Bye friends... I'm changing for the better

By eM
@eLsMarie (4348)
Philippines
June 13, 2010 9:10am CST
It's been almost a year now since I've decided to not to go out with my friends from high school. I plan to tell them about my want to isolate myself away from them but I didn't do it because I know that they won't understand. Now, they want me to hangout with them again. If you were in my situation, would you still want to hangout with them, knowing that your friends are unaware that you're already isolating yourself from them? Me and my best friend no longer communicate unlike our common friends. My high school friends, one of it is my best friend, are into drinking, smoking, and staying home late.
2 people like this
11 responses
• Philippines
13 Jun 10
I have been in that situation before and I am happy with my decision. I noticed that I am not already enjoying hanging around with them partying, drinking and the like. I felt like I need to do something better than wasting my time with them. I don't say they are bad influence but I just want some changes. They are not yet done with stuff like drinking, hanging around and bar hopping but I don't consider them bad instead I can see that they are not mature enough to think of other important things. I never told them that I don't want to be hanging around with them but I started to refuse and making alibis when they have plans of going out. Eventually, they felt that I have changed to somewhat being mature so they won't force though they still drop me messages about their activities. At times I hang out with them but I won't stay all night just like the old times.
@eLsMarie (4348)
• Philippines
14 Jun 10
I hope that my friends would understand me as much as your friends does... Thank you very much cheatedaphrodite... I love your username...
• Philippines
15 Jun 10
wow thanks. there's a reason behind my username and I guess I will be sharing it one of these days. Keep it up.. Be mature for your future! :)
@eLsMarie (4348)
• Philippines
16 Jun 10
Thank you very much cheatedaphrodite. Please do inform me if the right time comes.
• Philippines
14 Jun 10
You know, even if you're friends are always drinking and smoking, you can still hang out with them, just don't do what they do. I have friends who smoke and it's really not an issue for us. I don't need to smoke if I'm with them, I can tell them that I don't want to and it's not at all an issue.
@eLsMarie (4348)
• Philippines
14 Jun 10
When I'm with them and if I tell them that I've changed, surely they'll never believe in me. I guess I just have to practice accepting the fact that it's over.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
18 Jun 10
Have you tried telling them? Maybe if you really show to them that you have changed then maybe they'll understand.
@eileenleyva (14924)
• Philippines
18 Jun 10
Marie, I am glad you realized early enough that there is such a thing as bad company. It was wise of you to alienate yourself from them. Whenever they ask you to come and hangout with them, make an excuse, like you are writing here on mylot to earn a living. That is a valid excuse. Then, from now on, search for friends who will genuinely love you and enhance you as a person. There are so many around. Marie, I believe you are blessed!
@eLsMarie (4348)
• Philippines
19 Jun 10
Thank you very much eileenleyva. I can't believe how I instantly changed to someone whom I didn't expect I'd become.
@asep988 (92)
• Indonesia
15 Jun 10
I don't know what is exactly the reason you isolated from your friends. I think it's fine if you isolate yourself because of bad habits of them that you don't like. But as me to suggest you, friends is like uncountable value that we had, so why don't you try to change them into a good and better person..
@eLsMarie (4348)
• Philippines
16 Jun 10
I can't. I've tried in the past but I failed. Instead of listening at me, they thought that I was only joking.
@smartie0317 (1612)
• United States
15 Jun 10
It depends on how much you like them as people. If you enjoy them as friends, I would talk to them on the phone and email. However, keep going out to a minium or don't go out at all. I would explain to them that you don't enjoy drinking and all that stuff.
@eLsMarie (4348)
• Philippines
16 Jun 10
I like them really but I don't seem to love their acts. I respect them so much that it hurts because I have to really isolate myself from them.
@tomitomi (5440)
• Singapore
14 Jun 10
Hi eLsMarie! Seems to me you are a lot wiser now. You decide what's good for you! And if what you have decided is what works best for you which I think it is, then just make it work for you. Great!
@eLsMarie (4348)
• Philippines
14 Jun 10
Thanks tomitomi... I always put in mind that I'm already doing the right thing...
@Ruby722 (797)
• China
14 Jun 10
Hello elsmarie I think you already made your decision,I Can tell by your title.I think if your friends like your said,drinking,smoking,and you should leaving them.It is the best way you creative a new yourself.You just need find a good excuse to tell your friends,You dont hang out with them anymore.good luck
@eLsMarie (4348)
• Philippines
14 Jun 10
Thank you very much Ruby722... I can really relate to you...
• Philippines
13 Jun 10
hi there. you are a good girl for having the discipline to control yourself from drinking, smoking and staying up late. you oughta continue this because it will be for your benefit. just enjoy all those when you are grown up enough. trust us, you would want to be clean and sober. however though, do not isolate yourself too much from your friends. your friends may have different likes and beliefs, but still they are your friends. you don't need to be too far from them. all you have to do is learn how to say no. if they get mad at you for not doing what they are doing, then they are not real friends. then you can ignore them all you want. however, if they really are your friends and they cannot give up on what they are doing, they wouldn't ask you to do what you don't feel comfortable doing. still, be a friend to them. but if this gets destructive already, it's your call to be in isolation.
@eLsMarie (4348)
• Philippines
14 Jun 10
Thanks goddessjes... I miss hanging out with them but I guess I have to practice saying no to them than preferring isolation...
• India
13 Jun 10
Friends are friends and if they are with you at your schooling period then they takes a special place,b'coz during those days they nor you know about the present day situation as nobody knows the future,its the circumstance which may have played some sort of mischief due to which the particular friend have turned into drinks,or even if let me assume that the person was a habitual drinker from the early age,so it does not warrant for laying off the particular friend. On the other hand I will request both of you to communicate with each other,keep all other subject aside and let the friendly atmosphere prevail.No one ever had or will have enjoyed the isolation or aloofness in fact this kill the person slowly day by day from the inside. We are suppose to be friendly to every one from what ever or who ever comes from off what ever habit or community they belong to only thing is that "we should not follow the wrong path or habits" hence my motto is to be friendly to everyone if he/she reciprocate in a friendly manner and this should be the only criteria other things are nothing to the word Friend.
@eLsMarie (4348)
• Philippines
14 Jun 10
Actually, it's not really like I don't have any friends at all... I just miss bein' with my old friends but I'm afraid that I might be influence by them...
• Philippines
13 Jun 10
Hello elsemarie, the last time i've been to a situation like was when i was with friends in a call center interview, we pass and we had a night out. i thought it was just a temporarily until it was just something more than that, so i left with out hesitation, wow my mom was so mad about, after that i decided to refuse any offer of night outs
@eLsMarie (4348)
• Philippines
14 Jun 10
I think most people who's into call center jobs use to have this drinking session every morning which I think it's very unhealthy. I often meet people from the call center that drinks too much right after their work. They use to tell me that they drink because they want to go to sleep.
@juggerogre (1658)
• Philippines
13 Jun 10
They're your friends. So I think it would be nice if you still hangout with them. Just don't do what they do. You'll be called names but ignore them. But if you are really annoyed then don't hangout with them anymore. As your friends they should respect what you want or not want. They should not force you.
@eLsMarie (4348)
• Philippines
13 Jun 10
I'm hoping that they'll understand me because I really want my life to okay. I don't want to lie and do the same things that they do. They influence me so much that I really felt so regretful at present.