do you think I can?

United States
February 27, 2010 12:09pm CST
Ok, so this is basically what's going on. I have a pretty attractive neighbor, and I dont think that I've ever had a real conversation with her, but she knows me and I know her. We have tons of mutual freinds, and all of them say that I have a shot with her. The things that i want to know are 1) how do you talk to someone that you really don't know? 2) would it be weird if I were to like IM her on Facebook out of nowhere? 3) What are some good first time conversation topics. 4) One of my good freinds likes her too, but he knows her because they went to middle school together, so I really don't know if I should steal her from him, or if i should go for her, because he's one of my best freinds. She also goes to a boarding school, but she comes home once a month, and then there are the breaks, so its really not that bad of a deal. I also don't have a problem finding things to do, and I hate it when my freinds just do stuff with their bf/gf all the time, and never do anything else. So I guess it would actually be good that she goes to boarding school, because I could manage her/my freinds pretty well.
8 responses
@AudraF (25)
• United States
27 Feb 10
First of all, I would like to say that you should check with your best friend to see whether or not this would consider to him to be stealing her. If it's not, go for the following advice, and if it is, ignore it and stick with your friend. Try going outside at the same time, and what I mean to say is that, run into her. Like, when you see her checking her mail at the mailbox, you go outside to the mailbox too. Something along those lines. Then strike up a conversation about the thing that your bumping into eachother at. If it's the mailbox, talk about mail, if it's the grocery store, talk about grocery shopping, ect. An example starter would be "Wow, i get so much mail." or *look into her cart* "Do you have a dog/cat?". This makes her feel that you are interested in her, because your observing her moves and actions and commenting on them as you do them together. This also makes her feel like you have something in common with her. After that, ask her more about herself, and let the conversation flow naturally. After you've had a good talk to her, say like, maybe 15-25 minutes, friend request her on face book. The conversation before hand will make it seem non-creepy, but that, once again, you are interested in her. Do not, i repeat, DO NOT poke, comment, message, ect. until she has accepted your friend request. Then talk online and ask her out!
• United States
28 Feb 10
Great post, audra! Get out there an make the situations move forward for you - - and note your friends interest in what you do. Solid!
@qamarep (4447)
• Pakistan
28 Feb 10
get together with her if you dont then after manymany years like 2 decades you will regret this
• India
28 Feb 10
regarding your best friend… you say that he knows her, so there might not be something more to it. Why don’t you talk to him openly and see his reactions. You know you might just bring her topic casually (as your neighbour) and see what your friend says. Regarding conversation topics, you can always ask her about her school and talk on from there. Yes, it could be kind of pushing yourself if you just IM her like that…maybe in course of your casual conversations, you can talk about Facebook and tell her that you would IM her. Yes, you don’t know her but if you’re interested, it’s a risk you have to take…if you don’t take courage and approach her, she might never ‘know’ you at all
• United States
28 Feb 10
Ok so to your first question, you can start little conversations since she is your neighbor. To your second question as a female I will deffitnately let you know that is not even close to the right thing to do. So No! Do not IM her. 3rd question like I stated before since she's your neighbor anything from weather, to her school since she goes away to school. 4th it depends how much he really likes her and know dont do anything behind his back just keep it 100% with him and let him know that you are liking on her. It wouldn't be stealing her from him cause she's not his to begin with. Just take the chance the worst that could happen is she's not interested but one door closes another will open. Dont hesitate any longer cause you might miss your chance. Good Luck!
@satya4186 (280)
• India
28 Feb 10
yes my dear you are right according to my view you are telling about your friend what you have made from facebook am i right.
27 Feb 10
Have you heard the expression "a faint heart never won a fair lady"? You'll have to be brave, my friend, and approach her. Don't ask her out the first time you talk to her, just say hi. The fact you have lots of mutual friends is the way to start the conversation. Just say something like, "I believe you know so-and-so, did you know he'd bought a new cellphone (or whatever)?" The second time you strike up a conversation, ask her what films she likes or what her hobbies are. Have a another nice chat and leave it at that. Now, the third time, taking your cue from what she said at your last meeting, casually ask her out. I can just imagine it, you say: "You know you said you like Brad Pitt? There's one of his films on at the cinema on Saturday, would you like to go?" Her reply? "I'd love to go. Thanks for asking me!" As for your friend liking her too. One of you is going to be disappointed. Why should it be you! Good luck and keep us posted.
@Genericbe (1378)
• Philippines
27 Feb 10
In my opinion, The best thing I suggest for you to do are: First is to be able to have a good impression with her at all time. This will catch her attention and the possibility that a door will be open for you relating to her. Second, IF you are speechless when it happened for real, then always start everything with a smile. This may give her thinking to be aware of your actions. That will catch her attention possibly. Third, the conversation topics can be any, if you have any ideas of her like then it will be a good plus for you. just make sure that during your conversation, it will be a smooth one and will only give a good intention most specifically as friends for the meantime. This will gain her trust that your intentions is cleared. Fourth, when you are given time to be with her, be comfortable and let her speak more of herself, this will give you enough idea about her and things you have to avoid, and let herself know you freely. Give and take relationship is best at all times. Fifth, if one of your friends do like her to, then accept it only an awareness but not a total restriction of your goal especially if in your heart feels truly in love with her. Some do have this thinking "may the best man win" Sixth, Do your best. Do not think of any negative thoughts. Good friendship may lead to a more growing relationship. You must not be scared in fact accept the challenge for yourself. Have a direct goal and good intention. Just be true to your feeling and if time comes for you to tell her, then all these things I have suggested are the contributions leading you there. Honesty and good intentions do always prevails. I think you can do it because you are in love. Just be the best you can be by being true and honest to her. Good communication is a big factor at all in any relationship. In this, you will gain trust,confidence and additional maturity in life. Good luck and I do hope for the best to come along your way.
@ash6666 (819)
• India
27 Feb 10
If you would like to follow really do the following things what i say and i feel you could definetly will start to have a talk with her definetly.Firstly you have to greet her with your eyes.She may not be looking at you automatically.You yourself plan such stuations that you go infront of her with a smile on your face.if that happens twice or thrice,she will automatically look at you.Again you plan the same situations and this time you have to say hai or hello like greetings and so on..i think you can feel free chat with her...all the best..