I have a new friend
By savypat
@savypat (20216)
United States
August 27, 2010 1:40pm CST
As often happens with me I have a new friend who is someone I have know casually for a while. She has had a very bad year, death in family, illness and generally just one of those years you wish you had hid under the bed for the whole thing. I have been giving her little bits and pieces of information about dealing with her
challenges, she has found these of value and now we are friends. But instead of equal friends it's more of a Mother Daughter type. She is only about 6 years younger then me but that doesn't seem to matter. I seemed doomed to always play Mom
Can I change this?
2 people like this
7 responses
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
27 Aug 10
Hi Pat
I don't know if you can change you see I have a couple of Friends like that to but they are the same age as my Children lol so it is understandable but in your case I really don't know
I guess because you have been so kind hearted and helped her along all this time she sees you as the Mum
You are her strength
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
28 Aug 10
Hi savypat! I don't know about changing the type of relationship that you have with your new friend. It might seem that these types of relationships are the ones that pull you in. You are drawn to people that need help. Not that it is a bad thing. They need you.
1 person likes this
@GDTimothy (446)
• United States
28 Aug 10
This has happened to me on occasion, except I'm the father figure instead of the mom! :-)
I usually don't see it as a problem, because in time, the friendship usually transforms into a more peer-like relationship. The only problem I've had is the women I meet that look up to me in a father-daughter way or brother-sister thing. And since I'm single, this can be quite frustrating, as you might imagine! But that's my lot in life I guess - I'm just the friendly kind of guy that women love to like, but don't like to love. ;-)
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
30 Aug 10
Perhaps the reason that you seem to be doomed to always play the role of a mother is because of the fact that you offer your advice to your friends. This isn't a bad thing at all and if you were to change that about yourself, then you wouldn't be the person that your friends know and love. I don't think that I would want to change it if it were I in your situation because that would really be making me a person that is different from the person that I really am.
