I really want to get out but I have no means!
By raynejasper
@raynejasper (2322)
Philippines
August 22, 2010 10:51pm CST
..hi guys.. I'm facing a tough problem right now.. my marriage is on the rocks.. I'm already tired and understanding and always forgiving my partner.. right now, I want to focus my attention on our daughter.. I'd like to get out from the house and start a new life, however, I don't have enough finances.. I need to pay somebody to take care of my daughter and I'll be needing additional source of income to pay for our rent.. I do have a regular office work but I don't earn enough.. Please help me.. if you have some sites that you could refer me where I can earn additional income.. I have been a member of some ptc sites but what I'm earning is not much.. if you know somebody whom I can tutor online with english, I'll be very glad.. I badly need some extra.. I want to live a new life with my daughter.. I'm very helpless and desperate right now..
2 people like this
11 responses
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
23 Aug 10
and here I am wondering when am i gonna get married. maybe not.
this is embarrassing, i mean not just in this case but most men are like out of words when they are busted or they feel they don't care any more. maybe you two need counseling first so that it will hit him, at least a grave warning to be giving into him. 
1 person likes this
@raynejasper (2322)
• Philippines
24 Aug 10
..hi letranknight.. you shouldn't be afraid to get married.. just be prepared for the responsibilities that you'll be having.. and please do love your future family and never cheat.. It's very hard.. yeah, we do need counseling however, my husband doesn't want to cooperate..
@bystander (2292)
• Philippines
24 Aug 10
it seems the moon and the planet uranus are not in a good alignment... couples are having a difficult time... just like kris, you can always get out of a bad relationship and focus on the child instead... sadly, i am an english teacher also... when i have more than enough online students, i'll pass them to you... in the meantime, do you write... i am doing a book right now and i need some help... you will be paid (for your efforts) accordingly...
@raynejasper (2322)
• Philippines
24 Aug 10
..oh, that's a good idea.. I do love to write.. please tell me what I have to do.. I'd be willing enough so much so that I really need extra income.. thank you so much.. I've had tutorial before in a school.. we tutor Korean student starting from zero English level students..
@bystander (2292)
• Philippines
24 Aug 10
for starters, you can send samples of your work -- published or not... then, we'll establish a comline...
@silverglint (2000)
• Philippines
24 Aug 10
It is sad that you find you can no longer work out things with your husband. But moving out is indeed a real big decision and it will not only affect you but also your daughter. All aspects should be considered before you finalize your decision, as you mentioned, finances is one. Also, the emotional effect of the separation to your daughter should also be considered. Take the time to really think about it, in the meantime, you can continue saving up for the possibility of moving out. Haven't you considered moving back with your parents? I hope that things will be better for you soon.
@raynejasper (2322)
• Philippines
24 Aug 10
..hi.. thanks for the advice.. I'm trying to extend my patience and understanding towards my husband.. My family don't know anything what I'm going through.. As much as possible, I don't want to involve my father with regards to my problem.. I don't have a mother because she's gone.. and my father has health problems so I don't like to add his burden.. I will take this as far as I can.. I just continue praying hard for God's blessings and guidance..
@indahfth (11161)
• Indonesia
23 Aug 10
Every household must have had a problem. You need a lot of patience for the sake of your children. I have experienced the same problem as you. Just also wanted to focus only with my child and my husband left. But after my husband and I talk a good situation. Our relationship to be good. Maybe you can talk with your husband, so you can finish the problem.
@raynejasper (2322)
• Philippines
23 Aug 10
..this happened so many times already and right now, I feel like I'm already fed up.. I feel like I'm the only one who wants the relationship to work.. I do ask myself, what the point of trying to work it our when my husband doesn't seem to care.. he's always doing what he knew is wrong.. always cheating me.. I found it out so many times already.. I even ask him why? and ask him to tell me what mistake did I do for him to do that but he doesn't say anything..
1 person likes this
@indahfth (11161)
• Indonesia
26 Aug 10
it happens to your household is very complicated. Here your husband does not give a reason, why he often fool you, I hope you can find the right solution for your problem. I hope you continue in the given strength by God, so that the completion of your problem may soon be found.
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
23 Aug 10
I guess you need to look for a better job where you can sustain all your needs,for your daughter and for someone to take care of your daughter.
I am a single mother of 3 kids.
My daughter is now studying at university on her first year.
And i am the only one who is earning for all our living.
It is just a matter of determination if you really want to start a new life.
@raynejasper (2322)
• Philippines
24 Aug 10
..nice to hear from you.. you'll be one of my best example.. thanks for the encouragement..
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
24 Aug 10
thanks dear,i know you can survive.
You just need to focus on your goal and i know you can make it
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
23 Aug 10
Sorry to hear about your household trouble as your daughter is in the middle of all this turmoil.
Unfortunately there is no quick fix and only you know what is right and what is wrong for the sake of your child. The only thing I can tell you is that if things do not get better they certainly won't repair on their own.
Begin by searching for assistance somewhere and do not just up and leave as then your troubles will multiply. However I am not advising you continue for the sake of your child as if things do not get better she will get the bad results in her future.
Please weigh out what is best for you and your child so up and leaving may not be wise right now. Although like I listed search and find to see if assistance is available in your area.
@Capsicum (1444)
• United States
24 Aug 10
I think the above answer is a great one.I am hoping that you read it right.Its up to you to stay or get out.Do you have no family that would help you out in your time of need?
As stated above checking out local help for your situation is your best bet.It may not be what you wanted ,But you can certainly improve that after taking the first step of getting away.
@raynejasper (2322)
• Philippines
23 Aug 10
..right.. I know by heart that it will be my daughter who will be affected.. however, right now, my husband doesn't care.. what's the use of staying? am sorry, like I've said, I'm desperate and I'm fed up.. I don't know what else to do.. I did my best to be a good wife and good mother..
@raynejasper (2322)
• Philippines
23 Aug 10
..hi veejay.. yeah, I've signed up already.. thank you so much.. I'll see how the system works..
@epicure35 (2814)
• United States
24 Aug 10
I do not advocate leaving a marriage. Rather try to get it "off the rocks". Every relationship has its ups and downs and needs constant understanding, nurturing, work, and forgiveness, not just the marital relationship.
Divorce and the destruction of the family unit have long range detrimental consequences for all concerned, especially the children. The illusion of a "new life" has drawn many away from making a better life in the now and honoring their committment. How can children learn to honor their committments if not by example?
How can they feel safe when their homes are torn apart?
I hope you can find a friend or counselor who knows and thoroughly understands the nature and purpose of marriage.
@yspmyl (3435)
• Malaysia
23 Aug 10
Hi raynejasper,
I am sorry to hear about your situation. I know this is a hard time that many people will be facing somehow once in their life time. To hold the marriage, it need to be patient and give and take...Some time it will end up with something that you can never return back. That is not every people will want it to happen. A marriage, once end up with divorce, it is no return once the signature is down. And this will definitely bring some negative effect on your daughter.
However, I sympathy with your situation and actually to get a better pay from online, you can take a look in freelancer.com and there will have many job that one might suite you. I just hope that your marriage will one day back to it track. And never follow the nonreturnable way. Good luck!
@raynejasper (2322)
• Philippines
23 Aug 10
..thanks for your concern.. I do love and want my marriage to work out.. I feel pity for my daughter.. I just don't really know what to do right now.. thanks really.. God bless..
@lindaharding627 (1442)
• United States
24 Aug 10
I urge you to try counseling first before you give up on your marriage. Many churches will do so for free. Also a local mental health center usually goes on a sliding scale fee. Sometimes all a marriage needs is time away from each other- a separation period and people can work things out. Unless of course, there is any abuse happening then you need to try and find a way out in which case there are domestic abuse houses that may be able to help.
@raynejasper (2322)
• Philippines
24 Aug 10
..thanks for the concern.. I do appreciate all your your thoughts.. I'll consider them and think everything over and over again..
@amanda624 (1)
• United States
23 Aug 10
Every marriage has it's ups and downs that's what makes it marriage. You rejoice in the good times and talk it out through the bad times. My husband and I have had our share of troubles, but the bad times have made our marriage stronger. If I could give you one piece of advice it would be to look to the Lord for guidance. Look at your marriage and the Lord as a triangle. The top is the Lord and the bottom is you and your husband. As you grow closer to the Lord you will also grow closer to each other and make things better in your marriage.
@raynejasper (2322)
• Philippines
24 Aug 10
..hi amanda.. thank you so much.. yeah, I do have faith in god and I always pray for enlightenment for both of us.. the thing is, my husband doesn't seriously believe in God's power..
