Would you sacrifice for the sake of giving your child the best future?

Philippines
March 11, 2010 3:54am CST
It is every parent's goal to give all the necessary needs & wants of their children. I have a 9-month old baby named Carl Jaybert who is so sweet and cute, I and his dad loves him so much that we are most willing to sacrifice just to give him a better life ahead..My husband came up with an idea to work in Saudi Arabia for greener pasture and eventhough it's the hardest decision ever to make, we both agreed to grab the opportunity of earning more despite physical separation.
4 people like this
29 responses
@Jackvan (14)
• China
18 Mar 10
I'm sorry that i can't agree with you. Child is very important for us without doubt, but not all. As parents, we should have our own lives. I think a whole and happy family is the best gift for the kid. We live together and raise child together, that's more important than making more money.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
10 Apr 10
It's alright Jackvan, you are free to release all that's in your heart & mind. I never thought of having this kind of life, I mean it's not one of my major plans to allow my husband to work abroad. Since there's no other way than making it happen, we had to leave so we can save up for our child's future. But I swear to myself that after his 2-year contract, I will convince him to stay with us. Maybe at that time, we would have enough savings to put up a small business.
• China
12 Mar 10
i have seen your son from this picture, he is really so cute. loving baby is the instinct of human-being, we all love our baby. sacrificing something for our kids is necessary but not must be.the most import thing parents should do for their kids i think is to give them a good enducation and health evironment to grow up, because mental health is as essential as physical's. hence, as far as i am concerned taking much time to accompany with kids is the most important things parents should sacrifice.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
21 Mar 10
Thanks, my baby looks like my younger half brother. I learned a lot from your response - well done!
• Philippines
16 Mar 10
I really don’t know. The sacrifice I did for my family is only by not thinking about my personal life but them only. Who do not love their family, most of us of course. Its really hard to separate from your family, its hard to live in a foreign land and not seeing them. You are just alone, all my yourself. Its really hard, it can kill you. That is why I admire ofw’s out there, how come they have the strength to get away here and be in far places just to give their family the life that they wanted. I don’t know if I can do really. I am not that brave to separate myself with my family. I remember when my company had an excursion in Batangas. I was away from them only one day. That night I can’t stop thinking about them and I keeps on texting my father asking them if they are okay. If in that scenario, I can’t make it what if I will be separated and go to foreign land. Let see in the future. I admire your husband’s decision regarding this. It is never easy. I know I will be seeing you and him having a tight hug and a bucket of tears when you fetch him at the airport. Its hard! I am now feeling it. You and your husband is very brave for having that kind of decision. You deserves to be called one of the greatest parents. You really love your child. Your child really deserves you.
• Philippines
10 Apr 10
Of all responses I received, it's with yours that I cried. Your meaningful words hit me bull's eye! I suddenly missed my husband who's been away for 4 months, my heart seemed to explode in seconds. It's truly difficult to handle the situation, there were a lot of times when my baby wakes up & cries in the middle of the night, I wanted to cry along, wishing my husband was around to assist me nurture & take good care of our little boy. If God permits, when he comes home after his 2-year contract, I wouldn't let him leave again. I'm trying to save some from the money he sends every month so, we can start a small business & live together as a happy family soon.
• Philippines
12 Apr 10
I am really sorry if I made you cry. I just put the message like that because I truly understand your situation. Just pray that time will fly so fast so that when you wake up tomorrow the 2 year contract already ended!I really hope sacrifice worth between the two of you. For sure you are not the only one in this situation, that is why you have to be tough!!!! Just always think this is for you child! Godbless you and your family.
• Philippines
12 Apr 10
He he...it's alright, I was really touched by your words especially the sentences stating how dramatic would our next meeting be (after 2 years). Thanks for your wonderful post. God bless you too..
@common_man (1799)
• India
11 Mar 10
HI friend, yes every parents tries to give their best for their children and make future of their children bright, even if it means suffering a bit for self. But one thing i will tell, in upbringing of child, both Parents being with child plays important role in child's psychological development. U can evaluate option of accompaning your Hubby at new place where u can earn better. BEst Luck.
• Philippines
11 Mar 10
Yes, I do agree with you my friend. You've just given me a great idea, I would love to discuss such matter with my husband. As you said, it's best to have both parents around as a child grows. Thank you so much. I'm starting to love this site, I don't just find new friends or earn some rewards but also learn something out of the responses and comments I read from people with great wisdom.
• United States
11 Mar 10
I am going to be leaving for another country to be with my new husband. It is a little scary thinking about leaving your home country and living in a new land but I am sure that you would do good. I have just started this site as well, it is nice.
• India
15 Mar 10
Best of luck, fatimaji.
• Bangladesh
10 Apr 10
Hey ma'am, Though I've not yet been a father, I know it very well how important a child to its parents. The way of making fortune isn't the same for all people. Your husband did what he thought best to earn best. As a son of responsible and caring parents like mine, I've noticed how much concern they've shown while bringing me up. After a child is born, we should take much care and give attention as much as possible to rear him/her to the fullest. There is a saying: "As you so, so you reap". They way and manner you'll nurture your child, he/she will grow up accordingly. Therefore, sometimes we need to sacrifice something for the sake of the best future of the child. Have a great day.
• Philippines
10 Apr 10
Hi there! Thanks for your post. I'm sure you can be a good father when you become one. You understand well the great roles that parents do for their children to live a better life.
1 person likes this
• Bangladesh
10 Apr 10
Hey ma'am, Thanks a lot for supporting me. I've already known from your discussion that both of you are really good parents who are trying their best to provide the best future for their child. As a Muslim I've learned from Our Holy Quran by Allah and Hadith by Our Holy Prophet Hazrat Muhammad Mustafa Sallallahu Alaihis Salaam how to rear a child. Link: http://www.missionislam.com/family/childrensrights.htm http://www.islam101.com/sociology/parchild.htm http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/Satellite?pagename=IslamOnline-English-Ask_Scholar/FatwaE/FatwaE&cid=1119503549752 Therefore, my religion has stressed upon the role of a happy family. Link: http://www.missionislam.com/family/civilised.htm Have a peaceful life.
@Ladyslipper (1330)
• Philippines
12 Mar 10
I saw my Mom and Dad sacrificed a lot of things for my brother, sister and me to have a good future. I would also be willing to do the same. I guess parents are really like that. We want the best for our children. When I was still single I always dine with my friends to a luxurious restaurant. I need to have a coffee with Starbuck at least once a day. I have to buy my clothes from the boutiqe and it has to be branded. I party a lot. Everything changed when I became a Mom. Whenever I go to the mall I have to buy something for my son first and whatever will be left will be for me. I don't mind as I love my son very much.
• Philippines
21 Mar 10
Yes, that is true. We always prioritize the needs of our children though it means ignoring our own. I had total enjoyment of my single life, now that I have my baby, I know my happiness/enjoyment will be doubled. I love my family.
• Philippines
25 Mar 10
Honestly, the happiness I feel now that I have a 5 month old son is more than double. It does not matter if I can't buy anything for my self as long as I see my son have all the best things in this world. I'm happy seeing him happy and healthy. The feeling is something new and something I like. :)
@doryvien (2293)
• United States
11 Mar 10
Hi eloveriz, I guess most parents will sacrifice for the sake of their children. My father worked away from us because there was no job opportunity for him in my hometown. Now that I am married and have kids, my husband opted to work in another country (US) because while he had a good paying job here, we knew that it won't be enough once the kids go to high school and college (they're both in grade school now). It is difficult but we both know it's for the greater good. I'm just thankful that we have this technology now (the internet) that enables us to communicate with each other everyday at less cost.
• Philippines
11 Mar 10
Hello, thanks for posting your response..Reading some views from other people could at least help me accept and adjust to the situation I am into now. Being parents is such a difficult but enjoyable task..Let's be friends huh? thanks...
@doryvien (2293)
• United States
11 Mar 10
Agree with you, and my I add that parenthood is one of the most challenging vocations of all time. Welcome to myLot! Hope you enjoy it here as we all did.
@shibham (17019)
• India
11 Mar 10
Hi amiga, nice avatar and a very sweet baby u have. Next, great decision u have taken. I appreciate a lot. Where life is a field of sacrifices, its better to sacrifice ourselves for the sake of our children. I have example as my parents and so i too (although i am unmarried now.) hahaha. Salamat.
• Philippines
11 Mar 10
Hi there! your response is very much appreciated. I'm just new here in mylot & I'm enjoying it. Hmmm..You know few Filipino words? have you been to our country? Please add me to your list of friends...Salamat.
@shibham (17019)
• India
11 Mar 10
Thank u for your compliments friend. I surely can say that u will never leave mylot if u interect with us bcoz we are too more friendly and helpful. No friend, i have not gone to phillipines but i have some very good friends from your country. I have learnt from them. Thanks.
@jess07 (319)
14 Mar 10
Hi, Every parents goal is to make sure that their children have the best life possible. Of course in your situation it will take time to get used to the physical separation, you should be very proud of your decision. You are making the best choice for your baby and his future. I know that my mother would never have done something like that for me. Best wishes to you and your family. Jess
• Philippines
10 Apr 10
Thanks for your wide range of understanding jess. I'm truly proud of my husband who suffers homesickness this time for being away from us. He even cried when I sent him our son's newest picture. His situation is much difficult because he misses me & the baby, a bit easier in my part because our little boy brings me joy everyday. It could at least lessen my burden and sadness.
@Ritchelle (3795)
• Philippines
14 Mar 10
anytime my husband can hop on a plane and work in australia should he choose to. but besides professional reasons, he almost started the technology in a local radio station here (hence that is his baby) he still wants to stay here even with my urgings then he go back to australia. i think as long as one plans and accepts one's limitations in having children then i think one shouldn't go abroad. personally this is a regret i wish my parents abide by but it's all under the bridge and they are who they are. anyway, we were 5 children in the family and much as my father was the only one working in uae we still were able to finish all our studies in college and got to buy 3 lots. we were living way below our means since my mom is a good budgeter. but i wish then they tried other methods of family planning. it still hurts me that i wasn't able to pursue law since we cannot afford it. i think it is unfair for any child to hear that. any pain that a child feels because his parents didn't think and stuck by their initial dream of giving him their best is really unfair. peace but as long as we live the way we should then any amount of money we earn would always be enough. and there may be more left.
• Philippines
10 Apr 10
Hi Ritchelle, I can relate to what you've stated here. I also regret being unable to finish a 4-year course in a dreamed school as what I've always hoped for. It wasn't pushed through not because of my parents' incapability to send me to a better school. They can actually afford giving me the reality of my dreams if only I've known my real dad earlier than the exact date we first met (I was an illegitimate child). Going back to the topic, parents must give their children the best future by all good means. If working abroad can be a better start of fulfilling such plan, I see no wrong with that. But if there's an option other than being away from the family, it's the best thing to do.
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Mar 10
My hat's off to U both! Oh by the way, just what does your "HUBBY" do over there AND does he need any help getting it done??!
• Philippines
14 Mar 10
Hi my friend, thanks for posing your comment. My hubby works as a machine operator at Forsan Foods in Saudi Arabia. It was an urgent hiring posted by a recruiting agency, he just happened to pass by their office and things took place so fast. I was even unprepared when he told me that he was leaving 3 months after his application.
• Philippines
12 Mar 10
Hi Eloveriz, I know that it is hard to make sacrifices to ensure a better life for your child; many families are separated because of the present conditions here in the Philippines. I am a daughter of an OFW (Seaman) and knows this too well. Unlike your husband, he can go home after completing 10 months. He made this to be able for us to go to good schools and being provided the best that money can buy. My piece of advise it to persevere - but always keep the communication lines open. It is now possible to do it especially when technology is high tech (unlike us letters provided comfort). Also, be prudent in saving money for your child - have a separate deposit for extra money - you will neven know when you will need additional money. Good luck to both of you.
• Philippines
10 Apr 10
Thanks for your wonderful advice joseline. Yes, we do communicate everyday through cellphone & internet. I do keep some cash from the money we receive monthly, and spend it wisely and responsibly. Have a good day to you! God bless....
@kquiming (2998)
• Philippines
12 Mar 10
I think I can relate to that, the only problem is, your kid might be estranged to his dad when he grows up, just as I was to my parents. But anyway, if you're confident enough that you can deal with any challenges that come with the decision, then I suggest grab the opportunity before it's too late. I wish you good luck with your endeavors.
• Philippines
25 Mar 10
I expect that to happen but I'm doing all necessary efforts to make my child understand why his dad is away from us. Whenever his dad calls, I do turn the speaker on for him to hear our conversation, they see each other through web cam and I always make sure he knows his father's face by showing him some pictures. At the time his dad comes home soon, I'm sure they'll bond. Thanks for posting.
• Philippines
12 Mar 10
if thats the only thing to do then why not, the future of the kids is still important besides theres too many people already doing that kind of decision. what matter is you can give the child a better love and care while the father is away. your lucky still coz your still have husband who only think what best for the baby unlike me, the father was just coward enough to stay away from his responsibility but then as i mother my baby still need me more than anyone else so no matter what happened i will still be there and will give the best for him even if i also need to be separated to him to work abroad.
• Philippines
25 Mar 10
So, you mean you're a single mom? That's hard, but you can make it my friend. You have a wonderful son who brings complete joy to your life, give him all the love and support that his dad failed to show. May God be with you always.
@jimmysun (401)
• China
12 Mar 10
yeah, as parents all they've done are all for their children's bright future. As i am just be a father, I really have the same feelings with you, her monther and I awlays try our best to think of her, such as the best education...all we've considered just for our child, no matter how hard it become true, we try best...
• Philippines
25 Mar 10
Yes, we work hard for our child's best future - it's the greatest gift we can give to them.
@rosegardens (3040)
• United States
12 Mar 10
Congratulations! He is so adorable. You sound like wonderful parents. Do not worry about giving your child everything he may want; it is good to want things and not get them at times. It builds character. Meet his basic needs and the most important: praise him when he does well, and correct him when he is bad. Let him know he is loved by telling him, holding him, playing with him and enjoying his presence. Do not worry about providing for college; save what you can and allow him to also contribute to his education. Most of the people I know who had to pay something for their college ended up being pretty decent people and studied hard. Some of the ones who had college paid for did not study so much and ended up causing problems for the university. There are always exceptions to the rule, but for the most part this is true. Enjoy your lives together. I wish you all the happiness you can have in life.
• Philippines
21 Mar 10
Thank you for your wonderful piece of advice. I'm learning great tips and ideas here in this discussions.
• India
12 Mar 10
everybody thinking of his child feture.beacuse her child feture is better on them.
• Philippines
25 Mar 10
That is true. It's our responsibility to prepare them for a brighter future.
@myramae19 (667)
• Philippines
12 Mar 10
hi el Yes, every parents wants the best for their children. My hubby also working abroad, and the longest time we've been together was only 37 days since we got married, it's quite sad to think that he can't be with us everyday..but as a parents we prioritize first our son good future..let's enjoy parenting
• Philippines
21 Mar 10
Yes, parenting is an enjoyable task. The love we have for our kids is the primary reason of it all. It's really hard for wives to be left with the kids but it's harder for husbands who suffer homesickness while away from his family.
• United States
12 Mar 10
everything
• Philippines
21 Mar 10
Definitely yes, parents are willing to sacrifice everything for their children. That is called Unconditional Love.
@jammyt (2822)
• Philippines
12 Mar 10
Oh yes, I agree to this 100%. My husband is based in the province because he was promoted and assigned there. It's hard because I'm not used to it.
• Philippines
21 Mar 10
Hi jammy, we'll get used to it sooner or later. Thanks for sharing.