The nerve of some people!!!!
By dloveli
@dloveli (4366)
United States
April 2, 2010 7:22am CST
As many of you know I am a medical assistant doing home care. My patient is wonderful. It's her daughter that's the problem! I had been noticing that my patient's motorized hospital bed was getting ready to give out. I went onto a website that Im involved with to see if anyone had one. Within two hours, I had one. The whole point of this web site is to pick it up quick. When I went to work I couldnt wait to tell them the news. When I did her response was " that's nice" I wasnt expecting a parade but come on show a little excitement. ITS A FREE TWO THOUSAND DOLLAR BED!!!!! Its been over a week since these generous people offered this bed for FREE! They even took it from the third floor storage to the garage. When I told the daughter she said " Well I have to look at it first..." WHAT???? Its a hospital bed not an oak antique or something. I feel so bad. My husband is so mad because he feels she shouldve been looking for a bed. Now that someone has done all the leg work for her and found it the least she could do is just pick it up so I dont look like an inconsiderate busy body. I left her a note saying telling her that I felt it was taking way too long and it was unfair to the people giving her the bed to make them hold it. Am I wrong? Do you think it makes me look stupid for trying to help?
5 people like this
29 responses
@newtalent (1112)
• United States
11 Apr 10
I guess you probably should of asked her before doing anything. I dislike ungrateful people but some people don't care about anyone but themselves.
You tried to do a good deed and the intentions weer good, I would not worry about it.
@syankee525 (6261)
• United States
2 Apr 10
not at all. to me i often will help people out who needs like couches or whatever. to me if i am getting it free for them and i even got people to take it to them then begers cant picky about what they get.
to me she should be happy that you found out. she need to stop complaining and feel bless you got one
1 person likes this
@mr_pearl (5018)
• India
4 Apr 10
Hi DL... I don't think you did anything wrong. neither does it make you stupid for trying to help. You are there to look after the patient, right? And you did your best, by searching for a bed that the patient needs. There is nothing wrong with that and certainly nothing foolish in it.
The daughter, it seems, doesn't understand the importance of things and she wouldn't learn her lesson until something happens. This 'something' might be terrible or some slight thing, but then only the daughter will know the importance of what you have done for the patient. Meanwhile, I don't know what you can do about it. Oh, and you did a good thing by leaving a note for her about it.
Here is an idea!!! I think, you should also have mentioned the importance of this new bed (which they're going to get for NOTHING) for the patient. You can either have a direct conversation about it or leave another note about it. That will definitely motivate her to be more active... And I am sure she will apologize for her ignorance too... Take care... And have a great time! 
@mr_pearl (5018)
• India
5 Apr 10
Hello DL... Of course, you are understood by your friends. Please reassure yourself that you are doing the best at your duty. I wonder, why the patient and his daughter try to harrass you. Can't they understand that you're working all the 7 days of every week?
You know what, I think you should find another job. I am sure you have started looking for another job, already. Look at the facts! You have been working for the whole week, for which you have not got any rewards. Forget rewards, they have been targeting you, it seems to me. Your suggestions regarding the health care have been ignored and overlooked. The worst of all is, you do not sound happy with this job. Then what is the point of continuing with it? Get another job, I am sure you will find a good one, as you deserve much better position and treatment than this.
They will get their lessons in time. No one is forgiven, trust me! So, lady, move on. Please do not waste your valuable time with these people.. Job satisfaction is the most important thing; if it isn't there then there is no point in being there...
Good Luck my Friend!!!
@dloveli (4366)
• United States
4 Apr 10
Hey there Mr. Pearl. I dont mean to sound corny but when I read your response I started to cry. I literally felt a weight lift off me as if it was telling me that Im understood. I try so hard. My assistant, who relieves me fridays and sundays just had emergency surgery so I am covering those two days. Also the woman that was scheduled to take over tuesdays and thursdays quit before she even began. So Im working seven days aweek. Never a thank you. Nothing. Even the patient is starting to act entitled. I literally think they plan with each other what unnecessary, rotten things they can ask me to do. The problem with the bed is that the whole point of Freecycle is that you offer stuff that will be used by another family. Its supposed to be picked up quickly. Its been two weeks and she hasnt even contacted her. I feel so bad. Hopefully she will learn a lesson. She really needs to be punished. dl
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
2 Apr 10
I think it looks bad to the people you set up getting the bed from and that if the daughter was any kind of considerate she'd have looked at it at the very least, and sooner then she's been taken. For me, quick pick up would be two or three days not a whole week.
Also, shouldn't she be worrying about her mama with the condition her bed is in now?
Another case of selfishness for her I suppose.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (158739)
• Boise, Idaho
2 Apr 10
I have known people like this. It is co-dependency at its finest. As long as people keep stepping in she won't do anything. The poor guy could lay there and rot for all she cares. It is sad but alot of people are like this and it goes on and on because people that need to do the tough love thing won't.
@dloveli (4366)
• United States
3 Apr 10
I cant tell you how much she irritates me. She thinks everyone owes her something. The sad part is no one else wants to care for the mother so I have to put up with her. She is so ignorant! If you could see her, you would see that she is horrific. I am so proud of myself for holding my temper. I care about her mother. She really is nice.But I must say that she is a doozy sometimes as well. Its true what they say, the apple doesnt fall far from the tree. dl
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (158739)
• Boise, Idaho
3 Apr 10
I can hear your frustration, Dear. I thought I was the only one who used the word 'horrific'. Karma will get her!! Just make sure the mother is well taken care of. And your the woman to do it! Remember you are doing the right thing and the mother's daughter is a ruined piece of meat. Probably no help for her. Her mother should be treated with dignity. What is the status on the bed?
@Wizzywig (7847)
•
2 Apr 10
You did a great thing for both your patient and her daughter. Someone has been generous enough to offer the bed and the daughter cant even be ar$ed to sort out collecting it?!?
I bet there are plenty of other people who would love their mother to be so well cared for. I think it makes you look like someone who cares a darn site more for this patient than her daughter does!
I bet there are plenty of other people who would love their mother to be so well cared for. I think it makes you look like someone who cares a darn site more for this patient than her daughter does!1 person likes this
@Qaeyious (2357)
• United States
3 Apr 10
I'm not comfortable passing judgment on anyone who didn't have a chance to tell their side of the story. Was she taken for a ride acquiring a previous bed, one that was defective that caused some inconvenience (or danger? can a malfunctioning hospital bed be dangerous to a patient?) Does she have other things on her mind, trouble at work or other family matters? Are they able to transport it easily, or do they need professional help? Those are three things to consider off the top of my head, and I would not be surprised if there are many other possibilities.
You did your part; is that a usual thing to do, or is it just something extra you just do when you can?
@dawnald (85130)
• Shingle Springs, California
2 Apr 10
You're not wrong for wanting to help, but knowing how this person is, you probably would have been better off if you had asked first...
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
3 Apr 10
Hi dloveli! I think that was nice of you to go above and beyond
for this woman who is you patient! And I think that her daughter
is an ungreatful beotch! I was a medical assistant and always
went above and beyond for the patients just because I wanted
to! I wasn't looking for anything in return either and I can
tell you that I got "kicked in the azz" more often then not!
People are just ungreatful! I just hope that she doesn't let
her mother suffer because she is stupid! I think what you did
was very thoughtful, but unfortunately some people are just
azzholes and this woman's daughter is one!
@andy77e (5156)
• United States
3 Apr 10
It's a sad fact of humanity, that people do not appreciate things they do not have to work for.
If she had been shopping for a $2,000 for the last year and a half, and then discovered this, she would be ecstatic. But since it was effectively given to her on a silver platter, she's taking it for granted, as nearly all humans do.
I remember reading where a company that sold tickets to NFL games, would occasionally give away free tickets. They were amazed that out of all the tickets, from $35 cheap seats, to $1,600 season tickets, the tickets that always got the most complaints, the most whining from people, were the free tickets they gave away. It should be closer to the middle, I don't like the end seats, the sun is in my eyes, I can't see the score board as well, it shouldn't be on the upper deck, I was hoping for section B, blaw blaw blaw.
You did a good thing. She simply is too immature to appreciate it. Try and let it go.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
4 Apr 10
I think that your trying to help your patient is a great thing. What I don't undertand is why her family is so ungrateful for what you do for their mother. If I was offered a bed for free, then I would be there to pick it up in a heartbeat. I know how expensive medical equipment can be and to be able to save that kind of money, it shouldn't matter to the family rather it looks good or not because it is hospital equipment and none of it is made to look really pretty.
@msfrancisco9369 (10002)
• Boston, Massachusetts
3 Apr 10
Hi Dloveli,
That's something worth recognizing friend. the effort you made just to have that bed for your patient is admirable. well, the daughter must realize the value of time, appreciation and sensitivity. she seemed like no concern to her parent. it's been 19 hours since you posted this discussion, was there any development? was the bed picked up already? happy easter!
@epicure35 (2814)
• United States
4 Apr 10
I appreciate what you have tried to do for your patient and you are to be commended. I acknowledge your frustration as well. It would be best if this daughter were more appreciative and would move faster in this decision, but, I do understand her wishing to look at the bed. She should, of course, do so in a timely manner so as not to further inconvenience those giving her the bed so generously, and not to underappreciate your great generosity in doing this kindness and legwork for her. The onus is on her at this juncture and I'm sure everyone involved realizes this.
@mtdewgurl74 (18151)
• United States
3 Apr 10
Wow! You are such a kind, caring person, and this woman doesn't sound like she gives a hoot about her mom..she should want to get that bed as soon as possible. NO longer then 2-3 days later..I mean these people are doing something out of the goodness of their hearts..she should get that bed before they change their minds or someone else ends up with it.
@danishcanadian (28953)
• Canada
3 Apr 10
some people are just extremely ungreatful, and just don't give a damn. I can understand why you'd be upset, but don't let it make you look stupid. Just dust yourself off, and keep going. Don't give them the satisfaction of thinking they have affected your life in some negative way.
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
3 Apr 10
She should have said that she would be right over, and then looked it over to see if it would not give up that easily. My husband has a hospital bed, and it is all right except he needs a more comfortable mattress then the one that they provide because he has als and his muscles are going, so he really fells the mattress on his skin covered bones =- because he does not have that much padding. So even though the bed was a free $2000 bed, if it had the wrong mattress, or if it was a bit too large or too small, it would not work.
Oh and she should have been looking for one herself. If she had said "I have been looking for a hospital bed for my mother but do not know where to go," would that have made things a little easier?
@scarlet_woman (23465)
• United States
3 Apr 10
no,it doesn't make you look stupid.it's not your fault they're being difficult.
hell,with what it cost to rent one for my dad,i would have made you frickin dinner for one LOL
some people are just oblivious.
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
2 Apr 10
hi dloveli no you are not wrong at all, and no you do not look
stupid for trying to help them. but that mom sures sounds very
unappreciative of the free bed. as an ex nurses aide I know those
motorized hospital beds are really exp ensive and to get one free
you would think the woman would jump at the chance not get all
fussy like. She should have been looking if she did not trust your
judgment,glad she is not the patient.lol. no you really tried to
help and she should be grateful and go get the bed.
and go get the bed. @leasmom (101)
• Austria
2 Apr 10
I would make sure to distance myself from that daughter's behaviour so that these people offering up the bed are aware of your position in the whole thing. I would also make a comment to the daughter that the generous offer can only be made for another 3 days as there are a lot of people in need. Nicely but so she becomes aware of what she is doing, as some people just don't think!
