Who's the 'better half' in your life?
By Sparks
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
Regina, Saskatchewan
April 3, 2010 10:38pm CST
I grew into an adult firmly convinced, that despite the male dominated world I lived in, there was equality between the sexes, and one day those sexists would recognize it. Rock on Betty Friedan.
I raised my sons to believe that women were just as strong inside and out as men, and didn't have to sacrifice their femininity to prove it. But I still hear my mother's voice in my head saying 'Submit to your husband. He is your better half.' My poor mother! lol
Being a child of the sixties, on one hand Catholocism and the values of the fifties had me in a stranglehold of guilt and private girl's schools. On the other hand the world was changing at a rapid rate and my voracious reading kept me abreast of it all. Well that, and sneaking into the forbidden zone of Rock music, hippies and Woodstock. lol
Now in middle age I look back at my life and realize that I lived through the best social changes the world has ever seen, and came out reasonably intact in that, yes, I do remember the sixties. lol
My values are pure fifties now though, broadened and accepting of all kinds of lifestyles and belief systems. I am woman and I am strong. And as I have gotten older I have found that the morality I crave for myself is not so different as that of my parents. So in middle age, I got married again rather than 'live in sin' as I had in the past.
But is my 'better half' really my better half?
You be the judge.
You see he bakes. He cooks. He does laundry. He does dishes. He loves to garden. And if he ever saw the movie The Notebook, he would cry.
Right now he's working his butt off all hours in the oilfields, driving dangerous goods and living in our RV, home for short periods of time and then back to the world of truck drivers, big trucks and tough guys.
And he has a reputation. His pies are famous and much sought after. Recently he took up baking bread. His turkey dinners are first come, first served.
This weekend he is hosting some truck drivers, also away from home over the Easter Holiday, to a slow cooked roast beef dinner with apple pies and fresh baked individual bread loafs.
Me? I can't bake. I can cook the basics, hate doing laundry, LOVE my dishwasher and would rather spend time in my garden than doing housework. And yes, I cried watching The Notebook.
But in the final analysis, I am not the better half in my marriage. I can't drive an big rig! LOL
I've attached a picture of the pies and breads my hubs is serving tonight to his tough guy buddies. They will weep with pleasure, believe me............
So who's the better half in your life? Pets count. lol
8 people like this
21 responses
@palonghorn (5479)
• United States
4 Apr 10
I love that you added 'pets count' lol. As for me, I'm my own better half lol. After three divorces and a failed live-in relationship......it's just me and my pup. There are not too many men that do and enjoy doing all the things your husband does, for that you are lucky. On the other hand there are not too many men that can deal with what I do and love, I'm a wildland firefighter. They can't or don't understand my love for fighting wildland fires, the pager going off at all hours of the night and/or day, leaving in the middle of dinner, etc. I do have to say that my pup adds to my own better half, she has been through a lot with me including moving halfway across the country, just one of four moves she has put up with. lol She is my constant companion and thinks I'm a chef, lol.
3 people like this
@palonghorn (5479)
• United States
4 Apr 10
Thank you Hatley. I keep up with all of my brother and sister firefighters that give the ultimate sacrifice. I love what I do, and have since I first started. I have received all my training with the Texas Forestry Service, and I'm a member of a Volunteer Fire department also. You would have thought my ex would have understood, after all he was a state cop and loved what he did.
1 person likes this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
4 Apr 10
I was reading my responses here to my hubs a couple of hours ago, and he said to tell you palonghorn that he thinks you are so cool! What a great career you have. I envy you and so does he! LOL Wanna borrow him for a weekend? ROFL
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
4 Apr 10
wow palonghorn you do have my admiration. firefighters are our savoirs here in southern ca and so many have lost their lives in some of our most recent wildfires. sorry your man did not understand your love and your needs, he should have been darned proud of you I think.
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (63235)
• United States
4 Apr 10
Wow! Sounds like you won the lottery of life!
My roomie is a pretty good basic cook, but she's also got quite a temper.
The other roomie came to us feeding her dog baloney and hot dogs, she's not one to start a fight, but when she loses her temper, its well and truly lost for a while.
I'm not saying I DON'T have a temper, I do, but I try to avoid losing it and feel that most of the time I have been well and truly provoked to do so.
The cats are mostly good cats with some bad habits, and the dogs are... well dogs.
I guess that my dog, Cujo is the best one of the 3 dogs. Rygel is probably the best cat. And, while I like my roommate, I'm probably the most reasonable one here - not that I'm a great cook or anything, but I think I'm a stabilizing factor in the household.
3 people like this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
4 Apr 10
Hey Elic. Every household needs a stabilizing influence. In my mind, that makes you the better half.
2 people like this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
4 Apr 10
But shouldn't two halves make a whole dawn? ............maybe not. lol
I need to get me a cat! LOL
2 people like this
@celticeagle (159105)
• Boise, Idaho
5 Apr 10
I don't have a 'better half'. I live with my daughter right now and have a very on again, off again relationship with her because she is bi-polar and not fun to live with. She has two children and I try to help her with them. She has two cats. I am not close to either of them. I have not been in a relationship for fourteen years. I tried last year to meet some men and get something going but each one turned out to be a real disappointment. I am glad to hear of someone who seems to have found a keeper.
2 people like this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
12 Apr 10
You have my email, and I'm sorry I've not gotten back to some you have sent me. But I think of you often and if there's ever anything I can do, let me know. Even if it's just to listen.........
1 person likes this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
6 Apr 10
I don't envy you sweets living with bipolarism. It takes a strong person to be able to do that, so if love should come into your life again (and it so often does when we least expect it), I'm sure you'll be the better half. I'd say you already are if you are willing to stick it out with your daughter in the circumstances.............hugs to you sweets.
2 people like this
@celticeagle (159105)
• Boise, Idaho
7 Apr 10
Thank you, Dear! I really need to get out of here! I need to be in a calm environment for awhile. Get myself back together. I hope that I can soon. My daughter used to take to my help very well. Now she tells me to shut up and can be very abusive so I don't think my help is needed here anymore. I flip flop at times because I feel sorry for my grandson.
1 person likes this
@mcelhenney (481)
• United States
4 Apr 10
Well sparks I do not have a better half..I am alone now..My other half did not cook,wash dishes,clothes,clean house or do much of anything.LOL.
He may be your better half but you are his better half..
Blessings to both of you..
3 people like this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
4 Apr 10
I read these responses to my hubs earlier and he said to tell you, you sound like YOU were the better half in your life Martha. I agree..................Bright Blessings to you too.
1 person likes this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
6 Apr 10
And I can say for certain, she has become much the better half since she found you...........which rather makes you a better half too! LOL Two better halfs make a pretty perfect whole!
1 person likes this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
4 Apr 10
Hey Naisan, welcome to the lot.
And keep your heart open. Your better half will come along probably when you least expect it like mine did.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
4 Apr 10
Hello Spark!
Undoubtedly my wife is my better half in my life and she is
excellent and superb as my better half and am lucky to have
her in my life. She changed my life after my marriage......lol!
2 people like this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
6 Apr 10
Amazing how people change after they get married huh? LOL
You are a lucky man dpk, just as I am a very lucky woman.
Lucky us!
1 person likes this
@AnnieOakley1 (5596)
• Canada
6 Apr 10
Ahhhhh, a man that realizes the truth. That makes you a reaally good half of thr whole unit in my eyes.
@olivebranch56 (910)
• United States
6 Apr 10
Oh my Sparks, you do know how to make us think don't you? At one point in my life I would have said the same as you, my hubby. At that time I was working he wasn't so he did all the house work and most of the cooking. The thing was I didn't have ordinary jobs, I was in the restaurant business. Long hours and hard work. When I did have a day off, I would do the major cleaning in the house, mopping, through vacuuming etc. It seemed there was never enough hours, or enough of me to go around.
Now I am home full time, all the hard work finally paid off, yeah LOL! It destroyed my body to the point I am now on disability. Now I do all the things hubby used to do, and then some, because when I got sick and couldn't work, he quit doing the things he was doing, cooking, cleaning, laundry etc. Now he stays on the puter playing games, all day and most of the night. The only thing he does is get the kids up for school, and now he is complaining about that so I feel sure that will stop soon too.
So who is my better half? I would have to say....ME.
2 people like this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
6 Apr 10
I destroyed my back working in the restaurant business...........those concrete floors did me right in. So now I'm home too and can't work as I can't be on my feet for very long before my back starts screaming at me. But I still do all the housework and cooking and cleaning. When the hubs is home on his days off, he mostly sleeps and takes me to the city to shop for whatever we need. I dread to think really of what he'll do when he's no longer working in the oilfields. May just have to start a cottage industry business selling his pies and breads out of my kitchen window! LOL
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
4 Apr 10
hi sparky well really as my hubbywhile he was alive was the best
darned cook i would have to say he was my better half although healways said we were equal, and that also makes him the better half too.He
made the best beef stew I have ever eaten, and spaghetti and meat balls.he too was a keeper, and when he was partly
handicapped and could no longer work, I worked long hours at the library. the dear man had dinner ready for me when I came home, and who could fault a man like
that. oh we had our disagreements at times as most do, but we never went to bed mad, and we worked them all out. I was married to him for 33 years, I had been saying 43 but did the math and corrected my former
statements. nice discussion sparky nice. thanks.
handicapped and could no longer work, I worked long hours at the library. the dear man had dinner ready for me when I came home, and who could fault a man like
that. oh we had our disagreements at times as most do, but we never went to bed mad, and we worked them all out. I was married to him for 33 years, I had been saying 43 but did the math and corrected my former
statements. nice discussion sparky nice. thanks.2 people like this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
4 Apr 10
Hey sweets.............33 or 43, the fact that you can look back and remember the sweet moments is what counts. I'm glad you had a 'keeper' kind of hubs Hatley. They are rare.
Big hugs to you my friend.
1 person likes this
@AnnieOakley1 (5596)
• Canada
5 Apr 10
Oh, you liar, you.. 
YOU are the better half, and you bloody well know it. You are just being humble, as usual. Your house is so clean, you could lick off the floor at any given time of day or time of year. Your meals are gourmet compared to mine. Okay, that isn't saying as much as I would have liked. But you can make a fabulous meal out of almost nothing, in a pinch, with only pennies and make it nutritious, too, not just 'food'.
You can decorate a log cabin into looking like a fabulous mansion. You are always 'in style' when you go out, and never look 'all mussed up'.
You are always polite and generous to all you know or meet.
Do I have to go on?
YOU are the better half, and you bloody well know it. You are just being humble, as usual. Your house is so clean, you could lick off the floor at any given time of day or time of year. Your meals are gourmet compared to mine. Okay, that isn't saying as much as I would have liked. But you can make a fabulous meal out of almost nothing, in a pinch, with only pennies and make it nutritious, too, not just 'food'.
You can decorate a log cabin into looking like a fabulous mansion. You are always 'in style' when you go out, and never look 'all mussed up'.
You are always polite and generous to all you know or meet.
Do I have to go on?1 person likes this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
6 Apr 10
Well I'll take the compliments, and after all you know me best, so it all must be true right? Thank you.
But you know Annie, after I read this, I really had a think about how I've turned out, and how my marriage has turned around, and though I really do have give myself credit for seeing it through, the bulk of the praise has to go to my hubs. He went off the deep end for awhile, but when push came to shove and he realized I was serious about leaving him, he took the time to think about what that would mean to him instead of just fighting with me about it. And he took the time to listen to me and do something about his own behaviour when we finally talked things through. Not many men would go that far, or even recognize that they needed to change themself if they wanted things to improve. So I'm lucky. Very lucky. Mind you, we really make our own luck don't we? lol So I guess, yes, I must be the better half to get him to come around! ROFL
Thank you.
But you know Annie, after I read this, I really had a think about how I've turned out, and how my marriage has turned around, and though I really do have give myself credit for seeing it through, the bulk of the praise has to go to my hubs. He went off the deep end for awhile, but when push came to shove and he realized I was serious about leaving him, he took the time to think about what that would mean to him instead of just fighting with me about it. And he took the time to listen to me and do something about his own behaviour when we finally talked things through. Not many men would go that far, or even recognize that they needed to change themself if they wanted things to improve. So I'm lucky. Very lucky. Mind you, we really make our own luck don't we? lol So I guess, yes, I must be the better half to get him to come around! ROFL1 person likes this
@AnnieOakley1 (5596)
• Canada
6 Apr 10
Yep, he gets credit for finally coming around and realizing how good a catch you really are. But you get credit for making him come round. And you get extra credit for giving him so much credit. So, you are still the better half. He just recognizes it now. So, that gives him more credit, so I guess you're even, ok?
But I still love you best! 
1 person likes this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
6 Apr 10
LOL
And I still love you best too. Never doubt that............EVER!
1 person likes this
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
4 Apr 10
Hey Sparks! Now that was an absolutely beautiful description of
what I would call the "perfect half"! Your hubby sounds like
a wonderful man in every way! He is really someone quite special!
And, he cooks and bakes! What a find! My bf loves to clean,
but is not find, by no means! I don't think we will be together
much longer anyway! He has OCD when it comes to cleaning and
stresses me about it. That by no means is perfect. But, he is
a good guy and does errands and other stuff for me, but not
cooking! But, he just isn't head over heels in love and that
is a problem we both have! We are better friends, but that isn't
going to keep us together! I am so very happy for you though!
You are a wonderful person and deserve your happiness!
2 people like this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
6 Apr 10
You are so sweet to say so Opal. And yes, I deserve my happiness. It's certainly been a long time coming for both me and my hubs. We've worked hard, paid attention, and come out the other side stronger and more in tune. That is rare and quite wonderful I think.
I'm OCD a bit too when it comes to the state of my house, but I've learned to keep my frustrations to myself when the hubs is home and walking all over my clean floors in his dirty shoes. Drove me nuts the last time he was home, so I made him take me to the city and I bought him a new pair of slip on slippers that I keep just inside the door, so now when he comes in, he can slip off his shoes, put on his slippers and spare me the constant sweeping up after him. All our floors are hardwood, and require a lot of sweeping! LOL
I'm sorry too, to hear that you and your bf could be going your separate ways. Breaking up really is the hardest thing to do. But you have us here to see you through right? So lean on me, as the song says.........................big hugs to you sweetheart.
1 person likes this
@LadyMarissa (12148)
• United States
4 Apr 10
I am my better half!!! My better half (ME) was BEST when I had someone I loved deeply to share it with!!! My Mom always called my Dad her better half & my Dad always called my Mom his better half. I watched the two halves working as one. So, I think 2 better halves make one freaking GREAT whole!!! I watched my Mom's half give 100% & my Dad's half give 100% so when they made their whole they had 10,000%. With the life that I've had, I've learned to take care of ME first & Mom taught me to share the best part of me with the man that I love. Sadly, a lot of men take advantage of women willing to give of themselves. So, that's why I'm my better half!!! If and/or when I meet a man willing to give his better half, I will give him my better half!!!
My better half (ME) was BEST when I had someone I loved deeply to share it with!!! My Mom always called my Dad her better half & my Dad always called my Mom his better half. I watched the two halves working as one. So, I think 2 better halves make one freaking GREAT whole!!! I watched my Mom's half give 100% & my Dad's half give 100% so when they made their whole they had 10,000%. With the life that I've had, I've learned to take care of ME first & Mom taught me to share the best part of me with the man that I love. Sadly, a lot of men take advantage of women willing to give of themselves. So, that's why I'm my better half!!! If and/or when I meet a man willing to give his better half, I will give him my better half!!! 1 person likes this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
4 Apr 10
Hubs says to tell you that yes, YOU ARE YOUR BETTER HALF and he will never forget it now! LOL
You also had a smart mom who raised a smart daughter.
1 person likes this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
5 Apr 10
I do cherish him LadyM. It took awhile and few bic lighters to get where we are, but I wouldn't trade him for all the apple pies in the world. I'm very lucky and I know it.
2 people like this
@LadyMarissa (12148)
• United States
4 Apr 10
You also had a smart mom who raised a smart daughter....THANK YOU!!!
It appears that you married a SMART man & they come few & far between. So cherish him!!! 
2 people like this
@Ladyslipper (1327)
• Philippines
4 Apr 10
When I got married the first thing my Mom told me was to submit my self to my husband. It's not that I don't care what my Mom told me. It's just that I have my own beliefs when it comes to a relationship especially if it involves marrying. I went to College in a very liberal school, took up Journalism and Community Development. I was exposed to a lot of ideologies and it includes feminism.
I had subjects about Women and Development and was even a volunteer in a Women Helpdesk for almost a year. With this background you could say that I have very liberal point of view especially when it comes to Women's rights and development.
When I got married I had to adjust especially now that I already have a kid. My husband wants me to give up my career but I said no. It's good that he respected that. Just like your husband my better half also cooks and do household chores. Well, there's reallt not much to do at home because we have a hired helper.
I can say that we compliment each other. Between the two of us I have a stronger personality. I am not the sweet type of girl. My husband however, is so sweet and thoughtful. We go to the groceries together and we respect each other's individuality.
1 person likes this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
4 Apr 10
Sounds like you and I have a lot in common LadyS....(hope you don't mind the nickname, I'm rather bad for doing that. lol)
You stay strong. It will make you a happier person within yourself in the long run, believe me. You go girl!
1 person likes this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
12 Apr 10
You and me both............more that we have in common LadyS. Way cool!
@Ladyslipper (1327)
• Philippines
7 Apr 10
I don't mind at all. :) Yes. I'll stay strong. Thank you for that. I was raised that way by my Mom. I am a figther. Between me and my husband I'm the one who does not easily give up whenever there is a problem. He seems to be the come what may type of person. I am not. I am very optimistic while he has a tendency to become pessimistic sometimes.
I never give up and always believe their is a soultion to any problem. My Mom is like that. Between my Mom and Dad my Dad looks stronger physically but people don't know that the real strong one between them is my Mom. She is th fighter just like me...
2 people like this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
8 Apr 10
Ok
Gissi has a big mouth, needs to shout to get his point across, ignores when he does not want to listen, he messes up the bed after I made it, he throws Cushions on the Floor when he feels like it, he sleeps while I clean, then growls at me when the Hoover gets close to him hehehe, what is mine is his, what is his is his,
Ok well I just put up with it to have peace
and I love him dearly, so I am the better half because I can always get him back 
and I love him dearly, so I am the better half because I can always get him back @sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
9 Apr 10
Don't tell Gissi I said so, but I agree you are the better half. LOL
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
2 May 10
What a lovely feller you have!
My feller didnt cook but he loved me to make thing for his fellow workers.
and on special times all wives would get to gather and cook up a storm for all and we would eat outside so much fun with friends
Altho he didnt cook he did other things when he retired like the dishes I hate doing,
Would think up things to make to help things go more smoothly around the house he make I painted lol.
Now he is gone I do all the things again that I did befoe he retired share alot of it now with daughter. In the house she isnt aN OUTSIDE PERSON SO i DO THE GARDENING BUT SON IN LAW MOWS THE LAWN AND NOT MUCH ELSE.
oops soory about that hit wrong key again!
1 person likes this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
2 May 10
LOL, no worries about the keys you hit Lakota. You don't yell at people like I do! ROFL
I worry so about my hubs. He works so damn hard, and his borderline diabetes is a constant threat. I so want our house to get sold so we can move to a place where he can start his own business doing what he loves instead of working like a dog just to live. I don't know what I would do if anything happened to him............It was such a long road getting to where we are in our marriage.
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
4 Apr 10
Well , no pets lets me out since that's all i have. U sound like a mighty lucky lady to have a husband like u have. I'm so greatful u have him.
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
4 Apr 10
I'm glad I have him too Jo. But I'm starting to get a little worried about sharing so much of him with his trucker buddies! LOL
2 people like this
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
4 Apr 10
MEN,
, CAN'T LIVE W/THEM & CAN'T LIVE W/OUT THEM according to the old saying.
, CAN'T LIVE W/THEM & CAN'T LIVE W/OUT THEM according to the old saying.1 person likes this
@leenie50 (3992)
• United States
4 Apr 10
Well Daffy,
I have to say, I would be inclined to say I'm the better half but my heart prevents me from claiming that roll. I feel by claiming that roll, it would be denying his goodness.
I love the way you recognized your hubs for all that he does. It shows how much he truly cares about what he does and who he does it for.
For the wonderful person you are and all that you do, you balance each other as it should be. I like to believe that we all should balance each other out if we are truly a loving couple.
Love You,
Louie
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
4 Apr 10
You're too modest Louie. Shhhhhhhhh, don't tell anyone, but any woman knows it's really the wife/mother that is the better half no matter what our household skill levels. After all we're the ones that make our houses homes for our families right? Of course right! lol
1 person likes this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
6 Apr 10
Welcome to the lot jhencute.
I have to say however, that not everyone chooses to get married. And certainly the matter of 'roles' has become a blurred line these days. We can still be our own 'better half' even without a husband or wife. The trick is to know oneself thoroughly, and when the time comes to
join one's life with another, then the question of 'better half' actually becomes a moot point. The two halves become one functioning whole.
@tamarafireheart (15384)
•
4 Apr 10
Hi sparky,
I feel that I am the better half as I cook clean wash, look after my cats and fishes and look after the hub, he only works four days in a week and he works at the airport, not doing much there either, he hates working, rather be on his bicycle racing with his cycling group, his mother had spoiled him rotten and he thinks I can do the same for him but I have put my foot down, he has to do the laundry at least because I won't do it, he will be off from work starting Tuesay for two weeks!!! I need some sleeping pills lol!. love and hugs.
Tamara
xxxx
1 person likes this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
4 Apr 10
Passing Tamara the sleeping pills........................LOL
And it sounds like you are definitely the better half. My hubs agrees. lol
1 person likes this
@tamarafireheart (15384)
•
4 Apr 10
Hi sparky,
Oh thanks!
love and hugs.
Tamara
xxxx
love and hugs.
Tamara
xxxx2 people like this
@caliya (1170)
• Philippines
12 Apr 10
my better half is not perfect. he has flaws and shortcomings but i love him for he he is and he is slowly trying to be a better person. i am not perfect myself and i am also working towards becoming a better person for him but i guess what's important is that we love and understand each other.
1 person likes this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
12 Apr 10
It sounds to me a if you have a very balanced relationship caliya. Love will flourish as long as there is understanding, no matter how 'imperfect' people are. Good for you.;
