The brother of my ex is courting me

Philippines
April 13, 2010 9:08am CST
What should I do? Well my ex and I have no communications any longer but his brother suddenly appeared coz he said he wants me to his girlfriend. I feel awkward about this and at the same time I can't help but think that it is his brother's hidden motive or what. I don't know. Help me please.
3 people like this
11 responses
• Philippines
13 Apr 10
What happened between you and her brother have already passed, (or is it not?) it's a different relationship if ever. It may be awkward but it's totally different, you might be wary of what people will say but the reality is what ever you do they always have something to say. If the guy really likes you, why not give him a chance. On the hidden motive thing, I doubt it. No offense... Honestly, you may be feeling awkward because the matter between you and your ex might not be over at least in your terms.
• Philippines
13 Apr 10
We practically broke up because I need to focus on my studies. That was my reason which he(ex) didn't accept. He studies at Adamson while I study at Cabuyao, Laguna. I just can't handle long distance relationships. Another is that he is an MVP Player and a mythical five as well which makes him famous to girls. I do trust him, but it's the girls that I can't trust.
• Philippines
14 Apr 10
I just want to help you dissect your problem here. Don't get me wrong, he didn't accept your reason because it isn't rational. Your reason is well unreasonable. Somebody who really loves you won't accept such reason. The mere fact that he didn't accept your reason is enough for us to go to the conclusion that he still has feelings towards you. Right? Now back to the topic, Mr. brother here may or may not be "controlled" by your ex. If he is controlled by your ex, I guess, your ex which really loves you based on our analysis above just wants to rebuild your relationship. -- A definite no! Using somebody to get close to you is like playing with your feelings. I advise no!! On the contrary, Mr. Brother may also be sincere, if that's the fact you are depriving yourself a chance to have a wonderful relationship with a guy who had strong feelings towards you. You wouldn't really know unless you take the risk. That's life and love -- all about taking risks. On determining whether Mr. Brother is just playing a decoy role between you and your ex, the burden of proof is always on the accuser. It's arguable and it's very judgmental. We don't know his real motives unless we try to get to know the person. I advise you to give him a chance to prove his love (or whatever) but don't expect much, don't allow yourself to be lured instantly.
• Philippines
19 Apr 10
Thanks Louie but I've decided not to give him a chance at all. Anyways, I have no feelings for him. Another is that I don't wanna get involved with their family any more.
@yresh12 (3217)
• Philippines
14 Apr 10
Hello Saranggola! You might not now the brother that well and he might have some hidden agenda behind it. Just be very careful and be careful of your heart. It's so easy to fall but It's so hard to rise from the fall. I hope you would be able to figure what his real intentions are. I think you should also be honest with him because he really might be doing something bad.
• Philippines
19 Apr 10
Thanks yresh. Yeah it's true that it's easy to fall. I've been through that stage. Now I learned and I believe I am strong in facing such things. Happy mylotting
@yresh12 (3217)
• Philippines
19 Apr 10
I hope you are and I wish you luck in your love life!!
@galileo2008 (1146)
• Philippines
19 Apr 10
Hi. I would personally think that as much as possible, and as early as now, you have to not let him court you. I would think that's inappropriate since you've had a past relationship with his brother, and as a woman, I can sense that there must be something going on. I am not accusing him of anything, since you've mentioned that he suddenly popped up, and courted you. Well, in fairness to him, maybe he thinks he really likes you from the start, but because his brother and you had a relationship, he cannot just take you away from him. And now that you're single and free, he was thinking that there's no more hindrances to your relationship (if ever there will be). Just my opinion though.
• Philippines
19 Apr 10
lol. true enough. I just found out that long before his brother and I became friends,not yet lovers, he already had feelings for me.
• Philippines
18 Apr 10
just follow what your heart say..
• Philippines
19 Apr 10
And I now believe it's a no.
• India
15 Apr 10
hello dear i think you should avoid this totally , it may not be good for you, but take your own decision.. Thanks for this nice post, cheers God bless you. Prof
• Philippines
19 Apr 10
Hi professor! Lol it's like you were teaching me lessons. I'll look into that and see what will happen. Thanks
@pratheep87 (1228)
• India
13 Apr 10
Yes cleanly its shows your ex boy friends motive behind this act. Just slipped those guys and make them run.
• Philippines
14 Apr 10
Lately I just found out that they're having conflict. I saw it on our common friend's facebook. There was an application called social interview I forgot the exact question but I saw there that she was trying to make them make peace with one another since it already lasted for 3 months as she said there.
@kquiming (2998)
• Philippines
13 Apr 10
Trust your instincts on this one. Seems to me that your gut is giving you bad signs. Unless you think this guy is worth the risk, you may go for him, but be extra careful. I don't know, just that I have a feeling this isn't going to turn out great.
• Philippines
19 Apr 10
Haha. Thanks kquiming. Prevention is better than cure right? LOL. I wish my decision of not letting him pursue his feelings for me is right.
@sweechi (157)
• Philippines
13 Apr 10
For me, i think it would be best if you dont let him court you and all. It's okay to be friends with your ex's family but going into a relationship with one it is quite not good to look at. It is like a respect to yourself and to your ex. Well that's for me
• Philippines
13 Apr 10
Yeah. I already turned him down in a very nice way and told him to stop but he kept on insisting. What should I do now?
@jaiho2009 (38989)
• Philippines
13 Apr 11
You can never think what's the motive behind. Or maybe your ex brother really loves you but not given a chance to tell you since his younger brother is your bf. And now that you've broken with his younger brother he was given a chance to tell you about his hidden love... or...it could be a hidden motive from both of them (they're brother aint?) so..you should be careful not to hurt yourself...or anyone.
@eLsMarie (4348)
• Philippines
20 Apr 10
If you find things to be uneasy or complicated, don't communicate with his brother. If you feel like your ex has a negative motive then better stay cautious or else you will suffer the consequences. Of all the ladies out there, why do you think he chose you?
@ravinskye (8242)
• United States
13 Apr 10
I think it's better just to stay away from that situation. Even if his motives are pure and he really does like you and want to be your boyfriend, it's kind of going against the guy code and the brother code. You don't date your friends ex's and you definitely don't date ex's of your brothers. Your ex's family probably wouldn't approve of the relationship and that would just make things awkward. I think it would just be better for you to tell him no and find someone else.