How to overcome sadness/pain from break up??

@cloud31 (5810)
March 14, 2010 6:48am CST
I came up with this topic when my very best friend had suffered so much pain and sadness from her previous relationship..She can't eat and sleep well, she seems doesn't want to get up from her bed.I feel so sorry about her and I don't know how to comfort her..Her tears always falling down her cheeks.She's been in loved with the guy but the relationship has come to an end for some many reasons. Any of you guys had been in this situation before?You may want to share your thoughts on how to overcome her sadness. Thank you and Happy myLotting!
6 people like this
43 responses
@kquiming (2998)
• Philippines
15 Mar 10
Aww, that's really sad. She must be depressed? Anyway when I was experiencing the same thing with an ex, I had the support of my friends so it was a little less difficult for me to get a grip of reality and finally accept the fact that it's over. It all starts with acceptance. It's easier to fight off depression when there's something that holds you together. Find a reason to be happy. Do all the things that are enjoyable for the senses. Cry and don't be guilty about it, just be reminded that this will be over in time. Only time heals really. Let love and hope die the natural way. Because whenever one tries too hard to forget , things only ends up worse. Say no to rebound relationships ;(
1 person likes this
@Bhemzky (423)
• Philippines
15 Mar 10
Hi! I've been in that situation before and I did share it to the world. I will send you a message with the link to that page. Hope it helps. :) For now, comfort her in all possible ways and make her forget.
@hagirl (1296)
• United States
15 Mar 10
First of all, although it takes two to tango... In most instances it also takes two to break-up.... Don't let anyone fool you although it may weigh more stronger in the other ones favor don't let anyone tell you it is all your fault.... Usually the ones that say that caused the more harm..... For instance, I was physically and mentally harmed for 14 years but during the separation and divorce he still persisted for a long time it was all my fault.... Until one day I got the balls to tell him what was what just because I got tired of hearing it.......
1 person likes this
• China
15 Mar 10
Sorry foe hearing your friends sad,i've been in such situation before.It is a very terrible situation,and it's the very time when she needs you very much.If i were you,i would try my best to spend as muc as time with her.Instead of talking,maybe just sitting together,just try to make her to feel your exist.I am a chinese with poor english, and i don't if you can understand me.But i've told you all i know. Thank you and Happy myLotting!
1 person likes this
@freymind (1351)
• Philippines
10 Nov 10
just move on and pray to God to give her strength. though you love the person and loose them it doesn't mean its the end of the world. i'd say tell her to just go out more ofter and live her life with happiness instead of sorrow... she is lucky to have you as a friend since you care for her. tell her to devote her time now with family and friends for them to ease her pain... that way she'll also feel loved and forget the one she had just let go..
@visijay32 (447)
• Philippines
18 Aug 10
Indeed, the hardest part in a relationship is when one wants to part ways. I've been through this situation before. Those days were dark, bleak, and painful. However, no matter how painful my life then I've decided to move on even if my body says "I can't". It is a tough call. But it is the test of character and will. Sad to say, unless your friend is adamant enough or has the will to move on, she will not be able to do so. Forgetting is out of the question. She will always remember the times of joy and love. As a friend you should encourage her to see that light awaits her at the end of the tunnel. Tell her not to blame herself or her ex-lover because in one way or another they are both to blame. Instead show her how to forgive one another. Advice her to thank her ex-lover for the memories when they were together. Teach her how to love again, for love will find its way to those who seeks it.
@buenavida (9254)
• Sweden
30 Jul 10
Hello, cloud31 Perhaps you have read the article that our friend 1hopefulman wrote some time ago. "How Can One Mend a Broken Heart?" - You find it in Triond. Real life, practical advice that works in other situations too. Nice to be your friend, thanks for the invitation! I hope your friend is feeling better now..!
• Philippines
27 Jul 10
Find another one...simple...
@joiele (49)
• Philippines
23 Jul 10
I'm going thru a break up myself.. And it's not easy. Its hell! But I got the best people in town. My family and friends. I know your friend is also thankful for your company. Let me share something my mom told me. "Remember all the bad things about the relationship and about the guy. This will help you feel you're fortunate you and him are not together anymore. Think that you will be better off without him." These words of advice I live by. It may also help her to cry her out a lot. It may take days or weeks until she will tell herself she's already tired and would want to stop crying herself. Or if she thinks the relationship can still be saved, why not try? At least at the end she will have no regrets. Maybe she also needs some slap on her face. A reality check. Sometimes the person who will give you the best realization is the person who broke your heart. Hope this helps...
• Portugal
25 Mar 10
i dont think a new guy is something she should look for right now as has been said. she needs to be by herself and establish goals for her life. She needs something in her life that she can call her own and activities outside her relationships.
@gyn0007 (31)
22 Mar 10
i have a friend also not so lucky with relationship... the one thing that makes her calm is to eat chocolate, ice cream and get enough sleep... that's her way to forget her feelings, although she cannot avoid to cry! One thing to overcomes sadness is to look ahead and never look back your past...
@indahfth (11170)
• Indonesia
22 Mar 10
It is very difficult to get out of grief, let alone the loss of someone. But the thinking is still much to do but bemoan the fate of the grief that would be lost. I've had the same experience, I am very sad and do not have a zest for life. But I always try to change the situation by seeing family and friends who love me. I felt there was no point in grieving too long, there are relatives and friends who are ready to help out of sadness. Now I became a stronger person. I took advantage of all the sadness that I experienced.
@MsTickle (25051)
• Australia
19 Mar 10
I can totally understand why someone breaks up with a person like this. Given that they are behaving this way after a break-up, what sort of a pain in the neck were they to be in a relationship with? I'm guessing this person is totally self centred and incapable of being responsible for their part in the relationship and the break-up. I believe they lack the maturity to even be in an adult relationship. They should stop feeling sorry for themselves and get over it and realise the lessons to be learned. I'm guessing their ex is very relieved and happy to be out of it all and having a great time.
@mzz663 (2773)
• United States
17 Mar 10
find other things to do with her to keep her busy. she needs to get her self esteem back up to where it belongs. she's probably depressed and needs a good friend to keep her mind from going into the feeling bad and depressed state. Good thing she has a friend like you that worries about her!
@coffeegurl (1467)
• United States
16 Mar 10
The best way to get over a bad breakup is to hang out with friends and have fun. She is lucky to have you as a best friend. Try to get her to go on a vacation with you. Sometimes travel puts things in perspective. How do you feel? Do you think they were a good match.
• United States
16 Mar 10
While I haven't really been through such a hard break up, I think that the best way to get stuff like that is to just distract yourself a lot and keep yourself busy. Also working out helps too. I heard that studies have shown that people who exercise frequently are less prone to depression. Hope that helps. =p
• United States
16 Mar 10
well i am not a man but i have had my share of sadness and hurt but i have one thing to say to your friend it doesn't do any good to stay in bed and cry what if she lost him because he lost his life she would have no choice but to go on so she needs to buck it up and go on with business the more you baby her the longer she will cry but try something that will make her get out of the house for a few hours when she wee that the world is here she may go on if not get her help she is depressed.
@ronaldinu (12439)
• Malta
15 Mar 10
time is a great healer. When I was in this situation I tried to seek the support of my friends. Going out with a close friend and sharing my thoughts helped me in seeing things more clearly and trying to forget my past relationship. It's not very wise to jump into another date as soon as you finish the previous one. It is more wise to have fun with your friends and give some time to heal from past wounds
@idowrite72 (2214)
• United States
15 Mar 10
I am going through the same thing myself and it is even more dificult since we are still friends and talk everyday. I want to be with him and know that I can't. She needs to get busy. I have a busy week in front of me and know that it will help keep my mind off my sadness. I have been sitting around here feeling sorry for myself, but have been talking to online friends and they have helped quite a bit. She does need to get out of that bed and find things to do that interest her. I have meetings to go to and bowling and am even going to a movie with friends this week. I have a grandparent breakfast and 2 luncheon/get togethers in the same day!!! She needs to get her days filled with things to do to stay busy and get her body moving so her mind can also be moving. I've had a few days and I am ready to move on, even though he is still in my head and my heart!!
@celticeagle (123444)
• Boise, Idaho
15 Mar 10
She needs to have a good cry, yell alittle, then rest. Then she needs to get busy with her life. If the relationship has definitely come to an end then learn from it and move on. It can't and doesn't happen over night but it will come. She needs a good friend like you to be there for her, say positive things to her, let her cry on your shoulder and keep her busy with like.