Just because my child is crying does not mean, that I have done something bad.
By cream97
@cream97 (29087)
United States
October 1, 2010 1:07pm CST
An older woman that is in her late 50s came by my apartment today to get something from me. At that time, my youngest daughter was crying really loud. She was almost screaming too. My daughter was upset because she wanted something out of the kitchen to eat. I had to go into another room for something and my daughter was not patient enough to wait on me. I was coming back to the kitchen in a few seconds to give my daughter something to eat or to drink. So she was crying because she did not get her way when she wanted it. When I opened up the door after hearing the woman knocking, she asked me what did I do to my daughter. She was not joking, she did not have a smile or a grin on her face. I told her that I did not do anything. My daughter was having one of her tantrums. And I left it at that. I did not try to explain anything more to her. She can believe what she wants to believe. I know that I did not hurt my daughter or hit her. Why do people assume that just because a child is crying, means that someone has hit them or have done something so cruel to them? I know that in many cases, this is true, but just not in my case. The police officer that served the eviction yesterday at my apartment did not ask me what did I do to my youngest daughter. She was crying at that time too. If anything, shouldn't the police officer have asked what did I do to her instead of this woman? Everyone knows that police officers are suspicious of many things that tend happen.
8 people like this
27 responses
@shaggin (71663)
• United States
2 Oct 10
That is ridiculous that someone would come to your door and say that to you and mean it. A lot of people say it but just jokingly. Even then it can be really annoying. Kids cry over tons of different things not just from being hurt. And if a child was crying from being hurt so says your the one who did it to her. What are you being evicted for?
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29087)
• United States
2 Oct 10
Hi. shaggin. I am being evicted for late payment of rent. My manager knows all about this. She has even asked my how husband how much that he has so far to put down on the rent. She was trying to work with us. But by next month, the rent will be increasing out here. My husband is not trying to pay, $675.00 for a three bedroom out here. It is just not worth it. He just plans to us move out. We would gain more, once we are in another place anyway.
@shaggin (71663)
• United States
2 Oct 10
Aww thats sad that your family is having a hard time paying for your rent. Rent is so expensive. Do you get heat and things included or do you have to pay seperately. My ex is living in a fairly large apartment for $525 a month and the heat is included. It really isnt a bad price at all. Most places charge around that and the heat is not included so I think hes very lucky. $675 a month does sound like a lot but it depends as well on how nice the place is. If its a very elegant rental it will definitly cost more. Good luck with this.
1 person likes this
@maygodblessu44 (7336)
• India
4 Oct 10
Hello my friend cream97 Ji,
I think, it is individual's choice and feeling with everyone I think everyone of us should pay heeds to theior affairs without peeping in other affairs. It is only that you know why your daughter was weeping and no one else. Just try and overlook such things May God bless You and have a great time.
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
3 Oct 10
Cream she had no right to knock on your Door and ask this
Children throw Tantrums specially Girls
The World today is ' lets be nosy lets cause trouble and accuse and judge People
It is sad but that is how it is
Next time just tell her none of her business and shut the door on her Face
@bellis716 (4799)
• United States
3 Oct 10
The woman who asked what you did to your daughter worded her inquiry badly. I agree with you that she had no reason to assume that you had hurt your daughter just because the child was crying. She might have asked, in a kind manner, if the child had an accident or just what is the matter.
1 person likes this
@harmonee (1228)
• United States
3 Oct 10
Sometimes it's best to let your child cry. I do not give my son EVERYTHING that he wants and if he is crying because I wouldn't let him play with my cell phone or have a can of soda, it's not that I did anything wrong. Sometimes you are doing something that would protect them. I wouldn't let it bother you. This woman obviously is getting into business that is not hers. Sorry to hear about your eviction. Good luck.
1 person likes this
@asyria51 (2861)
• United States
2 Oct 10
My daughter has started a phase where if i leave the room, she starts to bawl. Since she is so inquisitive, I do not let her in the kitchen while I have anything on that gets hot. So everyday at dinner time it sounds like my child is getting abused, she screams and carries on so.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
2 Oct 10
Hi Cream,
Good that you did not go into an explanation to that nosy neighbor of yours. Kids cry and throw tantrums and their noise does not mean that anyone did anything at all to them other than perhaps say "no". I actually never had anyone approach me like that. My girls all had their moments and I had people that would ask if everything was alright or even ask if they could help. They didn't just assume that I'd done something to them. That's horrible!
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
2 Oct 10
hi cream oh my that woman should have realized that little girls really tend to be shrill and scream over the most minor things, and that you '
surely were not hurting her in any way. A tantrum should ha
ve been something the woman was conversant with if she had ever had little'ones of her own. I am sorry she thought the worst of you without the slightest reason really.But think of this, if there had been a different mom who was the kind to hurt a child she might have helped an innocent child. but in your case she had no need for concern. so I would just let it roll off me and consider she thought she was being helpful.
ve been something the woman was conversant with if she had ever had little'ones of her own. I am sorry she thought the worst of you without the slightest reason really.But think of this, if there had been a different mom who was the kind to hurt a child she might have helped an innocent child. but in your case she had no need for concern. so I would just let it roll off me and consider she thought she was being helpful.1 person likes this
@shibham (16977)
• India
2 Oct 10
yes, there are some persons who always tend to interfere in other's personal lives. so stupid.... to them my answer is whatever you think thats the reason, as u have said.."She can believe what she wants to believe".
in case of that police officer, he better knows a daughter and mom relations.
take care.
1 person likes this
@shia88 (4571)
• Malaysia
2 Oct 10
Hi,
SOme people don't even question in detail the situation happened and
already make the final wrong decision. If I were you, I will
explain to the woman that my kid is throwing the tantrum and she is crying
not because I hit her or what.
Also it is best to let your daughter know that you will get the thing she
want rather than let her throw her tantrum all the time.
I know that she is still a small kid and may not understand,but with your
patience to train her, I believe she can be a good girl at home and won't
throw her tantrum anyhow.
Being a parent is not easy...from my own experience, i really have to be patience
to handle my boy all the time.but sometimes, I will lost control and beat him
when he really make me get mad. Most of the time, I will tell him nicely not to
do it and after few reminders, he still persistant in doing it,then I may have
to use more tougher way to handle him.
1 person likes this
@eurekafemme (5877)
• Philippines
2 Oct 10
I can empathize with you, Cream....
People are some times too nosy and suspicious as if everybody is so cruel.Babies and children are like that, or maybe that woman has never had a child of her own before that she doesn't know this is just normal...Tsk.tsk...
She could have asked you what's wrong?... instead of asking you what did you do... she was insinuating something not really cool about you....
Ah, people... 
1 person likes this
@triplejazzm51 (1373)
• Philippines
2 Oct 10
I think the cry of a child who was hurt is different than that of a tantrum. I agree with you that the woman should have asked first what happen to your daughter before she concluded.
@marcmm (1804)
• Malaysia
2 Oct 10
you are right. kids always cry when their request are not granted and I have see on kid just slamming himself at the floor at the supermarket just because their parents didn't buy him a toy. Sometimes it is the best to say "NO" to our kid even if that mean to make them cry.
My son which was 21 months, cry as loud as he can when we stop him from doing something that we don't like. He jus cry even if I don't lay a hand on him.
For those who concern when hear a kid cry, thank you for your concern. But my warning to them, don't be too suspicious and worst don't even call a cop and children welfare organization. We didn't do anything to our kids. It just they want to cry to make us do thing their own way and we show them who's the BOSS.
1 person likes this
@emblaze (23)
•
2 Oct 10
Parenting nowadays is hard. Children are more prone to tantrums. They tend to cry when they don't get want they want immediately. This maybe for a number of reasons-some say from watching tvs.. People with no children doesn't understand this kind of situations- crying bouts. Of course, nobody wants to hear a child crying. But one should not guess that they know everything. THat woman doesn't know what happen between you and your daughter. She already assumed something perhaps even before she knocked on your door. She simply is a nosey person.. As long as you didn't do any harm to your child you must not feel bad. I don't like dealing with those kind of people. Maybe next time, to avoid further "crying spells" try to communicate with your daughter. It's time to teach her little by little how to be patient and to accept that you cannot do things all at once and you're not a "super mom". I should know, I'd been there.
@celticeagle (159400)
• Boise, Idaho
2 Oct 10
People think the worst possible thing especially if they don't know you or the child. People always want to think the worst. Police officers are suspicious because they walk in a world where they are told all kinds of lies on a daily basis. They believe in the phrase "guilty until proven innocent" with just cause.
1 person likes this
@indahfth (11161)
• Indonesia
1 Oct 10
I also experienced the same thing. I was rebuked by many people, because my child was crying. They blamed me, and holding my child. I did not hit my child, I also did not hurt my child. But they say, I am a bad mother, for letting my child cry. At that time I just advised my son, so, stop playing games, because my child had a very long game play. But my child does not want and end up crying. They do not want to ask first, excuse my child cry. They directly blame me. Very sad, because it is considered as, a bad mother.
1 person likes this
@thebest1 (658)
• Romania
1 Oct 10
hello,Cream!
Sometimes kids cry only because they don't see their moms and they want to see them everytime.I don't think so that you can control it.Or they can cry because they're hungry,but this don't means that you don't get her food lol!
So,my advice is:forget that women.She can believe what she want.Because you know that you don't do anything wrong and this is enough for you!
Happy lotting!
@luisadannointed (4171)
• Philippines
1 Oct 10
Well sometimes you just need to understand people like them... sometimes they really cares... or sometimes maybe they suffered those kind of things in the past, that's why when the woman heard someone is crying she gets alarmed. But I do understand how you feel that day... I feel very bad when people misunderstood me or being judge when I don't do anything to be judge... hehehe... just cheer up and don't let them penetrate you... God bless you, and I pray God will bless your heart a more humble heart as a mother and a wife... and may God bless you wisdom that can discern things. God bless you and your family.
@pastigger (612)
• United States
1 Oct 10
I think this woman never had children or hers must have never cried. My daughter is 3 now and has discovered just how loud she can be when she wants to. Most of the time is she is being really loud it is because she didn't get her way or something minor like she can't find something. Children will do this and the best thing that you can do sometimes is let them cry. People with children understand this and have been through it. Every child I have every met with throw a tantrum at some point and that cry is different than if they are really hurt but I am sure some people can not tell the difference in that cry. I have a day care so my house if far from tantrum free so maybe that is why I know the difference, I know when they are faking being upset to get their way and they even get mad at me for that sometimes because I am not buying the act.
1 person likes this
@angelic123 (1108)
• United States
1 Oct 10
Jumping into conclusions. MOst of the time people have a preconceived idea on what is going on.That a real problem.Sometimes kids cry without apparent reason. They should ask your daughter if they do not believe you. I do not like people who are always jumping into conclusions.
1 person likes this
