My son's teacher says that she is not aware of what is taken place in her class.

@cream97 (29164)
United States
May 7, 2010 8:29am CST
My son comes home everyday telling me what is going on in his class. He told me that a boy in his class said that he was going to pull a knife out on him. I told the teacher about this yesterday. She said that my son never came and told her anything about this. She said that this boy and my son sits far apart from each other in class. She also said that her students in the class is very vocal. Everyone talks and if something is wrong, they all will tell her. But I have had a couple of conversations with this teacher about what my son tells me. And she always says that my son has not told her anything about the kids bullying him and threatening him. I once had to contact the principal because, a boy took a pencil and drove the led into my son's hand. It left a tiny mark, which has already cleared up. His teacher called his parents, which his father is a police officer. And the little boy admitted to doing this to my son. He said that he even apologized, which my son has already told me. I am tired of trying to figure out what is actually going on in my son's class. If I tell the teacher each and everything that my son has told me, she will always tell me that my son never tells her anything at all. She will have no kind of knowledge of anything that has taken place. You see, things like this disturbs me as a parent. I am very wise to know that it does not take me having to see anything or hear anything from my very own eyes, to know what is taken place. If my son is saying that these kids in his class is threatening and bullying him, I will believe him. I really wished that the teacher could have this same approach. That is like a husband that is abusing his wife at home, and no one knows anything about it. No one has seen or heard anything unusual, but it is happening at the home. So, when she tells someone, they don't believe her, because they have not seen or heard anything. And that is how I feel about my son's teacher. She does not see or hear anything. It is has been so many things that my son will come home and tell me. What do she expects me to do? Ignore him and act like I don't hear him? Because I am not going to do that. I kind of feel that the teacher is not telling me the truth here. My son comes home telling me all of the bad things that the students have said to him and to his very own teacher. He has even told me that the boys will say mean things that they are going to do to the teacher, like verbal threats. These kids are violent, and I don't think that this should be taken lightly. This is a serious issue and I am not going to just sit and wait for something bad to actually happen to my son. I am taking his complaints as warnings. I don't know what this teacher is thinking, but if someone hurts my son, they will have me and his father to deal with!
4 people like this
11 responses
@katsmeow1213 (28910)
• United States
7 May 10
Teachers have to deal with around 20 kids at a time, and can't possibly keep track of each and every one, so it's not surprising at all that your son's teacher doesn't see the bullying. If anything I'd have a conversation with your child and tell him how important it is to bring these matters up with his teacher as soon as they happen.. that way she can deal with the problem immediately instead of a few days later after he's told you and then you contact the teacher.
2 people like this
@cream97 (29164)
• United States
7 May 10
Actually kats,I have sent a letter to the teacher the very next day when my son came home to tell me that a student in his class hit him in the face near the eyes. On that same day.. So, I do try to let her know the next day as much as possible. And I do tell him the importance of contacting his teacher when something does happen. You have no idea how badly I stress this to my son. I think that his teacher knows that her students are capable of being violent. She just does not want to admit it.l
1 person likes this
• United States
7 May 10
Well you never know.. some of it is typical kid stuff, because things like that happen in pretty much every class. Some of it may be your son just exaggerating. Some of it may be your son being slightly over sensative. I can't imagine any teacher on the planet just ignoring truly violent behavior, and you mentioned that you got the principal involved, so if there were truly a problem I'm sure it would have been addressed by someone. You have to look at these things from every angle. If I were in your shoes I'd probably schedule a sit down with the teacher to discuss everything. That way she could understand my concerns and keep a closer eye on it to see if it is bullying, playing, or nothing at all. Then I could also have a better understanding of how she's addressing it.
1 person likes this
• United States
8 May 10
Well if that is the case then something should have been done long ago. You can't expect a teacher to protect your child.. she has to watch out for all her students and not play favorites. The most she can do is notify the other children's parents of the situation.. and if she hasn't done that yet then perhaps you can suggest it to her, or take it upon yourself to meet the other parents and find a solution to the problem. Just out of curiosity, how old is your son, and is he capable of defending himself when these other kids bully him?
@celticeagle (123836)
• Boise, Idaho
7 May 10
This is horrendous. maybe the teacher is in denial. She probably has alot on her plate and doesn't see things. Plus these kind of bad kids have a great way of pulling the wool over adults eyes and making them think they are great kids. I would keep fighting and talking to the principal and teacher. Don't give up!
@cream97 (29164)
• United States
7 May 10
Hi, celticeagle. That is what I have told her. I told her that her students in her class are very sly. They may be doing things when she is not looking or paying any attention. She has to think smarter than she does too. I mean, she knows kids will lie and do anything to cover their backs. So, why don't she believe me when I tell her what my son has been telling me. It is like she does not want to think or know that her very own students are capable of hurting someone. Well this world that we live in is reality. She will either have to accept it, or resign from her teaching position.
2 people like this
@celticeagle (123836)
• Boise, Idaho
7 May 10
She doesn't seem to be thinking like a teacher should. I would discuss this with the principal. I also think she is in denial and doesn't want to admit she isn't doing her job.
1 person likes this
@RawBill1 (8541)
• Gold Coast, Australia
7 May 10
That is a really frustrating situation to be in. We had to deal with that at our daughters school when she was only 5 and 6 years old! Not threatening to stab or anything like that, but she was getting kicked by a girl in her class who was supposed to be her friend. She would come home with bruises every day and when we approached the teacher, she said she had not seen anything but would keep an eye on it. The problem kept on happening and it got to the stage where my daughter was too scared to go to school. My wife was friends with the bully girls mother, so she approached her about it which was met by angry defensive comments from the mother and then she started bullying my wife in certain ways. The teacher or the principal of the school never did anything even though they were supposed to be a caring and peace loving alternative hippie school. It got to the end of the year and we heard that the bully was not returning the next year so we enrolled in the school again, but then found out that she was there again in the new year. We hoped that with a new teacher these issues might get noticed, or that they might not happen after a six week break from school, but they started up again. And again the school did nothing so we moved her to a different school and into the public school system. She found it hard at first coming into a class six weeks into the school year when everyone else had already bonded, but in the 5 years since then she has flourished at this school and they do not tolerate bullies at all. But what we did manage to do was raise awareness at the old school and suddenly other parents started coming forward and then others followed us and left the school too. The school used to promote themselves as being a "Steiner School", but they ended up having to drop the "Steiner" from their name. Perhaps you need to change schools also if you feel your issues are not being dealt with sufficiently. I hope it works out for you.
• United States
7 May 10
Sounds to me like this teacher is partially in denial and that your son is too scared to go to the teacher many times. Truth is as a child if a bully sees them tell and the bully gets in trouble than the child who told gets beat up even more. (I have been there.) There are a few options that you can take to rectify this situation. 1) Have a meeting with the teacher, principal, and superintendent if needed. This way all of you can come up with a plan to help keep these children safe. 2) (And this is the one that worked for me.) Teach your child some form of martial arts. The strength and confidence this will give them will allow them to be able to tell the teacher and stop the beatings. For most bullies once their target stands up to them they leave that person alone. These are only suggestions but I have seen both cases work in some hard schools. Hope your family does well through this.
2 people like this
@Hatley (164229)
• Garden Grove, California
7 May 10
hi cream Knowing your son as you do , uou have every right to have that teacher be honest with you, I think shes just sort of passing the buck, not making waves, and thats so wrong.I do not for an instance think your son is not telling you the truth, as most children are far more honest than some adults.Yes you and your husband may have to make some waves yourself to get justice done. A teacher is bound to watch out for bullies picking on the kids,if she does not she to me is not much of a teacher. Perhaps he does not tell her as he senses she does not much care,kids are really pretty smart, smarter than we often give them credit for.
@cream97 (29164)
• United States
7 May 10
Hi, Hatley. I personally think that my son feels that his teacher will not do anything about him being bullied. Sometimes he will say, that the teacher don't want to talk to a certain student. Like if the boy is being bad and has misbehaved in class. She will ignore him and act like she does not want to deal with him. I say to myself that my main concern is why does my child keep things like this away from his teacher like this. If she is his teacher, then surely he should not be afraid to tell her if another student is hurting him or has threatened him.. He always says that his teacher is nice or that she would not let them go out for recess if they were bad. The things that he comes back home telling me is negative situations that have taken place in the class. I think that the teacher is just scared to get involved into issues that are related to violence. But she has to always remember, what goes around comes back around. If she does not isolate this issue she can be sure that it can happen to her two girls. I am not wishing anything bad on her, but karma really has a way of coming back to bite one into the behind.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164229)
• Garden Grove, California
8 May 10
hi cream thats exactly it, she maybe afraid but she is the teacher and this is part of her job, she could well get bit in the butt by her inactons. and bullies left alone just get worse as they feel they have beat the teacher and she doesnt know from John brown's barn. what if one of her own daughters is bullied, then what? surely she would take action.
1 person likes this
@cicisnana (775)
• United States
10 Jun 10
It sounds possibly like this other boy may be the teachers pet, or maybe even related to the teacher (?). Can you see about getting your child moved from her room to another? That would be my best advice to you.
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48710)
• United Kingdom
12 May 10
Hi Cream I think it is time to take action and have serious talks with the Principal before somebody does get hurt Today it can not be ignored when threats like that are being made, to much happens today If you do not get any joy from the Principal then go higher and above his Head to the Education Authorities This needs sorting now
1 person likes this
@carmelanirel (20979)
• United States
10 May 10
I'm curious, what does your son say? Does he tell the teacher? If not,she probably doesn't know what is going on, but if he does, then you need to talk to the teacher to make her aware that you know she is being informed. If that doesn't work you may have to go over her head, though my experience is when there is communication between the student,teacher and parent, that is all it will take. I hope this works out, kids can be mean and stepping in sometimes is necessary.
@Opal26 (17686)
• United States
8 May 10
Hey cream~ I think that what you are saying is a very serious issue! Maybe the teacher is honestly scared herself and doesn't know what to do either because the maybe the Principal won't listen to her or back her either! It may not be her fault! Maybe her hands are really tied and she is scared too for her own safety! Maybe you should try to make a face to face appointment to try to speak to her calmly and see what you can find out? I know that approaching her negatively definitely isn't going to work! I honestly think she is scared of these kids too! Try to make an appointment with her and see what you can find out!
1 person likes this
• United States
7 May 10
I can think of two other choices you have... 1. switch classes/schools 2. (^^i agree with the one above me^^) teach your son to defend him self. It only makes perfect since to do so.
@kun2349 (23464)
• Singapore
7 May 10
Well, u cant blame the teacher entirely.. IF she really dunno anything, and your son din tell her anything, basically, she really wont know.. Alot depends on your son.. And if he did really told the teacher, yet his teacher did nothing, then obviously, the teacher must be blamed, and not suited for teaching.. BEcause they are supposed to be protecting those kids, and be a listening ear, other than parents..
1 person likes this