Stop Elderly Abuse!
By candyfairy21
@candyfairy21 (2039)
Philippines
May 15, 2010 10:38am CST
I intimately know a family who abuses their elderly 98 year old mother. The couple live off on their mother's pension and squanders the money away. The couple are not legally married bacuse the husband was married to someone else and this woman he is living with and he has sired a son is the 8th live in partner, besides he has other extramarital affairs till now. The husband is jack of all trades and master of none who uses his mom's money to womanize. His older spinster sister lives in the same house. Oh by the way the house is her sister's but since she is a spinster and a frail old lady he threatens her everytime she says something about their mother's money. The common law wife also steals from the old lady to buy whatever she wants and her children another one from another marriage while the real flesh and blood grandchildren are deprived of anything from their grandmother. I've had enough of this abuse and plans to tell the veterans office of this. Would this be the right move? What elese can I do to help?
5 people like this
12 responses
@Kashmeresmycat (6369)
• United States
15 May 10
OMG, what a horrible situation!! Yes, please tell someone for sure! This goes on way too much and people need to be punished for such a terrible crime. I can't stand when someone takes advantage of an elderly person who can't fight back, they are nothing but scum cowards. I would at least start with the Veterans office and see what they say, and keep us informed about what is going on. Your information might help someone else. Good luck and I'm happy to hear you're not someone who just shuts the door and keeps out of it.
@candyfairy21 (2039)
• Philippines
15 May 10
Yup they are just cowards and lazy people who lives off on someone elses' pension. By the way the old lady is a U.S veterans pensioner who succeeded her husband who was an American Citizen. How do I report it to the U.S Veteran's office? I wish there was an easier way. I know if I do report this it will break the old lady's heart. I know she would not want to move out of the house and live off with some strangers. Is there any better way to this without her being removed from the house?
1 person likes this
@Kashmeresmycat (6369)
• United States
15 May 10
Sorry, I'm so stupid sometimes..now I see you did say the US Veterans Administration. Here you go:
http://manila.usembassy.gov/wwwh3031.html
@candyfairy21 (2039)
• Philippines
16 May 10
Thanks for the link I am on it right now. whew this is a something difficult for me to do but I must. Some people needs to be taught a lesson the hard way. I'm just wondering what would happen to them should they be found out?
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
15 May 10
What can that old lady do but succumb to her idiotic children who are victimizing her and taking advantage of her frail condition. Only God can punish them for abusing this helpless old lady. As a concern person, the only way you can help this old woman is to report her to the social welfare department so she can be placed in a more comfortable home without being tortured mentally by her family.
@candyfairy21 (2039)
• Philippines
15 May 10
There are no home for the aged here in my place. I wish there was. My home is open for her however I am quite hesitant because they might say I reported them because I wanted the old woman's money for myself. Which I do not want to hear at all because it's not my intention. I just wanted to give the old lady a peace of mind and to enjoy her last days on earth.
1 person likes this
@manleyjoe (1597)
• United States
15 May 10
I am not too up on the laws of where you are from but I know that there are social welfare services out there in the USA and Possessions. so you may have some such office there and can tell them what is going on. Abuse of any sort should not be put up with.
@candyfairy21 (2039)
• Philippines
15 May 10
Hi Manley,
The old woman is a U.S veterans pensioner do you have any idea on how to get in contact with them? All I know is that the checks are received from the post office and he obtained a special power of attorney to withdraw for her because he is her son and the fact that she is 98 years old she could barely walk that far. What possible steps do you think will the U.S veterans do? Will they remove her from the house?
@manleyjoe (1597)
• United States
16 May 10
I wouldn't know what they will do but I'm sure they will do something. Him having the power of attorney does give him the right and obligation to work for her benefit.
If he is abusing or neglecting her then the courts, if they know of it, should step in and change things.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
15 May 10
Hi Candy,
If you see abuse going on or even if you suspect it then yes, you should bring your concerns to someone who can check in on the situation and hopefully help. At age 98, the poor woman is probably unable to defend herself or perhaps she is too trusting and doesn't realize what is going on. It does sound as if they are taking advantage of her. It's hard to say for sure from the outside but it never hurts to have these things looked into. Abuse of the elderly and handicapped is common unfortunately.
@candyfairy21 (2039)
• Philippines
15 May 10
yes sid thanks for giving me advice. she is a frail 98 years old and unable to defend herself. It breaks my heart to see her this way. I know about the abuse because they are my relatives and its sickening to the pit of my stomach. I know what they are doing and what they did. They cash her checks and spend it on all that they want! Last week the old lady had colds and they never bought her medication I heard then saying that the money wasn't enough! Maybe for greedy folks it will never be enough but it is more than enough to take care of the old lady and get her 2 nurses to take care of her! The old lady receives 45 grand every month don't ever tell me it's never enough.
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
15 May 10
I think that you should do all you can to help the old lady as it's not fair that many people are getting a hand on her money, and maybe barely leaving her enough to afford prescriptions or things she needs. I am not sure about the law ordinances in your country. Hear In the USA I believe it would be repeating to the social security office to whom the checks would be coming from.
@candyfairy21 (2039)
• Philippines
16 May 10
You guess it right friend it leaves almost nothing for the poor old lady. out of the 40 grand she receives she only gets 5 grand which is not enough to buy her needs and then they still cannot leave the 5 grand alone and keeps on asking her till the 5 grand is gone.
@jugsjugs (12967)
•
15 May 10
I would report these people and i would tell them all that you know that had been going on.I would also write things down as a reference to keep a record of all the things that are going on from this day onwards as that way you can also give the report of it to the people who can stop the abuse carrying on.I hate people like them dishing all the abuse out on the frail as they think that noone will ever find out.
@candyfairy21 (2039)
• Philippines
15 May 10
Thanks jugs for this advice. I forget about documentation good thing you reminded me. I would need my facts straightened out before I go to the veteran's office to report this situation.
@laglen (19759)
• United States
15 May 10
heck yes, stop talking about it and call. Think if this was your mother... thats awful. Way to go stepping up and helping!
@hotsummer (13835)
• Philippines
15 May 10
i hope you can report that . anyways, i am impressed to know that their mother is 98 years old already. seems to be a strong woman. i think that they should not use the money of their mom, and should not bring in in their homes any of their live in partners specially if they will just squander the money of their money. i hope that there is nothing more abuse being done than that. but still they have still be reported for using the money of their mother.
@mercedlegurpa (955)
• Philippines
17 May 10
I think you should ask some advice from the family councilor or a priest in your area. The situation is really worst. How pitiful are the mother and the sister. Why the son's like that; is he a spoiled brat? Maybe his other women leaves him because he is lazy. And the nerve; the common law wife's also contributed to the burden of the mother and the sister. This is what you gonna do: go to a certain DSWD in your area, lay out the problem to them and seek their advice. I wouldn't want you to go to veterans office because it will cause more problem to the ones concern. Good luck and more power for showing concern to your neighbors.
@tomitomi (5429)
• Singapore
16 May 10
Hi candyfairy!
It's sad to hear this. I would if I were you! This is no more a private or a family affair. This concerns the public now especially when a helpless elderly lady of 98 is taken advantaged of. You have taken the right step by bringing it up here in myLot. You should continue looking for real help. I believe she needs help.
Alert the police or the crisis center for assistance. If it is no longer safe for her to be at home she could probably apply for a protection order and stay somewhere safe.
@laniekins (4579)
• Philippines
17 May 10
Hello, thank you for your concern on the abuses elderly, those people are crap. They are heartless, you can contact some groups or NGO's on how to help the abused elderly or if you are in the Philippines the most fast and effective thing to do for me is to seek help of imbestigador on gma 7 or tulfo, I know this sounds odd or maybe a lot of work but I think they are credible, you can always hide your identity if you like.
