A matter of love - Love is a matter of difference between .....
By kiran8
@kiran8 (15348)
Mangalore, India
May 5, 2010 12:33am CST
Just for argument sake, when 2 people are in love what are the feelings they share and what draws them closer to each other...I would say a mutual trust and a feeling of closeness and the desire to share everything with the person, try to be with the person as much as one can - many couple go out of their way to be with each other even when there are adverse conditions..The other day a few of us friends had this discussion when one of my friends came up with her own grouses ..
On the other hand take a case where 2 people are in love ,but one of the person is all the time and constantly making excuses about how and why he/she cannot call , message or keep in touch for days together ,and/or meet each other for months together , and forgets all the important days in the other person's life, can it be called love? or is this normal in such a relationship?
What do you all think friends? please add your views here
1 person likes this
3 responses
@kalav56 (11464)
• India
6 May 10
"a mutual trust and a feeling of closeness and the desire to share everything with the person, try to be with the person as much as one can "--This is love Kiran!-According to me this is it.I agree with you totally here.BUT,
Kiran! If we expect one person to remember the important dates of the partner's, then we may be in for a disappointment.[at least in our generation]To confess something-- I never tOOK the risk of finding this out and used to keep announcing that our wedding day is arriving shortly and have told this to my sister also once when she was disappointed with her husband for his having forgotten it. I told her"Don't allow him to forget it!
"
She also gave a valid point that our lives revolve round our husband's ; while on the other hand they have so many other things on their minds.
Getting disappointed with these things is bound to happen.THat is why my strategy keeps me peaceful.[it is a sort of defence]Similarly, if I am away I would keep telephoning my husband and enquiring about him wihtout expecting him to do so.Otherwise I would make a prior request to him asking him to phone me on a particular day.Does all this sound strange to you? I have become so used to all this and though I tell him there is not one ounce of romance in his system, I know there is total trust and love between us. THis has been the case not today Kiran [with us being middle aged] but for the past 30 years]
"
She also gave a valid point that our lives revolve round our husband's ; while on the other hand they have so many other things on their minds.
Getting disappointed with these things is bound to happen.THat is why my strategy keeps me peaceful.[it is a sort of defence]Similarly, if I am away I would keep telephoning my husband and enquiring about him wihtout expecting him to do so.Otherwise I would make a prior request to him asking him to phone me on a particular day.Does all this sound strange to you? I have become so used to all this and though I tell him there is not one ounce of romance in his system, I know there is total trust and love between us. THis has been the case not today Kiran [with us being middle aged] but for the past 30 years]
@kalav56 (11464)
• India
7 May 10
Thaanks Kiran for the nice words.
Indian women and men are like this.And this is irrespective of achievements, [individual]financial muscle, brain power , you name the lot. In our days, the divorce percentage rates was lower.Marriage is a compromise but when there is mutual give and take by way of less expectations , then it becomes a longlasting very durable sort of compromise. About our lives 'revolving round our husbands' -- when this is no longer the case, our disappointments become less .THis is why I firmly believe that women must have a productive , satisfying activity for themselves.THis not only commands them respect but also help maintain their own inner peace.It is very hot an dhumid here an dwith my servant being hospitalised currrently, I am enjoying the humidity in its full swing.
@kiran8 (15348)
• Mangalore, India
7 May 10
Kala, you always come up with some new dimensions 
. I guess it is a kind of compromise that most Indian women do, just so that they may not get hurt.It is a kind of defence mechanism and why not? if it makes them happy.I feel that most Indian men get used to the idea too, that they have so much to do and the woman with her life revolving around the husband , has no other go but to wait patiently for them.Thanks a lot for your response kala...how is the heat there? it is awful here with the clouds gathering everyday but not a single drop of rain coming our way...have a nice day
. I guess it is a kind of compromise that most Indian women do, just so that they may not get hurt.It is a kind of defence mechanism and why not? if it makes them happy.I feel that most Indian men get used to the idea too, that they have so much to do and the woman with her life revolving around the husband , has no other go but to wait patiently for them.Thanks a lot for your response kala...how is the heat there? it is awful here with the clouds gathering everyday but not a single drop of rain coming our way...have a nice day@kiran8 (15348)
• Mangalore, India
7 May 10
You are absolutely right kala, I too have noticed that most men respect wives who have a career and are financially independent.Most Housewives are always on the receiving end in every way possible.Compromise is a way of life and we all have to do it all the time , and it is the case with everyone, so no issues there as long is it is positive....So kala enjoy the humidity in its full swing, I am doing the same here, now waiting and praying for some welcome showers 
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (58679)
• Delhi, India
5 May 10
Hi Kiran!
When I read the first part, I thought you are going to write about 'theory of love', however, the second part of your post was not about that. It was about a grouse by one of your friends. You see the simple answer to your friend's position/question is that if a partner is showing disrespectful attitude and showing his/her carelessness towards the other, it cannot be said that s/he loves the other one. Showing respect, carefulness and concern for the other partner are very important for bonding of a relationship.
, however, the second part of your post was not about that. It was about a grouse by one of your friends. You see the simple answer to your friend's position/question is that if a partner is showing disrespectful attitude and showing his/her carelessness towards the other, it cannot be said that s/he loves the other one. Showing respect, carefulness and concern for the other partner are very important for bonding of a relationship.
@kiran8 (15348)
• Mangalore, India
7 May 10
LOL deepak me and theory of love? I agree with your views, no relationship can survive without a certain amount of care and concern and of course respect and love....Neglect and disrespect in the long run does affect the very foundation of a relationship.Thanks a lot for your response and have a great day Deepak AC too seems to have closed its doors to us like Helium right?
I agree with your views, no relationship can survive without a certain amount of care and concern and of course respect and love....Neglect and disrespect in the long run does affect the very foundation of a relationship.Thanks a lot for your response and have a great day Deepak AC too seems to have closed its doors to us like Helium right?@dpk262006 (58679)
• Delhi, India
8 May 10
Yeah Kiran, AC has also apparently closing its doors for us Indians. Someone here suggested a new site, which will pay us, if we contribute and it is for Indians. Here is a link of one of my poems, which I posted there. Would request you to have a look at it and you may also join the site.
http://indianblogworld.com/2010/05/flowers-in-my-garden/
A good relationship always flourish only when sharing and caring is there.
@dawnald (85137)
• Shingle Springs, California
5 May 10
Attraction, trust, like, respect, something in common...
