my bestfriend is dating my ex

Philippines
August 1, 2010 11:54am CST
we fell in love...we were inseparable..love was in the air all the time. we were the picture of a perfect couple. always seen together wherever we go. then one day we broke up. whatever happened i don't regret. love just faded away. then as i was moving on with my life and getting over with him and the bitter sweet of the broken relationship, i was told that my bestfriend is dating my ex.WHAT HAPPENED???I thought i lost my place in the world. and then i begun to wonder wat could have happened after all? was she a friend?or she was just waiting along the line..
2 people like this
28 responses
@Angelgirl16 (2174)
• United States
1 Aug 10
Hi s2rybot, What a friend? I think she liked your boyfriend the entire time you two were dating. For her to jump at the opportunity to latch on to him after you broke up is not a coincident. She was just waiting in the wings and to make sure you two don't patch up the relationship she plowed right in and took over where you left off. If you two are just good friends, she should have come to you and asked you if you would be bothered by her dating your ex-boyfriend and if you would be bothered she should not have started a relationship with him. He too is to blame, he cannot dislike you that much, that he would want to hurt you so. Now you have to see the two of them together, that will be hard,especially the first time. I hope she is not considered to still be your best friend.
• Philippines
1 Aug 10
well i lost him long time ago when we broke up. but what pains me more now is that i lost my bestfriend. i could never trust her anymore and there will always be something in between us after what she has done no matter how sorry she will be(tho until now i think she is not so sorry after all).i just hate them both
• United States
2 Aug 10
Hi s2rybot, I know how you must be feeling, but don't let hating them keep you from having a full life. Move on and just remember the lesson of trust. Sometimes the people you trust the most are the ones who will stab you in the back. You had no control over their chooses. Lets see how long this relationship last. Wish them well and move on.
• United States
2 Aug 10
I have two stories to coincide with your dilemma. The first is really not a big deal for me. It was shocking at first, but I look back and I saw it coming. My little sister set me up with this guy because he liked her and she said she wanted him distracted so he would leave her alone. I did her the favor and found out I really liked him. We dated for a while but it didn't work out. About six months ago they got engaged...a week after she turned 18. Now I know why she pushed him off on me. She didn't want her mom to know that he was interested so she used me as a cover-up until she was old enough to be with him. She always acted like she couldn't stand the guy...little did we know that she has been head over heals for him since she was 14. They are really happy and I am happy for them. The next story hits closer to home. I have two children with a man that I never married. We were engaged for a long time but the timing was just never right. He kept finding reasons to put it off. A lot has happened since we split up 5 years ago. The part that killed me was last August he got married to someone else. This someone was a woman I considered to be a good friend. I am not angry that they got married...I am angry that he sees something in her that he never saw in me when we have two great kids together. It really hurts and makes me question whether or not he ever loved me.
• Philippines
2 Aug 10
i can relate to your second story too. i mean im not talking this ex that i am telling here. i am talking about the father of my kids. your story goes the same way as mine. i think i am always left behind..
@elmiko (6635)
• United States
1 Aug 10
i say she had feelings for your ex at the time you were still with him. that's my opinion at the least.
• Philippines
1 Aug 10
i think of it that way too. she could have waited in line to catch him wen i ditched the guy.
@vhings_88 (294)
• Philippines
1 Aug 10
Well it really hurts knowing that your best friend is dating your man. I think its part of GIRLS code "you don't date your friends ex". If it happens to me, I'll really feel disappointed with my friend. She didn't even think that what she's doing may hurt your feelings and if that's the case, she's not a real friend after all. Shes been careless of the feeling of other especially you her best friend.
• Philippines
1 Aug 10
i agree with you. she should have think twice before she decided to date with him. if she had been a true friend then she wouldn't have dated with him in the first place because even if were done she would know it would still hurt my ego. wat is she trying to tell me?that she is better than me??
@Suggar (3609)
• Bulgaria
1 Aug 10
May be your ex is looking for way to refresh your relationship and wants to be with you again. Or your ex is asking what was his mistake. If you are in one relationship you are not independent, you are too close and you have feelings, you don't have that chance to see the real situation. But friends, who are close, can see all that things you missed, because you were in the relationship, better than you.
• Philippines
1 Aug 10
then why do they have to date exclusively as if they got something already? don't u think its unfair to date with someone from your past?i just can't believe she did it to me. and the nerve of that guy!!
1 Aug 10
There is nothing you can do about it I'm afraid. If they want to be together, you can't really stop them. Your ex is no longer you're boyfriend so he is free to date pretty much whoever he wants... As for your best friend, she probably thinks that you are both over each other and the past is the past and it has nothing to do with her. She may be your best friend but that doesn't mean she can't go out with your ex after you guys have broken up. Imagine she had broken up with her boyfriend which then became her ex and you fell in love with her ex and her ex fell in love with you, would you not date him just because he was dating your best friend? I wouldn't think so. It looks like you haven't really got over him so take the first step to doing that by cutting contact with him and asking your best friend not to mention him because you are still trying to get over him. Do other things with your life, keep busy never go a minute without doing anything. Meet new people, find new hobbies, don't listen to stupid songs, don't be afraid to try out new things, go on holiday/vacation with some other friends somewhere really far. There's a lot of things you can do so go out and do them and time will heal you.
• Philippines
1 Aug 10
i know thta i don't have the right on my ex anymore because we have broken up a long time ago. but there is this girl code not to date with an ex of a friend. it may not be a written code neither a verbal agreement but i think its there eons ago wen u binded for friendship. just our of delicadeza i really think its a no no to date with some ex. if it did happened to me i wouldn't date her ex even if i liked the guy.
@ree_yah (462)
• Philippines
13 Aug 10
ex boyfriends are part of our past... why should we care if theyre going to be my bestfriends date. if you react to it, then you surely have feelings for that guy until now! thata sourgraping. sorry to say that s2rybot... just be happy ok
• Philippines
13 Aug 10
For me, what is your reason why feel hurt about your bestfriend is dating with your ex. Is this the sign that you have still feelings to your ex. For me, this is ok because no.1 reason is that your ex is no longer yours, and your everyone has a right to love the person they want to. But, I know your point that if she/he is a real bestfriend, he/she will not take that opportunity to engage with your ex. But honestly there's no reason to be angry with your bestfriend!!!
@JOIEMARVIC (2341)
• Philippines
11 Aug 10
Things like that really happened in real life. If you feel betrayed or left out, talk to your ex or your bestfriend. But it will not change anything. The fact remains that she is no longer yours. That she might be better off and happy with someone else, and that someone else is your bestfriend. Your trying to move in right? Try a little harder. Don't do things that would end up hurting your feelings.
• Philippines
6 Aug 10
He's your ex now and don't cry over spilled milk. So your ego is hurt; don't worry maybe she'll go through what you've gone through. Maybe she was just waiting or maybe she felt pity for him or she maybe love him secretly.
@meirhu (363)
• Israel
4 Aug 10
It bothers you that he is dating her ? Why ? You said that you had broken up with her. You want to control her EVEN though you broke up with her ?
@ybong007 (6656)
• Philippines
3 Aug 10
it simply means you two were not meant for each other. It's better to move on and be happy for both of them. It may be awkward at first but you'll all learn to make adjustments. As you've said love faded, its time to look for a brand new one.
• Philippines
2 Aug 10
She even did a sort of redefining other meaning of being a friend....
@andy77e (5161)
• United States
2 Aug 10
Well the best thing to do, is the hardest to do. Believe that your best friend, is your best friend, and continue to be her friend. Assume that she did like your ex-boyfriend, but that she didn't cheat with him, but rather after you broke up, decided to give it a try. And also wish them the best if they are good match. Now if something comes out later... well... then we'll deal with that when it happens. But don't assume the worst, and ruin a friendship over nothing. Granted, this isn't easy at all. I know. But still, it is the best answer I think.
@attente (987)
• Philippines
2 Aug 10
was it your fault of your break up or it's your ex? if it was you ex's fault, then may be it reallly hurts. that sucks actually. but if it's your fault or a mutual decision, then it's no one's fault. You can't blame your bestfriend nor you ex if they start to like each other. after the break up, they might have spent time together, talking about you, extending her hands to him or whatchamacallit. i know it's hard, hope you'll get over it pretty soon. it's awkward. tsss. :)
2 Aug 10
I think your best friend just broke the girls code. Does she consider your feelings at all? Would she be able to discuss her relationship problems with you? Well my dear, I think the moment she choose to date your ex was the moment she became just a friend. Just turn a blind eye on them and go on with your life..chawww
• Philippines
2 Aug 10
This really hurts a lot!..i already experienced this since when i am in high school.. my world turns up side down at those times..i cant imagine they can do it to me..maybe because they love each other? what about me?.they left me hanging..:(
@cajimenez (452)
• Philippines
2 Aug 10
She is not a friend at all... Trust your instinct.. Do your best to forget about them..
@laydee (12809)
• Philippines
2 Aug 10
I don't think it's because she was waiting in line. I guess they just hit it off because of some similarities - after all, you are best friends. So perhaps she has qualities like or beyond yours that attracted him in the first place. You can't blame your friend for falling in love, but she could have told you really. I mean, isn't there a taboo with friends never to date ex's? But well, you won't know for sure unless you find yourself in their wedding.
@laniekins (4580)
• Philippines
2 Aug 10
Ouch, that was sad. I really hate it if my friend get involve in my past or present bf. Maybe they felt something before and now that the guy is free, he took advantage of that. I can relate in your discussion cause I fell inlove with my so called friend's ex. I cannot say that she is my best friend, I just met her during my training as cashier on warehouse store. His ex is working there too, they fell inlove and have a short 3 months relationship. I also have bf and broke up with him after they broke up. It was unintentional, we just texting each other and then he courted me, I just laugh at him but I badly want his company, and then I fall in love too and we are in 6 years relationship now. The girl is also married with child, I hope she's happy now upon choosing the guy that she's with.