where did the romantic words go?
By Ifamous
@ifa225 (14464)
Indonesia
May 12, 2010 6:24am CST
i have married for ten years. my husband is not good with expressing his feelings. But when we were date he used to say some romantic words to me. but that habit is gone. we usually so busy to say those words.
i know i am a fool to expect that.it just sometimes i need it to make my day after dealing with the kids...
2 people like this
13 responses
@sunnycool (12714)
• India
12 May 10
I dont think it would be wise to expect him to be the same ten years hence lol---he knows that you're married to him and you would stay with for sure in absence of those romantic words toooo .so why bother about something you're destined to have for the rest of his life---its the human psychology femalien---human beings wants for more if they're too far from his reach else he/she would tend to neglect it.so its time for you to start afresh and all the best for the luring sessions and hope you get to hear those words sooon from your partner .great day.
@sunnycool (12714)
• India
13 May 10
haha you seem to be driven by my words "Dear Femalien" ---Just in case you forgot then i should remind you that------you're married and you gotto make it happen---romantic words doesnt work to the best if they're copied---so ask him to work on your interests that should be working to a greater extent
@nangisha (3496)
• Indonesia
12 May 10
Hi IFA!.
I think when the man married you he will stop romantic, because he think you are his so you will not go any where beside by his side.
I am not married yet but I see that in my mom and dad they never say romantic to each other, I don't know if in the bed room .
Maybe you can ask it to him if you wanna feel romantic, in chase he miss that too.
@marilynjose70 (32)
• Philippines
12 May 10
yeah,sometimes we all wanted to hear the magic words from our love ones specially after several years of being together,,,something fades and you know gone,no matter how we keep it and let it its still gone.....but the good thing here is you still have the chance to say it because you still together and you love him i guess...so say the magic words everytime maybe he will too after hearing it comes fromyou....
@rinzgca (316)
• Philippines
13 May 10
You mentioned you are busy. I have often heard that what most relationships need is communication. Maybe your husband is not aware of your need. Sometimes, we ladies assume that our guy should already know this, or that. Or that they would get this hint or that. But really, some guys are dense. Sometimes, we need to tell them because sometimes they just need some telling too. Maybe he doesn't even know that you are already feeling tired and all and that you want some encouragement from him via sweet words. Or maybe, he needs something like that from you too! :)
I hope your relationship with your husband gets well. God bless with your family!
@mesmerizer (110)
• India
12 May 10
hi,I guess all guys are like this only.You are at least married for ten years , but my boyfriend has undergone all the changes that you were talking about in just three years of our relationship.Its pretty strange how things are now.Unlike what it used to be, he never feels interested in whatever i talk about or try doing to revive our relationship.Nothing seems to work.It may be that the "love is gone" but on my part its still the same ,although I have stopped expecting those emotions from him.
@keval32 (1096)
• India
12 May 10
I think after marriage man has much stress, he has to feed his family, he has to make them happy, and also in this age there's violent competition there in the job and business, it's like compete or leave. These are some of the situations where man forgets to say sweeter words or expressing feelings. As one of the member said here that all men are same, but that's not true all are not same. Certain situations make man like that, please understand him and give him a big hug !!
1 person likes this
@amar_sandy1987 (1876)
• India
13 May 10
yea manny married life partners forget all those romantic words which they use to talk about before marridge and after married life some time the romantic wors i mean some romantic moments should be their to love eachother
@skysuccess (8858)
• Singapore
12 May 10
ifa225,
It's natural for young love to revel in their love passion and shower each other with lovely messages and such. But as you progress further into your relationship, you will notice and agree with me that in order to sustain a relationship, it will require more than just that some lovey text messages or romantic words.
Don't get me wrong - it's always good to be loving and send or do or say something thoughtful or affectionate, but that shouldn't be the only source of your motivation in this relationship with your man.
Often, it's how the person is developed emotionally and as such, not everyone is apt to be affectionate.
You will be surprised knowing how some people demonstrate their affection in love. It's not because they don't love their partners - but rather, their environment and personal development had grown in such a way that they are unable to respond to love spontaneously and heartily.
Next time when you witness a large group of friends laugh together, watch carefully: you will realize that although the term 'laughter' is experienced by all - everybody will react differently to this experience, in terms of how they display their mirth.
Some will burst out in madness, tear, giggle, remain cold, roll on the floor, smile, cover their mouths when they laugh, appear like having seizures, clutching their chest, so on and so forth.
Relationship is not a journey of perfect bliss and all of us are just equally imperfect. So, in a relationship, tt's how you uncover about each others' true personality, deal with them and grow from there. It is going to take years of effort to compromise, shape, evolve one another and to craft your relationship. As you know more about him and your relationship, start structuring basic communication - relating individual needs and definition of love. Try to blend indifference into something workable and learn to fine tune regularly to keep it in shape.
If you are even perturbing over much minor roadblocks, I can only say: please anticipate more of such challenges, with greater intensity, thrown into your path.
Take care and hope that this will bring about new understandings.
@daliaj (5674)
• India
13 May 10
I think that is quite normal to happen. Both the partners can do something interesting to keep the romantic life refreshing and new. There is something called 'give and take policy'. You give the things you expect from him, then there is a good chance that you will be able to recieve it back from him. Here are a few things you can do easily.
1. Arrange for a candle light dinner as a surprise.
2. Give him a card or send him an email with a note of your love as a surprise.
3. Plan for a vacation.
4. Tell him literally that you love him.
5. Try to spend personal time with him and express your romantic feelings.
I bet you that you will start getting it back from him.
@frontvisions101 (16043)
• Philippines
12 May 10
Sometimes, the small things count, huh? :) i used to get your complain from my girl. I asked her 'why' everytime and she always said she needs it. I kinda got tired of saying sweet lines so i just stopped. I just thought, what's the point when we're already together. I guess i'll never understand girls that deep.
@visalusha (131)
• Australia
13 May 10
Hi, it always happens. I feel before marriage all the feelings are new and we wait for the moment to talk to each other.
After marriage it becomes a usual thing because we know both of us are going to see each other and be with each other. So it becomes a casual thing and don't want or take time to express our love.
One more thing is that after marriage we take lots of responsibilities to buy a house,car,create a good future for kids etc. So since we are focussed on that we fail to give importance to these.
But I think if we (wives) talk to them in a kind manner,in a proper situation, then they will also be comfortable to talk openly.
@Cherwin2010 (878)
• Philippines
13 May 10
hello IFA! we are in the same situation..i never heard anymore that romantic word to my husband unless i tell him that i want to hear that word from him.. sometimes he stair at me and smile and instead of words he kiss me.. but i know i am not be bother about this, instead i understand him because he is too busy and i am too.. but the most important is that i still know that he love me more than the words he says.."action speak Lauder than words" God Bless!
@347eat (113)
• Philippines
13 May 10
There are several factors why his habit gone for a long time. Maybe he's busy on his work or even you so you don't have time for yourselves due to tight schedule. My advice to you is encourage your husband to say that romantic words again or do whatever things that will make him happy and satisfied. You're not fool because you want to reminisce your past with your husband and there's nothing wrong about it. If both of you have time to be sweet to each other then grab that opportunity just to express your feelings.