Thorn between 2 relatives...

Philippines
August 14, 2010 1:42am CST
Ever since I can remember, I was always been thorn between relatives or even friends. I've been a confidant, and I don't take sides unless I really have too. Yesterday, it happened again. I'm close to both sides and I feel a bit hurt if the other side is saying something bad on the other person who doesn't know what's happening. If I tell this person what the other person is saying, Imma get in trouble and their fight might get bigger. So, I'm just zipping my lips close again and let them fixed their problems. Both have points but I'm not taking sides. It is sad for me cause I care for both sides and hopefully they patch things up. What do you guys do if this happens to you? Have you experienced it already?
2 people like this
7 responses
@SomeCowgirl (32255)
• United States
15 Aug 10
Yes I have experiences this quite a few times. I am not sure whether my situation is a bit different then yours or not. My mother and grandmother would and still do at times, talk bad about my father. I would listen and agree as I knew no better. About a year ago, before I married my husband, I found out that some of the things about my father aren't and / or may not be true. My mother has tried to get me to talk to my father to give her money but I refuse to do so as I feel that they should talk about it , or argue about it or what have you on their own. I also feel that while I don't know the whole situation, my mother may not or does not need the money she demands from my father anyway. As you can see this is a difficult situation to be stuck in the middle of, so I just stay out of it altogether. That being said, now when I hear something bad about my father I let it go in one year and out the other.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
15 Aug 10
Hi! Yeah it's hard to be in this situation. I think it's really better to stay out of it than be stuck in the middle. Thank you for sharing. I appreciate it. Hope you have a good day.
@eurekafemme (5881)
• Philippines
14 Aug 10
You are doing the right thing by not telling what other is saying to another.It is true that it may fuel more anger to both of them and instead of doing good it will do more harm. But, you can talk to them both and try to mediate, be the peace maker. As I don't know what is the real score between your relatives, you alone can know what are the right words to say to them as a peacemaker. I'd would really wish them to become friends. Maybe, try to invite them both to a party or just to hangout with both of them. Goodluck to you. May this thing with your relatives be settled soon.:)
1 person likes this
• Philippines
15 Aug 10
Hi! Thank you. I hope things will be better to both sides soon. Have a good day.
@Andyvil (793)
• Philippines
14 Aug 10
If ever I am in the same situation as you I always tend to be the mediator between the two. I talk to both parties and try to sort things out and see both their sides. I will try my best to patch things up between the two of them and exhaust all possibilities for them to reconcile.
1 person likes this
• India
14 Aug 10
Well i have never experienced this, i avoid this kind of talk from relatives, because in future they can blame me,, Thanks for sharing. Welcome always. Cheers. Professor
• Philippines
15 Aug 10
Hi Professor! It's good that you haven't experienced this cause it's hard when your in the middle of 2 people you care about. Thank you. Have a nice day!
@derek_a (10897)
14 Aug 10
I know your position exactly having found myself in this position many times. Whenever it happens, I always make sure that I never get drawn into gossip from either side, and I will not make remarks about the other person ever. I also stay as honest as I can and if somebody asks me to keep a secret from the other person, I stop them talking and ask them not to tell me anything such secret. Life has enough problems without getting involved with friends who are at war with each other. _Derek
• Philippines
14 Aug 10
Hi Derek. Your right a secret is a secret. I try to put a good word when one is saying something bad against the other but it seems that when a person is mad he or she doesn't see any good on the other person. So, I just listen and advice well. Thank you.
@dorannmwin (36656)
• United States
16 Aug 10
I think this is probably one of the hardest things that we go through in being a confidant for other people. I am the kind of person that likes to be able to listen, but I've also found that there is a point at which I really can't take any more either. It is at the point that I can't take anymore that I almost slip up and end up taking sides because I just want to do something to make the fights between my friends end.
@hugo_CHN (12)
• China
14 Aug 10
haha,yeah,I always experience it in my life.I have a closed friend,or even to say an intimate.We both like drinking to the deep night on weekends,and it is interesting that he always drunk too much,so i have to send him home.Every time when we got the door of their house,his wife locked the door and refused us out of the door.