My friend said she had feelings for me after so many years!!!!

@pcserver (395)
March 16, 2010 9:41am CST
I have a very good friend - she is a girl and after all those years of friendship she said to me she loved me in some kinda way. What would you do if something like that happens? And what is your advice...I do not know what to do...!!!
1 person likes this
9 responses
@olepmis (843)
• Philippines
16 Mar 10
If you have feelings or in love with her why not say you love her, too. If not, be gentleman and tell her nicely that you like her as friend no more no less so that she will not expect anything from you.
2 people like this
• Philippines
16 Mar 10
i agree with you there.Don't take advantage with what she confessed. Though it's really good to hear if you want to try to put your relationship into the next level. But, if you really don't have romantic feelings for her, then don't let her hope for it.
@pcserver (395)
16 Mar 10
I really don't like her that way. i have a girlfriend. It is not official yet, but I like someone else...so I think I'll tell her what I think - being honest may be the best thing to do.
1 person likes this
• Canada
17 Mar 10
Most definitely! Honesty is always the best policy!
@celticeagle (123506)
• Boise, Idaho
17 Mar 10
If she is saying she loves you as a friend then I would embrace her and tell her the same(if I felt that way ofcourse). If you mean she loves you romantically I would be werded out totally. If I had known someone for years and then suddenly this came up I wonder first about myself and then her. How could she have hidden something like this from me so well as it to be such a surprise now?
@pcserver (395)
19 Mar 10
I was in shock when she first told me. I am still wondering how she concealed it from me for this time!!!
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@celticeagle (123506)
• Boise, Idaho
20 Mar 10
Gheez! I would be in shock too! I wonder how she concealed it too. Do you think she was unaware for awhile maybe too?
@scja16 (322)
• Philippines
17 Mar 10
I guess you need to know your feelings whether you love her as well. I totally idolized her to have the guts on saying those big words to you. So, try to think of your situation and if you love her then I dont see anything wrong for it. But if you see her as a friend then better be honest and tell her your feelings about her. It may help her move on to her life.. God bless
1 person likes this
@pcserver (395)
19 Mar 10
You are so right. As everyone else you said to tell her the truth. That is my intention. I am just concerned not to offend her that way...
• Philippines
16 Mar 10
your decision in this would mean either you give up your friendship and become more than friends, or remain as good friends. being on the safe side, it would be better for the 2 of you to remain friends. but i know the urge of love is unbearable and hard to resist, as in case of your friend, so in this case you may need to assess what she truly means in your life. if your feelings for her is deep and passionate, you may reconsider becoming more than friends. think about it, and ask for advice to some people who know the 2 of you. this would be best.
@pcserver (395)
16 Mar 10
That's right but the difficulty is that we cannot stay friends after this. it will be hard but I'll do everything possible to stay friends with her...
1 person likes this
@khaezi (1003)
• Philippines
16 Mar 10
I think you just need to be honest. If you have the mutual feelings toward her or not tell her the truth..this might clear things out for both of you.
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@pcserver (395)
16 Mar 10
Yes. Telling the truth might be the best way to do it. Thank you for sharing your opinion. I haven't decided what to tell her exactly, but maybe I will tell her just that i do not like her. It may sound harsh maybe, but honest. I know her, she will appreciate my honestly I think, but there is a chance she'd like to lie because she is too sensitive sometimes...
1 person likes this
@tessah (6621)
• United States
16 Mar 10
ive had this happen a few times. and while i would appreciate the "friends" honesty.. it put a strain on the friendship alot of the times. and itd downright make me rather angry if i was involved with someone at the time they "confessed" their feelings. it isnt right to make a move on someone if they have someone already.. and id think if theperson was indeed a "friend" they wouldnt do that to you. if yer not already involved (nor is she) and you have more than friendly feelings for her.. i say go for it and give it a shot. sometimes the best lovers / partners.. start out as "just a friend"
1 person likes this
@olepmis (843)
• Philippines
17 Mar 10
I agree with you best friends are best lovers/partners if they started as friends.
• Canada
17 Mar 10
Hi Hun! I think that honesty is the best policy! That may sound very old fashioned or dorky, but it's true. If you feel the same way then tell her, but if you don't then try to let her down gently! That in my opinion would be the best way to handle it!
@pcserver (395)
19 Mar 10
I already told her the truth yesterday and she accepted it very good. I think we/ll remains friends and I am so glad. Thank you again for your advice. :)
1 person likes this
• Canada
19 Mar 10
Your more then welcome for the advice, and I'm glad everything worked out!
@krisnel (498)
• Philippines
19 Mar 10
you have not mention if you have a girlfriend. if you have a girlfriend and you love your girl tell to your friend that the two of you should be friend because you dont want to ruin your friendship. if you dont have a girlfriend then it is time for you to make a realization if you had a feelings for her. if you realized that you dont love her then explained it to her but if you realized that you love her then go for it.
@pcserver (395)
19 Mar 10
Thats the thing...I almost have a girlfriend. She is not officially my girlfirend, but we are very close and go out recently. My friends knows about her and I told her the truth that I had no feelings for her - I liked the girl I go out at the moment. She wasn't offended and I am glad. We remain friends still and everythings OK. Thanks for the advice, though :)
@di44ito (496)
• Bulgaria
20 Mar 10
I thing that if you like her too there is no problem to be together but if you don`t fell the same there`s not so good, you have to tell her that you wnt just to be friends if there is no problem for her and if there is you two together have to work it out in some way.