Grow up and take care of your responsiblities
By Bella75
@nixxi76 (3191)
Canada
May 2, 2010 12:12pm CST
This is going to be a complete rant dicussion as I was sitting here brewing up thoughts in my mind about a selected couple of people who have the worst parenting skills.
(See this is why I love mylot because I can express feelings)
I know this girl at work and all she talks about is her useless husband how she tries to isolate her! She does nothing about the situation to help herself. She has said that she's going to leave him and even at one point he went to his parents for a couple of days. I'm not saying anything is wrong with that but as long as they work things out and things get better BUT.... things haven't gotten better and it seems like they've made a turn for the worse. I've told her too many times that they need time to spend time apart because if they rush this then next week is going to be the same all over again.
She's so tied down and has no "girl time" the reason for this is because everytime she leaves for a few minutes or a couple of hours, her hubby is punching holes in the walls because he takes his frustration out that way because of the children. She's scared to leave them alone with him and I don't blame her.
I'm not sure what her reason for this is but she works nightshifts with me every shift and she leaves her eleven year old alone with the kids in the morning after he goes to work. They don't find anyone to watch the kids in the mornings until she gets home. So they are alone from 6:00am until 7:30am sometimes 8am. This is not legal. A child has to be 12 yrs old to even be home alone and this is only for a couple of hours. They are trying to escape paying a babysitter in my views. My son is turning ten and I would never do that to him because anything can happen in a matter of minutes!
She received a visit from Child and Family Services the other day because her oldest girl told the school that her mom slapped her in the face, leaves her alone with the other children and feels like an outcast. I feel somewhat happy that the girl finally told some authority figure because it was just a matter of time. Although I had to act quite shocked when my co-worker was telling me all of this.. I wasn't suprised at all in the least. And yet... there she was making excuses up for her useless husband saying that he's got enough on his plate????? I just can't even begin to understand this at all. She said she might have to quit work because of this and I think it's good even though she's going to have a hard time with her mortgage and kids financially.
I really think she needs to get her priorities straight and realize that family comes first.
What do you think?
3 people like this
7 responses
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
4 May 10
Of course family comes first but now days it takes both parents to work to pay for food clothing schooling and what ever .
But if it comes for her to quit that might have to be and maybe her go to a sheltre for battered childrena nd wives. for awhile to get away from him and then try working it all out at a later date
2 people like this
@nixxi76 (3191)
• Canada
4 May 10
It seems that she does more than her husband and it's pretty bad when she can't trust her own husband whom she had the two younger kids with to leave them with him. I say she should leave him or kick his useless butt out!
Thanks for your reply
Happy Mylotting
@laglen (19759)
• United States
3 May 10
I agree, she needs to rethink priorities. I quit working out side jobs so that I could be here for my daughter. Here in my state there is no law on the age a child can be left alone. My daughter is 16 and still might spend 20 minutes alone and not very often! She does not like to be alone and we have plenty of family to help, two Grandmas, 2 Grandpas, and aunts and uncles. I am very fortunate in this. But I have been telling her that she will eventually have to be alone (at college). Anyway, regarding yor coworker. Some people need drama in their lives. Nothing you say or do will help. I would just ignore it. Atleast her daughter is stepping up.
2 people like this
@nixxi76 (3191)
• Canada
3 May 10
I'm soooo glad her daughter stepped up and told the Child and Family Services worker what was really happening in their home. Honestly I wished she would quit working so I wouldn't have to listen to her drama. I should call her a drama queen 
Another thing I forgot to mention in my discussion was that night she was telling me about her daughter telling the worker this she also said that her son who is five years old tells her that he hates her, her other daughter who is three years old hits her and swears at her and her husbands daughter misbehaves when she comes over and she's about seven years old.
I've seen the way she is in front of those children and there's no language barrier. It's terrible and then she will act all shocked when her three year old has a potty mouth?
Thanks for your reply
Happy Mylotting
Another thing I forgot to mention in my discussion was that night she was telling me about her daughter telling the worker this she also said that her son who is five years old tells her that he hates her, her other daughter who is three years old hits her and swears at her and her husbands daughter misbehaves when she comes over and she's about seven years old.
I've seen the way she is in front of those children and there's no language barrier. It's terrible and then she will act all shocked when her three year old has a potty mouth?
Thanks for your reply
Happy Mylotting1 person likes this
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
4 May 10
It really sounds like she is in a dangerous situation. It sounds as if her husband expects alot out of the family, or they pay the consequences. She needs to leave, but I am sure she feels she is backed against the wall. She needs to sit down and realize what it is doing to her and the kids. Hopefully she will open her eyes and see this with CPS stepping in, before she loses them forever. Maybe they will see what is happening and give her some direction of getting out of the situation.
1 person likes this
@nixxi76 (3191)
• Canada
4 May 10
I'm glad they stepped in and I believe everything happens for a reason. I don't think she's going to quit. Last night at work the first thing she mentioned is how sick the kids were and how the youngest threw up on their dad and he couldn't handle that. He was yelling for her to help him out. All she did was laugh about it. There's been sooo many incidents where she's had to take those kids to the hospital for accidents happening in the home and I'm suprised if they don't know who she is just by her walking into emergency.
She's said a few times already that she wanted to leave her but usually that happens when she's interested in another man on facebook. Once that's worn off then she's back in love with her husband.
Sometimes I think maybe it's her that's causing him to go nuts? Or perhaps his insecurity has overcome him and he's had enough?
Thanks for your reply
Happy Mylotting
@Hatley (163772)
• Garden Grove, California
3 May 10
hi nicci76 I think she was lucky children's protective services was not on her case earlier she seems to break every child care rule in the book. she sounds like a kid playing house not an adult taking responsibility to look after her children in the right way. She should have kicked her worthless husband out and filed for child support. a divorce is the best idea right now and then hiring a baby sitter thats qualified to care for her children, and coming back to work.
1 person likes this
@nixxi76 (3191)
• Canada
4 May 10
She got a visit from Child protective services last week and they advised her to either quit her job or find proper childcare for her children. I'm not sure what ever came about with that and I don't really want to ask her because I don't want to hear about it anymore
@ladym33 (10978)
• United States
2 May 10
You are right an 11 year old should not be in charge of their brothers and sisters. Personally I don't think an 11 year old should even be left alone. I didn't leave my kids home until they were 12 and never for more than 10 or 15 minutes I certainly would not have left them in charge of thier younger brother. My oldest is now 13 and my middle child is 12 and I am just getting used to leaving them alone for more than 20 minutes. I usually don't leave them alone for more than a half hour, and I have only left my 6 year old with my oldest once for about 5 minutes. I am really over protective though, my kids are really good kids and I am sure that my daughter could manage watching her younger brother, but I am just scared about it. I could not imagine leaving all my kids to take care of their selves in the morning for nearly 2 hours. She needs to change her work hours or find someway to work from home or something. I honestly don't know how people can do that with their kids.
2 people like this
@nixxi76 (3191)
• Canada
3 May 10
I only have one child and it wouldn't matter to me how convienent it would seem to be able to not pay for a babysitter and be able to leave him alone at home, I would never do that unless he could number one prove to me that he is responsible. Number two.. be the legal age.
I think age is a number and being eleven and twelve is a huge difference in mentality. It's great to hear that you're a responsible parent and I sure wished that there were more out there!
Thanks for your reply
Happy Mylotting
1 person likes this
@piya84 (2580)
• India
3 May 10
I think many young parents lack skills of parenting and overall handling fiances.Many people just dont think ,talk with partner and plan how to raise kids and how to give them time.Being financially stable and having some free time in hand is very important for for raising kids.Many dont understand this and then get mess up.
@Andyvil (793)
• Philippines
3 May 10
I have to agree with you on that Nixxi. I think a lot of parents shouldn't bring a child to this world if they don't know how to raise them or if they are not ready to raise one. I really despise those parents who blame there children because of the difficulties they are having in raising them. It is not the child's fault why they were born in the first place. It is the actions of there parents why they were made to experience the things that no children should ever experience. I truly believe that children are blessings given to us and should be taken cared of with utmost care. I also believe that it is a sin to bring a child into this world only to make them suffer.
1 person likes this
@nixxi76 (3191)
• Canada
3 May 10
My co-worker and her husband sure have a lot of apologies to make to God then. I think God should step in and control who has babies and who doesn't. There are real true loving parents who sit and wait on a list waiting to adopt a child. Then there are people like this who have kids and don't deserve them. My brother's ex is another one who doesn't deserve children because she just neglects them and they are so messed up. I've had to take guardianship of my neice and I will never do that again because all that did was cause me grief from my brother and his ex (her mother) You try helping people out and you get pooped on in return!
Thanks for your reply
Happy Mylotting
1 person likes this
