Should i ask her to marry me ?

Romania
June 8, 2010 12:50am CST
I have a little problem, Im with this girl already 2 years and 11 months in six days we fulfill three years of dating and I thought it would be the perfect time to make the next step, but im not so sure I love her very much and I do not know how life would be without her but the truth is that I hesitate at the same time. What should I do? to ask her or not yet. Or maybe im just emotional ? could she expect this kind of thing or should i wait? hmmm
5 people like this
48 responses
• Philippines
8 Jun 10
I advice you to not ask her yet..there's a reason why you hesitate and why you're not sure if you love her..take some time off and maybe you can find the perfect girl for you that will make you happy for the rest of your life.
• Romania
8 Jun 10
well in 3 years i know everything about hear :P i love hear but i dont think im ready to take this step im afraid of marryadge
• Philippines
9 Jun 10
maybe you should ask yourself why you're afraid..list down the things you are afraid of..maybe the responsibilities? it's really up to your decision..but I think you should take some time off to think about it or else you'll regret it.
• Philippines
8 Jun 10
how well do you know her? maybe your just hesitate because you still dont know a lot about her
@srganesh (6340)
• India
8 Jun 10
You should not have dating a girl for a long period like this without any attraction for her.How does she feel towards you?Do you have any idea about that? The best thing is to have an open talk with her and if she is willing to marry you,just go ahead.At the least you don't hate her and that is enough.
@srganesh (6340)
• India
8 Jun 10
pretty1985 is right.Why should you hesitate to raise that question after dating for so long period?Do you think that she may mistake you? No,I don't think like that.So,have some courage to break to her about your wish and sure,she would accept it.What is the benefit if you are going to continue dating still?
• Romania
8 Jun 10
of course i dont hate her i love hear!!
• Zimbabwe
8 Jun 10
Thats very true. U can not date someone you are not really sure of for that long. Why don't u stop wasting her time and stop dating her until u are sure of what u want. That way you will know what u want. Im sure u do not want that therefore its a good idea to go ahead and propose because if you can stand dating her for taht long why can't u pop the question then.
1 person likes this
@zenki08 (700)
• Philippines
8 Jun 10
Hi! From my experience it would be best if you wait and ask yourself on how you really feel because it's hard to go into something with hesitation. You might end up regret it at the end.
• Romania
8 Jun 10
i think the same thing :-s
• Malaysia
8 Jun 10
yea..i think like that too...1st of all,u need to know i ur ready to end up ur single title...think this,when ur single,u will spen 1 dollar for ur self,but when ur maried,that 1 dollar u need to spen with 2 person..or mybe 3-4 person when u have children...dont mke dicision too fast..i already see,read many problem about tis problem...does'nt matter ho long u know her...but all u need is to know each other..to know how ur partner feel in ur relations...its all up to u to make dicision...that its my opinion...PeAcE...
@jambi462 (4576)
• United States
9 Jun 10
Well I would have to say that marriage would be a big step in showing your love but it's not necessary for you to do that to be in love with your girlfriend. Maybe wait it out a little longer and see how you feel. I'm getting pretty close to the time that you and your girlfriend have been together with my girlfriend. Maybe instead of imagining life without her you should imagine the rest of your life with her. Start imagining what your children with your girlfriend would look like and act like, because I look forward to creating a being with the woman I am currently with. I also have a hard time thinking about life without my girlfriend and we have those feelings for a reason.
@jambi462 (4576)
• United States
10 Jun 10
I think it would be awesome to create a new life form with my current girlfriend. I feel like we are both incredibly evolved people and I believe that with the research we have done on nutrition as well as healing and other things involved with health we could raise a child to have immense potential. I thought that would be a great thing for you to think about with your girlfriend because almost all of my friends have their parents to thank for why they are such great people.
• Romania
9 Jun 10
you ar right :D i would love to have kids whit my girfriend :X i love children
• Philippines
8 Jun 10
Why do you hesitate in the first place? Is it because of you or is it just because you're unsure of the girl's response? Are you afraid of rejection? Asking a girl to marry her is a big thing. For us, it means you're ready for the responsibilities (financially, emotionally, mentally, socially) that come with it. If you think your girl isn't ready as well, then don't pop the question. It's a gut feeling, you know. It just comes out of you naturally at the right time, your instincts will guide you on that.. ;D Good luck!
• Philippines
9 Jun 10
How old are you by the way? Well, you're not as ready to getting married yet so don't push yourself.. Take your time to get to know her more.. :)
• Romania
8 Jun 10
i hesitate becouse i am afraid of Marriage its such a big thing , its offen to se kids now a days geting married when they are just 18 years but i can take that kind of responsability :(
@juicekodai (1121)
• Philippines
8 Jun 10
if your unsure, if your hesitating, why do it?.. i guess you need more time... the perfect time will come.. i believe in that..
• Romania
8 Jun 10
hmm you may be right i have all the time in the world :D
• Philippines
8 Jun 10
i definitely agree, if there is hesitation and uncertainty, i think it's still not the right time to ask her to marry you. you should not ask her just because you don't know how to live without her anymore. it will be unfair for her if you are still not sure of how you truly feel. relax and enjoy your time together
• Philippines
8 Jun 10
hi, if you still got any hesitations about asking her to marry then don't ask her yet. it would be better that you have fully made up your mind that this girl is the woman that you want to spend the rest of your life with. there is a perfect time for everything just wait for the fright time. does your girl giving hints that she wants to settle down already?
• Romania
8 Jun 10
not really she is always so activ and alwais on the move but thats how i am dont know :| maybe il wait a little longer
• Philippines
8 Jun 10
hi, one question is why are you unsure of your feelings for her/ second, why do you want to get married already/ when a person gets into a relationship, you should think already of the long-term in the long run, i mean that's the purpose why do we must get into a relationship to build a strong foundation, and get married. however, there's a right time for everything, i mean it involves commitment and investment, and going to a bigger responsibility. having children, providing basic needs, building dreams, are you already for all of this, if yes and you already decided that she is the one you wanted to be with for the rest of your life then get marry.
• Romania
8 Jun 10
OMG this is to much :D, i dont think im ready for that im only 24 :| an she is 22 maybe whe shoul just live togheter in concubinage. it will be safer :D i think
@andy77e (5156)
• United States
10 Jun 10
Yes.
@andy77e (5156)
• United States
11 Jun 10
I'm not interested in the money. I could earn 20X as much money, working one hour extra at work, if money was my goal. I'm just here to answer some of the discussions. In this specific case, he asked if he should marry this girl, and explained his situation. The answer is 'yes'. Marry. Start your life. No other answer was needed.
@eileenleyva (27567)
• Philippines
8 Jun 10
When in doubt, DON'T!
@braiym3 (135)
• Philippines
8 Jun 10
i agree! :D
• South Korea
8 Jun 10
I totally understand committing into more responsibilty is kinda hard,,but nobody can answer your question except you only...if u really love her and your even saying that you cannot live without her..why dont you make it official then... Every girls for sure is waiting for proposal thats for sure.... so if you feel like doiing it.. dont listen to other person that its hard,,,blah blah...of course nothing is easy in life... but again... its all how you feel... take it easy but be sure of your feelings too.. goodluck:) i believe those married man are so brave to take care of their wife and babies..:)
• Romania
8 Jun 10
oo your just makeing me warm inside :D
@braiym3 (135)
• Philippines
8 Jun 10
I think you should not ask her unless you are 100% sure of your feelings and love for her. Maybe you should wait until you know that you really want and love her to be part of your life. Doing a marriage proposal should take seriously and with consideration.
• Romania
8 Jun 10
i have feelings 4 her like nothing before :) i love hear so much mmm
• Philippines
8 Jun 10
to jump or not to jump? i know a lot of guys who asked this question before proposing. marriage is an adventure of sorts, there's a lot of fear-conquering involved, however, you say you're not sure if you love her very much...that's a different story. love should be the main reason for marriage because it's supposed to conquer all and make you a better version of yourself. think hard friend. sort out yourself first before dragging somebody into an arrangement that's designed to be forever.
• Romania
8 Jun 10
no, i really love hear but i just dont know if it will be the right choice, i dont whant afther that to ruin our relationship becouse its a beutiful one :)
• United States
8 Jun 10
Your gut never lies. If it says hold back then that's probably the best action to take. You don't want to make that commitment with any type of hangups or regrets. You'll know when the right time for you is. If she's getting agitated and wondering if you'll ever say it then perhaps you both need to rethink the situation. What's the emphasis on getting married? Is her biological clock ticking?These are all considerations that you both need to discuss. If it's coming up in conversations and you're running for the hills to avoid it then perhaps you need to have a heart-to-heart with your significant other so that you both can be completely honest about your wants/needs/expectations. Then whatever happens will happen and you both were prepared. There's less issues when communication is honest and plentiful in the relationship. Hope this is helpful. Goodluck.
• Romania
8 Jun 10
thank you 4 the comment :| its hard 4 me to make the perfect decision , thanks for all your help
• Malaysia
17 Jun 10
First of all you should ask yourself why are you being hesitated in the first place. There must be a strong reason which makes you hesitate. Maybe you feel that your partner does not meet all of your expectations, and you are hoping her to change. Or, maybe you are starting to get bored with her for certain reasons, and hoping that someone else will appear in your life so that you can compare your existing partner with the new one. Whatever it is, the answer lies in you and only you can make the decision. If I were you, I will make a checklist and see how things go from there.
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
17 Jun 10
Have the two of you spoken of marriage? Do you have plans and dreams for the future that you have shared with her? Surely the two of you should be discussing your future and what you expect from a wife and a marriage and what she expects? You don't just pop the question and hope everything works out...life is not like that. Marriage is not like that. You have to have a plan together and nurture that plan so you are working together on the marriage. Anyone who leaves things to chance is an idiot.
• Philippines
16 Jun 10
Maybe you are not certain about it. I feel you are not ready for it. You will feel it if you are ready. I know you love here but it can be proven all the time not only by marrying her. But in marrying her it means you are ready to move into the next leave of relationship and you are very serious to have a life with her forever. It really depends on you.
@jdyrj777 (6530)
• United States
10 Jun 10
Your coming here to ask this question shows you have you doubts. If you have doubts then you should not marry.
@Ritchelle (3790)
• Philippines
11 Jun 10
why do you hesitate? if you hesitate you'd regret it once you're in it. 5 years is the ultimatum. this is when you either ask someone to marry you or you leave. the reason behind this length of time is you get to know each other so much that it's tiring already.
@karen1969 (1779)
11 Jun 10
Well, if you are not 100% sure that you want to marry her, it is probably better to wait. There is no hurry, you have lost of time! I was first married when I was 20 and he was 22, but we had only been together a year and it was too soon, we were too young. My current husband, we started going out together in 1997 and waited until 2002 before getting married and we are still together and happy.