ex was not capable of this.
He tried to get this restraining order, in order to miminise the impact of charges, that I wasn't gping to lay.
The Court threw out his stupid claims. Apparently he is furious.
I have now laid charges of assault.
I was driven to this, by his lies.
The next move is property settlement which is due in Court on 31 March. He wants 50% of MY assetts. As if......
8 people like this
18 responses
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
25 Feb 10
Hi Jenny,
Good for you for sticking up for yourself. I'm glad that you are pressing assault charges as well. I understand entirely on just wanting to end things quickly and civil as possible. I didn't press charges on my ex when I left either. I was told that I should have and looking back, maybe I should have. The charges will go on their permanent record and could be a red flag for future women. Good luck in court and let's hope that he doesn't get 50% of your assets.
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
26 Feb 10
I wasnt going to press charges, I just wanted the whole thing over with, but he drove me to it with his lies.
Im sorry you were in a situation where you could have pressed charges.
2 people like this
@laura_lmaxi (678)
• United States
25 Feb 10
I am very glad that you were able to do this by yourself, and that the court saw thought the lies of your ex-husband, he should be put in jail because he lied about such a delicate subject about what domestic violence is, it is important to get him punished, because then he will learned that his behavior can have consequences for him, and he will think 2 times after doing something like this. Well done for you when you laid the charges of assault, I admire you, and I really hope that his guy can't put his hands not even in 1% on your assets.
3 people like this
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
26 Feb 10
People lie in Court all the time, and even though it is against the law, they always get away with it.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
25 Feb 10
'CHEERS' definitely there is something for you to celebrate now. You have consistently updated us with your court proceedings and I as a layman without any legal knowledge has all along been very confident that you are going to win very easily you win hands down. Victory has been knocking at your door and the court proceedings was only a formality. I am happy for you. 
3 people like this
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
26 Feb 10
Thank you verey much. The next big day will be March 31 for prooerty settlement when he wants to get 50% of my assetts.
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
1 Mar 10
Good for him and even better for YOU! 
Thank goodness the judges are trained to see a liar when one happens along! And I applaud you for filing charges against him! What a bully he is! All I ask is for you to be very careful because if he can carry on like he's doing, he's capable to do something even worse including killing you and I DON'T want to hear that that happened to you! Seriously. Please be careful!
Thank goodness the judges are trained to see a liar when one happens along! And I applaud you for filing charges against him! What a bully he is! All I ask is for you to be very careful because if he can carry on like he's doing, he's capable to do something even worse including killing you and I DON'T want to hear that that happened to you! Seriously. Please be careful!2 people like this
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
1 Mar 10
I dont think he will go as far as killing me. He is a police officer and is terrified of loosing his job.
I hope I am as successful at the property hearing.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
25 Feb 10
Good luck. My cousin was going through something similar. Her ex is a family court lawyer, so he knows all the tricks. His new girlfriend finally got him to be reasonable, but not before my cousin had run up tens of thousands of dollars in attorney's fees countering all his stupid motions. Hope yours goes smoothly!
2 people like this
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
26 Feb 10
Yes, the lawyers fees and court costs are going to be high. I will pay mine, but I am definitely not paying his, which is another thing he is trying to get... I told my lawyer I will refuse to pay my ex's court cases, and she said I have to abide by the decision of the court. I said I would rather go to jail.
2 people like this
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
26 Feb 10
I hope it won't come to that. I might say I would rather go to jail if I were in that situation, but then I'd calm down, think about my kids and reluctantly start paying. 
Or perhaps kill him and hide the body. Just kidding...
Or perhaps kill him and hide the body. Just kidding...2 people like this
@portisray (503)
• Philippines
26 Feb 10
LOL! That is a funny thing to say you would rather go to jail if you are also the one who will pay your ex's court cases! Even though I did not follow your court battle with your ex, it is quite enough for me to know your hardships. In the end justifies the means, so keep on fighting!
4 people like this
@cerebellum (3863)
• United States
25 Feb 10
Congratulations!! It is a good thing the court saw through him and thew the charges out. I hope they continue to rule in your favor when you go to court for the assets. From what you have said it doesn't seem like he is entitled to anything, let alone half.@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
26 Feb 10
Exactly. He is trying hard with the poor noble victim and sympathy thing!
1 person likes this
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
25 Feb 10
I am glad that they seen through him and threw it out. Good luck on the rest of it. Getting a divorce can be so upsetting and unfair at times.
2 people like this
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
26 Feb 10
Yes, even his boss at Police Headquarters saw through his malicious attempts.
@GardenGerty (157562)
• United States
25 Feb 10
He is being such a pain because he knows he was in the wrong. I am glad you will file charges. I know that is easy to say because I am not there. I hope that you continue to get very wise judges who can see him for what he is and take steps to protect your assets. Meanwhile, life keeps on happening, so have great fall, as I understand that is the season you are headed into.
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
26 Feb 10
Yes, autumn should start in about one months time.
I do hope that if this poroperty settlement goes to full trial, I get a fair judge.
1 person likes this
@whiteheather39 (24403)
• United States
25 Feb 10
Good News! If I remember correctly from your previous posts he did not bring much (if anything) into the marriage. That being the case I would fight tooth and nail to make sure he did not get even 1% of my assets.
Good Luck!
My second husband cam into the marriage with a duffle bag of clothes and that with and some odds and ends were what he left with but he was honorable and did not fight me at all. I had always earned much more than he did in our 10 years of marriage and he respected that.
! If I remember correctly from your previous posts he did not bring much (if anything) into the marriage. That being the case I would fight tooth and nail to make sure he did not get even 1% of my assets.
Good Luck!
My second husband cam into the marriage with a duffle bag of clothes and that with and some odds and ends were what he left with but he was honorable and did not fight me at all. I had always earned much more than he did in our 10 years of marriage and he respected that.2 people like this
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
26 Feb 10
You are right. My husband only brought furniture, a car and zero in his bank account, although he did have a good income. He is not honorable like your ex.
1 person likes this
@scarlet_woman (23465)
• United States
25 Feb 10
sweet!
i'd never give up 50 % of my assets.
if they were bought in common,that's one thing.but if i brought them to the table myself,no way.
2 people like this
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
26 Feb 10
That is exactly right. My assetts were not bought in common. Anything we bought together, I am happy to share.
1 person likes this
@skysuccess (8858)
• Singapore
25 Feb 10
jennybianca,
Congrats!!
Great to know that you've won another battle and progressing very well with your court case. My! My! And, you did it without a lawyer....this is certainly very remarkable.
Frankly, I am full of admiration for you and glad that your ex is really getting what he deserves. So, what's next after the hearing on March 31? I pray that you will not leave anything to chance and that you will continue with your smooth winning streak. So, do keep us updated.
Justice has prevailed another day!
Great to know that you've won another battle and progressing very well with your court case. My! My! And, you did it without a lawyer....this is certainly very remarkable.
Frankly, I am full of admiration for you and glad that your ex is really getting what he deserves. So, what's next after the hearing on March 31? I pray that you will not leave anything to chance and that you will continue with your smooth winning streak. So, do keep us updated.
Justice has prevailed another day!@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
26 Feb 10
After the hearing on the 31st, the property part "may" all be settled. If we both aggree on who is to get what. Now, if we dont agree, it goes to full trial which is very expensive and could be a couplec of months later. Very rarely do property settlements go to full trial, but as Im not prepared top give up any more than 10%, we could be one of those rare cases.
After that, is the Assault charge. I have already laid it. Ex doesnt know about it yet, I believe. It is a long process. My daughter has to be interviewed next, along with my neighbours.
The criminal trial may be late this year or even next.
1 person likes this
@skysuccess (8858)
• Singapore
26 Feb 10
jennybianca,
Correct me if I am wrong but I think you can still admit the assault charges in the form of the police and medical reports to substantiate your divorce case.
So, I hope that everything will work according to plan and I am sorry for your marriage.
Take care and have a nice day.
2 people like this
@mandybeau (279)
• New Zealand
26 Feb 10
Remember the two cases are separate Criminal and Civil, so if the Civil is heard first as I believe it would be, the evidence of Assault would prob. be inadmissable.
I worry about anyone going to Court representing themselves. Too many grey areas.
Generally 50% is the norm, and Judges usually apply the norm.
Good Luck tho. Remember the Guy is innocent until you are ablt to prove him guilty.
I would want the criminal action heard before proceeding with the Civil, but would have all valuations done as of the date of splitting.
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
26 Feb 10
Good! That’s one battle won! He has lost some credibility and that is good for you. I don’t blame you for laying charges; no man should get away with assaulting a woman! It doesn’t sound as though he has much of a chance of taking half of your assets. I wish you all the luck in the world and I hope the best outcome results for you...At least it will be over soon...It’s funny when you look at a nasty ex, it’s hard to believe that you loved him once; that’s how I feel about mine! All the best to you...
2 people like this
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
27 Feb 10
On 31 March, if we agree in property settlement, that part of it will be all over.If we dont agree, then we go to full trial, and pay for it.
Later of course will come the criminal trial for the assault.
2 people like this
@tigeraunt (6326)
• Philippines
25 Feb 10
dear jenny,
this is very upsetting to be in a position like yours. but i tell you dear, you are one tough lady.
may you get more strength to be able to pass all these trials.
ann
2 people like this
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
26 Feb 10
I am very determined thats for sure. If I wasnt "tough" I would have put up with a lot more domestic violence and loose a lot more of my assetts.
1 person likes this
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
27 Feb 10
Yes, I hope to reach home run... eventually.
2 people like this
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
26 Feb 10
i think my lawyer is a bit frustrated by me, as I say things like "I will not pay my ex's cost, no matter what". She replies with, "well, you have to abide by what the court says."
1 person likes this
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
3 Mar 10
Not if we had only been together 6 years, and did not purchase any properties together.
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
3 Mar 10
My ex and I split up after a few months. I had a house, all the furniture and appliances and car, he came to the marriage with his clothes and a small truck. My solicitor said that even though he did not contribute financially to the home that he had mowed the lawns and done other maintenance in good faith, blah, blah and that gave him an entitlement. Luckily for me he left it too long to make any sort of claim so when he did the judge scoffed at him and threw his case out.
@mipen2006 (5528)
• Australia
25 Feb 10
Hi jenny, I feel for you and I understand what you're going through. The divorce is only a minor part in what can be a very stressful time, especially if the situation is not amicable. My wife got some of my family's antique and other possessions, even my valuable coin collection, my settlement was about 90% - 10%. That was a long time ago though, so I trust your's is better.
1 person likes this
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
26 Feb 10
Was the 90% your way? It is very unfair for your ex wife to take your familys antiques.
2 people like this
@mipen2006 (5528)
• Australia
26 Feb 10
No way! I came to collect my children for my weekend to find the house totally empty. It took me weeks to find where she had moved to, and find my kids. During the property settlement my lawyer more or less gave up telling me it was too expensive for me to try and get my family heirlooms back.
1 person likes this
@homeshoppers (6166)
• Philippines
1 Mar 10
im glad you realize to divorce him as other women just stay with their husband just for the sake of their kids even if their husband always hit them. maybe his just trying to protect his record having domestic violence as for sure once he found another girl and that girl found out the reason of divorce im sure she will going think twice if she will accept him or not.
1 person likes this
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
3 Mar 10
Im quite sure he hasnt found another women yet, I know what he's like.
