I have decided to live until I die

United States
September 6, 2010 12:05pm CST
Tomorrow I am yet again forced to make another decision. Since losing my job of no fault of my own, with absolutely no income for 9 months now, I have been forced to lose so much in a short period of time. My home, my credit, many of my belongings and now even more losses. My phone contract is up and I can't afford to continue to pay for my lucrative cell phone any longer. I pay for my phone and both my children service. See We are all we got and we all live in different cities. It is my way of making sure I can communicate with them since they are all I have. I figured times are tough and if they had to pay for them well perhaps they would not be able to and how can I live with myself if we can no longer communicate. So my son will be doing his own plan, Bless his heart. My daughter can't afford her own, as she too lost her job as she also worked with me, so I have to make a decision to bring us both down to the most basic phones and well only be able to make and receive calls. Boy did I cry... not because I won't have the only one luxury left but that WHY, why do I have to lose everything. Haven't I lost enough? Makes me feel like such a failure. I have been sending resumes and applications by thousands on a daily basis and well I am so overqualified no one will hire me. Help me friends understand why this great person has had to work so hard alone to obtain all I have earned and in a drop of a pin the economy now calls me a statistic and I am forced to be just live until I die.
17 people like this
43 responses
@GardenGerty (158076)
• United States
6 Sep 10
As you travel around this website you will find lots of people in the same boat. You need to do something that makes you still be in control. If you have something to give away, do it. I had a friend over forty years ago that took care of her mom, her own kids, and her sisters kids and her brothers kids, all on her income, in a tiny house. She donated her time as a scout leader. She told me then, and I accepted it, that you never are really poor if you have something to give. Do not just exist, but look for ways to really live.
• United States
6 Sep 10
I am afraid I have given so much already, although there are some days it is too hard to get out of bed I do it anyways. I find some days I sit in front of my pc and stare at it until the tears begin to flow. I do a lot of community service and donate my time where ever I can it just seems that my efforts are wearing me out. Thanks I will continue to remember this. I find your words to be very inspiring.
4 people like this
@GardenGerty (158076)
• United States
7 Sep 10
I was hoping that they did not seem unsympathetic. I will not believe the economy is turning around until all of my friends are taken care of. I sometimes just wish I could make a grand tour and fix everything for every one of them.
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Sep 10
One thing I have learned during my whole downturn this time around is that I will never forget the sincere myLot friends that wll and are still struggling and I plan and that point to donate myLot earnings to all sincere myLot members that could use the extra bucks
3 people like this
• United States
6 Sep 10
I'm so sorry you are going through this! My friend is in the same situation. She has a degree and 10 years exp. under her belt, and she can't even get a job at mcDonalds because she is overqualified. It really is a shame that this is happening to so many hard working people. Did you apply for unemployment? Get turned down? That kind of seems like a dumb question because obviously you would try that... I hope that you find another form of employment soon. Keep your head up. This economy is actually hardest on those who deserve to be working the most. You are not alone in this.
• United States
6 Sep 10
I sure did, see none of us received our last paycheck and none of us received unemployement. I have had to dish out well over $5000 in attorney fees and well here I am today, no good news and no money left. As for McDonald's I here you, I have been told I am way too overqualified so I suppose the economy expects me to curl and die. Thanks for responding and reminding me that I am not alone, in fact each time I hear another story it depresses me even more to know that so many of great people are suffering so much.
3 people like this
@Polly1 (12645)
• United States
6 Sep 10
I'm so sorry your having such a tough time. I think most of us here can tell you about how tough we are having it. When I get to feeling sorry for myself I try to think of others that have it so much worse then me. There are people who are dieing, people who have no arms or legs. People who are being abused, hungry or homeless people. Try to keep the faith, somehow someway it will get better. At least that is what I have been telling myself. I just said a prayer for you. I hope and pray that things start looking up for you. Now stand up, brush yourself off and really live until you die.
2 people like this
@Polly1 (12645)
• United States
6 Sep 10
My heart breaks for you. I have read some of the other responses. Our Hatley is a testamony for keeping the faith. She is a great lady, I have heard her story before but reading it again broke my heart again for her. Listen to her, she is a wise and smart lady. Your life will get better. I read that you have a boyfriend, hang onto each other. I'm happy for you, at least you don't have to go thru all of this alone. I also read that you might be close to being homeless and sometimes don't know if your gonna eat. Again I am so very sorry. Your a hard working girl and your ship will come in.
• United States
7 Sep 10
Thanks Polly all I can do is try, somedays my spirits are high then others are just not so good. I will try I just can't guarnatee everyday will be a good one. I appreciate yor reading all and thanks so much for caring.
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Sep 10
I will try but can't guarantee I will succeed only thing is that my faith weakens from time to time as I need to worry about how I am going to eat some days. But thanks for your response and i will try harder.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
6 Sep 10
Hello there, I do understand how hard it is to live and strive hard to live. I also been into same situation and till now trying to get up from my losses. I always look every loss as a challenge for my strength and capacity. Sometimes i can't help but cry and sigh the least i could do. Always get up dear and don't ever give up,there is always a reason for everything,from failures to success.
2 people like this
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
6 Sep 10
Don't lost your faith,i know it's easy to say things and give advices. But i can assure you dear,i am writing these words from my own experiences. I was been a broken heart and financially broke too. I had my kids with me that i need to feed and send to school,i am not yet employed. With God's help i am able to survive for our daily needs and so with my kids studies,plus my training. Keep holding on dear
3 people like this
• United States
6 Sep 10
jaiho, thanks hon I really apprecaite your reply. I will pray for you and your kids and that anything good that would normally be shared to me that it goes your way. God Bless you and your kiddies.
3 people like this
• United States
6 Sep 10
I have given up on tring to figure out why, I am trying to survive. There are days I get up fully powered up but after a few hours of my phone being blown up with creditors well it tears me back down. See I have been an overly responsible person and feel that this is just not me. I have accepted that this is my life and there is nothing that is going to change it right now. I pray and pray really hard that at least let me be able to eat Lord and have a roof over my head that's all. The rest I will try and work out on my own. But for some reason those last two necessities may be coming to an end as well so I can't help but lose my faith. Thanks I will remember your words always.
3 people like this
@saphrina (31552)
• South Africa
6 Sep 10
You know sweetie, life is not of what you have and achieve. It is the way you live it. Okay, you have lost a lot, but think about this for a second. What do you still have that is the most precious ever? Answer that and you will see that whether you get a job soon or not, you still have that. Don't take everything so serious it tend to worsen any situation. Relax and take one day at a time. You will find a job and then you will laugh at yourself over this discussion. Luck. TATA.
2 people like this
@saphrina (31552)
• South Africa
6 Sep 10
Sweetie, you do not seem to be the kind of person who will ever give up. It will go better, you just have to believe it. We will always be reminded of what went wrong in our lifes. We just need to cope with it. Whatever you do, do not give up. Prayers get answered and friends and family will always take a step closer, okay.
2 people like this
@saphrina (31552)
• South Africa
6 Sep 10
Sorry to say this, sweetie. Those kind are not your friends. We call them here weather friends. If you get my meaning. You have always coped n your own, wasn't easy, but you got this far, haven't you? Prayers will lift your spirit, sweetie. Even if it takes a while.
2 people like this
• United States
6 Sep 10
saphrina this time period for me had taught me something. Friends, HA! I kid you not that I have hundreds if not thousands of friends. So I thought. See I have never had a family I grew up in the foster system being bounced from home to home. So the only true family I have are my 2 kids I raised on my own. So during this time period, not a single freinds has called, text and or emailed me to even see if I am ok. Not even my best friend. Yesturday I received an email and I was so excited from one of my dear friend. No hi, how are you or anthing. She simply asked that a friend of hers was running a marathon and if there was anyway I could donate with a little something. Donate with a little something. Oh my God! See I would give you my lst dime. But this email was insulting. My friends know what I am going through and not a one has even taken a second to see if I am even alive. I learned though that my circle of life needs changing fast. So I have literally secluded myslef at home and only go out if I have to personally take a resume somewhere and well that has not worked out to date. So I wiil keep praying and hoping that at least my spirits can uplift.
3 people like this
@rameshchow (4426)
• India
7 Sep 10
The news polls says that the american growth rate is so good, and the GDP also good, then why the common man faces all these problems, isn't it the duty of government to give employment to the youth of america.
2 people like this
• India
7 Sep 10
but the media shows the obama government as a great government, we(rest of the world) also have great expectations on present employment situation in america.
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Sep 10
Obama is doing a great job with the oh so many issues at hand, unfortunatley there are so many like me that are made to wait. Although I lose hope, I somehow gather strength and I begin all over again to try yet again.
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Sep 10
rameshow the polls about increase in growth rate are a misconception as they only take into acoount the people who are currently on unemployment. They do not count the ones like me who has never received unemployment and they do not count the ones that exhausted their benefits. So for the government to say things are looking great it is because people like me are not counted in these statistics. Unfotuntaley.
2 people like this
@narayan2006 (2954)
• India
6 Sep 10
It is a very difficult time for many families in USA where the economy is reeling under great recessionary pressure. The situation is not so bad in several other Asian countries where the earning opportunities are fast rising due to rising consumption.Some consumer goods and big companies like Amway are growing fast in India and China. It is possible to explore ways to overcome financial problems by networking and building alliances with friends of other countries.Thanks.
2 people like this
• United States
6 Sep 10
I believe you when you say this see, I use to be so very popular, and when I say this I mean I have countless hundreds and maybe towards the thousands of friends. See I have never had outside of my two kids family. So I am going through this slump and where the heck are my friends. Do you know not a single one calls, texts and or emails to see if I am even okay. But wait yesturday I got an email. I was so excited that my dearest freind sent me an email. So I read this email no hello, how are you or anthing right. She sends me this email to ask if there is anyway I could donate to this cause a friend of hers is doing. What?? See I am all for giving, I would give my lst crumb seriously but what do you mean if I can give. How about giving me a few words of encouragement that is all I ask for. Thanks for replying and to let you know know of my friends have hever accepted being myLot members as a referral or even on their own. Even though I have expressed it would help me a great deal. While I have been a member here I have found that people from all over the world have been so true to me. So thanks friends I really appreciate your response.
1 person likes this
@zeethegr8 (785)
• India
7 Sep 10
Oh my God! I don't why sometimes The Lord tests his loved ones far beyond the level they can actually bear. I'll pray for you and your loved ones from today onwards. And I'm going to reply to all your started discussions right away. God bless you people. Be strong, have faith.
2 people like this
• United States
7 Sep 10
Zee thank you so much as this is what I do, I pray for all who are going through hardships, I go as far as asking that if any point one single prayer for me could be answered that it is directed towards someone who needs it more. Bless you dear and have a Blessed Day!
@thanks1961 (7035)
• India
7 Sep 10
Hi dear, Like me, many are here helpless to anything for you. But, as you are being a US citizen, I think some of our myLoter form here can help you if they know about a suitable position for you or any one from your family. Even I request our myLot team also to find a better position for our friend. Here a chance for an entry is itself is a help at this point of time. I think if you try other than US, will it help you. Are you in a position to start any type of business with law or nil investment? If anyone is ready to start a business, provide your man power as your input and try with someone to have a start up. I know many are out of service and looking for an entry at any level. 9 moths is not a short period of time without a job and having a family. Hope you will find a better position soon, and let me pray for you and your family. Best of luck and hearty regards, Thank-s
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Sep 10
Oh dear friend I certainly appreciate your wonderful words. For some odd reason I am made to bare to the bone. I have tried so many endless avenues to be turned away because of my over qualifications. I have no pride, I went from 100k a year to zero. Okay so I need to eat and pay rent, so I even applied at McDonald's and Burger King for a minimum wage job and was turned away because I am just over qualified. We have considered moving out of this city I have lived for my entire life with the hopes that perhaps some other town and or country would open their hearts and give me an opportunity. Trouble is we have no means. Prayer my friend is what I resort to every other second of the day, hoping that maybe not be rich but just to allow me to provide our basic means. Thanks so much dear for praying for my family, sometimes when so many us come together hope is re-gained. Be Blessed.
• United States
7 Sep 10
I printed his reply and have it pasted next to my desk as each time I pray I keep his wisdom in my prayer. Thanks Crazy for replying this means a great deal. I often pray that all with hardships receive at least a tiny piece of peace.
• India
7 Sep 10
I think "thanks1961" has given a wonderful answer with solution..think on that
1 person likes this
• India
6 Sep 10
Generally I don't like to give reply to discussions but your pain forced me to reply here..It is very easy for others to give advice, So I will not give any advice but I can do one thing for you "I WILL PRAY FOR YOU , You will be in my prayers tonight"
2 people like this
• United States
6 Sep 10
Thanks Crazy for your reply and taking the time to read my discussion. I so appreciate your prayers my childen and I will be so grateful
1 person likes this
@aurorastorm (1131)
• United States
7 Sep 10
hardworkinggurl- I was not on much over the weekend and just read your post with tears in my eyes. Your situation breaks my heart, even more so now that I found out you never had parents. I can't even begin to fathom what you have been through with that. I wont offer you advice, because I know you do not really need any advice, but a shoulder to cry on, so that is what I will continue to offer you my shoulder to cry one. I will also offer you my sincere wishes and prayers that you will come out of this one day on the winning end. I know you through mylot and I know you are one of the most caring people I have ever met, and those people who claimed to be your friends were really not your friends and you have way more support on here then those so called friends could ever give you.
2 people like this
• United States
7 Sep 10
Thanks for caring and I appreciate your shoulder and ears. I do hope someday I can look back but not for the bitterness just so that I know that there will be others in the same and or worst situation. I have quite a road ahead of me now as now my boyfriend lost his job also and well although he is a struggling actor he is also an independent contractor and here in US construction has slowed down with the economy and being independent there is no unemployment either. We are discussing leaving and going out south, I will not be happy I would be miserable as my children will not be able to follow and I am a city girl so going out to the boonies will be quite an adapting time for me. But what else can we do as if we can't pay the rent and then the reminders of having lost my home then we have no choices left. I do hope even a little something will come through as I am so hoping I can stay if even just to pay rent and buy even just a little food to get us by. Hon, I have gotten to know your sincerity and it means the world to me. Thanks for lending your shoulder and I have been praying for you also.
1 person likes this
@devijay78 (1573)
• India
6 Sep 10
I know what you are going through. I know how hard it would be when you loose your job. Keep the faith. Don't ever loose heart. My father always says that there are ups and downs in life and one should be bold enough to fight till the end and never give up. Persistence pays, in one form or the other. From your responses I figured that you are a strong and intelligent person. Keep trying girl. You will be in my prayers tonight. And in many of your mylot friends' as well. Try for other options. I don't know your financial situation and your qualification, but why not try to start a business with what you know? It is just a suggestion. There are a number of businesses which do not need much investments. But I don't know what will work for you. Like I said, explore other options. Hope this helps.
• United States
6 Sep 10
I will do just that. Tomorrow I will begin by explore part time work. It seems that the full time avenue does not want to give me a chance. Part-time I suppose is better than nothing. Thanks for the prayers as I have done the same, each time I read a discussion of other misfortunes I too pray for them. So thanks friend this I will try.
2 people like this
• United States
6 Sep 10
Thanks and Good Luck to you also.
@devijay78 (1573)
• India
6 Sep 10
Some times all we have to do is try. I am on the lookout for part time work too. I have serious health issues and cannot work full time in any office. So anything which can be done from home should be fine with me. Hope you get that smile on your face pretty soon. God bless you.
1 person likes this
@cajimenez (452)
• Philippines
6 Sep 10
Patience , hope, we need it to survive and keep going. We need to focus on every solution and alternatives we can think of. We should not let our feelings of discouragement and failures rules us. Though it's only easy to say it. We must do it. I believe there's a way to all of our miseries. Good luck , and don't forget to strive to be happy even in the most unfortunate times.
2 people like this
• United States
6 Sep 10
I use to be he happiest person alive, in fact sometimes I wondered if people thougt something was wrong with me as I always walked around with a smile. I use to try against odds to never show my feelings. But my brain has been overpowered by so much unhappyness that for a very long time nothing makes me truly happy. I will continue to try but the feeling of weakness hs become very unbareable. Thanks for your words of insipiration. All I can do is try and well if I continue to fall what have I lost, except for dignity and that went out the window a ver long time ago.
1 person likes this
@superbug (21)
• India
7 Sep 10
Hi Hardworkinggurl, I admire your courage, your strength! I really do! I won't say that I understand what you are going through. Cause probably I can't! But I did try to put myself in your shoes, and I kinda figured it out right away that had it been some namby-pamby loser like me :( in your place, he'd have quit trying long ago. What you are doing makes you a real-life Hero. And I'm not saying it just for the sake of comforting you or something! I am saying it cause I mean it! :) Just hold-on! It takes a night-full of wait to experience the beauty that the dawn brings us. And for a brave-soul like you, who have sustained so much pain already, that dawn must not be too far away. Probably a few years from now, when you'll look back at it, you will realize that if you could sustain this, you can sustain virtually anything in life :) All the best girl!! :)
2 people like this
• United States
7 Sep 10
Thank you Superbug for your wonderful words. Never in my wildest hardworking years have I or could I have imagined this oh so rocky road I am facing. My spirits are like a roaring roller-coaster where there is absolutely no excitement but more like horror. I am praying and praying hard that no on ever gets put in this predicament, especially when they have worked so very hard. I do hope someday I could just look forward and never have to look back at these feelings of deep depression I am undergoing. My children and I cry so much as we just do not understand how good headworking people are the ones who must pave the path for others to learn from Be Blessed.
2 people like this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
31 Oct 11
Reading this discussion my friend, and knowing who you are today, even though you are still without a job, and have lost a lot of these things God still continues to provide for you and one day it will all be worthwhile. So glad that you are able to keep up here each day and to bless us with your presence. I know things are tough out there for so many, but we have a God in control and one day this too shall pass and we will be a better people because of it.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Nov 11
Tina as you have responded to my new discussion today, I am not feeling an ounce of being proud yet. I will not give up though and will continue to try and do know that it is not and will not end on our time. God is definitely in control and hoping that he allows me some relief soon. I am not sure why over and over I must learn something but hoping it ends sometime soon.
@34momma (13882)
• United States
7 Sep 10
Listen i have been there too. I was out of work for a whole year a few years back. with two young boys and no job. I didn't have a cell phone back then. but i had to turn off my house phone, and i had to turn off the cable and I had to go and get welfare for a while. trust me it get's better. You have to keep your head up no matter how hard it is. You have to know in your heart that it will get better. and you have to trust in that. it got better for me. Not did i find a job, but i found the man of my dreams. we had a daughter together and are more in love right now then we have ever been before! so just hold on and keep on sending out your resume. go sign up for some temp agnencies. and keep doing whatever you need to do get back on track
@34momma (13882)
• United States
8 Sep 10
It's all about getting knocked down but getting back up. You know the saying.. If it doesn't kill ya it can only make you stronger! Keep it up everyone.. Soon we will all be strong enough to be super heros! LOL
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Sep 10
Oh momma how inspiring of you. I will not give up I just get exhausted sometimes that I end up losing hope. I know it can't get any worse I will continue to try and pray for better days. I am so happy for your love and wonderful life. God Bless you and your family and have a fantastic day!
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Sep 10
Momma- Congratulations on your new life! I think your advice is right on target. I have been out of work since late 2007 (mortgage professional), and I have stopped looking for work- it is just too much. I do things in the community, barter, trade. I too have a new relationship in my life that has made all the difference. But more importantly I have completely changed the way I perspective of life. When you subtract money, hierarchy and societal judgment the world looks much different- your refection looks different too.
2 people like this
@cher913 (25782)
• Canada
7 Sep 10
i am sorry to hear about your situation. please dont be down on yourself, that is the worst thing you can do. see, my hubby was off work for 9 long months too. so i sorta know how you feel.
1 person likes this
@srjac0902 (1170)
• Italy
7 Sep 10
When the problems hit hard its very difficult to have faith. Yet your anchor should be your inner self. Deep within there is an answer, a solution. When will it come to the shore? PATIENCE PATIENCE AND PATIENCE.... Never to lose hope just because you are human. Speak out yes speak louder and don't forget to whisper to your inner self. At the center of your inner self there is God who listens. It is the law of the Nature. Very simple, After the dark Night, sheds the dawn and a glorious Morn, Oh! whet Majesty when the Sun glides in, See the Lotus and the flowers and leaves they open up themselves to receive what the Sun has to offer. Then comes the midday, the scorching sun , then the soothing evening, the sunset, the cool breeze. Summer is followed by rainy season, then comes the winter then the spring time keeps everyone in high spirits. You will not be crying your whole life. You said you will be living until you die, yes Live to the fullest with faith. Knock, seek, Search for the local Government and private welfare offices, Even school and College, Hostel authorities, Take it as a challenge, Let us see from which direction you see the rays of brilliant sun.
• United States
7 Sep 10
srjac how inspirational, I will try my hardest to do just that. I really appreciate your lovely words. I got up from my computer and went across the street to the park and I sat on the bench and enjoyed the beautiful sun. I was able to clear my mind or 1 hour which did me good, but now I am back to face reality one step at a time.
• United States
7 Sep 10
Thank you for responding and I hope all has somewhat improved with your family. Although he is working I understand that it does take quite sometime to really let go of the past and start new especially after all the loss. Be Blessed and hope your family thrives with blessings.
• India
7 Sep 10
I am sorry to know about your job loss. It would be such a difficult time for you which I can not imagine being not in the same situation. At the same time I admire your will power and strength that you carry for you and the family. I can feel that you are such a strong person and this situation is temporary for you. You will be back on track soon from your own efforts. God is great and he will do justice with you as well. Wish you all the Best and hope that GOD give you strength to fight all these obstacles in life.
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Sep 10
Ajay that is all I ask, see when I pray I do not ask for a home, food, or riches. I ask God to please forgive me for my lose in his faith. That I am willing to work and work hard just to be able to provide my basic needs. I really appreciate your wonderful words. I am hoping that someday I will look back but not the sorrow of my situation, but to always remember that yet another brother and or sister out in the world could quite possibly going through this and or worse. So thanks friend I will ask God for strength and peace in my life. Be Blessed.
• China
8 Sep 10
I really appreciate your situcation, your concern and your worries, because I have once experienced the same difficulty as you had. But fortunately, I have a healty body and I don't need to see a doctor, so even though I have no cash during the job-losing days, I used my credit card to buy the things only in supermarket( because groceries don't accept credit card). Fortunately, even though I lost my full-time job, I earned a little which could support my daily basic supply by doing the part-time job: teaching in the training center. By the way, where is your husband, please? Do your husband have a job, if he does, then please don't worry, the bread will come to you.
• United States
8 Sep 10
I appreciate your response and no I do not have a husband I have been blessed with living with a wonderful man, my boyfriend unfortunately the economy just hit him hard as well, he has now been unemployed for a month. We are struggling and trying to survive, each day it is a learning curb and each day we try to make the best with what little we have. It has brought us closer together and making us to take a really hard look at how we see things. Be blessed.
• Philippines
18 Dec 10
life is life! you can't let your life fall on a bad ways, you have the responsible to take care of it... go life and go success - don't think negative, let life success and nothing.. that's how life manage. Be positive and think more strategies to live confident and convenient.
• United States
18 Dec 10
Thanks for responding sandra, and yes negativity has a great impact in our lives, although no matter how positive we can sometimes want to be it sure can be out weighed by all the negativity. I have come a long way since this discussion, and although not out of the woods yet I find I am much more hopeful now. Have a wonderful day.