Can you help me?

I think he has to bring himself out and nobody can do this instead of him. Friends and family can only be a big support in this journey.

Hi there. This is not an easy question. My Mom had a lot of problems for years too. It was hard to help her get interested in other things. I helped her get interested in the computer. She learned fast. For 6 years she was playing games like Pogo. Writing emails, found some friends. Anyway, it all depends on your father really. Does he want to do something, or is he satisfied the way he is? Some people don't mind to be alone and watch TV. Others need friends and family to help them go outside and travel a little. You cannot make anyone lead a normal life. What is normal? I think what could help you to feel better about the situation, is maybe schedule one day in the week. Make a couple of hours free to make super (and eat super together with your father), then he will have something to look forward too on a regular basis. You will feel better too. Take care.

As much as I understand your need, desire and such to help him get outside etc..its really up to him...His depression is completely understandable in all honesty, I mean think about it..he's suffered from depression since childhood and the past 8 yrs his health has seriously declined, thats a very tough pill to swallow and naturally would just intensify his depression.... does he take medication for his depression? Has he seen a psychologist? Thats somethign i would consider BEFORE a physical therapist..The issue from what I can see is NOT a physical one as much as it is a mental one....Get him the mental help he needs THEN the physical...

Encourage your dad to share his feelings with you, since talking about depression makes things better, not worse. Once it starts to become clear that something is wrong, you can suggest that he seek professional help. Explain that asking for help does not mean he lack moral character. On the contrary, it takes both courage and wisdom to know that he needs help. Help him to understand that he has taken a big step, and encourage him.

Im sorry about your situation, first i dont have the medical capacity to help you out, but i believe i have a simple suggestion that i can share with you . First this is the time where in your dad needs most of your time.Make him feel loved, show your love to him tell him you love him and that your willin to share your time, and love just to make him feel better. Anybody whose being nursed by their loved ones heals faster than that of taken cared of other people. Showing your love and affection keeps her heart feeling good, knowing that the people he loves cares that much for him. Now is the time to return the favor and love that he showed you when your still young. You can make a huge impact in his condition right now, make it happen make your father feel good. I will be praying over his recovery and good day to you my friend

You need to be attentive to his Physiologic and Psychological needs, example of it is, always share your thoughts, your feelings, everything that you can share to him to show that he is not alone, he still can hear you, and feel you right there beside him. For physiologic need, give him a right care that is given to him when he was still not sick, give him a massage, or give him everything he wants. He needs to accept those things like physical immobility, and you can help him by showing him that he still have you by him side, no matter what happens. To help him bring him out to that situation, first you need to do is to help him accept all the facts that cannot be done like before he was not sick. Then when he already accept it, he will always think to be normal.

It can be quite hard for old people to adjust to the changes going on in their lives and their immediate response is to shut down. I have seen that in my mother who was diagnosed with cancer two years ago and at that time she did not want to go out or talk to people because she did not want people to pity her. What I did because I am the only taking care of her, is to constantly talk to her and try to boost her morale. We usually talked about the funny things that we did when I was young, those family bloopers that leave a mark and continue to be funny even now. Then I would just let her talk and tell stories of her childhood. It took a few months, but she was able to go out and talk to people afterwards. One advise I can give, having gone through something similar, is to not expect that they can go back to what we perceive as "normal" lives. My mom cannot do the things she used to, and we had to adjust to that and now she is lying on the couch most of the time, but that is already normal. I just let her be and when she feels like moving, thats when she does. But I keep my expectations low on what she can and cannot do.

Dear Naxous, First off, thank you for being the kind of person you are. You seem to be very caring, concerned for the ones you love, and willing to do whatever you can to help your father recover from depression. In general I guess yes, but does your father know HOW MUCH you care about and have a dream, yearning, and wish to have him a happy man again? Does eh know how much you miss the old dad? Make sure he knows how much you care for him. Since every case of every person/patient is different, such as type of person, depth and type of depression it is, and what his past and present is like, family and friends, it really differs on what works. I am not a doctor and can not say to do this or that. But here are the thoughts that come to me at the moment...because I had lived through some very difficult and painful years during my younger days. - EXERCISE: As many posted, yes, exercise is one of the strongest natural treatments and without those side effects meds can have. What type of old exercise did he enjoy doing? Playing tennis? Going on walks? Jogging? Playing soccer? Going to a local gym? However gradual, take him step by step. Tell you need to have his advice if really needs to hear a worthy reason....so must go on a walk to talk. Or you want to learn some tennis with him and start up in a beginner’s class. Or find some gatherings of senior sports groups. - MOVIES: Since it sounds like he is watching TV through the day, find some great movies hat are high spirited and uplifting. After that, then move to some comedy too, when he is in the stage of relating to comedy to make him laugh. - INTERNET: Does he use the internet? During some of my darkest hours, sine it was difficult to talk face to face with anybody, I searched online to find groups of depressed people. And many of those people were also searching for other ways on how they can overcome their depression, and talking to others like him were the only ones who could relate. (Though you have to be careful, of course that any of the sites are not dangerous and/or inflicting.) - TREATMENT/COUNSELING: You said he is on meds, and that he has also been seeing a therapist? For the meds, he may have to find the right one for him. I was tried on several different ones before finding the safest and best dosage. And for therapists or psychiatrists, I needed to go to several until i found the right one. - if you can’t get him out, have the outside come to him. Have some family friends, and some old, good time friends come to stop by briefly. No overwhelming long overnight stays of guests, but gradually. Friends popping by now and then, sometimes over for dinner over the weekends or just a snack. Or just tea, and casual talks. Or coming over to watch a movie with him. Maybe eventually taking him out to see a movie in the theaters. Okay, I could keep typing forever, but need to stop now. Sending warm thoughts over to you and your father.

It seemed to me that your Dad is not having a problem at all. If he wants to live the life he wants then give it to him. Give him all the things he need as long that it wont harm him it's okay. If he wont go out then let him be. If he just want to change channels to channels and not really watching anything on tv let him be. One day he will get tired of all that and eventually he will seek the outdoor life again. Sometimes you have to let the other people explore their own and become independent or else you will be wasting your time trying to force them to try things they really don't like doing. Just for a change...let him be. Have yourself and your other family member have a break. Maybe things will pick up on their own accord.

...Hi there Naxous, I am sorry to hear about your dad. Hope that he gets better soon. Garlic helps to reduce high blood pressure. If you can get your dad to exercise, even a little bit on a daily basis, it could help. Before he gets out of bed, ask him to do leg lifts and arm swings, moderately. Sit-ups in bed if he can. What this will do is to release what they call endorphins from his brain, they are called "happy hormones" and that is what they do, they make you feel better, and the more you exercise, the better you will began to feel. So help him to start exercising daily, if he stimulates the endorphins, his depression may leave him. Let's hope so. Good luck.

I can tell only what i have done to overcome from family and my illness, in addition to medical treatment i diverted myself towards spirtual path and followed path as per my spirtual guru, herewith his website http://www.cosmicgrace.org must follow above website And mail to below mentioned website to pray for ur father www.ashirwadindia.org/ If u like this way thier are many various types of healing energies which contributes for faster recovery and works as supplement to medical treatment and God only knows when miracle will happen, if interested be in touch as i can guide u various ways u can heal

hi mylot friends Believe me, my brother, I do not want to increase your distress I am my father So also has high cholesterol and live a half-hearted and always falls to the ground without a reason and his head painfully always great suffering they hoped to God that heals all our fathers and sweeten our days always happy. I advise you to pray for him, my brother.

It will be good or even best to re-introduce God into your dad's life. From the books I had read, why not encourage your dad to 'praise God' amid all the bad things that happened. i know it will be difficult but your dad's recovery might progress.GIVE IT A TRY!

You obviously love your father very much. My wish for you is that you will understand that there is only so much that you can do for your father. Depression is really difficult to deal with on both sides. I think the best you can do for your dad is to help him find a better psychiatrist. It seems his meds are not working well enough. The really difficult part of depression is that there is no one cure or remedy for everyone. He has to keep trying to find the chemical mix that works best for him. Maybe remind him of things he used to do for fun. Things you both did together for fun. Although I have not dealt with the deep depression is sounds that your father has, but I have suffered on and off for 34 years. Getting out for even the shortest of walks can make all the difference in the world. Have him get up and go for a walk with you. It doesn't have to be for long, or far. (8 minutes) Take care of yourself first. Good luck friend.

I agree with most responders especially those whom say to give never-ending love, attention and care. I think medication is also important most definitely and should never be skipped. I hope your dad will get well soon.. take care my friend.

Hii i was under depression once as well.I took homeopathy medicine and i does work great at me.I started feeling positive once again and i was motivated to go out and work and make friendship with people once again.My depression wasnt acute and i am young person as well.So i cant say if same thing will work effectively on your dad.But these medicines dont have any side effects and i think there nothing wrong in trying.

There is really no way that you would be able to help him if he doesn't have an interest in getting out and doing something. He might be more likely to get out of the house now and then if you and the rest of your family was to suggest outings for him on a regular basis. You need to realize that there are going to be a lot of times that he makes some excuse or another to not get out of the house, but once in a while he may agree to get out of the house and do something.

Hi ,Naxous . I am sorry to hear it . I am a chinese .I think that you can buy some chinese medicine. you can help your day by beat his limbs regularly.

Hi Naxous, my heart goes out to you. I too love my dad though at times I dont think he deserves it. :) I am scared for him. My father also has high blood pressure. So sorry to learn about depression, high cholesterol, and physical immobility. One thing I found that helps me realize how fortunate I am is another person's pain. To an extent, even I have restricted going outside. This is because it is very congested, and noisy outside. I like peace and quiet. That does not mean we have cut ourselves off completely. :) We have our social group. May be you could try and encourage him to mylot with you. Let him know that there are many who are suffering and yet they move on cheerfully. May be that will help. So sorry. Hope god helps you. Pray.

I can kind of relate to this, my dad was a very strong and proud man, always had his friends around him, throwing parties, going out having fun, and just generally a very talkative and friendly person until he opened a shop and after a few months he was having threats from people (competition) telling him to close otherwise they will make him leave! Obviously my dad said no, and the next day he was in hospital with both his knee caps broken and he was completely knocked back. And he completely changed... We moved away, so he doesn't see many of his friends anymore. He didn't go out the house, talk to anyone, and he just found himself playing on an online game to get away from the real world. And this lasted I would say 14 months....after trying everything with no luck I started to sit in the front room with him more frequent, then I signed up to the same game as him, slowly he started talking to me about the game, after a few weeks he was talking about little issues he had, but over time he slowly started to open up, he hasn't spoke of that night, or anything like that but it enabled him to come out of his shell by doing things he is currently involved in and are not trying to push him into moving on...if that makes sense? It took a while, but he started getting dependant on playing the game WITH ME and when I decided I didn't want to play it anymore after 1 week he stopped playing too... He then started going out, returned to work, and he now speaks about his issues rather than bottling them up. Maybe if your friends dad has put his all into something like my dad did then it may help him to try this, it definately worked for me and my dad. Hope he gets better soon all the same :)