Teens and facebook
By RachelleNH
@RachelleNH (1396)
United States
May 6, 2010 1:07pm CST
My daughter is 13 and just joined facebook. A lot of her friends are still 12. There are tons of them on there-she actually let me look at her wall the other day-but mainly because she commented on a friend's post and this crazy mom started attacking my daughter. I tried to report her but none of these nasty comments showed up on her wall (why's that?) and she had blocked me first. Her profile has all the privacy features enabled so this wouldn't happen. When we blocked her, she started using her son's profile to keep it going. Honestly-totally crazy. I don't even know why she butted into their conversation anyways-it was just girl talk about their plans-but she had to add her 2 cents and say my daughter is immature and needs discipline.
My question is this: are adults (being those that are 18 and over) allowed to contact minors-especially those who aren't friends with them and have friends only viewing?
2 people like this
10 responses
@climber7565 (2579)
• United States
6 May 10
Ah some people are just so drama hungry eh? I can't believe you have had to deal with such additional issues. Sounds like that woman has mental troubles and actually why assume is actually the girls mom? What 12 or 13 year old is ever matured as compared to any one older? Now on a facebook direction? hmmm I would recommend thoroughly reviewing privacy settings, contacting FB admin about this too.
Note: sorry for the super delayed response. What was the outcome on this?
@RachelleNH (1396)
• United States
7 May 10
No kidding...this woman butted into a conversation between two kids...strange to me! We've blocked both her and her "son" so if any more pops up-I'm going to do something big..I can't find any contact info for facebook administration.
So far so good though-one day of peace! :)
@climber7565 (2579)
• United States
7 May 10
Oh I am glad to learn you have had a day of peace. Its no wonder some times parents chose to home school kids, but still even amongst higher costly social circles there are those who love to bring troubles to others. I wonder if this link may bring you leads and help some: http://www.facebook.com/help/?safety=parents
@donyun247 (90)
• Singapore
7 May 10
I'm no FB fan but from the way I see it. They're not supposed to be able to do that. But for me, I think it is best not to join FB until your daughter is considered as an adult. Since I think after seeing various examples for what happen in my country. Lots of teenagers are becoming addicted and instead of becoming a social networking it has lots of effects like jealousy, envy, a place to comment sarcastic things, mocking other people, showing off. Of course there are positive sides too, but somehow it has changed.
2 people like this
@katsmeow1213 (28717)
• United States
6 May 10
Yes they can. I actually have an opposite problem. The daughter of a girl I just became friends with is pestering me. This child is maybe 9, but the child is claiming she's 13. She keeps telling me to add her as a friend, and I don't want to. If she's this much of a pest when she isn't on my friend's list, I can't imagine how bad she'd be if she were!! Plus I don't even know her mom that well, we used to go to school together when we were young, but haven't had contact in like 20 years. I ended up having to block the little girl.
I can go to the profile's of my friend's kids, and see whatever they have that isn't private without adding them. If there's a link to send them a message I'd be capable of doing that.. but I personally respect their privacy and leave them alone. The only kids I want on my friend's list are my own kids, and only 1 of my kids has Facebook.
2 people like this
@RachelleNH (1396)
• United States
6 May 10
Wow, that's crazy! I won't add any children-even my daughter's friends. But she doesn't hide anything from me so I don't need to. Maybe those kids don't have the privacy features enabled. I went under that and set everything to only friends can view. It says "she only shares certain information with people she knows. do you know her? add her as a friend" That's all you can see except that she's a girl and the photo-which is a cat-because I didn't want this kinda stuff happening. It doesn't even show her age. She's very scared of strangers and for a good reason I think!1 person likes this
@zedrick_11 (931)
• Philippines
7 May 10
ahm..
i think you can also create another account to report her..
or just ignore her if you dont want any fight..
2 people like this
@RachelleNH (1396)
• United States
7 May 10
No way..I want her to leave my daughter alone. I think what she's doing in a way is like stalking her...when we blocked her, she started using her son's account to bash my daughter. Crazy drama. I'm just going to block her...if facebook will do nothing else-at least I have that.
@RachelleNH (1396)
• United States
7 May 10
so it's legal to bully someone-making nasty comments on a friend's wall toward them? She's saying stuff like "she needs her butt beat; grow up; you're very immature" I think that's got to be some form of bullying. I mean that kind of stuff can drive young people to the grave-they're very sensitive.
@redshadow266 (72)
• Netherlands
6 May 10
random adults no
parents i think yes
this cause its proven that teenagers have the most influence on each other compared to adults and what not
then again the other mom shouldnt go so beserker mode either
i mean what example gives that
and i mean their 13 and 12 how bad could it be
make a print screen of the discussion and email it to the moderators to prove it
2 people like this
@RachelleNH (1396)
• United States
6 May 10
This mom is a friend of my daughter's friend. She's reading all her posts on her wall and then stalking my daughter. I think you've given me an excellent tip that I overlooked. I'm going to do just that-print all this and show it to facebook. I mean you worry that people aren't who they say there are-and you never know-that's why I made use of those privacy features-to protect her from people like this woman.
1 person likes this
@hollowheart (1572)
• India
12 May 10
Hi Rachelle. Its really sad about what u and ur sweet little daughter faced. Tere is actually no boundaries on facebook. Anyone can add anyone as friend and read their posts on the walls. A lot of bad words are also used at times. But then it was really bad of the other woman to have abused ur child.
I am against it and ur daughter is no ways immatured or an indiciplined kid. She is very sweet, cute and defiitely a lovely daughter.
@cryw0lf (1302)
• United Kingdom
7 May 10
She does have right if your daughter is influencing her son in a bad way, but attacking is not the answer. She should have contacted you first to sit down and discuss. However if the conversation was completely harmless then this mother just needs to butt out.
@eileenleyva (27562)
• Philippines
7 May 10
If you have evidence, that could be grounds to child abuse.
@jasmeena (846)
• Indonesia
7 May 10
I think you must monitor your daughter`s online activity, as here, some time ago, many teenage girls ran away after they met strange men on FB. Tell them what she can do and mustn`t do on Facebook, like don`t give nasty comments or comment too much about someone`s status or picture whatsoever.Don`t trust people you know from FB, especially, if your daughter doesn`t know them.My sister is really strict about this to her 11- year-old son.
1 person likes this
@RachelleNH (1396)
• United States
7 May 10
Oh believe me-I do. My daughter has a private profile in which you must know her and add her as a friend to see any info. I've already had the big talk with her. I read all the comments and none of hers were nasty or offensive. This woman butted into a conversation on my daughter's friend's wall and started attacking her...then we blocked her and she started using another account to further attack her...I blocked her again. My daughter is really good about talking to me on such topics. She also won't talk to strangers-every friend on there is a friend from school. It's a scary and dangerous world we live in-I try to protect her as best I can.
