Do you cry over the spilled milk?

By Bala
@balasri (26537)
India
June 27, 2010 11:45am CST
Or just march on in life paying no attention to the bad happening thinking that it is a waste of time lamenting on the mistakes that cannot be reversible.
4 people like this
18 responses
@derek_a (10874)
28 Jun 10
Well I guess sometimes we all get to regret things that have happened, but a you say, crying over the past is a waste of time. There is only the moment of now, and that is constantly moving. There is no past, no future only now. Stay focused and aware in the Zen tradition, and there will be no crying over spilled milk as it is an illusion! _Derek
3 people like this
@balasri (26537)
• India
5 Jul 10
That is a good one Derek.I like what you have said that 'now' is the constant thing.So true.
1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
28 Jun 10
It is one of my life lessons not to cry over spilt milk but to put mistakes behind me and move forward. I have always been inclined to feel guilty over the slightest error and to end up ‘paralysed’ because of it. I am learning that guilt is a useless emotion and to cry over milk that has been spilled is a waste of time.
2 people like this
@balasri (26537)
• India
5 Jul 10
So true Paula.
1 person likes this
@biggerb (2024)
• India
5 Jul 10
I used to sit and lament earlier now luckily I dont do that.Now I tell myself if something bad has happened it must have been for a reason, this kind of attitude makes me march ahead instead of getting bogged down.I keep telling myself that 'Time is like a river' the flow just keeps going its never going to come back . I guess thats why they say, 'Yesterday is history,Tomorrow a mystery.Today is a gift.Thats why its called the present.I tell yself' Live and savor every moment.. this is not a dress rehearsal.'Morover you can't change the past but you can ruin the present by worrying over it.So I just say whatever has happenend has happenend for a good cause things lifts me up and gets me going.
@balasri (26537)
• India
5 Jul 10
Wow.If you could start an ashram and tell things like that you sure can mint millions.People need words of truth like this very very badly. And since I find this as a wonderful response I give you the BR which you deserve very much.
1 person likes this
@balasri (26537)
• India
5 Jul 10
And can you see that I have achieved something today?
1 person likes this
@biggerb (2024)
• India
5 Jul 10
Thanks.I did notice your GREAT ACHIEVEMENT.CONGRATS to you and good luck too.It is indeed no mean feat.You deserve a big applause.Great going keep up the wonderful work you are doing.I know you seem to be enjoying yourself here.Wishing you much more wonderful times like these.God Bless.
@dpk262006 (58673)
• Delhi, India
28 Jun 10
HI Bala! I do not cry over spilled or split milk because I know, once it has spilled, I cannot do anything. I see to it that how I could proceed further.
2 people like this
@balasri (26537)
• India
5 Jul 10
That's the spirit Deepak.
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
28 Jun 10
Hi bala! I try to let things go, but I'm pretty stubborn and sometimes it's difficult. But, at this point of my life I don't need to bother wasting time on what could have been. You can't chance the past, but you can enjoy and learn to move on to the present.
2 people like this
@balasri (26537)
• India
5 Jul 10
We all do mellow with age Opal.
@kiran8 (15348)
• Mangalore, India
28 Jun 10
Hi balasri, I know fully well that there is no point in crying over spilt milk, but there are times when I do cry over it when I feel overcome by certain things that seem to haunt you forever in life.I wish that I could live life all over and undo all those past mistakes and foloies ( wishful thinking !). However I am a positive person and prefer most of the time not to look back but firmly at the present and future - all the best and have a great day
@balasri (26537)
• India
5 Jul 10
A great attitude.Have a great day Kiran.
@SViswan (12051)
• India
28 Jun 10
Since I have been introspecting lately and also helping a friend get over a few personal problems, I can safely vouch that I do not cry over spilt milk. I prefer to clean up and move on...seriously...but sometimes it does affect me when people force me to cry over spilt milk...or stop my from cleaning up and moving on. It might not be reversible but one can learn from their mistakes. I believe we should look at the issue...understand what went wrong (if at all it did)...make the necessary changes in ourselves (if needed) and just move on and not look back.
1 person likes this
@SViswan (12051)
• India
28 Jun 10
Unless one has been constantly spilling the milk (then there's something to think about), we need to be able to forget about it and move on. I've also seen sometimes that when the one who has spilt the milk is ready to forget and move on...others do not allow him/her to.
2 people like this
@balasri (26537)
• India
5 Jul 10
That makes an interesting reading.I just read it twice and enjoyed.Good response.
@SViswan (12051)
• India
6 Jul 10
lol..I'm sure it must have confused you. Were you able to put it in perspective and understand what I meant? Sometimes, I manage to confuse myself and not be clear about what I want to say.
@kalav56 (11464)
• India
28 Jun 10
I do not exactly cry over spilled milk but I would be lying if I say that I would not have regrets. I have lost certain important relationships , never to get them back to the old footing but I have derived certain lessons from this and I take this as an important lesson in life as to how I must conduct myself in future.What is done is done and it cannot be undone.I march on carrying some imprtant lessons and a twinge of regret deep within my heart.It is God's will and had to happen.I comfort myself with the thought.
1 person likes this
@balasri (26537)
• India
28 Jun 10
Rightly said Kala.As you say we are not the true saints and not that insensitive to the bad things that are happening to us.As you say we learn from our wrong doings and carry on with our life without wallowing in sorrow.
@meemingNEW (2226)
• Philippines
27 Jun 10
Most of the time, I don't.. but there are just times wherein you can't control yourself. That only bursting and crying your heart out again can make you feel a bit better. Yeah it is irreversible and that you can't change it already. All you can do is just move on, move forward and start anew.. Best of luck
1 person likes this
@balasri (26537)
• India
28 Jun 10
That's a very fair and reasonable statement.
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
27 Jun 10
There might be some regrets but I never cry over spilled milk. Accidents do happen and on every mistakes encountered we gain beneficial lessons from them. Didn't they say we learn from mistakes and they make us stronger to handle life problems.
@balasri (26537)
• India
28 Jun 10
You are resolutely correct Zandi.
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
28 Jun 10
balasri I do some of both but I have learned that marching on and not wasting time boohooing and praying to God works really well. He takes 'his sweet time but he does hear us. My son was out of work for a year and a half. but a week this Wednesday he got a good job from an old friend he had worked with 12 years ago. The moment his old friend heard my son was out of work he hired him. thats called networking and it does work.,so I try not to cry over spilled milkas it doesn't change a darned thing.
1 person likes this
@kalav56 (11464)
• India
28 Jun 10
That is great Hatley and it is very important that one has a proper network.THis is why we need to maintain good relationships all the time.I am very happy for you and your son and if you forgive the anticlimax , for your new avataar too.
• United States
5 Jan 11
I dont usually cry over spilled milk however there have been some times in my life where the milk gets spilled repeatedly and after awhile there appears to be too much to clean up easily and its overwhelming so yes I have cried over spilled milk on occassion
@dian21 (606)
• Philippines
28 Jun 10
It depends on the situation. Sometimes if what happened has great impact against me, I tend to cry, but for just a while. After a while, I'll try to reflect not to repeat it again and then move on. But I don't cry for just small things. I tend to think about what happened but will not cry for small things. Yes there are things that we can't change anymore, but tring to reflect can make us avoid those things to happen again.
1 person likes this
@balasri (26537)
• India
5 Jul 10
Yeah we learn a lot from the mistakes.
@novajauq (16)
• Philippines
27 Jun 10
I'm a certified cry-baby and I cry for the stupidest reason :D Crying over something that you've done or regret that you haven't done is natural - it only shows that you've learned something through that experience. To march on without paying attention to the negative consequence of your actions may seem like a tough thing to do, but in my opinion, it is the coward's way of escaping accountability. It's okay to regret your actions, just as long as you learn from your mistake. However, to wallow in self-pity and blame yourself repeatedly for that mistake is another story.
1 person likes this
@balasri (26537)
• India
28 Jun 10
Right .Learning is the key word.
@Mirita (2668)
• United States
27 Jun 10
I usually don't even make a big deal on something so insignificant ,so I just clean the mess and serve myself another glass of milk.
@williamjisir (22819)
• China
28 Jun 10
I think it is useless crying over spilled milk. So I march on without letting it affect my marching steps. It is better for us to learn something from the lesson and make some improvement for future successes. Have a good day, balasri.
@allknowing (130113)
• India
28 Jun 10
I will not be in a hurry to march on but will certainly do some introspection and see what caused it so that such a thing does not happen again as far as possible but will not lament over it.
@lissa12p (99)
• Philippines
28 Jun 10
We're only human and as one...I do cry over my mistakes. It's my way of releasing the guilt/sorrow/pain. And after having enough (hehe) I make it a point to settle it, accept the facts and the consequences of my actions. I let the pain sip through every part of me so I'll be brave enough to handle whatever there is I'm about to face. And making the pain a reminder, an instrument not to commit the same mistake again.