Does my OPINION bother you?
@beaniefanatic13 (5076)
Grand Junction, Colorado
July 31, 2010 5:18pm CST
I read a discussion a few days back in where the poster of the discussion posted about a somewhat serious issue, although their opinion was far different than mine. I went to leave a response to the discussion and found that someone with my similar views had already left a response leaving really nothing for me to add. However, the poster had come back and with a lengthily rude comment, didn't flame but was quite rude, the responder came back to defend his/her response and again the poster was rude again. This went back and forth several times, the responder remaining calm and the poster yelling at times. It got me to thinking though, why do you post a discussion? Do you only want to hear from people that think the same as you? Are you not open to others points of view? Does our opinion truly not matter? Why does it bother you so much to read a response from a different angle? Especially a response that is done in one that isn't done to be rude, but to say a different side. Is your opinion right and ours are wrong? I get it when someone comes into a discussion and is rude to you for what you believe, but to come in and respond with one’s own opinion in a polite fashion and then to be attacked for ones opinion is wrong. Are you angry because maybe there was a hint of truth to the other side of the story? Just wondering what others think about this?
9 people like this
41 responses
@Laurelle11 (409)
• Australia
31 Jul 10
I agree with you, why bother posting a discussion if you don't want to hear all other opinions whether they agree with you or not. You may as well just talk to yourself, at least then no one would disagree.lol
@beaniefanatic13 (5076)
• Grand Junction, Colorado
31 Jul 10
Talk to yourself, so long as you don't have a multiple personality disorder this could work well.@beaniefanatic13 (5076)
• Grand Junction, Colorado
1 Aug 10
@ sagar, is that because you have multiple personalities or because you don't want to hear the opinions of others?
@rosekiss (30380)
• Eugene, Oregon
9 Oct 15
I don't understand why people are like that. They must realize that not everyone is going to agree with them, and that is okay, as we all should have a right to express our opinion, whether right or wrong, and without criticism as well. I have come across that once, from a poster of a discussion, and it got to the point that everything I posted, he contradicted not to mention, he flat out told me I was wrong. I finally decided that he wasn't worth my time, so I just blocked him, and I haven't had to see his posts, or deal with him since. 
2 people like this
@beaniefanatic13 (5076)
• Grand Junction, Colorado
9 Oct 15
The block feature is a nice addition to mylot. I have not had to use it since it's introduction.
1 person likes this
@rosekiss (30380)
• Eugene, Oregon
9 Oct 15
@beaniefanatic13 A lot of users probably will never use it, but under some circumstances, it is worth using, to keep the peace.
1 person likes this
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
31 Jul 10
Wow, I guess touchy people is the reason I don't go into a discussion that. So, the poster wasn't rude to you? Maybe they had problems with this mylotter before or something, I don't know..
@beaniefanatic13 (5076)
• Grand Junction, Colorado
31 Jul 10
No not to me, but had I responded to the discussion as I intended yes they would have, since what this responder said was pretty much my opinion also. I don't know if I would have been as polite as the original responder was to all that rudeness because the second comment I believe was even ruder and they still remained in control. Kudos to this mylotter for taking the rudeness in stride.
1 person likes this
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
1 Aug 10
Yeah, I am not one to let it go so easily which is why I try to stay out of touchy topics..
2 people like this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
2 Aug 10
hi b eanie I love to hear different opinions than mine as thats what a
discussion is for to gather different voices and enjoy talking it over
so to sp eak. I value others opinions, and hope they also respect mine, so I may not change my opinion but love to hear other opinions too. Also at times I learn something that may enlarge my own opinion or ultimately change it,but I hate it when someone starts your opinion is stupid and I know this is all wrong, here's why blah blah blah. now that's rude, and not allowed on here as its flaming. we should respect each others rights to have their own opinions. Also I often learn new things from my fellow my lotters.
his is all wrong, here's why blah blah blah. now that's rude, and not allowed on here as its flaming. we should respect each others rights to have their own opinions. Also I often learn new things from my fellow my lotters.2 people like this
@beaniefanatic13 (5076)
• Grand Junction, Colorado
1 Aug 10
A saphrina, Yes some have no manners and others have an abundance. I would never bark up your tree.
thanks...
@lacieice (2060)
• United States
1 Aug 10
That happened to me right after I started here. I responded to a discussion with my opinion, and was told that no one had to worry about being wrong because I was here to straighten it out, and I thought "what did I do wrong?"
I had never even heard of this person before, so I was amazed at that response. I decided they were probably having a bad day, and just let it go, although I did make a remark about attitude.
I don't like people to be rude. All are entitled to their own opinions, and a healthy discussion covers all sides of an issue. Rudeness should not come into it.
2 people like this
@beaniefanatic13 (5076)
• Grand Junction, Colorado
2 Aug 10
A healthy discussion is something I'm always looking for here. Those are the fun ones, where you can jump around and give your opinion and others respond back with theirs. Sorry that you had to deal with that shortly after arriving here and gald they didn't scare you off. Thank you for your perspective.
@Asylum (47893)
• Manchester, England
8 Oct 15
Not only am I content with someone posting their opinion to my discussions, I welcome a different opinion to mine as long as it is presented well. Any response that adds something to a discussion improves it, irrespective of which view they possess.
As for someone protesting about being disagreed with, I would certainly not have continued to reply because that would simply benefit the poster of the discussion.
I suspect that the rude attitude may have been intended to illicit plenty of interaction.
1 person likes this
@Asylum (47893)
• Manchester, England
9 Oct 15
@beaniefanatic13 I agree entirely, despite the fact that without disagreement or varied opinions it does not really constitute a discussion.
1 person likes this
@beaniefanatic13 (5076)
• Grand Junction, Colorado
9 Oct 15
@Asylum, how boring would life be if we all thought the same way.
@beaniefanatic13 (5076)
• Grand Junction, Colorado
9 Oct 15
I do believe that some people just like to be mean and argue. The only opinion that is right in their eyes is their own.
@beaniefanatic13 (5076)
• Grand Junction, Colorado
1 Aug 10
That is what this mylotter did was move on, I admire their ability to stay calm though especially under the circumstances. I fear that most would not have remained as polite.
@laglen (19759)
• United States
1 Aug 10
I agree about the rudeness, I really try not to be rude, I post discussions because I actually do want to hear other points of view. It is my opinion that this is the best way to learn. Let me say that if/when I am rude or appear to be, please call me on it. I get very annoyed with people that attack others on Mylot. Politics is the worst and I know a lot of people will not respond in this interest because people are mean. I dont care if people come down on me, but being mean and rude to others really is not necessary.
@beaniefanatic13 (5076)
• Grand Junction, Colorado
4 Aug 10
I know what you mean by they started it, and while it may not be mature, it's human nature. It puts us in a defensive mode, when some one comes at us after voicing our opinion, rudely.
@beaniefanatic13 (5076)
• Grand Junction, Colorado
2 Aug 10
I think that your always polite even when others have a different view. If I ever notice that your rude I will ask, but I doubt that will happen, we also tend to have the same views. Politics is one that I see a lot of rudeness in, it always seems to provoke the worst in people, and religion. I don't think that you have to be rude to others to make your point even when different than the majority. Just my way of thinking. Usually that is.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (159296)
• Boise, Idaho
1 Aug 10
I think that psychologically people would rather be agreed with than have someone be totally against whatever it is we are saying. Especially when we are trying to get some very personal ideas and feelings across. Alot of the more enraged and emotional rants are not set down to have any opposition but to have others make us feel better not oppose our views.
@beaniefanatic13 (5076)
• Grand Junction, Colorado
1 Aug 10
You have a very valid point, I went back and read the discussion and this person was soliciting responses based on their point of view. It just so happened that one person decided to give a different opinion and that is where it started, while the different opinion wasn't rude they got rudeness for their effort. Thinking back on the ones that I have seen in most cases you know where the discussin starter stands for their opinion so answering otherwise may get you a rude comment back. Correct that people don't like to have their views opposed but how boring a place it would be if we all thought exactly a like. Thank you for your perspective.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (159296)
• Boise, Idaho
2 Aug 10
It sure would be a boring place. Haha
1 person likes this
@rosdimy (3926)
• Malaysia
1 Aug 10
[i]'Yes, your opinion bothers me.
I start a discussion because I know I am 100% right, while the opinion of others are wrong, biased, or faulty.
How do I know I am right? Because I am more knowledgeable than you are. I have an analytical and sharp mind whereas yours cannot see beyond the walls surrounding your thinking. I am mature while you are childish.
Am I rude to you? If that is the way I have to use in order to break down the walls mentioned above, to take off the blinkers that limits your sight, to penetrate through your thick skull.
I am angry because you fail to see my wisdom or superior knowledge on the issue.'[/i]
The above are several of the reasons why some people behave the way they do.
In my case I try to respect the opinion of other people. If they come back in an offensive manner I usually keep quiet. Many times in real life I have been said to be a coward for adopting this attitude.
1 person likes this
@beaniefanatic13 (5076)
• Grand Junction, Colorado
1 Aug 10
You had me going. Yes I have run across a few of the above mentioned types of people through my life I'm glad that it's not that many though. I usually stay quite when the person is one of the above mentioned people, just becasue no matter how articulate and calm I am I will never be able to explain it to them. They do see themselves as far smarter than you.
@RawBill1 (8531)
• Gold Coast, Australia
31 Jul 10
My view is that if you are going to start a discussion that may have people coming back with different views then you have to be open to them thinking differently to you. There is no use asking questions in discussions if you are not prepared to get answers. I do not understand people who let themselves get upset by things online. If whatever you are reading disturbs you then you have the option of not opening it at all. 
A lot of the time when I am reading a discussion in an email, I will respond directly from the email so that I can answer the discussion honestly without any influence from other comments that already may be there. The same goes for when reading them in MyLot directly, I try to avoid scrolling down to see what others are responding with just in case I change my mind. Sometimes I scroll down just to read the comments with no actual intention of answering the discussion myself too if I think the discussion may cause arguments.
A lot of the time when I am reading a discussion in an email, I will respond directly from the email so that I can answer the discussion honestly without any influence from other comments that already may be there. The same goes for when reading them in MyLot directly, I try to avoid scrolling down to see what others are responding with just in case I change my mind. Sometimes I scroll down just to read the comments with no actual intention of answering the discussion myself too if I think the discussion may cause arguments.
1 person likes this
@beaniefanatic13 (5076)
• Grand Junction, Colorado
1 Aug 10
I do go to certain discussions with no intention to respond but to read the responses to the discussion knowing that some are going to be a different view point than the poster, I like to see how others handle their "words" when responding to touchy subjects, some here are very controlled in their responses and others just respond with closed "ears" to what others have to say.
I always read all the responses before leaving my own here, just because I don't want to say what everyone else has already said. I also can jump into other responders boxes to comment on something they have said.
@beaniefanatic13 (5076)
• Grand Junction, Colorado
1 Aug 10
Each of us has our own way of responding, since I really only like to contribute to the discussion with a few new thoughts I prefer to read all before replying. I do know what your saying though as yes I can be somewhat influenced by what others say, so I usually already have thoughts forming when I read the discussion in my email.
I agree that the response boxes can be very rewarding for discussing further whether on the original topic or branched off.
Although others have complained about that also. I think sometimes people just aren't happy unless they have something to complain about.
I agree that the response boxes can be very rewarding for discussing further whether on the original topic or branched off. Although others have complained about that also. I think sometimes people just aren't happy unless they have something to complain about.@RawBill1 (8531)
• Gold Coast, Australia
1 Aug 10
I find that I can alter my true feelings on a matter if I find that someone else has posted pretty much the same as what I was thinking. I would rather give a true perspective of my thoughts. I have done this before though and found that my post was almost identical word for word to the one above it! They might have thought that I had copied it was so similar!
But so be it! I comment in other peoples boxes from time to time too. Sometimes doing that can lead to a more rewarding discussion than the original discussion.
But so be it! I comment in other peoples boxes from time to time too. Sometimes doing that can lead to a more rewarding discussion than the original discussion. 1 person likes this
@Renhard (3471)
• Jamaica
31 Jul 10
I know the feeling and i don't know why some people behave like that. In the past I had a similar problem, and the person gave me a negative rating because of it. I knew it was him because it was the only response i made for a while, and about 2 hours after i responded my star dropped. And that's just wrong. The only time you should rate someone discussion like negative is when it had nothing to deal with the topic. And mine did have something to deal with the topic. Anyway that is why sometimes i am afraid to respond to certain people discussion.
@beaniefanatic13 (5076)
• Grand Junction, Colorado
31 Jul 10
It is absolutely wrong and against DRS to rate another member here a negative for have a difference of opinion. Their have been many discussions about the DSR with no clear solution to this problem. I don't respond to certain discussions started by certain members do to the way they discuss in their discussions, they don't discuss they just want to fight.
@beaniefanatic13 (5076)
• Grand Junction, Colorado
1 Aug 10
They have changed a few things since I started 4 and half years ago. You can't rate until you have reached a rating of 100 and you can only rate 11 times in a day. Not sure if that's a 24 hour day or a mylot day, hopefully someone can come and answer that as it's not in the guidelines or the FAQ's. So maybe mysd, PA, mykl_j, owlings can come in and answer this. GAA can you answer? Is it a mylot day or a 24 hour day for rating others here?
@bluemoonpavilion (4658)
• Singapore
2 Aug 10
Firstly kudos to that reponder for remaining calm throughout that storm. Sounds like one he*l of an argument! I think the poster probably has to check up the meaning of a DISCUSSION. It means "the examination or consideration of a matter in speech or writing" and should be done in a amicable manner. What's the point of getting rude except to invoke anger and how does that help in the discussion?
When I read something I disagree upon, I would read it carefull to see whether it is valid. If it is really unacceptable, I would just accept the person having that viewpoint and not his opinion. That's all it is. There's no need to get so heated up over difference in opinion.
1 person likes this
@beaniefanatic13 (5076)
• Grand Junction, Colorado
2 Aug 10
I was very impressed with is mylotter for not loosing their cool in the discussion. They continued with their way of thinking doing so politely. As always I think that communication in a positive manner is always the best way. We are all unique individuals that hve many differing opinions for a variety of reasons, we shouldn't belittle others because the think differently than us.
@bluemoonpavilion (4658)
• Singapore
2 Aug 10
That is something we can learn from this person.
Those people who replied in a nasty way or used rude words are the black sheep of this website, sooner or later their posts would get ignored by people, so they may get what they deserved later. Let's just be positive and let the good things and persons remain with us. As for the bad ones, they are best ignored.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
2 Aug 10
Hi!
When I start a new post, I get ready for different opinions or opinions what I am thinking. This is the very purpose of starting a discussion that we get to know different opinions and it enlightens us and broaden our vision. I do not take it otherwise, if any of the respondent gives opinion contrary to mine. I take it in good spirit and try to take positive points from his/her response.
dpk
PS - I've added you.
@beaniefanatic13 (5076)
• Grand Junction, Colorado
1 Aug 10
I see it to often here, it leaves people not wanting to leave their opinion as they don't want to have to deal with the rude comments. I don't think in this case that that it's an actual offense as it wasn't flaming just rudely written and childish IMO.
1 person likes this
@mysdianait (66009)
• Italy
1 Aug 10
You have your opinion and I will listen to it. I then expect you to do the same and listen to mine. On some parts we might agree while on others we might not but I respect that you have yours, you are entitled to it , and I hope that you will do likewise.
If you do then we can become great friends even though we may not think things in the same manner but I respect you and admire you for having an opinion and sticking to it, especially if the majority think differently.
You are going to get rude with me? Fine. That too is your choice but don't expect me to get rude back at you. That is not my scene. I shall stay as calm as I was before it happened and continue speaking (typing) calmly to you. You will get even more irked probably - that's your problem not mine
When I see name calling on here that is so low. Whoever resorts to that to argue that their opinion is best can keep it and for me it just proves that it isn't. If they have to go below the belt to stand up for it well, that says it all 
When I see name calling on here that is so low. Whoever resorts to that to argue that their opinion is best can keep it and for me it just proves that it isn't. If they have to go below the belt to stand up for it well, that says it all 1 person likes this
@beaniefanatic13 (5076)
• Grand Junction, Colorado
2 Aug 10
Very well said. We should respectfully listen to others especially when we have invited a diverse community to participate in our discussion. Otherwise why are you posting? Just to have everyone agree with you? This type of discussion really doesn't anger people but other subjects do get peoples dander up, and you should be able to respond back with politeness, even if what was said you don't agree with. Don't shout at the other, explain your view and listen to the views of others. This didn't get to the point of name calling I think becasue the responder showed great restraint, IMO. Not all of handle being yelled at well. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
@dodo19 (47102)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
9 Oct 15
I enjoy reading others' opinion, whether they share my opinion or not. It doesn't matter to me. We should be able to share our opinions, and ncessarily be attacked. I find that it's nice to sometimes read others' opinion, as sometimes others will point something out that I hadn't thought of. If you can't accept that others are going to have different opinions, then maybe it's not a good idea to post here.
1 person likes this
@aevans (255)
• Malaysia
2 Aug 10
Guess the poster just expects to receive such comments like "Yes, you are right" or maybe "I totally agree with you". There is different kind of people out here, it is normal to have different point of view. But, what make all these people think that they are always right? I don't think that we have the right to judge about others opinion. We are here for sharing our thought or idea not expecting a discussion end up with a fight.
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (61047)
• United States
7 May 16
I usually try to stay away from controversy and will avoid making a comment that I think might inflame a situation. I like flowers, sunshine, unicorns and peace lol not very realistic but still I like it.
1 person likes this
@beaniefanatic13 (5076)
• Grand Junction, Colorado
9 May 16
I stay away as well. I like flowers, sunshine, unicorns and peace. 
1 person likes this
