A fake friend???? Have you ever had this or felt this???

Canada
August 30, 2010 9:36am CST
Ok this is what is happening......As you know from my last post that my ex and I are trying to work it out and I also got my friendship back with his roomate I love her to pieces and we realized what mistakes we made and are moving on and being adults....Well the one who is being fake is the one I thought would be a good thing to be friends with her....My step sons Mother in other words the other ex wife....Well We have been talking on the phone as we both want the kids to see each other they are siblings and I thought and felt that is what she wanted too and that her husband was all for it and liked me too....WELL I couldn't of been more wrong... She even suggested that we both go to my ex Mother and law and try and work things out that she can have her grandkids back....I will get to the situation with my ex Mother N Law in a min.....With the other ex wife I've heard that her husband can't stand me and she doesn't like me she is using me for information.....Asking me if I've talked to our ex husband she has no clue we are working things out trying to find out info about him grrrrr it's ticking me off that and she wants to know every little thing I talk to his roomie and what do we talk about.....She is so fake....Plus when We went to visit her the other day My step son has changed and I mean changed for the worse he has his mother who gives a crap attitude....I'm scared to try with her as I fear it will cause problems yet for me and my honey again that is hard to get used to lol and we don't want that so I guess it's something we have to work on... As for my ex Mother N law we had a HUGE falling out I admitted and do take full responsibilty for what I've said to her and how I caused her pain and told her so....She comes back with a rather rude reply of saying how much she misses her granddaughter but not grandson??? WTH???? She then proecedes to agree to the meeting it would be great to get the kids together but she can't handle my attitude anymore and twisting everything onto me??? I mean really I said things that I shouldn't have but one thing that was for certain is that I was trying to get across how she was treating me and the kids since her son left and that I wan't it to be consistent visits....But it turned into a drama fest so lets just say i am give it alot more time
3 people like this
8 responses
• Taiwan
31 Aug 10
yeah that was once i was a huge friend with someone he was my best friend than he mucked me
2 people like this
• Canada
31 Aug 10
I'm sorry to hear that Dragon
1 person likes this
• Canada
30 Aug 10
I am pretty sure that everyone has had a fake friend in their life at some point. I have had some and the best way I have found to deal with them is once you find out that they are fake let them go. Don't continue to let her use you anymore would be my advice. As for your ex mother in law I really don't know what to say about that one. I have problems with my own that I would love to voice, but at the same time I hardly ever see her (maybe once or twice a year) so I am just civil when hubby's family comes around. My husband felt really embarassed by his family (mom, brother, brother's girlfriend, and his sister's 4 kids that his mum has custody of)the last time they came out as it was at our daughter's 4th birthday party that we had for her at the park in the beginning of August (her b-day was in June but I was very ill and couldn't have the party for her till 2 months later) but he too said oh well we ony see them a few times a year.
1 person likes this
• Canada
30 Aug 10
We do wanna let the fake friend go but she is the Mother of of my kids brother....So it is something I really have to think on....As for my ex Mother N Law I just need more time and if she isn't willing to meet me half way it won't work but I'm trying to think positive about the whole thing....Thanks for your response hun your advice means alot...
• Canada
30 Aug 10
My advice then with the mother of your kids brother would be to just be civil when you see her for the sake of the kids and that's it. If she tries asking for info, or about anything that you feel is none of her business then find an excuse to let her go if your talking on the phone. OR the next time you see her set some ground rules, and boundaries.
1 person likes this
• Canada
30 Aug 10
That is great advice and thanks......I know right now it's up in the air and I've been keeping my mouth shut as much as I can....I hoping it all works in the end...
@Hatley (164154)
• Garden Grove, California
31 Aug 10
hi blueangelrs wow in-laws. I was so lucky when my hubby was alive as we lived in California and my in-laws lived in Walla Walla Wash. I think we all have had at least one fake friend who did us in. My fake friend made a deliberate play for my hubby and I all but clobbered her, then told her if she ever kissed my husband that was again I would make mincemeat out of her. She did stay away.My husband really was innocent in the whole thing, as she ran up to him, threw her arms and legs around him and gave him a really passionate kiss. Her husband was watching her too. no wonder the man drank with her bussing other guys all the time.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164154)
• Garden Grove, California
31 Aug 10
should have been if she ever kissed my husband like that again, I would make mincemeat out of her. darned goofs.
1 person likes this
• Canada
31 Aug 10
Oh wow Hatley I have never had that before but however my fake friend did marry my husband before I did then had the nerve to ask me when we got back together why he loved me more then he ever loved her when she practially answered that question an hour before that on the phone the same night she said she married him because she wanted to be married at least once and have a kid and when she got what she wanted she left....Some ppl...
@m_perez (506)
• United States
31 Aug 10
I have this feeling currently and it irritates me. I hate it how someone can pretend to like you and be your friend just so that they themselves can benefit from it. Sometimes I don't even know why some people pretend to be a friend. I really am annoyed by people who are fake and make it too obvious. I feel like just yelling out to them. I currently have two friends who I feel as though they hate me or do not find interest in me but yet pretend to be my friend. I know one of these days I'll confront them about it. Well good luck to you.
• Philippines
31 Aug 10
why are they like that. what defines friendship if it's fake. sometimes you wonder being alone instead of just having so many people around. and then one or two actually talks back at you.or stab in your back. it's not safe to keep secrets from friends now.
1 person likes this
• Canada
31 Aug 10
I agree with both of you it's a terrible feeling to be used and have someone pretend to be my friend but I'm doing my atmost best to let is slide as she is the mother of my kids brother and I don't want them growing up not knowing each other....We shall see how long I can keep doing it
@GemmaR (8520)
30 Aug 10
I had a friend once who seemed to be really genuine, but when she got with her boyfriend she started to talk about me to him and that made me realise that she wasn't the person who she had made herself out to be all these years. I realise now, looking back, that she was just looking for someone who she could get to do whatever she wanted, and I also realise that I was that person, to her, for far too long. The most important thing to remember is that you should always be your own person. If you remember that, then you should be pretty much immune from fake friends, as people will realise that they can't get anything that they want from you.
1 person likes this
• Canada
30 Aug 10
Well said GemmaR! Sometimes fake friends have a way to sneak themselves in though, but when you realize that they are fake it usually best to get rid of them asap!
• Canada
30 Aug 10
I couldn't agree more......And I'm not gonna let fake friend get to me just keep an open mind and do what I have to do and what is best for me....
@chayapathys (2113)
• India
31 Aug 10
This is the experience of an individual.yes it is sad to know that there are only few genuine friends in the society.But spouse should be a faithful and real friend.We are bound to experience difference of opinion but that should not affect friendship.At the beginning we will not know their true nature.But once we come to know their realature it is better discontinue instead of facing problems later
1 person likes this
• Canada
31 Aug 10
Good insight thanks for your response.
• Philippines
31 Aug 10
this is one of the main reason i couldn't trust any one. most specially, if they have things to hide from you. people can pretend to be some one else. and something else that you usually expect from them. NOt only i learned this from my experience, but also from other lotters experience as they had even more larger issues. and because simply the person they trusted was FAKE. or a traitor.
1 person likes this
• Canada
31 Aug 10
That is a good point....Although my fake friend has tried to cover that up by saying happenings that have been going on that I later find out are false so ya creates another problem lol...HappyMylotting.
@Yoneh08 (99)
31 Aug 10
fake friends are everywhere that's why we should know how make the diffirence betwen them and real friends. As they say “True friends stab you in the front” and they are so difficult to find.However, fake friends are known by their attitude:he/she becomes friend of yours (or pretend it is the same) in orther to get an advantage from you and once done they let down !! I've experienced that and it was really harmfull especially when you rely hopes and share things .. it makes hard to just forget!
1 person likes this
• Canada
31 Aug 10
I can so related to that....That is what my fake friend is doing right now is using me to get information on a couple of other people and I'm not liking that at all...