greatest fear for single mom or dad.

Philippines
March 5, 2010 7:43am CST
i know theres a lot of single mom even single dad out there. but my question is, whats your greatest fear if you become one of these. as im going to be a single mom soon i only have two fears for my child. first one is how do i tell him where his father if the child ask about his father at an early age. second is, if i can give my child good life being alone knowing life is so hard in terms of financial matter.
10 responses
@bystander (2299)
• Philippines
6 Mar 10
things have changed, homeshoppers. single parenting is now more of a choice than an accident. why go on a relationship when all you need is a child? children nowadays, also have a deeper understanding of things happening around them and it doesn't necessarily mean that only a couple can raise a good child. just look around you and you will know what i mean. also, the stigma of a single parent has long been washed away and single parents are accepted to be so, no longer social outcasts or pariahs.
• Philippines
7 Mar 10
actually my worries i snot me being a single mother as i know i can handle that s my family is with me, my worries is for my child as not all child are smart and strong enough to carry nor absorb everything. i just want him to grow up like normal child without hatred nor any pain. and i dont know how my child will absorb the things someday specially at the very young age. thats why im trying to figure our from single mothe how their child reacts when it happened to them also and on what way they tell them about the truth without hurting the child feelings.
@bystander (2299)
• Philippines
8 Mar 10
that's your responsibility, homeshoppers. live up to what you want your child to be...
@jaiho2009 (38989)
• Philippines
5 Mar 10
hello friend, What you have wrote were common fears with single moms. In my opinion,being a single mom is a choice. You choose to become a single mom rather than staying in a relationship which we feel is not working anymore. We choose to be single than staying with our kids father,and living one roof but full of misery. So,the moment we choose this decision,we should learn to accept the truth and have the courage to face whatever consequences may arise. Being a single mom is not easy...that,the fact behind this. Single mom should learn to conquer those fears...and be ready always for this is the kind of situation that we choose. I am also a single mom,and fighting to overcome any fears. I tried to ignore and doesn't entertain negative thoughts,instead..i strive hard to give my kids a brighter future more than a father can do. Be brave and face all the challenges my friend...take care,and be courageous for your kid.
• Philippines
5 Mar 10
glad to hear that words from you though i just hope i can make it, coz i have doubt to myself if i can make it or not or just give it up and let my parents took care of my baby. though im not getting any younger now since im already 33 but for the fact that i never had any responsibility before since i used to be the youngest and so at my age im still scared of this responsibility which i know not that easy.
@jaiho2009 (38989)
• Philippines
5 Mar 10
Responsibility comes with great challenges dear. I know you can make it,it takes time for me to learn and accept that. Thu,i can't say i am successful being a single mom,yet,i am proud that,i choose to be a single mom..happy and contented. Cheers to that my friend
@rajaiv0810 (1013)
• Philippines
6 Mar 10
Hi Homeshopper! Well yes it's not going to be easy, in fact it would be a tough job for you as a single mom. I'm not saying this to discourage you but this is just a fact. It is a fact that I know most single parents can conquer. I believe that the moment you chose to have your child showed a lot of your courage, that is the beginning of your strength and your child will become your motivation and inspiration to fight that fear. I grew up without a father, and I haven't met even a shadow of him. It was difficult for my mom and I especially for economic reasons. However, I grew up without actually looking for a father. I don't know exactly why, but probably, because my mom was honest with me from the very start. I think she told me facts about my father when I was 4 or maybe 3 I dunno. My mom was always there and since I'm a girl it was a little bit easy. Of course sometimes I would feel jealous to see friends with fathers but you know I never bother my mom about it. I think the key is really in your hands, you have to be honest with your child so he/she wouldn't question you someday. You have to show her your love and even if it's difficult at times you are willing to sacrifice to make things better for you and her. Good luck to you and your baby. Have a safe pregnancy.
• Philippines
7 Mar 10
thanks i know i will give ll my love and support to my baby and i know that my life has meaning now and that to be a good mother to my child no matter what. i just hope i can do it and i can make my baby happy besides my family is always there for me no matter what.
@myramae19 (667)
• Philippines
6 Mar 10
hi home I know a lot of single parent and one of them is my friend,and she is very successful now, being a single mom made her stronger, her son is her motivation and inspiration to work,he became a better person. I know its a tough situation but as a single mom you also need to be strong for your child. just tell him/her the truth about his/her dad, child has the right to know about their father. just be strong, cos As life goes on there's a lot of challenges, so we just need to be strong and never give up
• Philippines
6 Mar 10
hmmm i think if my child will ask me about his father. actually growing child always longing for a complete family, having mom and dad. but actually its a matter on how you will raised the child, as early as possible let the child know the truth. and just the 100% love and care.
@vandana7 (72823)
• India
5 Mar 10
Hi homeshoppers, I couldnt bring myself to adopt for the simple reason that by the time I could afford a child, I was having my own health problems. Therefore, I chose to forego the pleasure. My fear was I would end up at some operation table, having a massive coronary attack, and my child would have nobody trustworhty to turn to!
5 Mar 10
I would mostly be worried about our financial situation. I've not been the breadwinner for a number of years now, and of course if I did get a job therre would be the question of finding money for child care. The thing is, many of my firends are single mums and are coping really well, a couple of them have even managed to find the time and energy to go back to school.
@ladychai (147)
• Philippines
5 Mar 10
I became a single mom like a year and a half ago. That was and still is my fear but not for myself but for my child and her father. Although the father still communicated with us, my child keeps on talking about having a complete family and I know the blame will be placed on the father's hand because it was him who cheated and went away with another girl. Children nowadays can understand what is going on with their life, I should know my child is only two years old and she already has questions why me and her father are not together. I believe the most important thing is that if you can inform the father, if he is willing to accept your child then do not deny him from fulfilling his responsibilities to your child. It is easier to explain once the child grows up. When it comes to financial aspects, her father never gave even a single cent, I told him not to as this can become one of the roots to our never ending fights but it does not mean that I will not accept anything in kind. In your case, there are actually a lot of ways to support your child and give him the best things you can offer if you will will it. Things will be possible if you want it to be possible you know.
@mr_pearl (5037)
• India
5 Mar 10
Hello there... Your questions are genuine and I have a genuine answer for those... My answer is in the form of a question... 'Do you think that you're going to remain single for all your life?' The cheerful way in which you've posted your question, tells me that sooner or later, you're going to find a soul mate... He can be the father of your kid, can't he? I am talking about a soul mate, who'll tell you all about his life and whom you'll let know everything about you. I am sure that there'll be a man who'll father your kid. Trust me, life is a little tricky but it never goes unsolved. I hope and I pray that all will be well with you soon.. .Good Luck!
@cloud31 (5810)
5 Mar 10
My greatest fear would be if ever is"HOW TO TACKLE BEING A MOM AND DAD RESPONSIBILITY AT THE SAME TIME" if only by myself, that's the greatest fear i will have to make a good answer.He need a father to make him a better person to grow confidently with dad beside him.How to answer every question of him about his dad? That will be another fear. Anyway being a single parent is really tough but i just hope it will make good reason to have all fears vanished inside his/her heart.I believe you can make it home,stay still. Happy mylotting!God bless!