Do You Feel Interogated In MyLot?

Singapore
April 25, 2010 12:06am CST
I don't know about you but of late, I've been feeling all sorts with some members' post and I just could not help RANTING here. For the better good sakes, this is a discussion and before you guys or gals want to have an opinion from others, please state whatever is on yours. And for everyone's sake, STOP interrogating here. Here are some really classic annoying samples: [i]Have you ever ran out of budget? After all your obligations how much have you left in your purse? Did you ever regret of something you bought which you found unnecessary and you think that you should have keep the money and not to left your purse almost empty? I'm curious to know "What was the smallest amount left in your purse/wallet? What lesson you have learned when you realized that your wallet/purse almost dries up?[/i] Another one: [i]How do you differentiate dreams and goals are they same ? what do you do to realise your dreams[/i] And another: [i]How lucky you are with your partners??? Or I should ask this way...ARE YOU BLESSED WITH A GOOD PARTNERS? Do you consider yourself lucky having him/her. What makes you feel and think you are LUCKY,Maybe he/she is possessing the quality of man/woman you are looking/dreaming or longing for ..Or you don't feel like lucky in this aspect of life? What are the qualities he/she had that makes YOU LUCKY being his/her partner?[/i] Another: [i]can you Imitate and be Successful? I have come to a person that said, " YOu can't become successful by imitating others. Success is achieved through creativity and ingenuity." I wanna hear many views regarding this concerns.... Happy MyLoooting, and May God Bless Us All, Always...[/i] And there are just many more, but for the sake of this discussion I am siting a few here. First of all, I just felt that these are not discussions but a form of invasive questioning or in other words some form of interrogation. It does not tell the posters' opinion and direction of the discussion. Also, I do not see their frame of mind as per perspective. Isn't this a discussion in the first place? So, I just cannot be bothered to respond to them and no offense, I just don't feel that they are discussions at all, to begin with. I know that some of you here may beg to differ but are these post really a discussion to you? IMHO, I just do not think so or see it that way!
3 people like this
20 responses
@saphrina (31552)
• South Africa
25 Apr 10
I really beg to differ. If i don't like a discussion, i will not respond to it. You could have done exactly the same. As all of us here at mylot, we all struggle to post a good discussion. No one can really be better than the other. Next time, don't respond to it, then it won't feel like you are beign interogated. TATA.
3 people like this
• Singapore
26 Apr 10
saphrina, Let me say here, that the main purpose for this discussion is really about seeking improvements not only to the site as a whole but for these members. The guidelines here clearly states that we should never start a discussion unless we have something concrete to say and if you beg to differ then refer to it again. I must admit my title's tone does have a harsh connotation but there's really nothing mean or downright badgering. Just up the level of playing field, state a clear mind and point of view to start a question - leading to a discussion. Besides, the posts had asked and touched on something really personal, the least the starter could do would be to state what they had actually done. Is that really too much to ask for? I thank you for your contribution and time. Lest you worry that I did not respond to other discussions because of these posts, then let me assure you that I haven't. TaTa...
@saphrina (31552)
• South Africa
26 Apr 10
Yes sweetie, your title's tone was harsh and you have to remember that here are very sensitive people around. We have to consider everybodies feelings, even if we do not always agree on anything. Try to be more subtle next time. Thanx. TATA.
@saphrina (31552)
• South Africa
27 Apr 10
Sweetie, you start your discussions and respond to others as ususal, okay. Don't let anyone make you think differently about that. Enjoy every single second here. TATA.
• Spain
25 Apr 10
Hello, Not everyone here are good English Users. They can not exactly say what they want to say. I am a Teaboy and I don't write like a journalistic style. I am glad anyway that there are Good users who could teach and give us better idea on writing. In my opinion anyway, creating such interrogatory discussions would direct the readers to answer it. How could someone get an answers without a question..."??"
1 person likes this
@rain28 (50)
• Canada
25 Apr 10
LOL.I'm with you .
• Singapore
25 Apr 10
Kumar1232009, Let me make it easier for you and ask this: What do you think a poster should do to make a discussion more cordial and forthcoming? I can assure you that the answers do not really need the eloquence of a journalist to achieve it. I am sure a Teaboy like yourself can do a better job than those members who posted erroneously. So, think along now.
• Spain
25 Apr 10
ahihihi... thanks
@eurekafemme (5877)
• Philippines
26 Apr 10
Hello, Skysuccess.:-) I wonder if I have posted discussion that you found as offensive as the ones you've stated here.:-) Well, I don't bother to respond to discussions which I find offensive or somewhat evasive.Such discussions need not to be answered after all and I can't simply imagine how or what's the flow of the responses will gonna be. I just simply ignore them rather than disclosing the tiniest detail of my wallet's valuables. LOL
• Singapore
26 Apr 10
eurekafemme, On the contrary, I just find them callous or short of finesse for reciprocity. Also, please be assured that I am NOT or never talking about your posts. I hope you are not getting both the wrong ideas and impressions here. Frankly, the original posters' contribution on his/her side of the wallet would definitely help diffuse any invasive perception from the other parties like you and me. I am sure you can see the clarity and agree with me. Anyway, I just hope that they will eventually realize this and up the quality level as far as discussions here, are concern. Take care and have a nice day.
• Philippines
30 Apr 10
No, not at all, Skysuccess. As a matter of fact, I do agree with you:-) Now that you have posted and made them aware of it (hopefully, they have read your post, too) perhaps they will do better next time. This is such a great eye opener, Skysuccess. Enjoy your day, too.:-)
• United States
26 Apr 10
I do have to say that to me, some of the discussions, just have a way of being annoying those in particular, because to me they are a bit to personal. Especially the one about getting lucky, is it anyone's freaken business? That is your business, and not theirs. I think if I saw one that was posted like that my response would be yeah I am feeling lucky, are you feeling lucky punk? are you?
1 person likes this
• Singapore
26 Apr 10
pmbhuntress09, I am glad that a new member like yourself had the astute understanding and levelheadedness here. I am really with you here, where the posts are being personal and the least courtesy the original poster could extend, would actually be to state his/her mind or point of views and then ask the question. But, I suppose that's not how certain people see it here. Anyway, I really appreciate your response and hope that you will have a great time here. Take care.
• United States
27 Apr 10
I actually have to admit I am not a new member, My old account pmbhuntress, I had way over 500 posts. But where I was sick I gave up on Mylot for a good 6 months then came back just added 09 to my name. Since I had a new life to live.
@___SKY___ (541)
• Hong Kong
25 Apr 10
IMAO! Maybe you are the only who feels this way... Anything is possible to discuss. Well, i agreed what Mrln said. If you don't like to answer and you feel interogated, we have a freedom to choose what we want right? They reply because they can relate to the topic and not feel interogated lol. One thing more, they reply to the topic because they want to earn also. Mylot have an eye to see what is relevant and not relevant right? Don't put in your mine that you feel interogated because it's not LOL. Do what is good for you and not others toinks!!! Happy Lotting..
1 person likes this
• Singapore
26 Apr 10
binggaling, Allow me to direct you to the link below where it clearly states: Don't: Start a new discussion unless you have something of substance to say. Read more: http://www.mylot.com/o/guidelines.aspx
• Singapore
25 Apr 10
___SKY___, I think like Mrln, the both of you are not looking at this as a whole. Let me assure you that the people who posts the above "questions" in these discussion site have been at it with ALL their posts and believe me ALL of their posts are actually questions. Where it will have their signature endings - where they would want to hear our views. But, where is theirs in the first place or when members like you respond? Try it for all 40 posts and then, try telling me your feelings and after taste. Sometimes, you need to try to be in others shoes (mine) to know or understand. I just do not feel that it is wrong to ask the other party to up their game plan. You be happy here, too.
• Hong Kong
25 Apr 10
Lol. Whatever if it is question or what, I don't care, as long as I can relate and know the topic all about, Whoever the starter, I will show my views or advice. Looking as a whole? I did. I told you, mylot have an eyes, they know what is relevant and not. Be focus on your own and let others do what they want. IMAO..
@Harold_ks (1673)
25 Apr 10
Everyone of us here has his/her own ideas and opinion. Everyone of us has different thinking. As long as we are not being offensive to others, I cannot see any problem with it. I think respect should always prevail on our emotions. If we have a problem with a particular discussion, we should just ignore it. There’s a lot of discussions to answer so we should just focus on those topics under our interests. We are posting here to enjoy and to earn and as long as we receive responses, we should be happy. We have the freedom to post anything here, as long as it’s not violating the guidelines of myLot and as long as we have no intention to hurt or being offensive others. With the topics you have mentioned, I cannot see any problem with it, maybe the starter just wanted to know the opinion of people. Again, I should say, respect is really important here. So we should just avoid offensive posts. May you have a peaceful day. Happy myLotting!
1 person likes this
• Singapore
25 Apr 10
Harold_ks, Let me assure you and the responder upstairs that I respect every members' ideas and opinions but there is not one idea or opinion on those posts that I have mentioned here. Both of you are relatively new here and I just don't think you've actually encountered all these posts (I just cited some) are all having the similar interrogating trend. I understand everyone here has a right and a freedom to do whatever, however, these whatevers if they affect the quality and outcome of the site, then I suppose I would be seeking that the other end up their game plan. I just do not think that this is too much to ask for. Or, is it to you?
• Singapore
25 Apr 10
Frankly, I do not see criticism to up the level of playing field anything close to attacking or being offensive. It is very deplorable in my opinion for people to keep asking on and on without any contribution. But I can see that it differs with your end. So, I will let this matter rest as to each and his own, as far as you and I are concern.
@Harold_ks (1673)
25 Apr 10
As long as I have noticed, those topics you have mentioned doesn't attack or being offensive to anyone. You said you have respect to every posts, ideas and opinions but you are attacking them, you are being offensive to them. Don't you know what will be the starters of those topics will feel if they will read this topic of yours? Don't you know what will be the impact to them? You are being negative and offensive with this topic of yours. You are not showing respect. Those topics were successful, it received a lot of responses and I have noticed that the starters also responded to every responses he/she has gotten. Those are a big contributions to myLot since there's a lot of interactions happened. And those topics were not harmful to anyone, they are friendly discussions. So my advice to you is avoid attacking of being offensive to any post as long as they are not attacking you. If you don't feel those discussions, just ignore them and find another or make your own. Again, please respect any post. You are being unfair.
@tonyllenium (6252)
• Italy
25 Apr 10
mmh not really!!such a many people open discussions on various purposes so in some cases some members can use direct question to be clear about the topics!!So in some cases even direct question as yours has different perspective when you enter and read the related post from the user..
1 person likes this
• Singapore
26 Apr 10
tonyllenium, Honestly, I am for it if these are rare one or two occasions here but if ALL of the posts are as such, then I would not really see this as any form of discussion any more. Fair enough, this is an open forum and freedom to do whatever, however, let's not forget the guidelines here where it is clear that no one should posts a discussion without anything concrete to say. On some occasions, we may like to seek an answer or two but to be swayed by the answers is just pathetic to me. It is just plain patronizing. I just hope that this awareness post would bring up some level of quality at the end of the day here. Thank you for your time and levelheadedness here.
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
25 Apr 10
hi skysuccess, to begin with this is a free forum and people can make discussions anyway they wish as long as they are not breaking mylot discussions rules. I agree a lot of them border on impertinence as I really do not like to be asked how much money is in my purse? But I think the majority of us at one time or another have made a discussions out of a question. I think I show a situation my self and just ask my fellow mylotters their take on this, this is about the only type of question I usually ask. for one thing some of what you have mentioned border on breaking mylot rules as they are poll type questions.I agree some of them sound like a teacher in a classroom. I can only say just bypass those as a lot of us,myself included, make our discussions a bit differently.As for opinions I do believe I always state my own to start with then ask for views from my fellow mylot friends. No a questionnaire is not really a discussion. You c an ask a question if its relevant to your discussion but not a polling thing or a game.I hope at least I have not been guilty of what you are talking about. for one thing I do not make fifteen discussions a day.
1 person likes this
• Singapore
26 Apr 10
Dear Hatley, Unbeknown to you, I am actually quite your fan and I am exactly for as what you have quoted: "I always state my own to start with then ask for views from my fellow mylot friends. " I am actually asking for this in this discussion and I suppose people just take that I am being narrow-minded and downright offensive. Honestly, I had followed your posts and I had never seen you start a discussion without stating your own views and opinions - NEVER! And, I just appreciate that little finesse there, which is really missing amongst some original posters. I can stomach a rare occasion or two but for the entire period is just not my take and hopefully not their make. Hatley, once again keep up the good works and I really appreciate members like yourself here. Take care and have a nice day.
@jambi462 (4576)
• United States
25 Apr 10
A lot of members on here are just trying to post as many things as possible so that way they can get paid faster or earn more. A lot of people don't realize that bad quality short responses or discussions are kind of a waste of time and that you will make pretty good gains each day from being active. I have noticed that a lot of people are starting discussions that are just questions but they're only looking for responses. Can't really blame anyone for that but what you are telling them is great advice. I've noticed that the more I actually dedicate my time into my responses the more my earnings will benefit. So if we can just get it through to users that intelligent discussions will earn you more money then just asking stupid questions such as what is your favorite tv show, favorite color, etc.
1 person likes this
• Pakistan
25 Apr 10
Agree !, as im really new to MyLot and will defitely take sme time to know whats going on here. Though i'm an experienced internet user and also a web master, just curious that how ppl respond here. Any way, lets see :).
@sulynsi (2671)
• Canada
25 Apr 10
I noticed that a lot of short question style posts get a lot of responses. I think pandaeyes mentioned that it just may be easier for folks whose English is limited to answer a short question than to struggle through a lot of writing. I had never thought of that before. However, I have to agree with your point, skysuccess, as the posts I enjoy and respond to tend to state a perspective then, pose a question to get feedback. They don't simply question and wait for answers. I think some may misunderstand what you mean by interrogate. Though technically it means to question, it has more of the implication of grilling or asking question after question without paying any attention to what's being said. Interrogation has a negative connotation.
1 person likes this
• Singapore
26 Apr 10
sulynsi, Let me just say that I am really grateful and appreciative of your astute understanding and levelheadedness here. I really thought that this is absent or thrown out the door already. Honestly, I had intentionally misspell interrogate in my title and had actually wanted to catch some astute attention which really had been lacking as you can see above. Also, I am actually prepared to be misunderstood and stretch my threshold here. Unlike yourself here (and a few others), people just lack that astute understanding and levelheadedness; and start to generalize. However, I do hope that this has caught their attention and has brought another level to the quality of discussions here. Thank you for your understanding and you have my admiration here.
@Iriene88 (5343)
• Malaysia
30 Apr 10
Dear skysuccess, It was quite awhile since I last log in to myLot. Wow, you are really observant! Yes, some of the above mentioned topics do seems like 'interogation'. However, if the topics is interesting, I think it might attract some discussion. I have not personally come across those topics. I will normally skip some if it sounds 'interogative'. Cheers and have a great weekend
• Singapore
30 Apr 10
Hi Iriene88, I am glad to see your post here. I hope that all's well with you as I really had not been seeing much of you lately. I am glad that you are wary of this now and hope to see more of your posts in the near future. Take care.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
27 Apr 10
I don't personally mind to respond to discussions like the ones that you've mentioned some of the time. However, I do like it when the person that has started the discussion will tell you why they feel the way that they do or why they make the decisions that they make when they are in the same situation. In those kinds of cases I really feel like the discussion is harmless. When it feels to me like someone is trying to harvest information I am not comfortable with the discussions at all.
1 person likes this
• Singapore
30 Apr 10
dorannmwin, My exact sentiments here and I am just not comfortable like you when I feel that someone is just trying to harvest information than having a mind of their own on the topic they posted. I hope that they will realize what they had done and improve their posts in the future. Take care and thank you for your contribution here.
@rain28 (50)
• Canada
25 Apr 10
If the one started the discussions doesn't state he/his views she/he just need opinion and not a debate,a freedom to make his/her discussions its her style,it maybe not your style why mind to that topic?If If the starter give her views to me in what I responded I think its enough.No violated rules the topic will stay positive,if you think interrogated to your side "LEAVE THE TOPIC BEHIND" explore in the sky to make you up high.LOL.And one more thing I don't think i've been interrogated because I never violate the rule.hekhekhek.
1 person likes this
• Singapore
25 Apr 10
rain28, I just do not believe that not one of you members here do not have a mind, view or opinion to begin with. So, what is wrong with putting forth an idea or mind or view or opinion to begin with? I can understand for 1 or 2 posts of this nature but for ALL of it? I just say that there's something wrong somewhere. Hope there's clarity here.
@pandaeyes (2065)
25 Apr 10
I don't really mind them because sometimes the posters are limited in their English. Questions do seem to be responded to more than observations but it is nice when the poster actually puts their own point of view somewhere in the original post.Often if you go to new discussions ,you do see a lot of abrupt questions all in a row. Its easy to just pick out a few interesting ones though as so many people post every day.
1 person likes this
• Singapore
25 Apr 10
pandaeyes, Honestly, I do not think or rather have a single doubt about their aptitude as far as English language is concern. I just do not think that they are that far off and if you have seen these posts I am sure you will agree with me. To me, discussions are like 2 way traffic but when I see these posts, they are just one way.
@p_vadla (1685)
• India
1 May 10
It shouldn't be forgotten that your very discussion is on such and such topics. You made a very good posting with so much word count that you yourself thought of making good earnings out of discussing those topics which you thought are ridiculous. Stop being hypocrite. Leave everyone to their views. If something is not of liking to myLotters it will be taken care of properly by the system not by being double standard.
• Singapore
1 May 10
p_vadla, Just what is your problem? I wonder if you actually put your gray matter to use when you said in your own words here and I quote: "Leave everyone to their views." So, stop hiding behind that screen of yours when you make insidious remarks. I will spare you some of my expletives here for you and do thank me for it. So, back off, if this is not to your liking.
@lampar (7584)
• United States
1 Aug 11
It is impossible for mylot memebr to "interrogate" you, they are not police detentives, you are not lock up in a privte room in police station, you are free to log off and log in in Mylot at your own convenience, your fear is unfounded and unnecessary.
@lampar (7584)
• United States
1 Aug 11
It is impossible for mylot memebr to "interrogate" you, they are not police detentives, you are not lock up in a privte room in police station, you are free to log off and log in in Mylot at your own convenience, your fear is unfounded and unnecessary.
• Philippines
25 Apr 10
There are a lot of discussions like that here. The thing is, i don't respond to discussions that seems invasive. Besides, those discussions are gonna be deleted cuz it violates the rules and regulations.
1 person likes this
• Singapore
25 Apr 10
frontvisions101, I am glad that you do notice it and I must add here that though some may violate the TOS here, they just do not make the discussion anything near a quality level. You can also see that these people just do not contribute anything to the discussion as a whole but are closer to making surveys. So, IMO they are not discussions!
@machivado (528)
• Indonesia
25 Apr 10
Well, I don't think it's a problem as long as it's based on curiousity. To share what we feel to others is always an optional for us, so I don't think it's wise to rant about them.. So far, I've met discussion based just for small talk and share opinion, and often people ask for suggestion which is a nice thing.. AS for your another question, my answer is this: life is all about chances, but it's very important to feel that we control our own lives. Success can form in many ways that we don't realize it as long as we keep trying. In the end, our creativity will come out even if we imitate at first as long as we keep trying and contemplate our actions. Have a good day
• Singapore
26 Apr 10
machivado, There's an ole adage where it says "Nothing ventured; Nothing gained!" So, I would conclude here with the words of one William Pollard where he once said: “Without change there is no innovation, creativity, or incentive for improvement. Those who initiate change will have a better opportunity to manage the change that is inevitable.” Live and let live but an unexamined life is not worth living. (Socrates)
• United States
25 Apr 10
Do you want to discuss this matter to whom you want to changed his/her way of making topics?If so go straight to her/him personally and what the earth you started this topic are you having a grudge to people whose having such topic in forms of interrogations? If you feel being interrogated then don't mind about those discussions. There is called freedom each and everyone of us here and not to mind others business unless they are out of the rules and regulations of the site and of course they will do something disgraceful to you personally. I don't think there is a problem in this kind of questions as you can see there is just an opinions.There almost an interrogative in here and if the starter of the topic will give her/his views in the side of his/her respondent I think that is just fine. Be sport man.Keep up the good works in you to make your performance better.
1 person likes this
• Singapore
25 Apr 10
Mrln_Trrs, Well, in the name of freedom and the sake of having better discussion, I feel that I should say something which is going towards the wrong direction. Perhaps, you have not seen these posts yet, but let me assure you that you will have the same after taste when you are there. FYI, the posters' are ALL questions without a single contribution of his or her opinions and/or trend of thoughts. Such questioning to me, is not a discussion but a question and answer session or open ended surveys. Do try them out and have a look at the replies you get and then tell me to be a sport. BTW, I am looking out for myLot to get better, with my freedom here.