What is wrong with teenage marriage?

Philippines
August 14, 2010 12:43pm CST
My cousin who is just 16 years old got pregnant. His boyfriend who is only 17 years old wanted them to get married but both of their parents do not agree. They were separated, my cousin is now in the province with her mother. Although they seem to love each other so much, their parents believe that they need to wait at least 2 more years before they can get married. Do you really think young marriages do not work?
5 people like this
45 responses
• Philippines
14 Aug 10
Well, it depends. It all boils down to money. If both have parents who can support them, emotionally, physically and financially (most importantly), then it would probably work as their parents can still send them to school without them working. Now, if both families can't afford to support them financially, it will be very hard for the young couple to cope up with the real world without formal education.
• China
15 Aug 10
i would say this is only few exception like this,and even through the family can help to relief some responsbility,but how can they deal with the metally changes for both child.Money can not handle anything in the marridge.
@mcaquino (60)
• Philippines
14 Aug 10
I think teenage marriage is not advisable even your cousin got pregnant.Both of them are still young,and still they do not know how to handle a big responsibility.
• Pakistan
14 Aug 10
my mom, my sis,my most of the family other than me were married when they were teenagers, And they spend great lives. They are happy and i cant say a girl wanted to have se¤¤ is a kid? What do you say?
@34momma (13882)
• United States
16 Aug 10
They are already about to have a baby.. I would be ok if they got married. i am not sure where they are from, but maybe they don't need their parent permission to get married. i wish them the best of luck
@dawnald (85129)
• Shingle Springs, California
20 Aug 10
Statistically some do work, but many don't. If they still want to marry when they are both 18, that's probably a good sign that they have a decent chance.
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
17 Aug 10
the kids are both teenagers so it is required for them to have parents' consent before getting married. i have to answer the question to this discussion - is it wrong to marry at a very young age? given the fact that the parents gave consent, young marriages usually do not work. there are many reasons and one them is emotional stability. being young, these teenagers are prone to misunderstand each other because of differences. there are still a lot to be learned dealing with problems, people and situations. also, they are not yet physical and financially stable. these things could add up to the piles of possible unlikely situations. my two cents worth.
• Philippines
17 Aug 10
Age should not really be the sole basis of a long-lasting marriage but rather on maturity. Although most people would say that "Wisdom comes with age." As long as you are mature or are in a state that you want to accept maturity in your life, I think you are fit for marriage. Like what a popular song would say, "Two become one.." That is one of the realms married couples should accept.
@mtdewgurl74 (18151)
• United States
15 Aug 10
My niece got pregnant when she was 13. She didn't marry him, but he didn't want to anyhow. He left her when she was 7 months pregnant and realized she was having a girl, when he wanted a boy. Weird..when he should have just cared if it was healthy or not her being so young and with complications and having to do bed red after 7 months of her pregnancy. But When she was 17 she did get married but to a different guy but it didn't last a year. She is now 19 and has had another child but still not settled down in a stable home. SO what I am saying is that it depends on the child's maturity really. I got married when I was 16 but not because I was pregnant. I just fell in love and we are still together almost 20 years later but it hasn't been an easy road. No marriage is easy. It is not all fun and games..might seem so at the beginning.But then reality hits you in the face and Bam! life isn't so fun anymore.and it is alot harder when children are involved.. So, as I said Maturity has a lot to do with it and the decisions to be made.. If he loves her then 2 years isn't that long to wait. And also gives her time to finish school and to get on her own two feet and be better stabilized and mature..
@cher913 (25782)
• Canada
15 Aug 10
i think most people are against a teenaged marriage because they think the teenagers havent fully matured yet.
@bhanusb (5709)
• India
15 Aug 10
Hi kristeena, it is the bad result of free mixing in the Western society. Their parents descision is alright. The boy and the girl are so immature. Now they are influenced by their imotion.Perhaps both the boy and the girl are students. How they will live wiyhout money?
@preppy (28)
• United Arab Emirates
16 Aug 10
i thnk thier parent is right... this is a test of thier love for each other if they can really wait till the proper time.. because some of the marrriages now a days does not work and got separated..
@pogi253 (1586)
• Philippines
16 Aug 10
yup i agree with the parents. your cousins are still young and they do not know what kind of responsibilities there in to.
• Philippines
16 Aug 10
A lot! First they did not value God's command for the reason of why they are getting married, number two they did not respect their parents at all, they did not value their parents sacrifices to finance their education and basic needs...though I sound harsh but its true...and third even though some survive but we cannot erase the fact that they miss out to enjoy their teen age years...dreaming for what kind of person they want to be and dream and serve their parents with full attention and time unlike when they already, their first priority is their own family already. Fourth, teenage marriage are not the same with those who are in the right age and wants to commit and devote their lives to their own partners and soon children, base on maturity, how they handle situations, how they will handle everyday with responsibilities...etc... Maybe some will say they never regret it marrying young because they love each other... but they miss out many things as they jump in their supposed seasons... seasons that some might think just seasons... but whatever God has for us is greater than what we dream of and that what they missed... specially the disappointment of their parents. True love under God's protection will never missed by anyone who devote their life in following Christ, but will be more blessing to their family and other people. God bless. I think one mistake is enough, and the boy, your cousin's boyfriend must earned the trust of his future in laws..by being mature enough to finish his studies, serve his own parents, and somehow find a part time job to support his baby. And when they are in the right age there's no room for doubt that he definitely deserve to get his baby and his gf...and he cannot say..what if I found somebody else...well love should be base on commitment, if it is base in emotions there is no doubt when emotions pass his love will blown by the wind.
• Portugal
15 Aug 10
if they really love each other it can work. also they shouldnt separate them thats very bad attitude of them to do that. they are not respecting their sons decisions :( as long as your cousin and her bf find a job its ok that they marry and live together^^ its hard to accept that a girl with 16 is pregnant but she needs support and care now from her bf so they cant keep her away from him. they must put them together so they can be there for each other and have a life together ^^
@ruth98 (106)
• Philippines
16 Aug 10
I saw that already so many times, but not all stay together for a long time. It would have been ok if the kids want to be together because they love each other and not because the girl is pregnant. Perhaps, the parents are right that if they still wait longer they will see if they still want to be together. Because to be married at 16, it's not legal, if it's in the Philippines. The age of marrying, I think is 18. I think it's good that they have time and better for the boy to finish schooling so that he can provide for his family when time comes.
@AAnshu (115)
15 Aug 10
Nothing wrong with getting pregnant at 16 but marriage is a no? I'm not saying that i think they should get married but why is she pregnant in the first place? Anyway I would say no to 16 year old marriage too. Their parents aren't really trying to separate them though. They're saying yes to marriage if it was 2 years later right? I think that's very reasonable. Besides, does law even allow marriage at that age? I was shocked to hear people can lawfully marry at 18 but don't go and say that people can lawfully marry at 16!
@RobtheRock (2433)
• United States
15 Aug 10
Never say never. Though the odds are against it, a teenage marriage can work. I agree with many of the posters that there are reasons why the marriage will not work out. Maturity is one. Kids tend to think that nothing is like what theirs is like. So they think they're in love and no one can tell them differently. It's like a teenage girl who falls in love with a hoodlum. She eventually runs away to be with him. Eventually she learns that a mistake was made. But sometimes for somebody, everything works out for the best. So somewhere a young marriage does work.
• India
15 Aug 10
You say your cousin is only 16 years old. In India, the legal age is 18 for getting married. Apart from the legalities, the couple will definitely face severe hardships in their marital life. They are not matured enough to upbring a kid. If that is it, just imagine how the kid will grow. Progenies of such early marriage will be more prone to diseases, because they were not produced from mature spermatoids. since the boy is only 17 years old, his chances are more in deserting your cousin to find another mate, when he faces the virtual problems of bringing up a child. To support a family, you need a proper job, good amount of money and above all substantial maturity.
@Chubsko (51)
• Philippines
15 Aug 10
I am so against teenage marriage because i think they are not yet prepared. Like financially mostly emotionally. They are not matured yet to face problems in the future. For them what they only think is for the present. Mostly they will get married because the girl is pregnant nothing else. And it's not right marriage is sacred so meaning of man and woman must be prepared to accept this. I am not mentioning all, but for me i will not suggest anyone to get married unless they are on the right age.
• Philippines
15 Aug 10
It's pretty much about the two young people's readiness to plunge into such lifestyle. There are young couples who have survived such lifestyle and the problems that are attached with it and I think, that is because they're ready for it and they both have a vision in life. However, I'd say that those young couples whose relationship didn't work can be attributed to immaturity--that is, less experience, emotional deficit, and no goals in life. The support of the surrounding people helps too keep their relationship working.
@choconut (297)
• Philippines
15 Aug 10
i think maybe because at that age, you're not matured enough. And to make the marriage work, you have to be matured. Not just intellectually but emotionally and psychologically as well. And in my opinion, maybe they weren't allowed to get married yet and let them wait for 2years, to found out if they'll stick with each other through the time or they'll let each other go after sometimes since they're still young.