Is it really my fault?

@zsarhea (302)
Austria
June 13, 2010 12:52pm CST
I was talking to a guy earlier and he is really mad at me because he saw my status saying "im gonna drink a beer later with someone online",that means i will drink in front of a computer.Well,i was supposed to meet him but from the beginning i told him already that i can meet him but it doesnt mean im gonna have a relationship with him.Then he started to call me cheater,liar and telling me stuff that i really cant accept...he was acting like he was my bf so i did said some bad words (dont really want to but i was hurt) he is judging me playing games and playing his feelings...i didnt expect him that he was hurt but its not really right to tell me that i should not talk to someone online anymore..its like he is controlling me even before having a relationship...i wanna write alot about what happen but i dont wanna make it long. Have you met someone like this guy?do you think its my fault?is it really bad to talk to someone online even if your in a relationship or not?thanks in advance guys...
3 people like this
14 responses
@Ladyslipper (1330)
• Philippines
14 Jun 10
I've been in this situation before. We became friends. He's aware that I already have a boyfriend. He was one of my friends friend so we got a chance to meet. It turned out that his best friend likes me. He got mad at me and said I'm playing games with him. I think he was expecting that we will have some kind of romantic relationship. I have a lot of guy friends so I was shocked when he mistook our online chat as a start of romantic relationship between us. He called me a player and said I'm just making fun of him. I can still remember his exact lines. He told me, "I already knew the likes of you. You made me a fool. I'm sorry but your game is over." My reaction was "huh"?
1 person likes this
@zsarhea (302)
• Austria
14 Jun 10
Hahaha,i like it when u say huh?hehe.Its kinda creepy and weird right?My reaction was the same as what you had,im like "what are you talking about?" hahaha
• Philippines
18 Jun 10
It really is creepy specially when the person becomes your stalker not online but in real life. Good thing though I was transferred to a different city because of my job and now have a family of my own. He still sends emails sometimes or pops a message to chat in YM. However, I don't respond anymore to his messages. He knew I already have two kids and a husband. Be extra careful dear when dealing with guys online. Sometimes they could turn out to be real weirdos and crazy.
• United States
14 Jun 10
IDK its hard to answer... Cause Of course you would not want him doing it to you, but even if its friendly its still like cheating!!!
1 person likes this
@zsarhea (302)
• Austria
14 Jun 10
hi ceecee409...talking to someone online is cheating?he is not my bf so it shouldnt be cheating...
• Estonia
13 Jun 10
I am a guy and to be honest there were moments in my life when I was in love with a girl and I wanted her to concentrate on me only and to not talk to anyone else and stuff. Still, I made myself clear, that I have no rights to limit girl's contacts circle, so I have never acted the way this guy did, although I wanted to. I think that it's normal that if guy loves a girl he may want to "keep her for himself", but I don't think it's normal to actually isolate the girl from the rest of the world like this guy in your case. He should have been more tolerant to such things, his behavior is totally unacceptable.
1 person likes this
@zsarhea (302)
• Austria
13 Jun 10
your absolutely right...even if im his girlfriend i wont do everything he wants me to...i have my own life and even if im gonna be his wife he will just be a part of my life and i still have the full control of iy...its freaky and weird behaviour...thanks for the response...
@lovieron (129)
• Philippines
14 Jun 10
I haven't met someone like that, but sure I don't want to meet one.. It is not bad having communication online with other people though you are already in a relationship, the only problem is when you flirt with them and let them fall in love with you when you just want to play.. the idea is if you want to flirt let the other partner know.. or else he'll be very very mad. ;d
1 person likes this
@hhtyww (44)
• China
14 Jun 10
i have not seen a man like he is,do not talk to him when he is not awake,he may be crazy.it is not your fault?
1 person likes this
@vanity666 (260)
• Spain
14 Jun 10
i've met people like that before and it's not worth to waste your time with them, they act like victims just to control you, if you keep on talking to them then one feeling bad will be you so i agree with the other comments and i say run! too.
@zsarhea (302)
• Austria
14 Jun 10
Thats right,controlling people whose not even his girlfriend.I am already ignoring him.Thanks for the response...
• Spain
14 Jun 10
no problem, i'm glad to know you are doing the right thing =)
@cip116 (1011)
• Romania
13 Jun 10
He says in SMS that he will change and that was a reaction of "love" for you? You must not believe anything Jealousy is a serious illness ,can have very serious consequences
@lovieron (129)
• Philippines
14 Jun 10
I do agree that jealousy is a serious problem, and those who have been something like that and promise not to be like it anymore were liars.
@zsarhea (302)
• Austria
14 Jun 10
thats really right,i agree to both of you.Its like when a drunk driver caught by a cop and saying "if you gonna give back my licence i promise i wont drink again"that just sounds like him,hahaha
• Philippines
13 Jun 10
These are probably the "first timers" or something. Yeah, i used to be like that at first, the first time i got a long with a girl. but it was just infatuation as the rest of the people who took it the wrong way the first time. ignore him and let him know that you're not in a relationship at all. made that clear to him, am sure he will stop chatting as if he though he has you with out even courting. not your fault really.
@zsarhea (302)
• Austria
13 Jun 10
he is not first timer...he is like 50 yrs old and im just 24 and he supposed to know better than me...thanks for your reply...
• Mexico
13 Jun 10
Hi zsarhea: For me it's just incredible to know how old is he. For the way you told us this story I imagine him as a young guy, a first timer as Letran Knight said. Even with that, it seems to me that this guy even if he has 50 has not learnt how to treat a lady. Thanks for your answer. Have a nice day. ALVARO.
@kukueye (1761)
• Malaysia
14 Jun 10
Sadly the internet is full of these weirdo or sad people who can't handle a true relationship face to face and have to relie and hide they true form behind keyboards and monitors. Better keep far away from these people who are often pity and full of vegencene.Some kind of fatal attraction these people have.However, i do come across of young people who give out false hope and attraction to people especially those are despesrate and too loney for too long kind, giving them too much hope and such.
@zsarhea (302)
• Austria
14 Jun 10
your right!! people online are deceptives and trying to run away from their problems by pretending someone they are not,i mean why lie about your life right?when you can be yourself and let people love you the way you are and not the way you pretended to be...
@skysuccess (8880)
• Singapore
14 Jun 10
zsarhea, As I read your post here, I just could not help to ask you this question at the end: "Just who is he to you?" Please do not take that I am supporting his rash and bashful behavior towards you but I am just wondering what's the fuss about at his end when the both of you don't even seem to have a relationship to start with. Or, was there? Since, you are asking at the end if it was your fault at the end of the day here. IMO, I feel that there's more than it meets the eye between the both of you and if you really want an answer, then start playing reversal roles and ask how better you will be reacting if the deed was switched and his status is saying "i m gonna have a drink with this hot chic i met at the office". And, he becomes like you when you found out that he had gone against your wishes and expectations. Try telling us loud here - how you will react? Sometimes, I feel that you should not be judgmental but understand what you are doing to have caused such a reaction from the other end.
@cupkitties (7489)
• United States
13 Jun 10
No it is not your fault. Hes just a psycho freak. I'd cut him off.
@zsarhea (302)
• Austria
14 Jun 10
i already cut him off,hehe,thanks for the response...
• Mexico
13 Jun 10
Hi zsarhea: Of course you don't have any fault, he simply misunderstood the signs so it's his fault. I think this guy is acting a little bit inmature wanting to control yourself and you are not even his girlfriends. It's ridiculous. I think you should send him an email explaining everything (just if you want) and if he continue with a bad attitude simply delete him from you friend's list. I understand that you might feel angry with him specially because you don't want a person with this behaviour in your life. Thanks for sharing with us this bad experience. Have a nice day. ALVARO.
@zsarhea (302)
• Austria
14 Jun 10
yeah as what i said to the other response,he just wanna control me and want me to feel bad for him but i really didnt do anything for him to feel that way...i was so real,true to our friendship and i didnt expect he will act like that...
@cream97 (29163)
• United States
14 Jun 10
Hi, zsarhea. No, it is not your fault at all. This boy needs to get over the fact that he cannot have you. You never told him that he was your boyfriend at all. He really needs to leave you alone! He was so wrong to curse you out! Ban him from bothering you. Do what you have to do. I don't know what is wrong with some men now. They just don't know the meaning of the word, no.
@juicekodai (1122)
• Philippines
13 Jun 10
hahaha.. yeah, i met a someone like that... there was this guy in college, who really wanted to court me but didnt have the guts... too bad for him... lol we never really talked personaly in school since he was a little intimidated to talk to me and i dont know why.. haha we talked online sometimes... when he found out that i am already dating someone, he got mad... he was asking me why i didnt tell him, blah blah blah... i got irritated and answered him back... we never even had a relationship.. lol.. he said i was mean, i told him i just answered his questions.. lol anyway, if he annoys you, ignore him.. lol