Do You Think Marriage Nowadays Can Survive?
By candyfairy21
@candyfairy21 (2039)
Philippines
August 10, 2010 9:33am CST
Years ago marriage was for keeps and couples grow old together. But in recent years there had been a lot of divorce. Like it is easy to get divorce nowadays. They get married in a minute and a day or two after they're getting divorce. So, do you think that marriages nowadays can still survive the test of time and couples can still grow old together?
5 people like this
29 responses
@jennyze (7028)
• Indonesia
11 Aug 10
Knowing so many marriages broken, especially because one of them is cheating, I don't think that modern marriage can survive. It is so easy for each couple to stray, as the temptation is always there, as well as the chance. And People do not have a strong believe in commitment now. I don't mean all people, but mostly are. I am afraid of being married.
@candyfairy21 (2039)
• Philippines
11 Aug 10
aren't we all single gals afraid of the big M word? It's hard enough to fall into the wrong relationship and get hurt. The complexities of having a relationship is what scares most people. Marriage is for those who wants to be committed and stay married not for those who wants convenience and one night stands. Because after all the fun and when it gets inconvenient then the real struggle begins and we can see who would stand the test of time. It takes two to tango not just one partner trying to dance to the tune alone for it would never surely work.
@jennyze (7028)
• Indonesia
12 Aug 10
I agree with you, every relationship needs two people to work together, otherwise it will be a big failure. Still, to imagine two people in a very long relationship (let's say 30 years) what would be the things to keep the relationship going? Wouldn't at some point one partner or both seek other thing from a different partner to get the spark of life?
@myiesha (96)
• Singapore
11 Aug 10
Yes, I think marriage can survive. Don't all married couples want to grow old together? Definitely, the answer is yes. But in reality marriage is not a simple walk in the park. You have to give your all to make it work. Not just love, but everything such as respect, understanding, compassion, time and you must learn how to compromise.
I am married and I want my marriage to last a lifetime. We have a very long journey ahead of us and nobody knows what the future holds but I do hope we can stand the test of time. Sorry myLotters, another mushy response :)
@candyfairy21 (2039)
• Philippines
11 Aug 10
I guess that is what we all have in mind when we get married. I do not want to sound so pessimistic but nowadays most marriages when they hit rock bottom they decide to find the easier way out and that is to call it quits.
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
10 Aug 10
Yes I think it can, but it takes a lot of work for both people..If one doesn't put effort into it, then it will slowly start to deteriorate..So before anyone even takes that vow, they both need to understand, marriage is not a bed of roses and there is a lot of compromises and sacrificing that is done during the whole marriage...
@candyfairy21 (2039)
• Philippines
15 Aug 10
they say it takes 2 to tango and you are right about both people working on it! Me too Carmel I still hope and believe that marriages nowadays can still be rock solid even after being hit by a tornado full of whatever bad stuff happens.
1 person likes this
@voldrox (7191)
• India
11 Aug 10
Hi candyfairy21,
Yes i totally believe that marriages can last for long. I think there are always faults in understanding each other. I don't know why people would suddenly want to get a divorce these days, it was once a big issue but sadly today it is the way it is. I believe people have grown more selfish in today's world and this is on the it's outcomes.
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
10 Aug 10
hello candy,
Yes,i do and still believed that marriages can survive in this new era.
It is a matter of love and the two persons involved.
We heard short lived marriages and it is very sad to think that marriage is not being respect or observed with sanctity as it is before (olden times)
This is very common now,and the society even accepted this fact.
And even if this kind of relationship (short lived marriages) is happening,i still seen and witness some couples who tried their best to keep their marriages a lasting one.
I just hope they can lived and stay faithful till they get old.
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
10 Aug 10
It depends on the relationship. msot of the time, men gets to screw it up first or most of the time than women.
@candyfairy21 (2039)
• Philippines
11 Aug 10
Yup nobody think it's wrong to do so. have we become so selfish and self gratifying?
@msdedicated (25)
• United States
11 Aug 10
It's hard to say if a marriage can last now days. People dont have the staying power anymore. People need to think about the couples that have been married for over 50 years and what it took for them to reach that mile stone in their life. I know they had many ups and downs. But as the say "love conquers all".
@candyfairy21 (2039)
• Philippines
11 Aug 10
Yes those who were married for over 50 years! Isn't it amazing? But nowadays due to what is going on with most married people it seems just like a fairytale. It just seems like a tale of long ago.
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
11 Aug 10
Yes I think so. There are so many people getting married for all the wrong reasons nowadays and I think those are the people to whom see their marriages falter. My husband and I got married for love, because we love each other. We went through premarital counseling as per prerequisite to be married in the church we were married in. We got to keep the workbooks we used and so can look back in them if we ever find ourselves needing the inspiration of what we learned about each other and about marriage in general.
I say that those who get married too soon should step back and reassess the reasons they were married for in the first place, and then decide whether they can get through whatever troubles make them want to get divorced BEFORE they get divorced. If they're religious, they should go to a bookstore and buy a few books, a workbook like the ones we have perhaps... but divorce isn't always the answer.
@candyfairy21 (2039)
• Philippines
11 Aug 10
Well said cowgirl! 5 thumbs up sign for that! I hope people do not rush into marriage like buying pancakes in a resto! There is a difference for those couples who rushed into marriage and for those who take their time getting to know the other person and making sure this would be the person they will stay committed for the rest of their lives no matter what happens. The latter has always been successful than the former. I guess we should try a realistic approach when it comes to marriage than being swept away in ecstasy like that of the hollywood movies.
@xiangd (63)
• China
11 Aug 10
Ye,nowaday the marriage is more and more practical than before,sometimes people marriged not all beacause love each other but some other reason that is hard to say out.for example the money ,power and so on.But I think most of the normal person just try to find a balance between love and realism, after all most of the marry are found on the ture love and it need ture love to hold together.
In the society circumstance this days, divorcement become more and more prevalant,sometimes I think maybe it's really is the best or final way to solve the problem of marriage,after all nowadays is more different from long since, people's value judgment has changed and this change will be contiue.
That just it's.
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
10 Aug 10
yes, i find this problem disturbing in this time. i believe there is too much demanding in terms of work, and needs of each other. we have become too liberated to be selfish much of our needs.
I envy those who have got it long in their past. makes me think i have no luck with women. i don't have a sharp eye to look for a good one either
@candyfairy21 (2039)
• Philippines
15 Aug 10
have we become too busy making money too that all we ever think is how much we could chip in the relationship that we forget what is essential in a marriage? Too distracted perhaps with the trivial things of day to day existence than focusing on working on the most important things? What do you say?
@eurekafemme (5877)
• Philippines
10 Aug 10
Hi, dear.:)
Despite of the heartaches and pains I gained from getting married, I still believe that married can survive. But that depends upon the parties involve.
Right now, my husband is not fully giving on us yet and I am still here with him. There's a great chance that eventually our union will survive this rollercoaster ride. But only time can tell.
If we would only think of the welfare of our family and not just ourselves. If we take into consideration the future of the family we tried to build solidly.If we truly care for each other. If we don't cease to believe each other. If we don't stop bringing up the best in each other, then, maybe, marriage will survive at the end...
God bless you.:)
@candyfairy21 (2039)
• Philippines
11 Aug 10
Well marriage is about 2 people that does not include the rest of the family. the relationship between 2 people who vowed to love and cherish each other for the rest of their lives. I have known of couples who stayed in the relationship but they did not grow together as a couple, they stayed for the sake of the children. They tried to compromise and tried to stay for their families but in reality they were just falling apart. Which one will you choose to be married and be completely 2 different people? Or to get off of the marriage have your peace of mind and grow to be the person you were suppose to be and be happy?
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
12 Aug 10
There have definitely been a lot of rough patches in the six years that my husband and myself have been married. However, I don't love him any less now than I did six years ago and I honestly believe that if we have been able to make it through the tough times that we've experienced thus far, I don't think that there will ever be anything that will ever be able to tear the two of us apart. So, I honestly do believe that there are marriages today that are able to survive the test of time.
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
10 Aug 10
The marrriage rate today is just as good as it ever was. Every marriage needs to nurture and grow and blossom. It is so easy to let relationships fsll apart. It is so easy to quit trying. Marriage is worth the effort. It tskes two for a marriage to survive, and it can if you really want it to.
@candyfairy21 (2039)
• Philippines
11 Aug 10
I totally agree with you there. it does take 2 people to make things workout. Someone used to tell me marriage is heaven when you are married to the right person but it is hell when you are tied up with the wrong one.
@s2rybot (34)
• Philippines
11 Aug 10
i really believe in the word forever.and marriage is supposed to be forever. but if you will just stay on with the marriage out of obligation, necessity or responsibility or because it is your duty to keep it intact then its better that you separate ways.marriage takes two to tango.it would never survive if only one person tries hard to make it work.its a give and take and not a one way street.
i have a friend who suffered a miserable marriage life for 16years.she gave up everything just to make it work.she even forget her life to save it. but the question is why?why keep yourself miserable when everyone watching you can see you are slowly dying with it?why would you allow this other half to make your life a hell to live when you can still start anew?
surviving a married life is done hand in hand with the people involved in it.for it to work out, the couple should be sensitive enough for each others feelings.
@sweetmary86 (822)
• Philippines
13 Aug 10
nowadays marriage are really struggling... most couples end up getting divorced, annulled, separated or watsoeva... my parents marriage did survive... so i think only a few will make it till the end in these modern times... ppl are so changeable u never know what goes into their minds. now they love you the next day they dont... then they find someone else..so its just a matter of discretion you can never be sure even how much a person loves you, the feeling is still subject to change
@nancy0618 (477)
• Philippines
11 Aug 10
in my opinion now adays it seems that marriage do not last forever, on a range of one hundred percent i would say around one percent is the rate for marriage that last, people do not stay on one partner
@MDG2211 (711)
• Argentina
11 Aug 10
indicates that the trend today is rare for people to marry, the style and way of life has changed, and eventually tend to disappear marriage, couples are living in a house, or live, live the today and can not imagine at this time to spend your life with your partner, and a sample of this is that there are many couples who marry, or move in together after having had a relationship a few years and years little time apart.
@Ceekay1989 (323)
• United States
10 Aug 10
Marriages can stil survive I think that because we have the option to divorce we use it , more often than necessary instead of working through it we serve each other papers, like some childish dimwits. I still strongly believe in marraige and hope to get married one day. Marraige has been around since the dawn of time it may be doubted but it won't die.
@maomao20716 (171)
• China
11 Aug 10
i do think marriage will survive. from know another to marriage is a long time ,not only one or two days ,maybe several yeas ,during that time ,you can know well about your partner ,if he/she can match your character ,if you two have common language , and so on. even now the divorce rate is higher in some country ,but the true love do exist. personally ,do not take marriage very irrational or reckless ,this is a big thing....
@liuxingyu760 (6)
• China
11 Aug 10
I always want to find a girl friend when I was single,but now I found it really hard to keep a relationship, not mention marriage.
life is not easy, especially about love.