The Trust is Gone, So Why Bother?

Philippines
May 27, 2010 6:25am CST
Attempts at reconciliation were made. We had a long discussion about why and how this happened. What were the things we failed to do. What were the things we needed to do. I kept in mind some of the comments i got about why people cheat. Tears fell, harsh words exchanged Is it worth keeping the relationship? Should chances be given? Can we give love another chance after the deception? The trust is gone, so why bother?
2 people like this
22 responses
26 Oct 10
It depends on how two people work together, I don't think branding people who do cheat is always going to be one but I do feel there's a certain risk of it happening. It depends on the situation and if the trust can be remade then it's worth giving a chance but the offender as to make up for it. It's probably better to try and forget if that is what happens, as it'll always be brought back up. If the trust is gone forever, so should the relationship in my opinion.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
26 Oct 10
trust an intangible commodity so precious and rare and usually wasted by those who are gifted with it tsk
@lowlycook (265)
• Philippines
28 May 10
well, believe me, the same things happened to me so many times. even when the trust was almost gone, i still gave them chances, and more chances. trust them? well, now and then, yes. but sometimes, no. depends on the situation. i know you're a strong person. just hold on and enjoy life--even alone.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
30 May 10
not alone anymore got my car to focus on hahaha
@med889 (5941)
27 May 10
If there is still a hope that things will get back to normal again then one should give a second chance to the relationship too , you never know it can proves very good in the future to both in a couple.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
27 May 10
i hope we can bring it back to normal and if i can forget about it completely
@calixto21 (103)
• Argentina
28 May 10
if u believe in second chances, well keep in mind that the trust is gone and ure going nowere.
1 person likes this
@charylady (419)
• Philippines
28 May 10
this is hard. personally if someone deceives me, then i back off. it's hard to bring back trust if it can be brought back at all.
@akopoaysi (739)
• Philippines
28 May 10
i am sorry to hear that.. if our relationship is just between bf & gf.. it is better to know now that later you can still get out of it... and you deserve more... you deserve love that is worthy to fight for... if we are talking about marriage... it complicates things... it hurts more than anything.. betrayal. And you can not get out of it... what you can do is... SIT AND TALK... and hope for the best.. i am sorry... it is hard... dont worry our heart has the strongest muscles... it will still beat even its broken and you feel the pain... but i hope you'll be happy soon... hey... after all... after the rain.. there will be rainbow outside and a pot of gold at end of it... good day mylotters!!
1 person likes this
@rajaiv0810 (1012)
• Philippines
27 May 10
I guess if you are going to give another chance it would probably need a little time. I don't want to say that it doesn't deserve a second chance as I believe that every relationship deserve another chance to work things out. But it would not be easy I guess. As trust is earned and not freely given it may take a little time to earn it back again. But if the other person is really sincere about the relationship maybe you can give it a try. Just don't make things so easy so that both of you will treasure it even more. Remember the saying that "Love is sweeter the second time around."
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
27 May 10
chipesterkhan it depends on the honesty of each person after the cheating, is the cheater really honest in wanting to try again and can the cheated on forgive enough to try again. nobody but those two people can say what to do but I always feel like one more chance should be given then if he or she fails that is it. the marriage or living together is over. Sometimes there is no way of giving a second chance as there has already been too many second chances and the person has failed all of them. the marriage is over, done , finished, kaput.
1 person likes this
@se7enthbird (8307)
• Philippines
27 May 10
if the trust is gone then i agree, why bother. there is a popular song here in our country (philippines) in our native tongue saying trust is like a chocolate, once it has melted already then there is no way that you can put it back to its normal shape. its hard to trust again when your partner cheats. now if you both wanted to try it then its okay if it is a mutual feeling but if its not then there is only one thing to do. move on.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85130)
• Shingle Springs, California
27 May 10
Every person in this situation has to decide for themselves. If the cheater is sincerely sorry and determined not to do it again, and if the cheated loves that person and is willing to forgive (as long as it doesn't happen again), then it might be worth it. But if one person isn't going to change or the other person isn't going to forgive, there's no point in trying.
1 person likes this
@reckon21 (3479)
• Philippines
1 Jun 10
After the deception every relationship will hit rock bottom. It will be a devastating emotional roller coaster ride the kind that will make you question everything. The relationship is worth keeping if both parties still have feelings and love each other. In every relationship mistake can happen it just depend the degree of the sin or betrayal. There are some relationship that is worth saving. Especially when it involves about the lives of the children. The kids needs both parents to nurture their bright future and if there is only one parent it is not enough.
• United States
27 May 10
chipesterkhan, When trust is gone, it's hard to give a person a second chance. I understand but I believe one can earn your trust back by being loyal. Love is a stranger, you gave a stranger the chance to love you, I believe if you choose you, you can give the stranger another chance at love again too.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
31 May 10
Is there really no other way to bring back the trust? How about love? Is there still any love left? Give both of you space and time to think if you two would still want to be with each other.
• Philippines
27 May 10
Everyone has the right to be given a second chance but of course with some conditions. It is also difficult to be with someone who you do not trust since trust is one of the biggest factor that makes a relationship last. I would prefer to give another chance but I will make sure it will be the last, I mean just one chance and I guess that would be enough.
1 person likes this
• United States
30 May 10
If the trust is gone , it is over. Unless you both want to Try to regain the trust, it is over.
@Ritchelle (3790)
• Philippines
28 May 10
give him another chance for a part of you wants to and cheaters always need a second chance or a person to let them know that they don't need to cheat to feel loved or contented. also, if you really don't want to give him a chance you wouldn't be asking if you should give him one more chance in the first place.
• India
29 May 10
I really feel sorry for the trauma you have gone through. Your last line itself makes it clear that you have taken the decision already. Love should always be a two-way traffic, not one-way. Both me and my love treat ourselves with good respect, understanding, giving way to each other in matters of distress, failure, success and what not. There was never a speck of time we doubted each other's action and we always thought it is something for good only. Yah, there were instances when either of us couldn't meet each other as promised, nor couldn't attend the missed calls. But later on when the circumstances were explained, we evaluated it, discussed it, and suggested to one another how the situation been dealt with. Now I am proud, we live beyond all those "mere infatuation" and we are getting married soon.
@joan2010 (45)
• China
28 May 10
you can communicate with your partner ,honest communication is a good way to resolve problems.If she does't want to rebuld the ralationship,you shuld let it go.Otherwise you can give each other a chance,maybe you can lead a wonderful from now on.
@rosie230 (1696)
27 May 10
I am going through the same thing right now.. and I can say that for me it is very hard, but trying once more is both our decision and communication is going to play a bigger part in our life... I don't want to be hurt again, and I hope that at some point I can regain some trust in him, because I do still love him and he is the father of my child.
@xeroeight (1060)
• Philippines
28 May 10
well for me if both of you are willing to get a another chance then try again, as long as both of you wants to and if the feeling is gone for both of you well I suggest stop it now, but if not then go a head try again fix the problem all you have to do is ask each other and tell the truth.