Is it worth it to give second chances?

@joygracia (1326)
Philippines
May 29, 2010 6:12am CST
I have my broken hearts. I found it my bf is in love with another girl. He confess it to me but the girl already has another man so he ends up coming back to me. Foolish as I am, I love him to the fact I blinded myself with this and accept him. To my dissappointment, he made some comments in his facebook that he misses someone though we were together before he posted that message. Now convince I`m just completely fooling myself out of him. Second chances are more heart breaking than the first time we broke up. Would you consider giving some second chances? I`ve learned the hard way. I don`t want to give second chances anymore.
3 people like this
18 responses
@bodhisatya (2384)
• India
29 May 10
I think he is using you. nad don't let that happen. Its like an abusive relationship. he would sweet talk you when he is alone and the time till he is alone, the moment he finds someone of his interest he would flee. Get your dignity back and I am sure you will have someone who is worth of your love and affection! Smiles, Bodhi
1 person likes this
@joygracia (1326)
• Philippines
30 May 10
Yes he did. I decided this is too much. I end up blaming myself but I ain`t got no choice but to accept it. Its hard but I should move on.
@ddaguno (3107)
• Philippines
29 May 10
a second chance would be reasonable. Some people really do change. But a 3rd time? that would be too much.
1 person likes this
@joygracia (1326)
• Philippines
30 May 10
Too bad he didn`t. He is only using me. It hurts.
• India
29 May 10
Its not regarding the chances, IMO , whatever number of chances u give, the person should change and accept the mistakes and correct them. Giving a second chance is good, If the person repeats then you no more chances.
@joygracia (1326)
• Philippines
30 May 10
He didn`t. he got worse.
• India
30 May 10
Ok! So dear, free advice, Move on.. Think in this way, if u had found this out after marriage it would have been a lot more worse. Lucky you. why would you love such an loser.. you are worth more. i agree, you must have been very true in your love, but he is not eligible for that. It sometimes happens that what we select might not be right and God must have something else for us in store. So don't lose hope. don't be sad,disheartened. Take this as an opportunity, which many people don't get, to know the truth about your current relation. Hope i have convinced and consoled you . All the best.
• Philippines
30 May 10
IM sorry to hear that. I think you need to move on without him, you know you deserve better. What happens if the other girl loves him too? He wont get back to you right? To him, you are just a choice. Be tough and move on, you dont need a guy like that.
@joygracia (1326)
• Philippines
17 Jul 10
thank you so much.. I will..
@kaylachan (4775)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
29 May 10
In my oppinion giving a second chance should be on a person-to-person, situation-to-situation basis alone. Just because one person isn't worth it doesn't mean everyone and everything falls under the same catagory. You need to trust in yourself, and decide what's best for you. Take each situation as it comes at you and consider everything before taking that leap. Because until something happens you don't know when you'll be faced with that decision.
@joygracia (1326)
• Philippines
15 Dec 10
I do agree on you on this.. Thank you so much for sharing...
• United States
29 May 10
I think you should move on to somebody who loves you like you love them. It depends on how much you love him. you are not married, so you do not HAVE to try if you don't want to. but if it gets to that point, then you are obligated to try to work it out no matter what. think of it as a warning sign.
@joygracia (1326)
• Philippines
30 May 10
Yes, & I`m completely off guard... He hurt me more the second time.
@kharlav (1672)
• Philippines
29 May 10
I believe that giving second chances are okay because nobody is perfect, one thing or another one person commits a sin. But it depends on the sin committed, if its cheating then I dont give second chances because trust has already been broken, I wouldn't know if he will do it again. And I know most likely he will do it again.
@joygracia (1326)
• Philippines
30 May 10
Yes he did.. Its just felt sick the 2nd time..
@paula27661 (15898)
• Australia
29 May 10
It seems to me that he already got his second chance and blew it! In my opinion you are worth too much to be treated this way. Personally I would not have taken him back in the first place because the pain of being left for another would have been too much for me and I would have worried that he was going to do it again. You deserve someone who will love you with every fibre of his being and this jerk does not deserve you. I would show him the door and tell him not to let it hit him on the way out! Hang in there, you will find someone much better, you’ll see...
@joygracia (1326)
• Philippines
30 May 10
Yes, he just did take advantage of me and betrayed me. Its sick. He did found out he posted some comments about missing someone where in fact we were going out together that very night before he posted that. It really hurts. I felt so used.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
29 May 10
If you give second chances, then there would be a 3rd, 4th and so on.. It should be their only chance..
@joygracia (1326)
• Philippines
30 May 10
Yes your trully right. Its not only 2nd chances that I`ve given him. I`ve given him alot of things and a lot of chances. So sick he never given anything back.
@chiyosan (30194)
• Philippines
17 Apr 11
Oh, in sor to hear about your heart break. I guess you have given him a chance not because you see that if has changed,but you have given him the chance for yourself. Not all people change, and it takes a lot more than sorry or meaningless words before i give another chance. But that is me. I think if just blew it, and next time if comes back, be careful not to trust him again.
@besthope44 (12141)
• India
14 Dec 10
Well when both of your thoughts are different and feel if you both need no love for eachother, then your choice is right. A marriage is bond of love and need of each other and respecting each other choices. If not, then a small gap and freedom can help grow without hurting each others feelings.
• Portugal
12 Aug 10
ohh joy how did he dare to do that? im so sorry for what happened :( he was so stupid. you accepted him even he loved other girl how could he even write in his facebook he misses someone? you know sweety you should had say ok you wanted her right? so go to her. forget about me bcs i dont want you anymore. sweety that guy is stupid so please be away from him. he should had been happy that you accepted him even he wanted other girl. dont think that all guys are same and that you must not give second chances anymore. we must always give a second chance bcs maybe the other guy will be worth it but dont let him do what this guy did. im sorry for what happened :( but dont lose trust on guys bcs of one that was stupid. you will find a sweet one bcs you deserve it^^
• Malaysia
31 Jul 10
I can give a second chance to some extent not always.It all depend on how i was hurt and by whom! Mean while the trust is somehow lost not the same and this can influence in a way my feelings and my relation with the person involved. On another side, one thing is beyond repair for me and do no diverse my time, my second chance or even forgiveness, the liars, i cant in any way tolerate the lies and the cheating. This is beyond my capacity to accept, i never forget a lie as small and "white" as it can be and wow can never forget cheating. My trust will completely vanish, my relation if i keep it will be based on nothing but futile things the concerned person will be always a center of doubts will never be able to give her/him any sort of trust.
@juryse (752)
• Philippines
25 Jul 10
Second chances are good in different situations. I think before you give a second chance you have to think about it first. Assess the situation you are in. Ponder on the pros and cons. In your case, ask yourself would it be good if you give a second chance? would he change even? If it's a habit then second chances are not your option. It's hard to move on especially if you love the person but sometimes you just have to let go and think about yourself too.
@mizzk1 (56)
• United States
15 Jul 10
A relationship is 50/50....only give him a second chance if he is willing to give you that other 50% if not im pretty sure there is some guy out their willing to. Because one guys trash is another guys treasure. My advice to you would be to keep your wall up!!
• India
18 Jun 10
Hi I can feel the pain, but to err is human and to forgive is divine, you should give a second chance to him, if you are not diverted to another guy.. Thanks for sharing. Welcome always. Cheers. Professor
@juggerogre (1658)
• Philippines
30 May 10
Anyone deserve a second chance so don't hesitate to give it. But third chance? Never. Second is enough. If he do something stupid again then dumped him. Don't waste your kindness to people who doesn't deserve it.
@_Honey_ (781)
• Philippines
30 May 10
Hello. I feel bad for what you've been into. I know this is very betraying and depressing having the love of your life turned his back on you. Honestly, I never found myself giving second chances. Probably because I've never experienced what you you just did. But if I were in your place, I think, even if I still love the guy, I wouldn't give him second chances anymore. We gain one's trust over the years but funny, we can ruin it in a moment. This is a reality that most people should always ponder on if they are entertaining the thoughts of seeing someone else if they're still in a relationship. There are times that you have to give yourself some respect and love. After all, the only people who can hurt you the most are the people you love the most. Set boundaries, set rules. Give yourself some self-respect.