Would it be rude?

Hm, I think I would be sneaky about it myself. I'd bring a card to the wedding, and then say in the card that I have a gift planned, but that it will be delivered later. No reason to explain why...

I don't think you are required to even send an e-mail to ask them that. Just go ahead and attend, and when you are able to give a gift, then you can send it to them. But if things happen and you for some reason cannot give a gift, there won't be that expectation that a gift is coming. If someone asks you about it at the wedding, then I'd go ahead and say the gift will be late. Otherwise, I wouldn't worry about it.

hi 3snugglebunnies if you do crafts there might be something you have made that might give them a one of a kind gift that they might treasure. otherwise I guess you will have to go withe the email idea. If they know you are having problems financially perhaps they will not be at all upset.

I do not think it would be rude, I am sure the couple would understand that money is tight, and I think in this way they can get all the gifts, find out what they are and maybe save you the trouble of getting them something they have already gotten? Do they have a registry do you know? My husband and I actually got gifts early, and well we got more money then we did gifts to be honest.

Well there is no shame in beign short of funds these days. Have you thought of an IOU for some service they would like done, wash the car, walk the dog, child care, wrap the Christmas gifts, I'm sure you could come up with something clever. Can't you just hear them years from now? Remember when Snuggle and family washed our car for a wedding present. I would bet yours would be one of the gifts they would never forget. Blessings

Don't send an email but speak to the wife to be and send them a lovely wedding card for them to keep. You do not have to go into any detail - just tell them that regretfully the gift that you are sending them will be a little late. Nothing else is required. And enjoy yourself when you go

I don't think you owe them any explanation or a gift. If they asked you to the wedding I am hoping they did it because they want to share this joyful day with you not for a gift! Handmade gifts are nice to, but maybe not enough time to do one, depends on your talents.

Hi Snugglebunnies, I really don't know what is considered proper or not these days. If it were my wedding, then I would understand perfectly if someone could not afford a gift. I mean, after all, I did not get married for the gifts I'd receive and I did not invite people in hopes of getting a gift. I invited people to share in our special day and to have a good time. Everyone is different. I think talking with the couple you might get a better idea on where they would stand on this issue. If you sense that it would bother them then I would decline on the invitation. As for being rude....NO you are not being rude at all. You are being honest about your situation and trying to do what's right.

Don't see why it'd be so wrong to go and not bring a gift at all! Does it say gift required? I thought weddings were about celebrating the couples happiness and starting their new wonderful life together. What's a gift got to do with that? Are we to believe that they won't be happy unless they get tons of gifts? Do they think they won't be happy unless they receive a gift from each guest? I know i is the nice thing to do, but is it absolutely required? Especially in this current depression we are in...if they only wanted me there for my gift, I'd rather not go. But, why not do a "coupon" card thing. "Good for 1 car wash" or something that you can do for them as a gift. How about "Good for one afternoon helping you write thank you notes for all the gifts you received"......

You should let your friend know what is really going on. I think a real friend would understnad your troubles right now. School,bills and food come first.

I wasn't aware that a gift was mandatory. I'll bet there are a lot of other people in the same boat as you! Guests at a wedding are there to celebrate the union, not give gifts. I know it is traditional but and even expected but your presence should be enough. I would not email them. Send regrets if you must but you are under no obligation to give a gift. You could give them a nicely printed house blessing in a pretty frame if you feel you must give something then attach a card good for a dinner, lunch, babysitting, etc. I think that's about all most couples can expect from normal people right now.

Hi, 3SnuggleBunnies. I think that you should bring them a Hallmark card that is very beautiful. And you can just plan to buy them something more special after wards. I am sure that this married couple is getting many other gifts from other people. It would not be so bad for them to miss out on an extra gift. If they are nice people that will understand then you could just try to send them an email about giving them a gift a little late. They will still be newly weds when you give their the gift anyhow.

dont send an email. go to the wedding and be honest with them and say that you are having money problems right now and cant give much but when you have more you give a bit more^^ if you send an email they might think you dont care to give them something or is just an excuse but if you say it in their faces and explain it they will see in your words you are saying the truth and for sure they will understand^^

I would bring it up indirectly,like how would you feel if some one comes to your wedding without a gift. You know, but at least bring them a card. Do not email, it would be the talk of the century. Your presence is worth more than the gift.

If you don't have the money, just tell them that the gift is in the mail. That's all you can do because you don't have the money right now. Also, I don't understand why people are getting married when the economy is so bad right now. It's strange.

The wedding invitation should not be about the gifts. In fact some couples prefer not to have the gifts at the wedding because then they must be taken care of before the honeymoon. I would not say anything about it being late, certainly not in an e mail. A pretty card for the day should be sufficient.

If i am in your shoe,i would rather give a card and write that gift is to follow later. No need to explain why,they could guess about it. Then,you can set your gift after a month,give it on their first month anniversary. Ok,you still broke by that time,a year anniversary gift is not bad at all

We are on the same boat. Finances are so tough lately that whenever we go to weddings, we simply go to church and wish them well without going to the reception. This way, we didn't break our promise to attend and it won't be much of a shame not to give them a gift regardless whether they know your financial situation or not. Hope this has helped. Good luck!

..i think it is fine, in my own opinion...if i were to invite someone in our wedding, i don't expect for a gift from them but of their presence for that special day in my life...=)

i don't think it's rude. just tell your friend the truth and she'll understand. the more important thing i guess is your time to attend the greatest time of her life than material things she would receive. :D