mix marriage-is it unbearable?

@adequee (204)
Malaysia
April 9, 2010 4:40pm CST
my little brother marry a Muslim girl some year's ago,they are studying at the same college then,for me i can accept it as long as my sister in-law not attempt to change anything in my family,but my mother is a bit upset in the beginning.now they are divorced and my brother married again with the same faith,my mother is happy again but miss her grandson from the previous marriage.how do you react in this situation?
8 responses
@setsuna26 (2409)
• Philippines
10 Apr 10
I dont think that mix marriage is the only problem here,marriage is a whole new level of commitment not just like when your boyfriend and girlfriend status, when u get married there alot of stuff going on that you have to consider alot of adjusting to do that needs to be taken cared of yes it will be tough all the time, some even dont make it. But the differences such as religion belief etc is just one reason among this number of reasons that couples need to prepare themselves with.Once properly taken cared of theres no end to the adjustments period until the marriage ends.
@adequee (204)
• Malaysia
10 Apr 10
i agree with you setsuna..mariagges is still very much important today.if couples dont married then there a lot of trouble i think..
@setsuna26 (2409)
• Philippines
11 Apr 10
Yes i think its just a matter of adjustments for both parties and it wont be long both will enjoy each others company and will be happy together too, it should be a give and take relationship for each other too ;)
@madteaparty (2757)
• Japan
10 Apr 10
I don't understand what do you exactly think that is wrong about, I imagine a non-muslim, marrying a muslim. When I read mix I thought the discussion would be about races, but it is about religions, isn't it? I wouldn't be upset, as my family members can choose their companions, and they know what person is better for them, so I support them
@adequee (204)
• Malaysia
10 Apr 10
dont need to understand me,you have you own opinion,please elaborate more of your opinion.i live in strict comunity,many of us here still think religion and the way of life is important.Thanks by the way.(if your family member choose to marry a terorrist how do respond?)
• India
10 Apr 10
Marriages within the same faith have a purpose. One reason among many is to bring forth offspring who would grow better and bloom better. It is akin to a technique employed in grafting of roses. You can graft a scion of rose on a stock of rose. However, can you graft a rose scion on the stock of any other plant? As scion of a rose grafted on a proper stock can produce excellent quality of roses. Similarly, the marriages between people of different faith too can produce quality generation. Provided the male is a scion and female is the stock. The opposite can produce an undesirable result. Here I will give you an example from the bible. I will tell you how God had employed the method used in Grafting of roses to bring forth Jesus. Prophet Isaiah had said at 11:1 “And there shall come forth a rod out of the stem of Jesse, and a Branch shall grow out of his roots.” Jesse was the grandson of Boaz and Ruth and father of King David. Jesus was their descendant. Boaz was the scion, Ruth was the stock, and they together had produced Jesus. Boaz was the son of Judah born out of incestuous relationship between him and his daughter in-law Tamar: Genesis 38:6. Ruth was the Moabite, descendant of Lot born out of incestuous relationship between him and his own daughter. Genesis 20:30-37. Abraham's had precluded his descendants from marrying the descendants of Lot. Abraham had his male descendants circumcised, whereas Lots descendants were uncircumcised. However, at one point of time, the Abraham's descendant Boaz married Lot's descendant Ruth; and thus, Jesus was born. The faith of the couples joined in alliance is not important. The generation they bring forth will grow and bloom well or not is most important.
@adequee (204)
• Malaysia
10 Apr 10
but it still does a matter for many of us here in my country,our people tend to look for originality of religion if someone want to get married..why because it is a faith,and people dont simply turn back what they believe is true.
• Philippines
10 Apr 10
I think mix marriages can survive as long as the couple can really withstand the tests in their relationship pertaining to cultural beliefs and traditions.the couple should be open to understand and at least practice their partner's cultural beliefs.I've seen couples who are into mixed marriage and they are happy.it's all about acceptance,understanding,and appreciating you partner wherever part of the world s/he came from.
@adequee (204)
• Malaysia
10 Apr 10
i can and will accept your point of view coco.can you understand if your family member marry a rich wanted killer?if yes..i salute you.if no then it is the same if the mother cannot accept,they feel upset because what they teach that is true to them is being turned back.just my spark of my mind.no hard feeling eh;p
@peavey (16991)
• United States
10 Apr 10
If either one, or both, are serious about their religion, then I think it can cause a lot of trouble. Our personal beliefs are a part of who we are and in a marriage, we are to be together in our values and goals. It would be impossible for a Christian, say, and a Muslim to be at peace with each other if they were married. It's easier for friendships to develop, because you don't live with that person and don't need to create mutual goals or have mutual values.
@adequee (204)
• Malaysia
10 Apr 10
for me i still can tolerate in this matter,i'm not a strict faithful tough.
@tonyllenium (6260)
• Italy
9 Apr 10
i think marriage between people have different origins and culture is always easy so everytime i heard it normally they will finish in a few years!!I think that when you strat a relationship like that it is not difficult may eb differences can soar when you live daily with the person and so even many differences or reason of contrast can soar as well!!
• United States
9 Apr 10
Inner-cultural marriages (I believe this is the PC term) are never easy, and I say this because sometimes the beliefs or the religions can be so different. Now, my brother was raised, like myself, to be Catholic, and his girlfriend was Jewish and Catholic (her mother was Jewish and her father was Catholic). My brother told her that he would become whatever faith she wanted, and he could have easily became Jewish. Some of my ancestors had already been Jewish and some of my family is, so problems there. My brother already had a Jewish name, he had circumcised, and he could easily learn other languages. Religion is only a big deal if people make it one. I used to be a Catholic, but then became Agnostic. My boyfriend is Agnostic, so this works out. Neither of us likes organized religion, and we do our best to respect people's faiths even if we disagree with their views. I don't think that race or religion should ever matter in a relationship. If the two people really love each other, then they will somehow make everything work out. Sounds to me like your brother's ex and your family made a big deal out of it.
@snoopyfan (1315)
• United States
9 Apr 10
Is that the reason they divorced or one of the reasons? I haven't been in this situation. I would think before a couple gets married and they have different religions they would have to decide together if they have kids which religion they want to raise them in. If the in-laws are upset honestly it isn't their business. It is between the man and the wife. They don't have to please every relative. I am Catholic and my friend is a deacon there he is one of nine children and they all follow different religions, are all married and are a close group. It is very sad the grandson is able to enjoy being with his whole family. This off topic but the children of divorce are always the true victims. It would be nice if both sides can make a better effort and try and get along. Just because your brother divorced he is still always going to be interacting with his child and the mother of the child.