my mom is not taking meal at noon
By shibham
@shibham (16977)
India
June 28, 2010 4:41am CST
hi everyone. sorry to say that my mom has not taken her meal at noon although she has cooked various items for us. my fault.
situation can be changed at any moment. just hour ago, i was busy in commenting back to the responses that i have received on my latest dis as "can you climb a tree". my mom and sister was watching their favorite serial on tv just beside me. then i said to them that i am going to start a discussion asking about the worst punishment of parents that my mylot friends have gotten. in return, my sister asked about those punishment on me. i have exposed those ultimate punishments that i got. eventually my mom became nervous and silent. i went to bathroom and sat on dinning table. as our daily routine, my mom takes her meal later but when we( father,me and sister) completed our meal and did not seen her ready for the meal, then my sister asked her what happened? she answered nothing and " i dont want to take this meal". why?
i know the reason. those that i have exposed makes my mom worried and frustrated. i know she will be weak and begin to yawn later. but what i should do? now i am suffering from regret.
what are your comments in this regard? have you ever made your parents distressed? is it true that sometimes truth may be dangerous? do u think that i am totally guilty here?
she is lying on her bed now.
waiting for your comments. thanks in advance.
2 people like this
12 responses
@Sreekala (34312)
• India
28 Jun 10
Hello Shibham,
How are you?
I am sorry to know that your mother is showing her disappointment or hurts by refusing to have her meal. It is not a good practice but it is a usual weapon of ladies (lol).
I don’t know what she really felt on your remarks. Either she felt hurt on thinking about the harsh punishments given to you when you were a kid or she must felt hurt on knowing that still you are remembering the worst punishments. Anyway it is true, she felt hurt much. You please tell her that you really don’t mean it in a serious way and just explained one incident to your sister. Tell her that you are not taking it as seriously and it is her right to give punishments for her loving kids for their better future. I am sure she will be alright after listening an apology from you. She is your mother and she can understand your regrets.
Waiting to hear the good news soon
I am sorry to know that your mother is showing her disappointment or hurts by refusing to have her meal. It is not a good practice but it is a usual weapon of ladies (lol).
I don’t know what she really felt on your remarks. Either she felt hurt on thinking about the harsh punishments given to you when you were a kid or she must felt hurt on knowing that still you are remembering the worst punishments. Anyway it is true, she felt hurt much. You please tell her that you really don’t mean it in a serious way and just explained one incident to your sister. Tell her that you are not taking it as seriously and it is her right to give punishments for her loving kids for their better future. I am sure she will be alright after listening an apology from you. She is your mother and she can understand your regrets.
Waiting to hear the good news soon
1 person likes this
@shibham (16977)
• India
28 Jun 10
hi sree.
not so fine as that situation has occurred.
i think she felt hurts knowing that i am still remembering the worst punishment that she gave. i am damn sure coz she has complained to my father as same in this regard. i know my mom is the main basement for my current status. u know i am a professor now and she had the complete effort to make me so. hence, i respect her and never wish to hurt but i dont know how it has happened.
again, this is my ultimate weakness that i cant regret in words in front of someone even i cant console anyone suffering this type of situation. u may say me stone heartened, may be i am. i regret myself or punish myself but never sit near that person to some hours/days.
i hope she will be easy with me later. now i am going to outside of my home yet it is raining. i think i need some mental freeness and loneliness.
take care. meet u very soon.
1 person likes this
@Sreekala (34312)
• India
29 Jun 10
I can understand your character but it is not good to punish yourself. I know you just said the same not expecting such a consequence but anyway it happened and you can’t take it back your words. But you can tell the same to your sister and I think she can convey the same to your mother without any problem. I hope you will come out of this dilemma very soon and wish for the same.
@babyEj (1522)
• Philippines
30 Jun 10
hi shibham, got back again...
I am seeing my self to you when I was a bit younger. I can't say "sorry" to a person personally. I can't even sAy the words "thank you", I just smiled on behalf. But I tried once, again , and again. So, now I can successfully sAY my appreciation and ask forgiveness.
The incident just wanted to challenge yourself if you can do it. I know you can. Your love must taken you over with the shyness of consoling her. I think your mother is looking for consoler and care giver to make her feel she was understood. GO shibham, you can do it! Hope to hear the next page...
1 person likes this
@med889 (5941)
•
28 Jun 10
I remember once my mother cried because of me and it was awful, she refused to take food also, then I had to go and pacify her and bring the food to her room, well even mothers do this to their kids, so I went in her room and I apologized and things were not quite good at the beginning as she was not talking to me very well but then after some days everything was back to normal.
@shibham (16977)
• India
28 Jun 10
hi med...
i dont know why some moms become so rigid to their children. who need to be more soft heartened? a son or daughter or a mom? it is a big riddle for me why they react so as they are more older than us? why they cant excuse us for our behaviors which may not be all good? i think that they pretend not to take a meal showing their anger or resentment.
if their son/daughter do anything wrong as regret or finding themselves guilty, then?
anyway. thanks for response. take care.
@cream97 (29087)
• United States
24 Jul 10
Hi, shibham. Well, I think that this would make your mom feel very bad if you started a discussion about the worst punishment that you have gotten. She may think that you may tell others what happened to you when you were younger. And, don't reveal anything that you know will hurt her in the end. Your mom withdrew herself because her buried memories of how she has treated you will resurface and make her feel like a monster. Just refrain from starting a discussion about this, especially with her knowing all about it.
@abin1287 (114)
• India
28 Jun 10
Yaa it feels really bad when you hurt your parents.
It feels even bad when something like this happens...like they dont eat the food , etc.We get full of regret, but still are not able to convey that we did not mean to hurt them.And even if we do convey , they still would feel bad about it, even if they don't let us know.
Truth can be dangerous , but in its own terms, like as a sudden reaction it will turn out to be dangerous, but later on we feel that what we did was right and it had had be that way. And the parents also understand it later, that its the truth. and they will be proud of you..that at least you had the heart to say it to them...
I think your mom will be fine, just try to be alert in the future..that you don't hurt them...and even if you have to say something..then dosayit in a way that it wont hurt them..!!
1 person likes this
@christiana81 (717)
• Romania
29 Jun 10
I thonk I make my mom distressed so many times. When I was a child i like it spend my time with my grandfather... he was very patient, answer to all my questions...I do evrythink i wanted. She suffered because I don't wanted stay with her. Now, there is a gap between generation, we have different ideas ...about living live. I think better is to listen and try to help our parents even we have our own style of live.
@shibham (16977)
• India
1 Jul 10
well christiana..
yes, i have also distressed my mom various times by my words, works and so on. i know the grandfather/mother and grandson/daughter relationships but i am unlucky that i have not met my grand fathers in my life to ask all queries as you.
yeah. as we are young enough and know how to act in life, we have right to live our own style to some extend. i am agree with you.
@dragon54u (31636)
• United States
28 Jun 10
I know you feel badly but it's part of being a mother. Although my son doesn't remember it, I spanked him once and I'm still haunted by the look on his face, his tears. It is agony for me. I think this might be what your mother was feeling and if so it's no wonder she did not want to eat. You can't do anything about this except tell her that you forgive her and love her. She will still be haunted but knowing that you at last had a conversation about it will ease the pain a little.
@shibham (16977)
• India
1 Jul 10
hi dragon
no, i have no pain for that punishment but i just want to say all mothers here that there is no need to be harsh to your children as u have many ways to teach them how to behave or work. punishment is not the only process to raise a child for a better future. i never accept it.
as you regret now, i think my mom too but why to regret? why you dont wish some another step to take herewith?
i shall inform you later what punishment was that?
have a nice day.
@cupkitties (7421)
• United States
29 Jun 10
Well punishment is not something that parents dance around in joy about. She might have felt ashamed but she'll get over it. Hopefully. I'd not bring the subject up again unless she's like one of those women who holds a grudge for ever. For people that are saying that us women do the not eating as pretend lol uh no its not. I get that way when I'm highly upset and its because I literally can not eat. I have to wait til I'm calm.
@shibham (16977)
• India
1 Jul 10
hi cupkitties.
ohhh... u have the same habit as my mom. u know, its one kind of self torture.
i think she feels a grudge now for those acts that she did it with me. not she ashamed, she hurts as she had discovered me remembering those acts still today. i know it that those were too harsh to bear as i was a kid that time and perhapos when i reminded her she might have found herself guilty.
have a nice day.
@eurekafemme (5877)
• Philippines
28 Jun 10
Hi, Shibham.
Why was she stressed with your revelations? WhaT did she do to you then?
Anyway, yes, truth can be dangerous especially if it is an ugly truth just like the punishments you had received from your parents. Sometimes, it is better to be left unsaid because when we do, it will trigger more emotional strains than good. It is not a good thing to remember. And pretty sure, your Mum regreted having done those punishments to you.
Well, do something. Offer her peace offering and tell her that you are sorry. You can serve her her meals in bed. serve it yourself. I'm pretty sure she will be happy about it. It will give her the assurance that you are no longer taking what you've been through in past against her.
If she refuse to eat full meal. Then, offer her a milk. Does she drink milk? I hope she does.:-)
Cheer up, dear.;-)
@shibham (16977)
• India
1 Jul 10
hi eureka..
i cant say that punishment publicly. sorry. whatever she did it was too nasty to speak. sorry again.
no, everything we should remember but we should care some of them too heartly. i think she regret now but i am damn sure that she was too harsh in case of punish me.
yeah. as the days have passed by. now she is normal with me. but whatever you have said to do with her are totally out of my behavior. may be i am stupid, but i am something different.
thanks for response. have a nice day. sorry for being late.
@mario_stevens (6971)
• Malaysia
28 Jun 10
hmm...maybe your mum is just a bit sad or depressed about something else? i found out that we as the grown up children sometimes 'over analyze' what our elders are doing and how they react. what we may assume to be our fault may sometimes be someone else's or due to something else altogether..
i love my parents. and sometimes they too get distressed & stressed over me. but i did open up the lines of communication long ago by reminding them time and again that if for any reason that they are unhappy with me, please do voice it out and let me know. i told them to never let me assume, especially when it comes to things concerning them, as i do not want to assume the wrong thing and do something else entirely..
hope you mum is ok and that she will have something to eat soon..
@shibham (16977)
• India
1 Jul 10
hi mario.
yes, u are right. that type of self analysis may push us to some unwanted situation as i were days ago. i dont think why some parents always try to raise their children with a tough hand? why they dont try it being polite and adorable? its a big riddle for me.
yes, sometimes it happens to me too. i find myself guilty to may parents doing some unnecessary acts. it hurts them as well and later i have to regret a lot.
yeah. she is ok now
thanks. have a great day always.
@dian21 (606)
• Philippines
29 Jun 10
definitely she felt bad of what she learned. She was disappointed but I think it is just normal. She will understand sooner or later and will return to her daily routine as if there's nothing happened. Many times we hurt our parents' feelings but they just really have unconditional love that they will all understand and accept in the long run whatever we have done to them, even it is very painful for them.
@shibham (16977)
• India
1 Jul 10
hi dian..
very true and here is that instance as she is normal with me now. that night, we bith take our meal in a same dinning table.
i know she regretted for what she did with me and when she understood that i had no fault whether i am remembering all those events.
have a nice day.
@Kifndir (23)
• United States
28 Jun 10
don't worry, she is going to get over it. u see, her feelings might be hurt, but time can cure anything. well it would be better if u try to conffert her. but, accroding to my experiences, it dosen't really help. what u need is actions, show that u loves her, show how much u appreciate all the work she've done for all these years.
@shibham (16977)
• India
1 Jul 10
hi kifndir.... nice avatar.
yeah. she is east with me now as i was far long away from her for 36 hours. i think she regretted that time as me and accept me easily when i returned back to my home last night.
yeah. she better knows that i acknowledge her great efforts and dedications to make me a better person now.
have a great day always.
