Do you put Family 1st when they do you wrong?

I don't think it is wrong to tell her so particularly when you have given enough time and consideration for her to look for her own apartment. You have your own life to consider. On the other hand, it would appear she was taking advantage of your kindness. People tend to be that way, particularly relatives (sorry for saying so.) I have a similar experience with a niece. I allow her to stay with us (she is working but lives far from her workplace.) But then, she would stay out late and often not come home and not informing me. This goes against my grain coz we are of a conservative background. I gave her 15 days to move out so she can truly be independent with nobody minding her staying out late or sleeping out. I told her that. But know what? I don't think I can actually do that. Lol. Still family. Poor me! haha

After reading the above comment and your response. Sounds like you done more than you share to try to help your sister. Although she is confuse by this boyfriend of hers, it appears she will not be responsible unless you gave her this tough love lesson. Always be there as she will come back to you for advice, and from what it sounds like you will always be there, you just hoping she comes to her senses and realizes she heading in the wrong direction with this boyfriend. Good luck to you and I hope you sister appreciates all you have and still will continue to do for her even though she acting a bit stubborn.

I do not think you were in the wrong. You have to set limits or she will take advantage of you forever. She is not helping her kids to have a good life at all. I am glad that your family now knows what was going on. I would not be surprised if there was never a real apology. Sometimes family is just that way. Continue to be a loving presence for your niece and nephew.

You were perfectly right to tell her to leave. She could not control her kids and who knows what they would have done? By the way those children are going to have a rude awakening when they find that not many will tolerate their actions and your sister will only have herself to blame.

I think you need to have a day to talk with your sister. You should talk clearly about every things, about your true thinking. If you don't tell her, you keep your feels for a long time, you'll broke your relationship with her.

No, I do not think you were wrong. Seems to me that you and your bf were trying very hard to help her out by cutting back on hours so you could watch her children for her. You were the one being inconvenienced. It is very hard not to want to help relations when they are having troubles. However, you have to watch out that you do not end up being taken advantage of. Years ago, I too tried to help a relative when her husband left her with two children and no where to go as he cleaned out the bank account before leaving. I offered her a place to live while she found a job and an apartment. I and my hubby took turns, as we worked different hours, watching her children when she was working. We charged her nothing for board or watching her children. She started going out after work for hours and leaving the house during the days she was off and vanishing for hours, with not so much as an explanation. She also became very demanding and started becoming very cranky and rude. This went on for a couple of months until I finally became fed up and told her to leave. Yes, other relatives thought that I had been hard on her but none of them offered her any help at all. Sometimes you have to look out for yourself especially when those you are trying to help don't seem to appreciate it.