Honey I don't know what to do.(Part I)
By dabyo217
@dabyo217 (67)
Philippines
October 2, 2010 8:37pm CST
I am a very organized man and until now I can still say that. I am used to it. I want to see things the way I planned it to be because even while planning it, I am so excited about it. Sadly, I have to face one big consequence when I got into a relationship.
Like I said awhile ago, I am an organized man and so every time I will meet up my girlfriend or even waiting for her to come to my house, I plan. We made schedule together like I'll ask her what time she'll arrive so that I can cook for dinner or something or prepare something for her. Unfortunately, the time that we meet up isn't always followed and so all my preparations including our schedule becomes useless and the saddest part, the excitement is turned into a bad feeling.
We also have an issue where in when we will go together to a certain place and meet up somebody, we'll made AGAIN a schedule and come to that time, it won't be followed. Just right now that we are suppose to leave to meet somebody, she is still asleep.
We talked about this and the last that she said, "don't tell me what to do". She doesn't want anyone telling her what to do (who does?). Even I do not want that but what about the schedule and plans?
I feel that at this point, I am so much disrespected. She doesn't respect my time and it seems that she doesn't appreciate what I am doing. I am not sure if I should feel this way and I am not sure of the things that might happen to us.
Like I said in my title, "honey, I don't know what to do".
6 responses
@strawberrychocodahi (4818)
• Philippines
3 Oct 10
Is she really hard to comply with scheduled time or it just so happen that your girl was working hard that it was so heavy on her part to get up on bed? I don't know too, but anyway if she does respect you, she should know on her part to be "committed".
Does she always do this to you? you should tell her how you feel about it. In a relationship, it is important to be responsible. What if you are already husband and wife? you don't shout and say to your better half, hey don't tell me what to do! it is really rude and if she is a wife she will subdue to you because your the husband.
Is this really the girl you really want to be with for the rest of your life? Being committed and doing the best for your beloved is something that is to be natural, not artificially made. If she is not ready to commit, then what is the point of being in a relationship?
@dabyo217 (67)
• Philippines
5 Oct 10
Well done! Very well said. You deserve to receive the best response mark. I agree with you. Whether I make plans on things or not, she should respect my time as well. I am not mad because my plan for the day was ruined. I am mad because a lot of time was spent on waiting for her where there's so much more that can be done.
@chhetp1 (467)
• India
3 Oct 10
Great Expectation always leads to dissatisfaction. This is what I have learned from my broken relationship. When it is the special love relation, I guess you would need flow in its waves.
When you start planning so much, it is bound to bring lot of anguish and anger not able to follow it up.
Just chill and let the relationship fly on its own course. Things will get to place soon or you will find better ways to live!!!
@tomitomi (5429)
• Singapore
3 Oct 10
Everyone needs space even in an intimate relationship. I know that happens in my family too.
Whatever we have planned and planned alot and while hoping for things to turn out the way they should they can always turn out otherwise instead. While we have some control on what we plan the result is totally beyond ours. One failure doesn't mean that we fail. It's better that we have planned and have learnt something than never have planned. Perhaps would have made a little difference if we have planned them all together.
There is something we can learn from this.
@kodukodu84 (1569)
• Malaysia
3 Oct 10
Maybe she feels like you are planning too much and all she has to do in the relationship is follow what you planned. I can understand if she start seeing the dark part of a relationship where you can't enjoy the freedom just by sitting, doing nothing, and enjoy the fresh air in the relationship you know. Maybe you two should sometimes stop being busy with other people schedule as well, don't you think she may feels obliged on following your friends schedule and plans, not only yours? It is time for you to think if she needs rest from all those busy plans, she needs to be pampered sometimes as a girlfriend and not being dictated. She is a human being and a woman. Maybe she would loves to have just a casual and relaxing date sometimes, with romantic movies, probably. Sounds like you are organized, but also too serious that you forgot what love and relationship means and what it takes to make it happy everyday between a man and a woman. Just relax, and give her a space to breath. Let her rest this time, and probably she's right, stop telling her what to do for a while, means she has a life to live too, her own personal life.
@sweetloveforeve (13106)
• Portugal
3 Oct 10
is normal that sometimes is impossible to make schedules like we want to^^ bcs sometimes we meet people in the street that talking with us and all makes us arrive late somewhere or something. that happens. but right now if you had plans with your gf and is time for it and she says for you dont tell her what to do she shouldnt talk that way. she agreed to go with you so if she doesnt want anymore she should say sorry but i prefer to stay at home sleeping bcs im tired. im sorry other day we go out together ok? but talk in a sweet way. if you guys always argue and dont understand each other it little by little can ruin your relationship^^ also dont plan everything. sometimes making too much plans just be in our way^^ plan one thing or two but not how your day will be in every detail^^ that will just stress you out and her too^^
@avic24 (57)
• Philippines
3 Oct 10
Hi dabyo,
You are really organized man... I think you're expecting to much from your partner.
Did you know that unfulfilled planning or expectation will cause problems.
Like in your situation, you plan ahead but what do you get?? nothing!!! Disappointment come... you will just feel sad, maybe angry in some point that leads to something else.
I advise that you should not dictate her on what to do... do not plan ahead..
Just go with the flow... For me, its more exciting rather than that.
"No expectations, fewer disappointments!!" Its that simple. Not easy. Simple.
