is it okay to be loved/courted by twins?
By attente
@attente (986)
Philippines
August 7, 2010 12:28pm CST
I have this friend who is courted by twins, not at the same time though. The three of them have been friends for a while because they graduated from the same university. They already know this girl and admire her from the start. Well my friend having lots of admirers is not really new to me, aside from being beautiful, she's also very friendly.. The first guy, let's call him boy1, started to like her, I mean started to fall for her, when they got the same subject. Apparently they were classmates and that gave them time to get to know each other. But my friend, as far as I know, had no plans of getting into a relationship that time. The guy had waited her for almost 2 years but nothing happened. Boy1 gave up.. But they were still friends and hang out since they have lots of common friends. After months, we noticed that boy1's twin brother, call him boy2, is already close to my friend. I even caught him staring at my friend when she's busy.. And then I've discovered that she asked my friend to court her formally. My friend refused because she wants to respect boy1.. Buy boy2 is so persistent, he said that he already asked for permission to boy1 before asking her.. I really don't know what to say when we talked about this. Do you think it would be awkward if my friend will be in a relationship with boy2?
5 people like this
15 responses
@kun2349 (23381)
• Singapore
8 Aug 10
Well well, love is just so complicated.. Especially when it concerns brothers/sisters falling for the same person.. haha =D No matter who your friend chooses, it's still gonna be very awkward for the them, when they meet the other guy..
PLus, if happen jealousy were to kick it, the other guy can easily be seen as a 3rd party, even though he's really close to your friend, and nothing is going on between them.. Thus if possible, dun get involved with any one 
@attente (986)
• Philippines
11 Aug 10
I agree with you kun. They are indeed twins, liking the same things, even the same girls! lols! HAHHA!! Hope my friend has a twin, definitely, there will be no problem! nyhahaha!!
well now I think knows his limitation and he is respecting boy2.. They just let their younger brother tease them because he is still young and don't know much about the situation. lols. But I suppose, everything is okay. thanks! :)
1 person likes this
@attente (986)
• Philippines
8 Aug 10
yeah yeah right.. 2 friends falling in love for the same person is complicated, how much more brothers/sisters right? tsk tsk tsk.
well i think it would really awkward even though we consider the fact that boy2 had asked permission to boy1.. my friend received gifts from boy1 before: birthdays, valentines, christmas. and it would be awkward now that boy2 will be doing the same thing, i just think.. and the younger brother of the twins know that boy1 liked my friend before. he even kept on teasing my fried to his brother boy1 until now.. tsk tsk tsk.
1 person likes this
@danverxxcore (347)
• Philippines
8 Aug 10
Try to ask boy1 of his opinion about boy2 with the your friend. Maybe boy2 made thyat up?
@danverxxcore (347)
• Philippines
8 Aug 10
ehhe. I'm a bit confused but, I can advice you too wait :D Maybe your friend is going to change her mind. They boys look the same though :D
@attente (986)
• Philippines
8 Aug 10
Hmmm. you're confuse. Okay, the more detailed one: before, boy1 and my friend don't talk too much because boy1 is a shy type of boy.. and after he gave up, the more they distant themselves from each other. so I think, they got a problem with their friendship.. now that the twin brother enter in the picture, boy2, I observe that boy1 and my friend can talk openly since I think boy1 had already accepted that he can't win my friend's heart. So i think it's really okay with them. I see them closer to each other now than before. But of course, my friend is more closer with boy2 than boy1 since he is courting my friend.:)
@celticeagle (160064)
• Boise, Idaho
8 Aug 10
I wonder if boy1 and boy2 are playing games. It has long been a thing with twins to play games with the same person. It is a game they enjoy playing and I have heard of it in reality and in the movies. I just wonder. And if neither of them are serious I don't see why the kid can't see boy2 too.
@celticeagle (160064)
• Boise, Idaho
9 Aug 10
Well, I guess weirder things have happened. I would wonder why the one person would want to be involved with both of them. Usually you go to someone else because they are different not a copy of the other person.
@attente (986)
• Philippines
8 Aug 10
Well I don't think the twins are playing games. I also have known them for four years because I am also studying on the same university, I am a close friend of the three actually and I know that the twins are really good. They are actually the most thoughtful guys, and of course my guy! hehe.
1 person likes this
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
10 Aug 10
I think that it definitely has the potential to be a sticky situation. However, if in fact boy1 is really okay with it, I think that your friend would be a fool to not go ahead and go for it. You see, to pass up the opportunity for a relationship, then she could well be passing up the opportunity for the best thing that has ever happened to her. I happen to be friends with a guy that dated sisters when he was younger and that never caused a problem within their family.
@attente (986)
• Philippines
11 Aug 10
ohhh. good to hear that you have some friends having the same situation with my friend. this is the first time I've witnessed such situation and I really think my friend is having a hard time making her decision because she doesn't want to cause a problem. thanks! be blessed! :)
@Memnon (2170)
•
8 Aug 10
I would say that the decision is hers. If the twins have agreed that 'the coast is clear' for Boy2, then that would be fine- if they fall out later, that is of their own doing since, at this point Boy1 has agreed that he is not interested.
If she is unsure, thinking that perhaps Boy2 is making it up that he consulted his twin, she should ask him, which would put her mind at rest.
@attente (986)
• Philippines
8 Aug 10
I memnon! I think the good thing about the twins is that they have talked about their status to the girl so that boy2 can be assured that the coast is clear and he is free to court the girl.. well, thank you for your response, I will let my friend read all of your replies here. :)
@colorfulseafish (82)
• China
11 Aug 10
sounds like a tv series:)
for me,i think it's ok to accept boy2 if your friend really loves him.true love exists all the time,there is no wrong if twins love the same girl.you should not be awkward about that.if the girl loves boy2,and if boy1 really loves the girl,i think boy1 will allow boy2 and the girl being together.the couple will be happy.
@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
9 Aug 10
Hi attente, Wow! What a situation to be in! I think that your friend has to make her own decision here, no one should try to give her advice unless she asks for it. I don't think there is any problem with being courted by twins but each situation is different. Blessings.
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
8 Aug 10
now I think everyone should leave her the heck alone with boy 2, as boy 1 is out of the picture. Let her have a relationship, maybe marry boy 2,friendhip and love are two different animals. If I were the girl I would make it clear to boy one that she is not in love with boy one, so go find yourself your own girl, as I am in love with your twin. so get off ,my case please. It should not be a ny more difficult than two men who are just brothers but not twins. She has a right to love whom she pleases.
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
9 Aug 10
It does depend on the people I guess. If boy2 really does have his brother’s blessing I guess it may be okay for the girl to date him. If I was her I would talk to boy1 to make sure the situation will not be awkward for him and take it from there. Having said all that it is complicated and the best thing may well be for her to keep away from both of them unless she has really strong feelings for boy2.
@attente (986)
• Philippines
9 Aug 10
I couldn't agree more paula! the first thing I thought when my friend told me about this is that she should avoid boy2 to avoid problems. But when I learn that my friend is liking boy2, I told her to talk to boy1 to clarify things. thanks pau! be blessed! :)
1 person likes this
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
8 Aug 10
why would it be awkward? i mean, she could not force herself loving somebody she does not love. it just happens that the other boy is the twin of the first boy. it is not her fault if one day she falls in love with boy2. everybody deserves to be happy.
@attente (986)
• Philippines
8 Aug 10
I couldn't agree more bingskee. Some are judging her, some here in mylot even say that she is destroying the relationship of the two boys. But I think it's not my friend's fault of there is more than one guy who is admiring her, and of course it is not her fault that these two guys are twins.. be blessed! :)
@nancy0618 (477)
• Philippines
8 Aug 10
well i do not think there is anything wrong if ever your friend will chose the other guy "boy number 2" even if they are twins, it does not necessarily mean that they have the same personality right? if your friend likes boy number 2 then go ahead.
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
7 Aug 10
Yes I do not believe this is an ideal situation to be in. it is sort of an unspoken rule not to date or as you say courted by a friend ex and or an ex's family member.
It is however a personal choice one I do not care to be in as relationships in general can be very difficult and I find that this one would start off negative.
@attente (986)
• Philippines
7 Aug 10
I couldn't agree more! there it is, it's an unspoken rule not do date an ex's family member! heheh. Well, no matter how sweet and and no matter what efforts boy2 is, my friend is really doubtful about entering a relationship with this guy. :) be blessed.
@incus99 (1083)
• Philippines
7 Aug 10
I think your friend acted accordingly.. identical twins may look the same but they differ in a lot of ways too... but in this case, their propensity to towards your friend was more of a common factor.. thus both of them decided to court her despite the friendship..
@wennyyih (26)
• China
8 Aug 10
well...i think it would be ok.if he didnt hurt his bro and his bro feel ok. and if ur friends like him,too.there is no things to be consisdered .
@starsailover (7829)
• Mexico
7 Aug 10
Hi atente: what a complicated situation. In my case I think that the better choice for your friend would be to say no because, it sounds like a difficultrelationship. Boy2 says that he has talked already with his brother... I'm not sure if he's telling the truth and also, maybe boy 1 will always be present in the near future. He wouldn't be happy after this situation if he still loves your friend. Thanks for starting this discussion. Have a nice day.
ALVARO
@attente (986)
• Philippines
7 Aug 10
Hi starsailover! I think it's really true that boy2 talked to boy1 because I asked boy1 what was his reaction about the situation. He said, his twin brother asked him if it's okay. But I didn't asked further if he still has feelings for my friend because I don't want to hear that he still like my friend. I think it is really a hard situation. Yeah right, my friend should say no. It would be hard for them. thank you! be blessed! :)
