Never under estimate...
By deemple
@deemple (191)
Philippines
July 2, 2010 11:06pm CST
what can you say about a mistress?A woman who ignores her dignity,even put herself to shame for the sake of what she is fighting for?I am a wife,I'm not perfect,and nobody is.I know how it hurts when betrayed.But i also asked myself a lot of questions,where did I go wrong?I might not have functioned as a perfect wife,but i do pretty well as a Mom.The duty of a wife & a Mom is a tough job.No questions about it.This is where husband neglects to understand.Men more often are weaker than women to face facts of life.They tend to divert into a situation that would make the whole thing complicated.This is where the mistress takes place.They belong to the Options.More often worried & scared of the people around them,but trying to be brave and strong for self protection.They often forget the illegitimacy of the relationship,they often go beyond the limit for self-interests.In my simple mind,i also understand them as victims of consequences.It's unacceptable though,but why not set free of your man when things go like this?For me,love doesn't exist anymore.why not set free and give them the chance to be together and live the life the way they wanted?As a betrayed wife,one has to move on.Life doesn't end when you lost a husband or a wife,a girlfriend or a boyfriend.We deserved to be happy in our own way too.after all we live but once.Be light,be bright.Be yourself but not a martyr.
1 person likes this
7 responses
@gahthuy1 (27)
• Philippines
3 Jul 10
I may not be a good adviser about this since have not experience it however I know for sure that the pain is excruciating. It hurts to know that someone you love has found someone to turn his eye on aside from you. whether it is true or not, it still hurts.Just as long as you stood by your children, that's what matters most.
@deriellevc73 (982)
• Philippines
18 Jul 10
hello deemple!
i understand how you feel and i know how hard it is to understand that the man who had pledged to loved and protect you had betrayed you for somebody else. This is very hard to accept especially if you have a fairly happy life with your partner and then suddenly you discover that you are sharing him with another woman, with another family!
The pain is something i cannot even began to describe with. At first, it consumes you with so much anger and hatred that you can't even think straight and everyone seems like the enemy. You will even doubt yourself as the culprit for the wrong doings of your partner."what have i done to deserve this? where did i go wrong?" and so on and so forth.
However, after all the blames and anger, if you calm down and think it over, you have no really part to the whole betrayal. You did nothing wrong to deserve such. You see, people are not perfect, you are not perfect and your husband is not perfect. But that is not enough reason for him to find someone else.
After everything, it all .comes down to the moral values of your partner. Man they say are polygamous in nature , but there are many exceptions to this. However, your husband belongs to the majority, who betrays their wife, for no apparent reason except maybe to taste other varieties? for the thrill? to insist that they are macho beings? to prove that that they are the lord of the house? whatever is their reason, it is not enough to pacify one's wife.
You are right in your decision to move on, without your partner. If he feels that he is much happier with his mistress, then fine, let him be. However, you have the discretion not to accept him any longer should he ever want to come back to you and you have every right to find yourself someone who will respect and honor you as you deserve to be.
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
3 Jul 10
This is one question that no one can give me definite answer too.
Why there are woman who never think about dignity and morale for the sake of what they called love?
Maybe it is love,but not with the right person and right time.
Mistress broke so many homes and marriage life (it is proven)
Where did a wife goes wrong?...i don't think a wife did ever goes wrong.
Marriage is about sanctity,being a wife and a mother is not an easy task.
Men should understand their wives,and not to betray.
Ok granting,wife do have shortcomings,it is becoz kids are around to be cared for.
Sometimes wives forgot to care for themselves due to houseworks and child caring.
This is one aspect that the husband must see,and,it is the husband's obligation to take care of his wife too.
I am also a wife and a mother,and it's not easy to be a good wife and a mother at the same time.
But,every wife always tried their best to be one,maybe not perfect.
And for the mistress,they won't understand the pain of being betrayed unless same thing happens to them.
And you are right,letting go is the best way when husband betrayed the wife.
Life never ends with separation,but maybe a start if a new and more happy life.
Don't be sad,be strong and be thankful,it's not you who made sin,it's them.
Let them face the punishment in God's time.
Have a good day and happy mylotting too
@ydb777 (36)
• United States
3 Jul 10
I was also betrayed as a wife, and it was not only the mistress who was insecure, but I believe that my husband had to have issues to in order to be unfaithful to a beautiful woman who loved him and gave him her all even gave him two beautiful boys. But life does go on, and if anything you learn that you really dont know people as well as you think you do, and what you thought you wanted in a mate when you married that loser, you really didnt want after all. We deserve so much more. Never settle.
@apoljuice1 (730)
• Philippines
3 Jul 10
I'm sorry about your situation. It happens, and I see it happen with some of my friends, most of which aren't really strong in their opinions in life. I see them going with the flow, letting them be taken with the tide. They are aware of what they are doing, they know that it's wrong, but they're having too much fun to stop. It almost cost one of my friends his job, and his colleagues and superiors almost became questionable in evaluating his capacity to do the job just because they wanted to prove a point. Well, thankfully he got the point, and decided to stop the relationship. But in situations like this, I don't think there's much you can do aside from focusing on your children and yourself. Just pray for him, and hope that in time he will realize his mistakes. And if really wasn't meant to be, pray that things will work out for you and your children better this time around. Goodluck and God Bless!
@lantisred (77)
• Philippines
4 Jul 10
There are so many factors why a relationship ends up in a way that the post said. We cannot disregard each and every factor involved to put out blame in one person in a relationship. It is always a two way street, if one errs and the other does not forgive and forget, then the relationship goes to a point in time where it can be broken. Love should be nurtured. Love should forgive sins. Love should forget wrongs. Why do one had a mistress? Is the blame on one person alone? Did we look at tyhe situation in a balanced point of view? Or we looked at it in a way that we, the one being cheated, is the victim. If we look at it in the latter way, then we look at his error more and not at what errors we have done. Sorry if I am not giving a good advice here, I have not experienced it, I am a man and a husband and a father. God bless.
@rhodzptc (1317)
• Philippines
3 Jul 10
That was very encouraging life lessons you've got. I like your ideology and the way you handle things of your own, the way you express yourselves and thoughts. I never experience it before but I know a lot of people most of them are a close friends and relatives of mine whose family was broken because of this third party. There are others are just keeping together just only for the sake of the children but both of them have different partners.
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
3 Jul 10
hi deemple yes I do agree you make perfect sense. if its over its
over so set him free and yourself free too. you may find someone
who really loves you for you and will not play around but respect'
you and care for you alone. And won't that be nice for a change.I
am so glad this has never happened to me as I would have been so
heartbroken.
