Is your first answer no?
By savypat
@savypat (20216)
United States
March 28, 2010 12:17pm CST
At a period in my adult life No was the first thing out of my mouth when asked to join a club, bake a cake, start something new. One day I woke up and realized that I had retreated to the two year old stage. When I examined what was making me respond in this manner I understood that my mind was telling me I just couldn't do one more thing, my life was spread way to thin and I tried to be all things to all the people I loved. I looked at what I did each day and well into the night and I started a list. Yes that is where I learned to use lists for solutations to problems that over powered me. After I had my lists I honestly looked at each thing and just stopped doing things I didn't like to do. Sometimes it took a while so that no one else was hurt but in about two years I found that I was able to say yes again when asked to do something I wanted to do. Have you found yourself on this treadmill in your life? If so have you been able to do something about it? Tell
me how you handled it.
2 people like this
9 responses
@tigeraunt (6326)
• Philippines
29 Mar 10
dear pat,
there is always a time in our lives when we feel we need to stop and reevaluate what is going on.
personally i ask myself, why i should do this or that.. because it is part of the work? deep inside i feel like a robot and i dont like it at all. i ask myself why is there discontent, what is lacking? why i feel i cant cope up? i get my answer.. because i have not been relaxing. all that i have been thinking is worrying.
what to do - i dont know yet. i have to stop worrying. but how?
ann
1 person likes this
thanks pat.
@dawnald (85137)
• Shingle Springs, California
30 Mar 10
Certain things I just don't deal with any more. Phone solicitors, for example. I don't let them get past 2 sentences any more. If I want something, I'll go out and find it. If something comes looking for me, I'm pretty sure I don't want it. I don't want to deal with interruptions or distractions at home other than from people (or critters) that belong there to begin with.
1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
30 Mar 10
I relate to that feeling, being spread too thin and I also have the inclination to say no to extra things. I have looked at my life very carefully and at everything I do every day and I’ve had to make choices, some things had to give and that’s that so, until the day comes with a few extra hours I’m done. I’m not complaining because I love what I do each day there’s just no more time for anything else.
1 person likes this
@MagicalBubbles (5103)
• Canada
29 Mar 10
I think I was the opposite of you. I used to say yes all the time, so much so that I would be running low on energy and not have the strength to do my stuff. Now Ive learned to say NO and not feel guilty about it. I tell people that I dont have the time or that its something that doesnt interest me and too bad if they dont like it. I never had anyone help me with anything so they'll learn how to get buy without my help......I did.
The only people I dont mind helping is my dad and his brothers or sisters...but hey, they're all in their 70's and 80's.
1 person likes this
@besthope44 (12123)
• India
29 Mar 10
Well..my answer is Yes for your question..lol. Yes i do. My mom will always pin point it, that i know only NO for any works. Haha rather i can say thats my laziness or fear or lack of confidence. But now i dont use it always.
@KrauseHome (36445)
• United States
6 Sep 10
This is definately a Good way to look at things, and take control back over your life. I think too often we allow ourselves to spread ourselves too thin, and then looking back over it all we find we were missing out on some of the Fun things in life we really want to do. For me there have been many times I found writing a list or finding ways to slow down some left more time for me and to be able to enjoy life again.
@GardenGerty (169568)
• United States
28 Mar 10
Hmmm. I wonder if that was what was happening to my dad, when I was a kid. It was always "No" or we can't afford it. I reached my most recent saturation point last December, with my job. I quit my job. End of discussion, sort of. I still field calls from the person who took my place, and up until about a month ago, I still was getting subtle, and not so subtle hints/requests/demands that I come back in some capacity. I am not doing it. Not because of the people I took care of, but because I was never allowed to be in a position where I felt like I was competent. If I reached that "ahh" position, they added one or two more things on, no chance to say no. I have much less money now, but still can say no when I want.
1 person likes this
@hofferp (4734)
• United States
29 Mar 10
I was on that treadmill, and I was stretched so thin, I ended up in the hospital a couple of times. I was able to finally stop it when I retired. I retired as soon as I could, when eligible. I wasn't going to stay around for another year or two, like some of my co-workers. I'd had it, and when given the opportunity, I retired. I've never looked back...
1 person likes this
