How do you deal with a difficult co-worker?
By tamark
@tamark (27)
Philippines
April 22, 2010 4:29am CST
I was snobbed the first time I met this co-worker. Perhaps she was preoccupied that moment on work or personal matters, so I dismissed that incident. Being the pleasant person that I am (at least that's how I see myself), I have made efforts to befriend her. True enough, we became good friends because of the proximity of our work areas. But when I look around the environment, I still see her antagonize co-workers which lead others to conclude she acts like she's the boss or that she only thinks of her security in the company. I admire her dedication to her work. Lately, I think she ignores me. This thought I still dismiss considering she has her own personal matters to attend to. She is really difficult to please....and she has issues. Should I be affected?
2 people like this
13 responses
@marmar75 (168)
• Australia
23 Apr 10
I've had a difficult co-worker too once. She was selfish, snobbish, and doesn't care about others but herself. At first I was really annoyed and wanted to quit because of her. But later, I just realized that I should just play along with her personality. If she brags about something, we just play along and praise her. If she's annoyed, we just keep quiet. But when she's out, we talk about her. Hahaha.
@jhoni_lie (33)
• Indonesia
25 Apr 10
in hipnotherapy,we learn the method that called "chunk up" and "chunk down".when we deal with people..we can use that...find the generalitation of the problem( chunk down) and take it to spesific problem ( chunk down)
we will win any deal...
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
23 Apr 10
it would be very difficult to handle a co worker who seemed to have vowed to make your life miserable at work! believe me i have worked with people like that and they do drive me nuts! i think the best way really is to stay away, not mind this person and see if he will at least calm down a bit and focus more on work instead on harassing people. ha ha i actually have dealt with one who likes to make accusations and false comments behind your back - you just have to confront these kind of people coz they apparently enjoy being talked about as much as they make you the talk of the "town" for some malicious stuffs.
@aileen2008 (838)
• Philippines
9 Jun 10
I have experienced that chiyosan. It is actually my boss who made false accusations behind my back, making me look like a stupid food in the eyes of the board of directors. What should I do? Change jobs?
@my_january (967)
• Philippines
22 Apr 10
In my opinion, you shouldn't be affected. Get affected, you just waste your time, as I am sure, she doesn't really mind you. You know, we go to work to make a living, sometimes there is nothing personal. But you must make sure that you keep good working relationship with everyone. Also make work environment pleasant as it affects work. Making friends is okay, and if you befriend some of your colleagues that's okay and that's a bonus if they accept the friendship. So why get affected. I am just sorry for your co-worker, if other's see you as difficult, it gives you a not so good feeling. I wonder how she feels... hmmm
@tamark (27)
• Philippines
22 Apr 10
I guess we're on the same track because that's exactly what I did. I didn't mind her actuation and just when on with work. After all, I came to this office to work and not make friends although gaining friendships is, as you said, an added bonus. Life and work goes on.
@hunterkim_07 (458)
• Philippines
22 Apr 10
Well, a huge part of me says that you should not be affected with her attitude as long as she does not affect your work performance negatively. There are really people who have that kind of personality but most of the time they are good at work. One of my office-mates have this bi-polar personality. When his negative side attacks, I just pretend that I don't see nor hear him. But if I have professional business with him, I just approach him in a business-like manner. Just leave them at that. We all have our own issues and might as well let's respect one another.
@Beautyfactor (1512)
•
22 Apr 10
You shouldn't let this affect you at all. Just think that this is who she is and that is her character. Just take her as she comes. As you say she my have some difficult personl issues to deal with that are affecting her moods and charactersitics.
If I were you I would just get on with your job and leave your co worker to be as she is. Keep being pleasant towards her but don't let it have an impact on your life or work.
@tamark (27)
• Philippines
22 Apr 10
Yes I really shouldn't be affected but she has a way with things and that she will really let you know that she doesn't approve of the way you handle things, or that is she is having a bad day, then she makes everyone have one too. I simply dismiss these situations to avoid confrontation.
@aileen2008 (838)
• Philippines
9 Jun 10
I have that kind of officemate. I can't seem to stand her but I need to because of work and because I want to think that I am a matured person.
Unlike you, I am neither pleasant nor unkind. I am actually indifferent. Good for you that you befriend her, because if I am in that position I will not befriend her.
@JAYMAR777 (840)
• Philippines
22 Apr 10
The reality is that in every thing there is always two sides of the coin. I think your co-worker has good sides also. What I usually do with difficult co-workers is to look at the their good sides and live with it. I usually just ignore their different attitude since I am not perfect as well. But I must admit it really could sometimes affect the workplace, but then again their true value will be assessed better when they are finally gone.
@tamark (27)
• Philippines
22 Apr 10
You're right there when you said we should weigh situations since a coin has two side. I have always seen her as a good worker. She is competitive but sometimes that competitiveness of hers becomes sort of a way for her to belittle other co-workers. They would usually comment that she acts as if nobody should be better than her because she is the best. I tell them to give her some consideration and to concentrate on their own work rather than concentrate on her. Thanks for the advice!
@salonga (27775)
• Philippines
23 Apr 10
It is hard to deal with such kind of person especially if she is a co-worker just like in your case. You meet and interact with her everyday of your life and you can't really avoid being affected by her bad behavior. Nevertheless, from the looks of it the woman is doing the same kind of treatment to everyone else in the office. I think you can't do anything to change her but you can always help yourself to be not so affected. You know what sooner or later, that woman will reap what she is sowing.
In my husband's workplace, there used to be a Manager who acted as if he was the owner of the company. He was so boastful and was like he knew all about the whole operation when he was then still a newbie. He was even much stricter than those who are ahead and much superior than him. He even was slandering other managers and was trying to win the heart of the owner by feeding wrong information to the owner. For a time the owner trusted him and so he became more boastful and acting like god. Everyone in the office hated him but they were quite afraid because of the connection he was able to build with the owner of the company. But God is not sleeping. One day, the owner of the company discovered all his wrong doings and he did not waste his time. He terminated the boastful Manager, right there and there. You know what? He was like a dog who was driven away by his angry master and no one in the office took pity on him. The whole office was rejoicing! It was like celebration of "Independence Day".
@piya84 (2581)
• India
23 Apr 10
Hiii tamark
well you know these types of people are there in every offices.YOu just cant do anything with it.Dont complain to manger about her because she must know it already.Manager is not doing anything does indicate that she is not interested in taking trouble so there is no point in complaining.
Keep your performance good and be mangers and boss good book.So in future if any dispute arise then you must have support of someone.You can make a ea with other co workers so they will be there to support you if she start bullying you.
@Professor2010 (20162)
• India
6 Jul 10
Hi welcome to mylot
I have taught in colleges, have handled coworkers, they are professors, asst professors and office staff, we have to proceed as per guide lines set by education department..
Thanks for sharing.
Welcome always. 
Cheers.
Professor
Cheers.
Professor
