Sometimes, I wonder, if my husband's family can see that I am a devoted wife.
By cream97
@cream97 (29087)
United States
May 28, 2010 4:55pm CST
I have been married for 8 years to my husband. We have three beautiful children together. Their ages are 8, 4 and 2 years old. I have one boy and two girls. There are just times where I wonder if my in-laws can see that I am really a devoted wife to my husband. When my husband had dental surgery on his gum, I had to do mostly everything at home. I had to feed him, feed myself and my three kids. I had to help my son with his homework. I made sure that my husband took his medication. I got up out of my sleep just to make sure that he had something to eat and his medicine to take. I hated to see him in so much pain. I did everything all by myself for him at all. None of his family was here helping me. I was very exhausted, so exhausted, my neck started to ache. I told my father-in-law about it and he said that maybe I slept on the wrong side of the bed. But it was not that. It was me being so tired and stressed out because I had to tend to my husband. Plus on top of that, I had an apartment inspection that same week. I had to clean my entire apartment all by myself. My father-in-law did paid the car insurance for us. He also went to the grocery store to buy my daughter some diapers too. He also took our son to school too a couple of times. As I was going through this difficult time, I started to wonder if his family really can see that I am a truly devoted wife to my husband. There is not a thing that I don't know that no one can or can't tell me. I have endured it all. I know what it feels like to be dead tired. I know what it feels like to take care of children with no help at all. I am the only help they had at this time. Their father was very weak. I had to help him walk every time he needed to get up for whatever reason. I was there each every time that he needed me. I was glad to do this for him because I love him, so. I have been through so much of aggravation with his mother in the past. She used to insult the heck out of me. She spent so much time being mean to me that she never really knew what kind of daughter-in-law that I am. God could have allowed her son to marry a no good woman but he did not, instead he chose me to be my husband's wife. I just wonder if they really knew that I am committed to their son and brother. Yes, we have had many ups and downs, but we still loved each other, no matter what. If my mother-in-law especially, has anything negative to say about me, I feel so sorry for her. She really has a wonderful and sweet daughter-in-law. And I wished that she can always remember this, when Satan tries to make her hurt me like she used to do. She has no reason to be mean to me anymore. I am a great daughter-in-law to have. She would be a fool to be nasty to someone as caring, and devoted as I am.
2 people like this
12 responses
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
28 May 10
I hate to say tis cream, but usually a spouses family is going to look more favorably on their child than the in-law. I am sorry that his family is not treating you with the respect you deserve..:(
2 people like this
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
28 May 10
Or the old saying, "A Womens Work is Never Done" 
1 person likes this
@AtaArticles (2)
•
28 May 10
Have you watched a film called: 'Monster In Law' It's pretty hilarious.
Where ever you go, there is two sides to everything in life. Good and Evil, kind and nasty. You get that at work, school, home. Generally bullies don't know what effect it has on their victim until they're on the receiving end.
You need to stand up for yourself and be 'assertive'. Don't be rude, but be firm and polite when she gets nasty.
I say that from experience at work. I thought if i be nice and just take all the crap i get from my 'hitler' boss and one colleague, it would blow over. It doesn't. It just made me feel more depressed everyday, to the point of hating work altogether. Then i had enough and started shouting back. Whatever crap they gave me, i gave back. I felt better, stronger and the boss realised i have become more assertive and then she backed down.
Since then, i don't take crap from anybody who is nasty and patronising.
Good Luck
@lilybug (21107)
• United States
30 May 10
At the end of the day the only thing that really matters is that your husband knows that you are a devoted wife and mother. What the rest of the world, including the likes of us here at myLot, thinks for the situation does not matter. I know it is hard to not care what other people think, but you will be happier and less stressed if you only worry about what you, your husband, and your kids think of you.
1 person likes this
@kun2349 (23381)
• Singapore
29 May 10
Well, that's the life of being a daughter-in-law.. IT's the culture since the early centuries till now.. It's just some kind of unexplainable link, whereby most mother-in-law cant seem to get along with daughter-in-law.. hehe ^_^
Even if u have done your best, and everything seems perfect to u, still your mother-in-law, will still be picking on u, including some really small details, before turning it into a big matter!!
What i can say is, ignore her or rest of them.. For they are not u or your husband.. So long as your husband understands what u are going thru, and standing up for u, u should be feeling lucky ^_^
1 person likes this
@kaylachan (58844)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
29 May 10
Personally if I were you I wouldn't be so concerned about what other people think of you. If your husband loves you, treats you with the respect that you deserve as a wife and a woman, your children adore you, and you're confident in yourself as a person. Then I say to hell what others may think or feel about you. You married your husband not his family. When you hear for better or worse, that sometimes means dealing with the in-laws. Remember you don't have to live with them, but they are part of your husband's life.
What I'm saying you have every right to have a sour opinion, but in the end it's all it is. At the end of the day it's going to come down to you, your husband and children. Don't let anyone else get in the way of that and bring you down. You know you're an upstanding person, and that's all that should matter to you.
1 person likes this
@kourdapya (924)
• Philippines
31 May 10
Hi cream! I understand your situation because I'm also a daughter in law, and a dedicated wife as well. Although we don't have children yet, I do anything to make life easy for me and my husband. I go to work and at the same time do the household chores myself. When my husband got sick, neither of his family came by to help me take care of him. I think they just come to visit our place to ask for money from my husband. When my husband lost his job, I still do houseworks because I don't want my husband to think that I put him under my control. Things have changed a lot, sometimes I feel like my husband does not really care about me anymore but, I dismiss the thought. I just wish that my mother in law sees that I am a good wife to her son.
1 person likes this
@kalav56 (11464)
• India
29 May 10
I am sorry for you cream97.But , one important thing is that your husband should feel that you have been a devoted wife to him and a devoted mother.That is most important.If he thinks like that you have no problems.You do things for love of him and the family and that is all that matters.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
28 May 10
hi cream your mother in law sounds a bit spoiled in some ways and its so wrong of her to insult you.but maybe she is like some moms who do not think anywoman is good enough for their sons. I remember being hurt by myhusbands mother before we had got married. My hypocritical dad had gone up there to walla walla where his parents lived and made a stink because my hubby to be had been in trouble just once in his teens. well this upset my mom in law and she wrote to my hubby to be, honey maybe you should look around more, she does not sound like on eof our people, they were all devout seventh day Adventists, now please nobody get mad at me but I did not like that religion, had my own, Methodist. Now I was and am a good christian woman and when she finally did get to meet me she really did like me,unlike my hubby's sister who did not particularly like me.
so I know it hurts when you know you are a good person and a mother in law insults you without any cause. She sounds like shes really short tempered and into herself too much. She needs to g
et involve in life at her age she should not shut herself off from everything and everyone.
et involve in life at her age she should not shut herself off from everything and everyone.1 person likes this
@celticeagle (159887)
• Boise, Idaho
29 May 10
Why do you care so much? If you feel you are doing the right things and are doing a good job and your husband feels the same way then why worry about what others think? Not all people see, understand or care about the plite or goings on of others. And there seem to be a communication break down in the in-law sector for some reason anyway. And it also seems that when you push you look even worse to them.
@reckon21 (3479)
• Philippines
29 May 10
As I read your post I can very well say that you have been a devoted and good wife to your husband. You are also a good an wonderful mother to your children. And I also read that your mother in-law did not appreciate your effort and your true nature. I feel sad for you...but don't be depressed because you know who you are and your family knows it too.
Just be patient with your mother in-law...one day she will realized how good you are. Just give her time and everything will fall in to the right place. Continue to be a good mother and wife to your family because they are your true treasure.
@saphrina (31552)
• South Africa
29 May 10
Sweetie, let me tell you something and i really hope you will remember this.
You are a strong women with a lot of guts and love for your family.
Never let anyone tell or make you feel differently. You are married to your husband, NOT his family. For all i care they can go to the moon.
You don't have to impress them, nor proove anything to them.
The most important thing, is that you and your family are happy and devoted to each other.
The hell with the rest.
TATA.
@whdevo (10)
•
29 May 10
How good a wife and a mother you have been depends entirely on how good a wife and mother you see yourself as being/having been.
I shall venture no judgemental opinion, but would advise you that you should ask yourself: "Have I done what I consider to be right for a devoted wife and mother to do?"
If your answer to this is "Yes, I think so", then you have been a true wife and mother ... other people (who are often, for many reasons within themselves, so quick to judge) cannot be inside your head/mind, and, so their opinions are necessarily "flawed".
If you are the best that you know how to be, then you (no matter how anyone else may fiew or judge you) are "the best".
Trust yourself, and let others -particularly unsupportive others- be themselves also.
And do not fall into the trap of judging them because of their attitudes ... or else you just do the same as they are (evaluating when they do not have the right to do so) ...
At least, so I think ...
1 person likes this
